Dreaming of You
An NCIS Fanfic.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. And I wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too.
.
2011
For the past several years Tony had been plagued by a recurring dream. This was quite unusual to him as he usually could not recall any part of your standard, run-of-the-mill dream. Even as a child he had never really had fantastical dreams where his imagination took him to strange worlds that looked a bit too much like the film he saw the night before. (Who said Freud didn't have a point about the subconscious affecting dreams?)
Despite his lack of experience with detailed dreams Tony quite appreciated this one. It was always the same dream, often with a few variations, and usually had a very happy outcome. It never bordered on nightmarish which he was thankful for because he could imagine any number of ways this particular dream could quickly turn to terror.
Reflecting back on the history of the dream Tony usually ended up recalling everything associated with the evening the dream took place and sometimes even the events of the day leading up to it, trying to understand what was happening in his life to trigger the dream to begin again.
He finally found a pattern. And by that point he knew he was in trouble.
.
2001
The first time the dream had ever occurred Tony woke up panting in a cold sweat, scared out of his mind because of what he had experienced.
It wasn't that he minded the hands that ghosted over his flesh or the throbbing organ between his thighs. It wasn't that he wished to distance himself from the stubble that grazed his cheek with each movement or from the delicate whispering into his ear that caused the lobe to shiver. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy being thrust into so powerfully and thoroughly by someone who clearly knew what they were doing, or that he didn't want those amazing lips drawing kisses on his neck.
His shock mostly arose from his bed partner.
The bed partner who looked incredibly like his brand new boss. The boss who had given him a job when he felt the world falling from underneath his feet. The boss whose graying hair fell just slightly into his eyes when he leaned over Tony's desk, which usually meant it was time for a haircut, though Tony longed to run his fingers through it while it had depth and detail. The boss whose startling blue eyes seemed to burn into him at every turn, criticizing, measuring, calculating him and on a few occasions beaming with pride. The boss whose ripped Marine Corp body still defined every nook and cranny of his physique despite his age. The boss whose physique Tony admired daily, usually when no else was looking.
As he lay in bed panting for air he could still feel every sensation the dream had provided. The gentle rocking of Gibbs' body into his own. The smell of sweat and sex that filled the air. The burning pleasure coursing through his veins and trailing across every nerve ending of his body. The taught flesh beneath his fingers. The blue, blue eyes staring into his own, coaxing him onward.
It was unexpected but not unwelcome once Tony got over the initial shock. He tried to will himself back into the dream once he fell back asleep but to no avail. He woke the next morning sure that he would never experience the dream again; that it was a once in a lifetime event.
Oh, boy was he wrong.
.
2002
The next time Tony had just gotten off a case that had occupied his every spare minute for two weeks. Gibbs was actively searching for a new member for the team so that not all the work was weighing on his and Tony's shoulders. So far, not one of the applicants had made it through Gibbs' grueling interview process.
This time the dream had changed slightly. Instead of Tony's bedroom they were in interrogation. The dream began right in the middle of things, so to speak, with Gibbs already buried inside him to the hilt, the table supporting them threating to buckle from their combined weight and the their strenuous activity.
Tony's eyes caught the security camera and hoped to God it wasn't on. Two minutes later he realized he didn't care. How voyeuristic of him.
Gibbs looked the same except his hair was shorter, closer to the length it currently was on the real Gibbs. Tony figured his mind must have changed him to match. But the blue eyes were the same. They were farther away this time, though. Gibbs was still standing next to the table thrusting into Tony's eager body. In the previous dream Gibbs had been inches away from his face. Tony missed the closeness.
This dream was far more impersonal than the last, and Tony had to wonder if his subconscious was trying to tell him that he felt distant from Gibbs in reality.
He had only seconds to ponder this, however, as very shortly after he was coming in a golden haze across his abdomen.
And then he woke up.
.
2003
Strangely enough this dream occurred while new agent Caitlyn Todd slept on his couch. The pair had been out, trolling the bars, enjoying their Saturday night as new friends. Tony had insisted she stay as she was far to hammered to attempt to go home. Tony had offered her the bed but she had just punched him on the arm and exclaimed that if she was staying she wasn't putting anyone out of their own bed.
So she was passed out on the couch a room away and Tony was jerking off in his sleep (he woke up with the sheets to prove it).
He and Gibbs had been back in Tony's bed except this time there was no penetration, just Gibbs' mouth wrapped around Tony's dick, Tony clutching at the too short Marine hair.
He woke moments after the dream began covered in sweat and feeling just a bit cheated that he hadn't gotten to the good stuff in this dream.
.
2005
This dream was perhaps the oddest out of all of them. Tony was home recuperating from his bout with the plague. He spent most of his time in bed, usually asleep but it wasn't until after Gibbs had paid him a visit to check on him that he finally slid back into the dream's familiarity.
They were in an unrecognizable bedroom and Tony supposed that it must be what he imagined Gibbs' bedroom to look like. It was simple, with furniture from the eighties still present. There wasn't much color but the sun streamed in through the windows.
It was the longest dream so far, lasting an estimated forty minutes by Tony's internal clock (he just made that up).
It had begun with a massage. Tony lay on his stomach, head tucked into the pillow created by his crossed arms as Gibbs slowly caressed him from head to toe. By the end Tony felt like melted butter, his limbs flimsy with joy and his every nerve ending afire. When Gibbs' caresses became more intimate than previously Tony's hair rose up on the back of his neck. The hands eased between his oiled thighs, tracing delicate patterns around Tony's puckered hole.
His toes clenched and unclenched as Gibbs kneaded his ass cheeks, slowly drawing them apart while his other hand smoothed along his tail bone and into the crevice of his lower back, connecting the abrupt bones of his spine. Tony could feel his dick pressing hard into the mattress, desperately seeking an escape.
This wouldn't come for another five minutes during which Gibbs toyed with him mercifully, touching him everywhere except where he wanted. And even when he was finally able to lift his body up from the bed he found himself quickly impaled by Gibb's aching cock, which Tony was happy to find was just as hard, if not harder, than his own.
Tony tried to whip his head around to glimpse Gibbs' face but Gibbs pushed him back down flat against the mattress once more, still buried within him.
It was a new position for Tony, who had witnessed it only once in a porno he saw in high school. It didn't do the position justice. Not like Gibbs did. In this way Tony couldn't reach for his cock to stroke it into oblivion. He could only grind into the mattress desperately while he accepted Gibbs into his body whole-heartedly.
It was the first time he had ever orgasmed without once touching himself.
.
2006
This was the worst dream, the one that inspired all of Tony's horrible images of Gibbs' death, from drowning to strangulation, GSW to a slashing of his throat. The images had come to him once he had woken and had never intruded into the dream, thankfully. However they were what left the powerful impact upon him in the following weeks.
They were together in Tony's bed, carrying on as usual, when Gibbs had disappeared, leaving Tony flushed and angry.
He glared at the red letters on his alarm clock before smashing it to the floor.
All that was left was the badge. Gibbs' badge, which felt so incredibly wrong sitting on Tony's bedside table.
.
2007
This dream was the first to have another person in it, which Tony was not exactly ecstatic about. His past year had been rough and his heart had been run through the mill more than once. Not only had he fallen for a woman he could never truly be with, he had watched as Gibbs had fallen for a woman Tony would never measure up to. There had been some tough breaks and plenty of deaths. He really just wanted to ring in the New Year already but as it was only October he still had a ways to go.
He had slept that night with Jeanne's letter at his bedside, had fallen asleep staring at it, wishing he had never been in a situation to receive it. Yet there it was.
The dream began as usual, in Tony's bedroom with Gibbs trailing kisses down his abdomen, blue eyes staring up at him. Tony's hand clenched the bed sheets when the delicate mouth descended upon his cock.
But then he had opened his eyes…To find Jeanne standing in the doorway, silently watching their exchange. She caught Tony's eye. She didn't smile, but she didn't look unhappy.
Gibbs accidentally scraped a tooth against Tony's shaft and he had jerked in surprise. Gibbs smiled apologetically but then did it again, slowly, enjoying the faces Tony made at the new sensation. When Tony turned back to the doorway, Jeanne was gone.
.
2008-1
The New Year was not a big improvement over the previous one, in Tony's opinion. The director was dead, the team was separated, and Tony spent far too long on a boat for his taste. His only saving grace was the lovely dream which occurred whilst he was on said boat. He was, thankfully, in a single room (small but suitable) so no one was witness to his nocturnal behavior. At first Tony thought he wasn't dreaming at all and that Gibbs had in fact come to take him home. But after Gibbs had taken one step through the door way and crossed over to Tony's bunk, Tony knew he was dreaming again.
There wasn't much space in his little bunk, and the mattress left much to be desired, yet somehow they managed. There was no lube to speak of, which Tony found odd, it being a dream. They made do with saliva, not Tony's favorite alternative, and precum. Tony felt the burning as Gibbs entered him, he knew he wasn't fully prepared to take in his girth, and yet he grit his teeth and carried on, riding the pain until the pleasure came.
In the earnestness of the moment each thrust was punctuated by Tony hitting his head on the metal wall of his bunk. As they lay in the afterglow he could feel a small bump rising on his scalp, but he didn't care.
He wished more than ever that he was back home. That he had claimed Gibbs for himself before he was sent away with no word on whether he would ever see him again.
.
2008-2
Barely two weeks later he dreamed again. It was the first time the dreams had occurred in such rapid succession yet Tony suspected his real life was influencing him.
They had just returned from Gibbs' hometown where they had met his father and seen how teenage Gibbs grew up.
It was fitting, then, that the dream occurred in Gibbs' childhood bedroom, which Tony had managed a glimpse of while in the house. There was nothing to indicate that a child had ever lived in the room and everything was military straight. Yet there were signs of life here, knick knacks belonging to a teenager with an old soul.
Tony kept his eyes away from the picture of Shannon on the dresser yet her presence still pervaded the room. Tony felt guilty, as if he was intruding on something private and sacred. He imagined he was a young boy just discovering masturbation who was caught in the act by his mother. He squeezed his eyes shut and clung to Gibbs' torso tightly.
He woke up crying silent tears.
.
2010
It's almost two years until the dream occurs again and Tony is desperate for it. Real life is confusing and he doesn't want to have to make sense of it all. When he settles to sleep on Christmas Eve he is thankful to slip into bed with dream-Gibbs. He considers it his subconscious giving him a Christmas gift and is extraordinarily startled when he sees that Gibbs more than fits the part.
There is a Santa hat on his head and – Tony almost guffawed – a ribbon tied around the base of his shaft. It's too much for words as Tony "unwraps" his present, slips Gibbs beneath his sheets, and then lets Gibbs slip into him.
It's bliss and relaxation, hot and cold, contradiction and happiness. Just what the doctor ordered.
It's perfection. Until he is woken by a phone call. A case on Christmas Eve, barely time to properly dress.
And Tony opens his front door to leave and finds Gibbs standing there, arm raised as if to knock, saying there was absolutely no more time to dawdle and wait for Tony to get ready and drive to the crime scene.
No one else rode together.
.
2012
Tony supposes that it doesn't really matter why the dreams happen, just that they do. It took him ten years to figure out that the dreams weren't really something dependable he could rely on. They didn't come when he needed them, they didn't always make him feel better, and they didn't solve his problems.
What he needed was something constant and substantial. When he figured it out he felt like a fool, but a fool who does eventually realize that something is missing.
There is a stirring.
"Tony?"
He glances sideways at the face peering over at him with sleepy eyes. Tony smiles at him gently.
"Go back to sleep, Tony." Those blue eyes close once more, sending Gibbs back to his peaceful sleep, while Tony curls into his arms, accepting his constant, stable, substantial, something.
The thing he'd been missing all along.
.
Late at night when all the world is sleeping, I stay up and think of you. And I still can't believe that you came up to me and said, "I love you." I love you too.
A/N: Hi guys, I'm back. I'm on Spring Break so hopefully I'll have a chance to get lots of writing done. I'm trying to write and save up so that I'll have some already complete fics done to post when I don't have the time to write.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic. It came to me while taking a bath, weirdly enough, but I'll take my muse where I can find it!
Song lyrics featured are from Dreaming of You by Selena.
Reviews are loveliness and rainbows and puppies and cute things. Leave one for me and put a smile on my face!
Thanks for reading!
sl
Disclaimer: NCIS is the property of Donald P. Bellisario and Don McGill.