Ghost of You
YK2
I screamed in joy once.. I remember it as if it was a distorted watercolor caught in a down pour. I remember kissing him and feeling a spark in that kiss, feeling my heart do back flips when he stood behind me, his hands resting on my hips as we swayed to music playing and I cooked a small meal for the two of us. I remember those feelings of happiness...
I'm not screaming in joy now... I'm screaming in rage, in hurt, but most of all, I'm screaming in wails of sadness. I knew that his job was not the nicest of jobs, I knew that there was a chance of him getting hurt... But getting hurt is different from being killed. That's what happened...
He was protecting Reeve during one of his long-winded speeches... Someone took a shot... Rude... Elena... Tseng... Reeve... They all made it out safely... Vincent even made it away with little more than a scratch... But Reno... Oh, my poor Reno...
I loved him. Did you know that? Yes, I loved him with all my heart and I would have married him in an instant. He had the ring, I found that out just after I found out that he was shot down by an assassin aiming for Reeve. I went into our room and began throwing things around... I found it in the closet, right under all of his silly chocobo racing cards. It's gorgeous... But I just can't force myself to look at it again, let alone wear it.
Elena told me that he never stopped talking about me... No matter who they were talking to, he managed to twist the conversation around so that I was mentioned numerous times. I tried to smile at her, but I merely collapsed into sobs again. I miss him so much...
All that I really want is just for him to be sitting here, holding me in his arms. I swear to whatever deity that I'll do everything right, if only to feel his arms wrapped around! I'm going to go insane! It's three days after his funeral and I can still hear him sleeping next to me at night! I can still feel him lying with his arm draped over my waist! I can still taste his kiss when I fall asleep! WHY? Why can't I just die? Why did it have to be him?
And all I have left... Is this ghost of a memory... A trace of once being happy with him...
.fin.