Logan woke to the smell of Hank's lasagna
Title: Relief, Release, Rebirth
Author: BarbaraB
Characters: Ororo, Wolverine, Gambit, Kitty, Jean, Rogue
Pairing: ROLO (break-up fic)
Recommended Reading: Sadness, Loneliness, Emptiness & Bitterness, Regret, Understanding
Summary: The third and final part of this trilogy. Sometimes things don't work out in the end, and sometimes you have to lean on your support.
Feedback: Yes, Please
Repost: Sure, just let me know where it's going
Relief, Release, Rebirth
Logan woke to the smell of dinner. He hadn't eaten all day, and he was starving.
Without making a real effort not to wake his bedmate he untangled himself from Ororo and her sheets, and lazily got out of bed rubbing his eyes. Leaning forward he snatched his discarded tee from the floor and put it on. He had slept in his sweats from yesterday. Marveling at Ororo's ability to tell time without any clocks in her room for the millionth time, he picked her communicator up off of the nightstand and checked the time. It was a little after seven. Dinner would be ready soon.
Logan had spent all morning and most of the afternoon talking to Ororo. When he had arrived in Remy's room to talk to her she had been asleep. After a few minutes of conversation she was naked in his arms, and he was carrying her to her bedroom in a passionate frenzy not caring who saw. However before Logan could get his pants off Ororo came to her senses and extinguished the heat between them.
In their time together they got all of their feelings in the air. They went through cycles of arguing, sitting in silence, and coming dangerously close to making love, but in the end they made some progress by talking.
"Ro," Logan said scratching his head. After a second of no response he turned around, and shook her.
"Roro, wake up."
"I am up." She fibbed.
"Dinner might be ready soon."
She sat up raking her fingers through her hair, to push it from her face. "I am famished."
"Me too darlin', throw some clothes on and let's go get some grub."
Ororo looked down at herself. She wore sheets and nothing else. Remembering where she left her clothes she covered her mouth silently uttering a curse. Her eyes met Logan's and his eyes asked the question, "What?"
She shook her head dismissively, "Nothing."
Remy had probably spent the day pissed or disappointed with her. He probably thought that she had given in to Logan only to sink down into cycle she was in before. Why wouldn't he? Her clothes were wildly strewn about his bedroom floor.
Ugh. She could feel a headache coming on.
Briefly, Logan and Ororo's eyes met. Her heart boomed and the feelings that she always had for him began to stir. Logan felt something too and quickly looked away. Ororo tossed her feet over the bed side and stood up, holding the sheet to her body. It was unnecessary, she knew, but somehow she felt self-conscious.
She was dressed before he could look back at her, and they headed downstairs. Together.
Uneasy feelings pulsed through Ororo's body as she entered the kitchen behind Logan. She didn't know how much the others knew, but you could never underestimate the speed of gossip in a house full of telepaths, and people with super senses.
Not to mention Rogue's 7th sense enabling her to detect a scandal.
Lifting her head high and forcing herself to take on her usual serene smile she braved the stares of speculation from the occupants of the dinner table.
Jumping up from his seat between Bobby, and Rogue, Hank began to prepare two more plates.
Ororo was relieved that she could sit and pretend to blend in with her teammates, but she could feel Remy's eyes boring into the side of her face. She met his stare, and his eyes were full of questions.
A bittersweet smile answered them all -- they would talk later. Logan had already made himself comfortable, and was reaching across the table for a roll.
She wondered if he was feeling even a fraction of the self-consciousness she was feeling as she listened to the refrigerator humming the melody of tension.
Ororo had excused herself early from dinner. She'd been hungry before, but when Hank placed her plate before her the best she could do was take a few small bites. After pushing the food around on her plate for a while she abruptly stood, thanked Henry, washed her dishes in the sink and left.
Dinner had been unbearably silent. At any given time during it she could feel at least two different pairs of eyes analyzing her.
She understood. This was her family and they all wanted to know what was going on. They knew the situation between her and Logan, and while they were pulling for the relationship, they also hated to see Ororo hurt.
Logan had been oblivious. He scarfed down his dinner in between beer sips, never lifting his eyes to meet any of the others.
Ororo started up the stairs to her bedroom, but stopped on the landing in front of the big picture window.
"Remy, I know what you are thinking."
"Don' matter what I think, chere. And it don't matta what the team thinks neitha." He came up closer to her, and reached for her hand, "C'mon lets take a ride."
The motorcycle ride had been relaxing in a way. Ororo and Remy rode all the way to the city, and had taken a stroll through Times Square.
He seemed to read her mind as he stood beside her watching street performers break dance for spare change, "You need to get away." He tilted his head and leaned close to her, "You young, Stormy. We all young. The difference between most o'the team and you is that you never take a break. You been in this thang foreva and you neva get a chance to enjoy bein' a grown-ass kid."
Ororo closed her eyes and sniffed at his words.
"You know what I mean." They began walking again, "You need to have some fun. Get out and do something without worrying about the X-men. I'll bet you're wearing your communicator right now."
He was right.
"I have responsibilities."
"You Co-leader, Stormy. As much as I hate to say it, Cyclops is capable of running the team on his own."
They crossed the street and walked in the direction of Remy's bike.
"I love being an X-Man, Remy. I am not interested in leaving," She said curtly.
"You scared, Stormy."
Ororo flinched at that, "Do not be ridiculous."
"You said it last night, chere. You don't wanna be alone. In your mind as long as you stay with the team you ain't neva gotta be by yo'self, but you go through hell every time somebody leaves the team."
"And what about you, Remy-"
"I know I got issues, Roro. I don't try to hide them either, but we ain't talking 'bout me. We talking about you. Let me ask you a question."
"Do I have a choice?"
"Non. Even if da Wolverine wants to be in a relationship do you think he would be in hurry?"
"I do not understand."
"Look chere, Logan know you ain't goin' nowhere. I'm telling you, as a man, that it don't matter how good, beautiful, loving and whatever that a woman is; if she gon' always be 'round waiting, ain't no sense in rushin to make her my one an' only."
Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, Ororo turned to him, "So what you are saying is that Logan does not want me because I am too accessible?" She raised an eyebrow.
"It's a little mo' complicated than that, chere, but you got the gist of it."
An exasperated look washed over her face. She shook her head and pursed her lips in distaste, "I hate men."
Remy chuckled and threw his arm over her shoulder as they continued toward his bike, "Aww chere, It ain't all men. Its just us straight ones."
It was a little after three when the two arrived back at the school. Gambit parted with Ororo at the bottom of the stairs with a command for her to sleep on the idea of taking a hiatus from the team.
Drowsily, Ororo climbed the stairs. Once again she was alone with her thoughts. Although the time with her best friend helped lift her spirits she couldn't help, but feel tempted to go to Logan and tell him that she didn't mean anything she'd said in the past two days.
As she neared Rogue's room the door creaked open and a skunk striped head peaked out, "That you, Roro?"
Ororo thought twice about answering but finally answered her friend, "It is."
The door opened all the way to reveal Jean and Kitty too. "Jeez, we thought that swamp rat would never bring ya home. You goin' to bed?"
"That was my plan." Ororo had stopped mid-step a little farther down the hall.
"Mind if we come hang, 'till ya nod off?" Jean and Kitty looked hopeful behind her.
Ororo took a deep breath, "I guess that would be alright."
As the words left her mouth her friends whooped loudly, but then remembered the time, and covered their mouths.
"Git the stuff y'all and c'mon."
Ororo didn't know whether to feel annoyed or amused by the semi-ambush. She shook her head and continued toward her loft as each of the women followed her clutching half-eaten bags of chips and cookies. Rogue held a full six-pack in one hand and another six-pack down to two cans in the other.
Once in her room the women plopped down on Ororo's bed and watched as their leader kicked off her shoes and disappeared into the restroom.
Ororo wasn't sure if she could handle their energy right now. She had tried her best to bring herself up to a better mood as she brushed her teeth. When she was finished she splashed cold water on her face in an effort to clear her mind. No luck. With a deep breath she stepped into the bedroom and observed her friends.
"Lord, its cold in here!" Rogue complained snatching a folded blanket from the foot of Ororo's king sized bed and wrapping up in it.
"Give me some of that," Jean snatched at a corner of the blanket, but she didn't give. "Stingy."
Following Kitty's lead she got under the bed covers and then stuck her tongue out at Rogue.
"Don't mind us, Roro. We're running on sugar." Rogue said when she noticed Ororo watching them from the doorway.
Jean patted the spot between her and Kitty, "Join the party, hon."
Reluctantly Ororo came over and climbed into the bed, immediately feeling two different things as she settled. She felt closed in, but mostly she felt loved. Her friends were nosey, yes, but they had good intentions.
As if reading her thoughts Jean scooted back, prompting Kitty to do the same. Sitting down by the bottom of the bed Rogue reached out offering her a bag of pretzels. Ororo passed, but Jean didn't.
"So, you gonna tell us or we gotta ask?"
"Rogue!" Jean choked over a mouthful of pretzels.
"Well, You know she ain't gonna just come out and tell us!"
"It is alright, Jean. It will come out eventually." Ororo played with her hands in her lap, "Logan and I have decided to end our…"
"Sex sessions," Rogue filled in the blank.
Jean and Kitty shook their heads at her crudeness.
Ororo ignored her, "Our affair…"
The room fell silent when Ororo was finished. Rogue, Jean and Kitty were unaware that they had scooted in close to Ororo during the time it took her to get her story out.
"I'm proud of ya, Sug." Rogue said quietly, placing her gloved hand on Ororo's arm.
"I'm struggling with the fact that a woman like you is having a problem like this."
"Such is the life of an X-Woman, Jean, you're lucky to have Scott."
"If you don't mind me asking, Ro, why did you go from enjoying your -uh- affair to wanting more of him."
Kitty and Rogue tensed at the telepath's question.
Ororo's gaze dropped to her lap as she thought about how to answer her friend.
Sensing the tension Jean gleaned the thoughts of her friends, "Oh," She said quietly. From three different minds she picked up three different instances when she and Logan had "flirted". She remembered them all, but for her it was nothing like they interpreted. The nature of she and Logan's relationship was flirtation, but it was not a prelude to something bigger. It was what it was. She never took it to heart. In her mind Logan was over her, and even though he wasn't WITH Ororo. He was still with Ororo.
She fell onto her back from her position laying on her side with her head propped on her hand, "Ro, I-"
"No need for apologies, Jean. I know that Logan makes more of what could be between the two of you then what actually could be."
There was a long silence as the four women became lost in their thoughts.
"Ya know, I had a friend freshman year who declared herself a lesbian after a bad breakup," The young woman said thoughtfully.
"What are you suggesting, Kitty?" Rogue wiggled her brows at her.
Tension broken, the women fell into fits of laughter.
"No, but seriously. Ororo, how are you holding up?"
"I am fine, you all." She looked down at her hands absently smoothing the wrinkles from the blanket at her waist, "I will be fine."
They traded glances. It was the equivalent of spilling her guts, and that was all they would get from the weather goddess.
The sun was coming up. As graceful as she could Ororo climbed out from the labyrinth of limbs. She slumped Jean onto Kitty's shoulder and Kitty's head dropped with a little thump onto Jean's. Ororo winced.
"That had to hurt."
She jumped.
"Didn't mean to scare ya." Logan said coming over to the edge of the bed. He offered Ororo a hand as she daintily stepped over Rogue, and off of the bed. "Looks like you had a party last night."
"Something like that," She eyed the backpack in her doorway, "You're off again?"
He paused, caught off guard by her perceptiveness, "Yeah, I-"
"Got a lead on something going on somewhere?"
He stared at her, unable to make out her tone.
"Well, good luck with that."
She went to the closet and pulled out a large suitcase, and opened it in the middle of the floor.
"You're packing?"
"I am." She'd snatched a few articles of clothing from the closet and now crouched over the suitcase. She began rolling her clothing to optimize space.
"For what?"
Ororo shot him a venomous look, "Don't sound so incredulous, Wolverine. There are others here with a life outside of the school."
"I know that. You're just not one of them."
She was on him in a flash.
"Why are you here?" Her voice was angry and hushed, "Trying to sleep with me one more time before you hit the road--"
Logan was unsure of how to respond. He was aware that Ororo's emotional state was quite fragile at the moment. For the nth time in the past two days he wished they'd never taken their relationship further then chaste flirtation.
"--or maybe you're here for Jean? You're leaving. So go!"
She was in his face now. Her skin held a slight red tinge, and the air smelled slightly of ozone. He wondered for a moment why he couldn't love her. It certainly wasn't looks because even now -- fresh out of bed, livid and on the verge of tears -- she was beautiful.
"If it is a weepy goodbye you are looking for find Jubilee. I am retaining my last bit of dignity," she wiped angrily with the heel of her hand at a single defiant tear.
"Ro…I," he wasn't speechless, but nothing he could think of seemed right.
"Don't bother." She turned from him and walked toward the bathroom.
"Ro," he followed her. She was bent at the sink splashing cold water on her face, "Ro, there's something you gotta hear...Something I want you to know."
She grabbed a handtowel, and patted her face dry. He watched her in the mirror.
"I ain't worth your tears, Darlin. Ya gotta be one of the last people I ever wanted to hurt. You ain't never been anything but a good friend to me, and there ain't a single soul I'd rather have at my side in battle, nobody else I trust more than you."
Tears started to fall again, but this time she didn't fight them. She kept her eyes closed to avoid looking at him, and herself in the mirror.
"If we can ever get back to the way we were before all this, I'd like that. I don't know about you, but I miss it. Besides, with all the enemies I got I can't afford to lose anymore friends."
A small laugh hiccupped from her and she met his eyes in the mirror.
"I got one more thing to say, and then I'll leave you alone," he turned her around by the shoulder to face him. "I ain't never gonna be more than this, and I know it. I ain't too much of a family man, ain't nothing about me stable or domestic, and I ain't really able to treat a woman like you the way you deserve. I ain't got no past, and I ain't got no future. You got it all though, Ro. In my opinion, don't no man deserve you, but you should at least be with one willing to earn his spot in your bed and by your side. I've blocked that person from coming into your life long enough.
She broke their eye contact and stared at her feet as the last of her tears splashed onto the tile between them.
Wolverine stepped out of the bathroom, and glanced at the bed full of X-Women still sleeping soundly. He shook his head, and left Ororo's loft apartment.
"You just gonna up and leave without saying nuthin' to the man who gave you the advice?" Remy wasn't quite as hurt as his statement implied. Farewells weren't customary at Xavier's. Too often, brief goodbyes turned into long leaves of absences, or last times. These days when someone left they'd call from the road, and leave a message for the entire team. Still, he and Ororo shared a bond like none neither he or she'd ever had with anyone else, and he thought he should have been the first to know.
The driver stepped out of the taxi idling in the curving driveway outside of the mansion. He gave the red-eyed mutant who leaned casually on the rear panel a slightly annoyed but wary side-glance as he lumbered toward Ororo.
"I am sorry, dear friend," She handed the driver one of her two mid-sized suitcases.
"It's awful hard for me to make you feel guilty if you apologize without putting up a fight."
Ororo placed her luggage in the trunk of the cab while Remy stood over her, "I am sorry for not making it more difficult for you, Remy."
Remy feigned outrage, "SEE, you're still doing it!"
Ororo chuckled lightly, and Remy thought that he might miss her laughter the most, but then he thought back over the past few months and realized that this was the first time he'd heard her laugh in a while. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time they'd had a moment like this. Just like the good ol' days in New Orleans, one wise crack after another as they ripped off richie rich folk all over Louisiana.
"Sure'd like to come with you, Stormy."
Ororo did not miss Remy's sudden melancholy mood shift. The driver slammed the trunk lid as she turned to give her best friend a big hug, "My Robin Hood days are over, my friend."
Remy squeezed back but didn't let go just yet, "The instant you get lonely out 'dere you call, Stormy. I mean it!"
"I know, Remy." Ororo's mouth curled into a wide smile. She was lucky to have friends like him, and her girls, and even Wolverine in some ways. She gave him one more tight squeeze before letting go.
The driver was back in the taxi and waited somewhat patiently for her.
"Be good, Remy." She ducked into the backseat and shut the door, but rolled down the window.
"You too, Stormy."
Gambit backed away from the cab and the driver pulled off slowly toward the front gates.
"On second thought," Remy began to jog beside the car cupping his hands to his mouth forming a makeshift bullhorn, "BE BAD, STORMY! BE BAD!"
Ororo laughed a bit wildly now. She leaned out of the window, and called back just as loudly, "DON'T CALL ME STORMY!"
End
A/N: Finally finished. Its difficult to finish a story when the original idea came from a personal experience. By the time I got to this part I was long over the state of mind that I wanted Ororo to be in in the fic. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Why not give a little feedback?