On an unrelated note, my CO sequel will be posted May 7th. That's my AP chemistry exam. Cheer me on, people! Anyway...
COMPLETE CRACK FIC, but with a message! Inspired mostly by a review of Bucken-Berry's on 'This Glassy Surface'. It's a fantastic story, and you should check it out if you haven't already. It was hard not to put AC into this story, because that's my vote, but that's not the point. The point is, for god's sakes, stop the turf war. And I'm talking to one reviewer in particular…
Note: Just because I have someone written as part of the turf war doesn't mean that they actually are. In fact, only person has been in the turf war since the beginning and still is. I apologize if I got some of his quotes wrong. He's anonymous, so it's hard to tell who is who. Well, this fanfiction is dedicated to him! And, of course, DustyMonkey.
It was the army of AC shippers versus the army of AO shippers. Such a great battle had never been heard of before in the vast landscape of fanfiction . net. In the world of DustyMonkey, where it's your traditional Alex and Olivia couple versus Alex and the girl who some people still hate just because of who she's not, Casey, two sides began to form. Those shouting for Olivia to return and swoop Alex back into her arms and ride off into the sunset, or those cheering for the unconventional Alex and Casey to ignore Olivia's upcoming return and ride off to the moon. What? I needed an unconventional saying for the unconventional pairing. Don't look at me like that!
At first, people were all for Alex and Olivia. Then, things began to change. When Olivia left Alex as a broken hearted mess and it was Casey who picked up the pieces, people began to shift sides. And at first, it was all well and good. Sunshine and rainbows, bunnies and cupcakes.
But then things changed.
It started with a few offhand comments that caused little to no uproar. Just little things here or there, insulting other reviewers or saying nothing more that Casey or Olivia was awful. Then people started getting mad at the author for putting this under the wrong pairing, even though the pairing was still undecided.
That was when all hell broke loose. Who threw the first stone? An AC shipper or an AO shipper? Nobody knows. And not everybody was involved. But there were a few who turned the review section into a turf war.
"Okay, everybody," Tracer said, gesturing for them all to gather in a circle. "Here's the plan: chase off all the Alex and Olivia shippers for their traditional ways and the fact that they hate our idol. Kill any stragglers."
All the AC shippers cheered, earning them dirty looks from the AO shippers gathered across the battlefield.
"Look at them," grumbled buck my berry- i.e. self-righteous moron pretending to be Bucken-Berry. "How could they see Alex with that incompetent, stupid, lumbering replacement? All Casey is is a replacement for Alex. Alex is meant to be with Olivia. Lets go slaughter all the AC shippers for having expressing their opinions about a fictional pairing. Team Olivia!"
When the AC shippers heard the AO shippers' war cry, it was the last straw. "Team Casey!" shouted chris925, and the AC shippers ran straight for the AO shippers, waving machine guns and grenades in the air. The AO shippers ran at them too, and when they collided, what resulted was a battle of such astronomical proportions it could only have resulted from fanfiction.
Among the battle cries for AO and AC, there were also shouts of reporting the author, DustyMonkey, for misrepresenting the pairing and ruining their lives by making them read one story where Alex wasn't with St. Olivia and was, instead, with She Who Must Not Be Named. This only made people angrier, the battle continued.
Gunfire echoed over the battlefield the army of anonymous ACers went after the few but strong AOers. It was a brutal fight, with blood and bullets flying everywhere.
Finally, the creator of the story herself, DustyMonkey arrived on scene. "Everybody, stop fighting!" she cried.
They all stopped and looked up at their god, the one who could pair Alex up with Casey or Olivia, the one who determined the meaning of their existence. "It. Is. Fiction!" she cried. "What does it matter who ends up with who? If you like it, read it. If you don't like it, don't read it. Just calm down and please stop the turf war. Just focus on the story being told and remember that I can not please everybody. Please, a work of fiction really worth all this fighting and bloodshed?"
People stopped their fighting and began to nod appreciatively. Perhaps she was right. Maybe they were taking this all too far.
But just when DustyMonkey had thought her message had sunk in, a new AO shipper came onto the scene. "Alex and olivia make a better pair casey was just a overdue rebound doesn't matter if they are "in love" alex should be with olivia in the end," terrell shouted, albeit with incorrect grammar that Ranowa copied and pasted and did not write herself.
Inexplicably, it was another AO shipper who fought back, the one who had began the turf war in the first place. "Whatever terrell, so it's ok to be with somebody you're not in love with? Obviously you haven't fall in love before cuz u don't know what ur blabbering about"
They began fighting again, shooting each other with their guns before they ran out of bullets and simply ran at each other and began wrestling. DustyMonkey threw her hands up in the air and left while everybody else, including their fellow AO shippers, stared, aghast.
Finally, it was Bucken-Berry and Tracer who pulled them apart. "Stop it, both of you!" Bucken-Berry exclaimed. "What the fuck is wrong with you two? Didn't DustyMonkey just say to please stop fighting in the reviews?"
"Please!" Tracer agreed. "Just leave DustyMonkey alone and let her finish her story. You don't like the outcome nobody's forcing you to read it. Don't spoil it it for the people who enjoy the author's talent."
Terrell sighed, shook Bucken-Berry off him, and nodded. "You're right, I'm sorry, anon. DustyMonkey. No more fighting from me!"
Anon rolled his eyes and groaned. "Wow people coming to the review section and fighting with anons telling them not to fight in the reviews because there's logic there o_O #TEAMOLIVIA"
Everybody turned slowly to stare at anon. Including the nice anon AC shipper who this fic is not directed towards. "Um… is he being serious?" gleeeeeeeek89 asked uncertainly.
"I think so," jbcjazz said.
"What?" anon asked innocently. "TEAM OLIVIA!"
All the AO shippers backed away from him, not wanting to be associated with him. 1bailee23 jumped back, being the closet to anon when the guest tried to move closer to him.
"Wait a minute!" Ranowa Hikura, from the AC shipper side, exclaimed. "I know this guy! This 'anon' flamed my CO story for not being AO!"
"Mine too! Doesn't he also flame EO stories?"
"Yeah, he flamed mine!"
"And mine!"
A chorus of agreement echoed through the crowd, and people turned to glare accusingly at anon, who shrugged. "Hey, if they're too stupid to see that Alex and Olivia belong together for all of eternity and that Casey is a stupid replacement and that Elliot never saw Olivia as anything but a friend, if that, then all their stories deserved to be wiped off the face of the earth! Come on, lets get the AC shippers! TEAM OLIVIA!"
No one mimicked his battle cry. This time, it was the AC shippers who backed away from him.
Finally, someone said, "Just ignore him. He's clearly a complete idiot and doesn't have the maturity to admit he's wrong in flaming everybody else. He's probably just a twelve year old with access to a computer. And self-esteem problems."
Everybody nodded in agreement while anon stared in shock. "Hey, I'm not alone in this! I'm not the only AO shipper who hates Casey!"
"No, but you're the only one who goes around flaming everybody else!" EdibleSlaw snapped. "Come on. Let's go."
Everybody turned and walked off the smoking battlefield, leaving anon all by his lonesome. He tried to follow, but an AO shipper kicked him away.
When he was all alone, he shouted, "TEAM OLIVIA!" again. It only echoed across the empty landscape. All the flamers had left, and the Great Ship War of 2012 was hopefully over, even though This Glassy Surface was still unfinished. Why? Because it took two people to start a war, and now, anon was the only person who wanted to pick a fight.