I don't think I was ever meant to be happy.
Whenever I was, I was just giving Fate the finger while I smiled.
However, Fate doesn't care about anything, and it can take humans a very long time to realize that no matter how many times you give Fate the finger, or swear at it, or rage against it,it doesn't care, and it doesn't change a thing.
It took the death of one very dear and precious to me for me to realize that.
And then, the knowledge consumed me.
I was destined for great things, as a gifted genius.
My teammates were not.
The Chuunin Exams were to be my public proving grounds, to show the world that I, indeed, was the greatest of my clan's current generation.
And that amusingly stupid blonde kid changed everything.
My entire belief system, everything that I had been sure of, shattered by one stubborn, naive little boy.
Once again, Fate took everything that I'd thrown up between us and shoved it aside effortlessly.
Fate doesn't care; it is simply the inevitable end result of all things.
This knowledge doesn't make me happy, or hopeful, or willing to strive to change it.
I am at the pinnacle of my strength, and my genius can't take me any farther.
After this, there doesn't seem to be anything more for me.
Strangely, this doesn't depress me, or sadden me at all.
I'm not happy, and perhaps, that is for the best.