Author's Note: Two days ago, this story had 8 pages. I suddenly got inspired and finished it. It has been floating around in my head forever and I think I like it enough. I couldn't decide a rating so I went with M for swearing and the mild sexual themes. I might finish 'Redemption' one of these days when I have time, but for now, this is what I've come up with. I hope you like it and you are all brilliant.
Enemy of mine, I'll fuck you like the devil. Violent inside, beautiful and evil. I'm a ghost. You're an angel. We're one and the same, just remains of an age. Enemy of mine, I'm just a stranger in a strange land. Running out of time, better go. Angel or a demon, I gave up my soul, I'm guilty of treason, I've abandoned control.
She remembered it vividly.
"RON! RON!" Calling his name but it was lost. Hanging in the air with defiance. She was running with the devil on her tail, the most important things in her life only feet away. Running. She saw fire ahead of her. Fire hair.
"HERMIONE!" Her name from his lips. She felt as if she was being dragged down into the earth's core. Cries around her. Colors flying from wands she couldn't see. So many dead, so many dying. And now she was falling, "NO!" His voice booming out like thunder. Deaths Eaters coming through the trees toward her….she tried to get up but she could barely move. Stunned.
"KILL THE MUDBLOOD!" A hiss from the darkness, and she knew it was for her alone. But he was there…the man who she loved with all her heart. He was coming for her.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" She heard the words, so filled with hate, and saw the flash of green shoot through the trees…towards her chest. Her eyes closed, expecting darkness, pain, nothing…she didn't know. But it didn't come. Reality was ever present. The world was silent for the longest moment of her life.
"RON!" Her voice broke the silence. He had jumped in front of her like a shadow, her protector until the very end of the world. The flash of green collided within to him, the light illuminating all things. And she never saw the horror in his eyes.
Her limbs began to work again as she stood to catch him as he fell. Tears already echoing against her cheeks. His green eyes still holding a ghost within them. But they were coming…coming to tear away the life he had died to protect. Ron. Ron. Her Ron. She wanted to cling to him and never let him go. But they were coming….time was running out.
And then she stood.
She raised her wand, a glistening diamond weighing heavy on her finger. She let out a cry to the men running towards her, a warning. "IMPEDIMENTA! STUPEFY! RECTUMPSEMPRA!" Her voice edged in fury, tears streaming down her cheeks. But she wanted more pain, more agony. She wanted them to feel the loss the she knew would consume her. Curses flew around her but she was gone. "CRUCIO! CRUCIO!" She cried but only a chorus of laughs greeted her. She couldn't mean it in her soul.
But then, the others came from behind her. Harry's eyes went to the body, but he couldn't stop. There was a war to fight. A war he couldn't seem to win. George, Ginny, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Bill, Fleur, Dean Thomas, Luna, Neville, and all the remaining members of the resistance. The last who had survived. The fallen Order. They ran through, curses flying in defense but few Death Eaters fell. Harry had one goal: Voldemort. And vanished through the trees.
She had fallen back to him. Her Ron. The body. She covered him with her frame, hands shakily holding his head, whispering his name. The flashes of curses and harsh cries around her disappeared. She was alone, by the boy freezing in her arms. Crystal dripping from her eyes and onto his flesh.
Promise me you'll never forget. Promise to make me proud. Promise to never let me go.
"I promise Ron…I promise."
"Hermione…we need to go…we need to take him back." It was George who spoke, his face like a mask. Half of him already dead and gone. Someone was pulling on her but she wouldn't leave him, she wouldn't separate. She wanted to become the ground with him.
"NO! I can't…I can't leave him! Don't touch him!" Somewhere Mrs. Weasley let out a sob as the sound of Death Eaters Disapparating in resounding 'pops' sounded around them. A melody of loss and sadness. She won't let him go. She wouldn't separate.
"Hermione…." Ginny's voice, her eyes betraying her strength. But she wouldn't let go. She wouldn't separate. Her protector. Her Ron. When did the light fade from his eyes? But she had made a promise, and she would keep it. She would find him revenge for the one who spoke the words that sent his soul away. She won't let him go. She'll never separate.
Hermione Granger remembered it vividly.
And this was the night her world disappeared.
She remembered the months before when Voldemort had escaped from Hogwarts. Harry had been so close to finally finishing him off. But it wasn't enough. It was never enough. They and the Order had all decided to gather forces and attack at the Malfoy Manor.
And the night before was when he asked her.
"Can I talk to you for a second Hermione?" Ron's voice called from the sitting room in the Burrow, and she entered without question. War had made them closer. The battles only cemented what they had been denying for years. Love. They loved each other. The night she had kissed him changed everything. It made life align in perfect sequence. Amongst the pain and loss of war there was still happiness, there was still hope.
"What's on your mind Ron?" His eyes so full of love, she should have known. His face flushed in scarlet, a smile forming on her lips.
"I know this is soon and everything…but I think this is right. And I thought a lot about it. Talked to Harry, mum and dad. I think I've warmed them up to the idea. You're the only one left to convince."
"And what exactly do I need to be convinced of?" She crossed her arms but Ron moved to take her hand.
"I've looked up how Muggles do this you know…Harry helped. You should've bloody seen us." A grin spread across his face, a grin she had learned to love so much.
"What are you talking…" Before she could finish, even the smartest witch of her age hadn't figured out this puzzle. He got down on one knee, his whole face crimson as he did, and their eyes met. A ring sat innocently in his large fingers. Her breath caught in her chest…pieces falling together in harmony.
"Hermione Granger, I wanted to know if you'd do make me the happiest damn bloke in the world and marry me?" The words were a blur, but the answer was already in her mouth before he said them.
"But what about the war?" Fell out instead and he got up, shaking his head as he did, hand still holding hers.
"Oh fuck the war. I'd much rather marry you."
"Then yes…" She spoke softly as their eyes met, his smile fading into a look of seriousness, somewhat surprise.
"Really? Yes?" A laugh slipped from her lips at his utter surprise, and it made her kiss him, a kiss she could never tire of.
"Yes, Ron. It was always yes." And with that, he slipped the ring onto her finger, their fate forever sealed. She was going to marry Ron, and something, small as it may seem, was finally right.
But she had learned how all wonderful things turn back into dust.
More battles. More months of planning and tracking Death Eaters. More time wondering where Voldemort had gone. And then they had decided to return to the Manor. To find Voldemort, or Death Eaters, they didn't know. But they went.
And that was when Hermione Granger's world ended.
And she never saw the horror in his eyes.
That night she lost her best friend, her protector, her fiancé. Her Ron.
But Harry, who had vanished after Voldemort in the battle, he had never come back. They had searched for hours after the Death Eaters had Disapparated. Tried to contact him for days…weeks….but he was gone. Just like that the two men who had been Hermione's life had disappeared from it. She had tried so hard to be strong…so very hard. Ron's funeral was agony, a pain ripping through her…and Harry wasn't even there to hold her together.
After that she knew that she couldn't stay. She knew she couldn't keep putting herself through hell, and dragging everyone down with her. Ron was everywhere, but he lurked the most behind his family's eyes. She couldn't keep being haunted, not like this. And so she left in the night, exactly six months after his death. A note with her apology and thanks….
She left the Wizarding World behind her then. She vanished into Muggle London.
But she did have one mission: Destroy any Death Eater that got in her way. Hunt them down and teach them pain. She became stone. She had to lose herself. She had to become a killer.
And Hermione Granger did just that.
Two More Death Eaters Found Dead: Killer Still On the Loose.
A year. A year passed and there was still a hole in her chest. But as she read the headline in the Daily Prophet, an empty smile crossed her lips.
It was becoming easier to watch them die.
Six Death Eaters in all. Not nearly enough to show them fear, to show them pain, but enough for someone to notice. And notice they did.
Executive Order 274: Quartering Act
She read the next headline but it didn't matter. None of it really mattered. She got the Prophet at her flat to keep tabs, to watch. Voldemort had the Prophet, and the Ministry, under his thumb. She could read between the lines. They were looking for her, they wanted her dead.
And then she heard her door slam open.
"Get the fuck out of my house now….or I'll send you back to Voldemort in a box." Her voice was a dangerous hiss as she pointed the wand at her intruder. He stood, dressed in black, grey eyes meeting hers. Here was another Death Eater asking for their demise. One who bore the darkest mark. It didn't matter that she had passed him in familiar hallways…that they had grown up enemies…that she had memorized how fire could grow in those eyes.
He was the enemy. He was an accomplice in ruining her life. And she would ruin his.
"I'd like to see you try Granger." Draco Malfoy. Draco fucking Malfoy. It had to be him didn't it? A smug, dangerous look on his face. But she knew this day would come…she knew she would find him one day. But she hadn't expected it to be today.
"You must really be an ignorant fool Malfoy…"
"Do you really think you can scare me? Who's the real fool here? I'm not the one hiding. I'm not the one who people die around. The Weasel should've known what was coming…and Potter is probably rotting somewhere too." His words, laced in venom, only made her grip her wand tighter, step closer. She wasn't afraid. She was stone after all.
But he saw her strength, and he had come to break it.
"Are you trying to hurt me Malfoy? You'll have to try harder than that." His smirk faded into a sneer, his wand lazily hanging from his fingertips. But she knew he was ready.
"You'd like that wouldn't you? Maybe it would distract you from all those thoughts of Weasley…you still smell like death," His eyes were freezing embers, but she remained still and ready, even as the words ripped wounds into her soul, "Haven't you read the paper this morning Granger? You must have a clue why I'm here."
"There's nothing in there to interest me."
"Executive Order 274: Quartering Act. Ring a bell?" At his words she remembered reading the headline, barely glancing at the article. But she knew her history. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked at him, "That's right Granger, meet your new house guest. The Dark Lord has a handful of Mudbloods he wants watched. You made the list."
"You can't get me to agree to this Malfoy…." She knew what this meant. She would be a prisoner in her own home. But she would rather die than let him stay here, in her home, one of the only places she had left.
"Either you agree or I take you right to him. Your choice."
"I'm not afraid to die." She said this truth, her eyes full of defiance and he simply laughed. He laughed right at her.
"That would make your pathetic existence so much easier to bare wouldn't it? But he wouldn't kill you…he'd make you wish you were dead. He'd make you beg for it. Then you could see your precious Weasel again." The words were enough to send her over the edge, back into the place where Hermione Granger didn't exist.
He was just another Death Eater, and she wanted him to hurt.
She pointed her wand and her lips opened to utter a curse, but he was faster, "Expelliarmus!" And with that her wand flew from her fingers and into his hand.
"I don't need my wand to hurt you Malfoy…You can't make me agree to this." Fire was in her eyes, blood boiling. He smirked at her and it only fueled her anger.
"But I can. The Ministry isn't on your side anymore. The Dark Lord makes the rules now." With these words she watched as he dropped her wand to the ground and slammed his black boot into it. A crack that spoke volumes sounded around them. He picked up her wand, broken in two, and smirked at her.
"I hate you…." She breathed the words, disbelief echoing in her eyes as she met his gaze once more.
"I hate you more."
She refused to make this easy.
At night, when finally she had heard him shut the door of the guest room, a place he had modified to fit his taste, she was waiting.
Her wand was gone but she wouldn't let that stop her…silently she took all the food that couldn't go to waste and hid it in her room. She hid toilet paper, towels, soap, eating utensils…she even went as far as to hide some chairs. All of it went into her expandable bag, for her use only. If he needed something, he could find a way to it himself.
Finally she grabbed knives. The biggest one may be her only defense.
And she went to his door, knowing there would be protective wards around it, but she tried to get in. Tried….and failed.
She had lost this battle, but she had no idea a war was about to come.
"And what the fuck are you playing at Granger?" Banging on her door, his voice angry behind it. She had locked it as tight as she could and propped up a heavy chest in front of him. If he wanted to get in, to hurt in in any way, he would have to work for it.
Wandless now, the remaining pieces in his possession, she grabbed the knife from the night before and moved the heavy chest. Amber eyes met grey as she opened the door, her hand tightly gripping the knife at her side. Silently, her moleskin bag wrapped around her, she stepped passed him into the kitchen.
"Did you hear me you worthless Mudblood? Where did you put everything?" He followed angrily after her, his hand digging into her shoulder as he twisted her around, but she was ready. She spun to face him, knife in her hand as she pressed it against his throat.
"This is my house. Not yours. And I will not be your slave. If you want something, get it yourself…" She applied pressure to the knife in her hand, the blade uncomfortably meeting the skin at his throat, "I have no problem ending your life right here Malfoy."
"It was you wasn't it? You're the one killing off Death Eaters…" At these words she moved swiftly away from him to gaze out the window into a life that seemed so far away now. But he wouldn't let it go, not that easily, "I didn't think you had the stomach for it Granger. Not you…little perfect Mudblood…"
"Does it make you feel good? Putting me down? Do you feel like a better man? It only makes you weak…just like the rest of Voldemort's followers. They deserved what they got and more. They deserved to suffer." Something lurking behind her eyes made him stop for a moment. Made him take it all in.
There was an emptiness. A swelling darkness and loneliness that made him regard her curiously. Hermione Granger was gone, he saw that now. In her place was someone else, a shell of a person. A terrible sadness still lurking within her.
But what had he expected to find?
He had seen Weasley die in front of him. He had watched as he threw himself in front of Granger just before the curse hit. Never before had he seen that kind of love. A love that you would sacrifice your life for. His mother and father didn't share it. And he had never felt it. But that night it existed. He had watched it die.
And now looking into her eyes, he saw the other death that had happened that day. Part of her had died with Weasley. And now Golden-Boy Potter had left her too. She had been left to face the world on her own, defenseless.
Yet it was clear she hadn't let her sadness consume her, she let it burn like a fire in her soul.
"What happened to you Granger?" His question, laced in sincerity and delivered in disbelief, now made her frown. He remembered her so differently…the Mudblood sidekick of Potter, the bookworm, his true match in school, fiery personality, sensitive, even caring if he had to go that far. But that wasn't the girl in front of him…and he had to know where she went.
She didn't answer right away, she didn't want to give him an inch. Enemy. He was the enemy and she owed him nothing.
"Just remember, I've killed every Death Eater I've come across since that night. Wand or not." And with these words she vanished back into her room and barricaded her door once more. He watched her go with a stoic face, but a storm brewed inside his head.
Hermione Granger would remain in her room for the better part of the next month.
He didn't like this, not in the least.
But what Draco Malfoy hated most was being ignored. And not being able to break a person, to figure them out…to get under their skin and affect their very bones.
He could not break Hermione Granger.
Just like the Dark Lord ordered, he watched her. But she never left unless she had to get some vital to her survival. No more Death Eaters were killed. Even though he didn't fear her, he still knew she may be volatile enough to truly try and kill him in his sleep.
Draco Malfoy never left his door unlocked.
The first month living with her, she barely spoke to him. They danced around each other. And to think, his original plan was to come here, break her spirit, and maybe get her taking orders from him. He had never planned to use force…to hurt her. Yet that was expected, wasn't it?
"Draco….I assume the Mudblood is giving you no problems?"
"No father….she obeys me. I had to use force at first, but she's accepted her place now."
"Good, good. The Dark Lord will be proud. Do not let her step out of line Draco."
"I won't…I know the Dark Lord has plans for her."
"Break her. Make her think Potter will not come back."
"I will."
How could be break someone who was beyond broken?
"I'm leaving for a while. There's a mission…." It was the first words he had spoken to her in days. She sat on the couch, staring down at the knife she refused to go anywhere in her house without. Even though she knew he wouldn't hurt her, the weeks of coexisting had proven that, she was still cautious, "If I see Potter….I'll tell you." It was these words that made her look up.
She considered thanking him, it's what she should've done, but she went defensive instead.
"I don't need your sympathy, Malfoy."
"Then fuck you, Granger."
And with that, he was gone.
A few days passed and Hermione once more found herself plagued by dreams of war, of bodies she knew being piled up carelessly. But this time she saw gray eyes…pale blonde hair…
Only to wake up feeling more empty and alone then she had felt before.
A frozen piece of her had awakened the minute Draco had left. She realized all too abruptly that having him in her home wasn't as horrible as it could have been. That maybe it was nice to have someone there, even if they barely spoke.
At least that way, someone knew she was still alive, that she was there. That she hadn't been just another casualty of this pointless war.
As another nightmare plagued her, she awoke with tears in her eyes, even though she had sworn she had cried enough tears to never let them spill again. So much death, so much pain. And it was so very real, so vivid. It made her think Malfoy was never coming back, just like the others. She didn't need someone else to abandon her.
She got up from bed and went over to her dresser, a small, plain box sitting on top. It was innocent enough, but it was not innocent. It took her minutes to gather the strength to take off the top, her hands shaking. Sitting there, still so beautiful by the light of the moon, was her engagement ring.
Such beautiful thing, to only be wasted away.
After Ron had died, she could barely wear it. And so she hid it away for times when she knew she needed to see it again, prove it was all real. It only made the pain, the sadness, the utter insanity of it all cut further deep into her.
There was still a war to be won. And she didn't know if good would ever prevail. She had separated herself from that world.
But she wouldn't let him go. She wouldn't separate from him.
And she never saw the horror in his eyes.
What she wanted she couldn't have. She wanted Ron to be alive again, she wanted to know where Harry was and that he was safe. But she seemed lost in the dark. Only a beautiful ring to assure her it all had happened, even though some days she wished it never had. Some days she wished she never got her Hogwarts letter. Maybe she would be in peace now.
But she was only in pieces.
It was these thoughts that danced through her head as a loud 'pop' sounded in her living room.
"FUCK!"
She didn't wait to analyze it, instead the sound of another human voice drove her downstairs. Her engagement ring fell to the floor and took all the heavy pain that came with it. Hermione found herself staring at Draco Malfoy. He was on his knees, body shaking, as blood poured from gashes in his torso. Her tan carpet would be forever stained with his memory. Just like her. She knew she couldn't wash him away.
"Granger…I need you to heal me." Malfoy then pulled out his wand and held it out for her to take, a gesture that surprised even her. She could see the pain in his eyes and wasn't sure if she cared or didn't.
He could have gone back to the Manor. They would have healed him…they would be expecting him. But in the last minute he knew he needed to come here, though why, he didn't know. Maybe he had hoped to get some sort of reaction out of the girl who had seemed so dead to him. And there was something…it moved behind her eyes.
"I hope you bleed out…." She responded coldly to his request, letting a hateful look cross her face. But it didn't reach her eyes. Killing Death Eaters had become so commonplace, so right, yet she realized now she had hoped he didn't die, wherever he had been before. She wasn't ready for someone else to abandon her.
Still, Hermione turned her back on him and began to walk away.
"Granger." His voice called to her as he stumbled to his feet, moving closer to her as she turned to look at him. Draco reached out and grabbed her shoulders to steady himself as their eyes met. And for once she had no smart remark for him.
Instead she saw so much hidden away in those grey eyes, the storm that had been brewing his entire life. There was pain and a deep, deep loneliness. It was as if she was staring into a mirror.
He saw her tiredness, her own loss. That fragile truth she hid so brilliantly behind the mask of anger. He saw her. And suddenly he knew the reason he had chosen to come here.
Her lips parted for a moment, a second of questioning, but he didn't pause. He didn't think. But he didn't have to. One hand came up to clasp her neck and the other arm wrapped itself around her waist. Hermione's came around him, digging her fingernails into his shoulders as she pressed herself firmly against him.
Her lips collided with his right as he let out a painful cry when their bodies pressed together, grating against his wounds. He kissed her as if she was going to disappear. And she kissed him with all the emotion she couldn't let free. So fiercely it hurt. So needed it was almost animalistic.
But it was needed.
She grabbed the base of his shirt and ripped it off, causing him to hiss in pain. He tried to force his wand into her hand but she simply cast it aside.
"No…I want this to hurt."
He watched her for a moment at the statement, trying to analyze it. But he knew that she had become so good at hurting and being hurt…that this was the only way. And before he could register he was tearing off her shirt.
The blood on Draco Malfoy's chest didn't stop her from moving back into him, feeling that long-lost warmth she thought had been banished from her bones. He was kissing her again, just as rough, and she didn't want him to stop. She wanted this feeling again, even if she would hate herself in the morning.
They stumbled to his bedroom, tearing at the rest of each other's clothes. Her gasping for breath and him growling at the pain and passion building in his chest. It was then they knew they both needed this. That they were each other's answers.
Two lost souls finding comfort in each other.
Even if it only lasted a night.
Draco had never thought he would be having sex with Hermione Granger, and she never thought she would kiss another man again. Yet they were both wrong. And she let Draco take her back to a place she thought she would never be again.
When he awoke the next morning, he was naked…and alone.
But the wound on his chest had been healed and his wand placed neatly on the pillow beside him.
Hermione had stolen away from him in the night, unable to handle the anger at herself for what she had done. But she had healed him first. At least that would not being weighing on her conscience.
Instead she spent the remainder of the night clutching her engagement ring in one hand and her knife in the other. Even though she'd slept with Malfoy it didn't mean she trusted him. To her, this could easily have been some sort of ruse to break down her guard.
She wouldn't be so easily fooled.
Because she wouldn't let him go. She wouldn't separate.
For days she was haunted by the horror she imagined in his eyes. Of flashes of green whisking her love away.
And so she decided to avoid Draco Malfoy at all costs.
"Have you broken the Mudblood in yet, Draco?"
"Nearly father, her spirit is broken. She believes Potter to be dead."
"Good…very good. The Dark Lord is counting on you."
"I'm aware father."
"He believes she may be the one killing us off."
"I'm sure it isn't her. She is much too distraught to do anything. She isn't the one."
Suddenly Draco found himself protecting Hermione, leading his side on the wrong path. It was times like this he thanked his ability to keep people out of his head. But he didn't want any more pain inflicted on the girl who he was living with. She'd seen enough. And finding it in her eyes everyday was even too much for him to bear.
One night, when Draco couldn't find sleep. He heard noises coming from her room. He was surprised to find the door unlocked and when he walked in, she didn't try to stop crying. What could she do?
"Granger…." His whispered her name softly and moved into her bed bedside her, but she moved away from him. She couldn't betray herself…or the dead man she loved…again.
"Please…don't touch me."
"You can't keep doing this to yourself…you need to let them all go."
But she couldn't let them go. She couldn't separate. Not from all those she loved and lost. And he knew by her silence it was much harder than that. He reached for her hand and she allowed him to unclasp it, finding her ring there. The imprint of it nearly drawing blood.
"He wouldn't want this for you." She knows that he's right, but she can't stand hearing it. She doesn't want to be reminded of her inability to carry on with her life. So she turns around and decides to silence him with her own betrayal.
Draco doesn't have time to speak again before her lips are on his. Her clenched fist rests against his chest, still holding the ring. He uses his hand to take the knife from her other hand, tossing it aside as he deepened their kiss. This is what he wanted. Her. To pull her fire back out.
To remind her she was still in there.
Hermione's cheeks were still wet with tears as she kissed him, and his fingers came up to brush them away. It was a gesture that tore into her very being. She was going to have sex with a Death Eater…again. The same kind of person who tried to kill her…who had killed her Ron.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
She keeps repeating in her head as Draco's hands move against her skin, his lips on her neck. As she pulls off his shirt and feels the longing deep within her. This was going to save and damn her all at once.
In the morning she remained there, it was her room after all. Her bare body rested beside his and she listened to the steady sound of his heartbeat. Reminding her that he was human too. That he was here. That he remembered her.
Her clenched fist rested on his chest. She opened it and saw blood covering her ring, the flesh torn from gripping it so tightly. Draco saw it too, and he seemed to grasp her tighter.
"I never saw it…" She whispered against his warm skin, but he heard her.
"Never saw what?"
"The horror in his eyes…when he jumped in front of me." Draco stroked her hair, a gesture that made her want to run, already spilling too much of her thoughts. But for some reason, she didn't care.
"I was there. I watched Weasley save you…." The sound of his confession made a shiver run through her, reliving it all again, "But there wasn't horror in his eyes. All I saw was love. I've never seen that kind of love before."
Hermione felt the tears coming again and she tried to get out of his grasp but he pulled her tight against him.
"Don't go."
It was a simple request that made her stop trying to wrench away from him. Because she realized now that he needed her too. He'd lost things he never even had. She used to hate him so much but part of her knew that in a way, he never had the choice to be anyone other than who his world had made him become. She had loved and lost. But he was mourning the life he was not given.
Maybe this would have happened much sooner if things had been different.
Maybe she could have loved him if he wasn't forced to the dark.
He haunted the world like she did. But it was comforting to know that she wasn't alone.
So she remained in Draco Malfoy's arms, silent, a million thoughts dancing through her head. They were away from the world that was ravished with war around them. But for how long were they safe? Could she trust him? Did she want to?
Dear Hermione,
I don't know if I can trust Malfoy, but if this letter does get to you, then he's done his job. You must hate me…I would if I was you. I should never have left you after what happened to Ron. That is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. And from what Malfoy says…I'm worried for you. But he promises me that he's been trying to keep you safe. I've seen the reports of Death Eaters being killed. It's good to know my brightest ally still believes in something. I'm getting close. There's only one left. This will all be over soon and we'll see each other. Please don't forget who you are, why we love you. I can't lose you too. And you haven't lost me. I'll be back for you. I love you, Hermione. Remember that always. Malfoy told me to add in some things that only you would understand so you believe I really wrote this: Confuddling McLaggen, S.P.E.W., I solemnly swear I am up to no good, Sniffles and Whitherwings, the Timeturner…I hope those will be enough.
All my love,
Harry
As Hermione read, she went through a dozen different emotions at once. Harry was alive. She knew it…she'd always known. He knew she was killing Death Eaters and he had only one Horcrux left. Something swelled in her chest and she recognized it immediately, though she hadn't felt it in years. It was hope.
"You….you saw him?"
"How do you think I got those wounds on my chest? Potter always had a thing for drawing my blood."
"But why? Why did you do this? Your side will kill you…"
"And what, they wouldn't kill me if they found out that I was shagging you?"
"You could lie…say you force me. You'd be a hero."
At her words, Draco went silent. How do you tell someone who doesn't trust you, who hates you, that you just want to see them alive again? What he was doing was treason. It was the highest form of betrayal. But seeing Potter, knowing that he was still fighting….it gave Draco hope too.
"I won't do that. I'm leading them away from you….I don't plan on jeopardizing that."
"Why are you trying to protect me?" Even Harry had said it in his letter, if she could even trust that. The look in his eyes was unreadable. "Is this all some big plan to get me to let my guard down? It won't work. You can't break me."
"Granger…" It seemed that every time he spoke her name now, it ended with their lips touching. He stepped closer, brows furrowed, and gazed into her eyes. "I can't break something that's already broken. But I can help fix it."
"Why? I don't understand why!" She was almost shouting at him when he leaned down and kissed her roughly on the lips. She wanted to break away but she found herself unable to pull back. Instead of the usual ripping off each other's clothes in a frenzy, he softened their kiss, pressing his forehead against hers.
"Why?" She asked again, still believing this was all some sort of strategy. A small smile crossed his lips, knowing her doubt.
"You're smart…haven't you figured it out yet? Granger you silly bint…" The smile still played on his lips as he touched them to hers again, his hands gripping her upper arms. "I want this over too. I don't want to kill anymore. To hide. I want to live again."
His words were true, she knew this. And she felt the same. She wanted to feel it too.
"And so far, the only time I've felt alive is with you." Now as he spoke, she felt the urge to kiss him, and she did. She did because never had he said something that meant so much to her. Suddenly she had meaning again. And he knew that she felt alive with him too.
"We need each other." Her voice was soft as she pulled back, not wanting to meet his gaze. But he brought her chin up and their eyes locked.
"You're starting to get it…Now are you going to let me shag you senseless or do I need to wait for an invitation?" The smile returned to his lips and she felt one tug slightly at her own lips, but it didn't fully turn into one. Instead it shone in her eyes.
She didn't have to say anything else, she answered him with another kiss. Then she took his hand and led him into her bedroom.
"I can't…" Hermione shook as she spoke, staring down at a grave she hadn't visited since the day it was created. She could barely bring herself to read the name scrawled on the headstone.
Ronald Bilius Weasley
"It's too late. This is your last chance at goodbye." Malfoy was right. And she hated that he had been lately. "They've been monitoring the gravesite…knowing you'd come back."
But she hadn't. She didn't dare go there because she didn't trust herself. She had fought off a complete mental breakdown and hadn't wanted to push it. But then Draco Malfoy had appeared in her house.
When did she go from hating Death Eaters to listening to them?
She knelt down in the grass and let her hands run across the stone, cool to her touch. For so long she wanted to be the one in the ground, to take his place. She should have died, not him. But she couldn't go back in time anymore.
Her engagement ring tore new wounds as she clenched it tightly in her hand.
"I promised him I would never let him go…" She had created this promise in her head because he never had the chance to say it. And Draco knew it wasn't real. But still his hand came to rest on her shoulder.
"You don't need to forget him…but you aren't in the ground beside him. You can't keep fighting his demons. He saved you so you could live. Don't you see that?" At this point he felt anger towards Ron Weasley…Harry Potter as well. Ron for loving her so much that his death took her with him. And Harry for leaving her to die alone.
"I'm sorry…." Her voice barely a whisper as she dug a deep hole with her hands, burying the ring within the earth. She couldn't carry around its burden anymore. If anyone deserved its beauty, it was the man who gave it to her.
She stood up then, turning to Draco before losing her balance completely, but he caught her.
"Take me home….please." She had barely finished speaking before he Apparated them back. And they had barely gotten their footing in her bedroom when she pulled him down to kiss her. He didn't object. Instead he fell into the pull for her, unable to deny it. He wasn't one to stop someone from burying their problems in pleasure.
He was one to drown in it.
Soon they ended up naked and tangled as always, and she didn't know if she felt better or worse.
"You still think I'm going to give you to them, don't you?" It wasn't a question, but a statement he knew was true. After all this he couldn't gain her trust. He understood pleasure, physical feeling. But all of this was beyond him. "I've already given them everything. I want something for myself. When this all ends, I want to die a free man."
"You're not going to die…." She spoke softly at his words, that last statement running through her. He moved to look into her eyes.
"How could you know that?"
"Because I can't lose you too."
It all became so starkly clear.
They had never spoken of their relationship but knew it was necessary. That it kept them above ground and fighting. She knew that if she lost him it would really be over. Even if Harry came back…there would be nothing left of her. And suddenly the idea of truly losing the man beside her became real. The war still wasn't over and he was playing for both sides.
"Granger…" He muttered her name and touched his lips to hers before pressing his forehead against hers, eyes closed. He knew what could happen but he drove those thoughts away. He had one focus now. One reason to get out of this alive. "You won't."
"No. Malfoy I won't go. I can fight! I can help!"
She had awoke this morning to find her clothes packed, Malfoy dragging her from bed and Apparating her to Heathrow airport. A ticket in his hand.
"They're coming for you. If they find us together they'll torture you in front of me….and I can't…I can't let that happen to you." It wasn't simply that. He couldn't watch it. After all this he wouldn't hand her over for slaughter.
He would protect her to the end.
"We can fight them together! We can…."
"It's almost over…something's happened and the Dark Lord is furious. I think Potter's done something…" At his words a glimmer of hope shot through Hermione's chest. The final Horcrux. It was time. "They have no use for you now, they want to use you to force him to surrender."
"Then Harry needs me…we can't just leave him! I won't let anyone else die for me!"
"And I won't let you die! The further you are from this…the better." At his words she understood exactly what he wanted her to do. There was only one ticket in his hand.
"You…you're not coming with me?"
"I can't. They'll come after us. I can make it look like you overpowered me somehow…that you escaped. I need to keep them off your trail." He reached up and cupped her cheeks with his hands. "Please don't argue."
"But what if they kill you!" She pushed his hands away, wanting to beat his chest with her fists but knowing it would be no use. All she could think about was the horror in his eyes.
She wouldn't let him go. She wouldn't separate.
"Granger…haven't you learned that I won't let anything keep me from you?" And just like that she was kissing him, a kiss that felt so much like a final act. And to think, she had been so revolted for ever kissing him at all.
But she felt she had wasted too much time not kissing him.
"Draco…." She said his name, and it sounded like fire on her lips. He saw it flash in her eyes.
"No…don't you say my name like you're saying goodbye." He kissed her fiercely once again, pressing his lips to her forehead before pulling something from his pocket. "You'll need this. There will no doubt be trouble along the way. And it took me a lot of bloody trouble to get right."
A jolt went through her as he placed her wand in her hand, feeling as if another missing part of her had been restored. Her eyes went down to look at it in awe. The last time she had saw it, it was broken in half, unfixable. Now it was whole again.
"How…"
"It took time…but I found someone who could do it. You needed it. Now go…your flight's going to leave. And I swear to Merlin if you miss it I will never forgive you."
"But…I can't. I can't leave you here!"
"Hermione!" His voice bellowed her name and it burned into her very soul. She couldn't deny him now. "If you care at all about me. You'll go."
His storm eyes were tumultuous. She'd never seen them so ablaze. Like they were alive for the first time. "I do." She grasped onto him and kissed him for the last time, wanting this moment to freeze. At least before she had been taken off guard….death had surprised her.
Now it was drawn out…taunting her. She hated it.
"Come find me…the minute it's over. Come for me." She said firmly as she broke away from him, his hand clasping hers.
"I will." There was a deep promise in his eyes as he released her hand. She got washed away in the crowd. Then before she knew it, she had boarded her plane. She didn't even care where it was headed.
Once again, Hermione Granger turned to stone.
It had been three months.
The plane she had taken eventually brought her to the United States where not even Voldemort had reached. She took refuge at a cousin's house who had been informed on the phone by a man with a sleek, dark voice that she would be arriving. No questions were asked once they saw the state Hermione was in.
The worst kept replaying in her mind. Harry and Draco were dead. Everything was lost. She would never go home.
At least she had killed a few more Death Eaters along the way.
And every night she dreamt of gray eyes.
One day, she was mailed a copy of the latest Daily Prophet, with no return address. On the front page was Harry, tired and worn, but also something she hadn't seen in a while. Happy. It was the headline that caused her to weep for days.
You-Know-Who defeated by the Boy Who Lived.
She could barely read it through her tears.
Now she wanted to go home but her thoughts went to Draco. What if he came looking for her here? Or worse…what if he was dead? There were no specific names in the Prophet and she feared the worst. So she waited…
And two agonized weeks passed as Hermione Granger gave up hope and bought a place ticket home.
On the day of her departure, the doorbell rang and she went to answer it, a dead look in her eyes. Once again she had become a ghost. It came natural now. But as she opened the door she was filled with life again.
"Sorry I'm late."
A smirk danced on his lips as his gray eyes lit up brilliantly. She had never seen a more beautiful sight. A laughed escaped her lips…it was the first one she'd felt in four years. Never did she think she would be happy to see Draco Malfoy. But she had trouble thinking of how she couldn't.
"I thought…" She began to say, tears falling from her eyes, but he brushed them away.
"I know. But I told you that you wouldn't lose me, Granger."
She found herself at a loss for words for once. Instead she let him wrap his arms around her and kiss her. It felt like the first of many. It echoed through her limbs and lit her blood on fire. The war had finally ended and there really was hope, it had been hiding all along.
They no longer had to face the world alone. A future painted out majestically before them.
"Let's go home." She said happily and as she pulled back she saw something that truly did give life to her.
She saw the love in his eyes.