Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. :) Hope you enjoy the story!
Invincible Summer
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer." – Albert Camus
It was all a twist of fate. A simple mistake, a misplaced step on the frozen ground and Sam was left sprawled at the bottom of a rocky mountain face slicked with ice and snow. His leg was bent at an unnatural angle and his head pounded from being scraped against the rough edges of rocks. His throat was raw from yelling for Dean and he was starting to shiver from the cold. The snow and wetness seeped through his jeans and not heavy enough coat, chilling him straight to the bone. All his tired hazel eyes could see was the gray sky, the glimmering white snow and the treacherous rock face he desperately wished he could climb up so he could get warm, so he could find Dean. Splitting up to hunt for abominable snow creatures may not have been the smartest thing to do in the unfamiliar Colorado mountains. Sam shivered again, taking a deep breath and watching it escape his mouth in a puff of smoke. He rubbed his eyes and willed himself not to go to sleep. He was just so cold, he tried to imagine brilliant sunshine and the heat of summer dancing down upon his cold body.
"Think warm thoughts," Sam said to himself. He sighed again and struggled to remember summers past. Summers of heat and sunshine, sweat and blood.
"Think warm thoughts."
Summer 1989, somewhere outside of Tampa, Florida.
6-year old Sam wiped his forehead with his arm and pushed his damp hair out of his face. The little boy looked out on the swampy wilderness wistfully. He was too little to be any real help yet big enough to feel bad that he couldn't dig up the marshy grave with his brother. Sam sat on the edge of the hole as Dean, really too small himself to dig efficiently did his best to do the job his father had given him. John had left about an hour ago, leaving the boys to finish clearing out the unmarked grave. He was in town doing research and was supposed to return any minute to salt and burn the bones. The heat wrapped around the brothers like a heavy blanket, very humid and unforgiving. Sam watched his brother work sweat dripping down his back and across his face.
"Dean?"
"What Sammy?"
"When do you think Daddy will be back?"
"Pretty soon."
"Do you think maybe he'll let us swim in the pool at the hotel?" The little boy asked hopefully. The water would feel incredible in this heat.
"You know he never does, kiddo." Sam's mouth twisted in a frown and his softly whispered reply was "Yeah." Both boys looked up as the roar of the Impala's engine cut through the thick air. The familiar creak of the black Chevy's door echoed across the wilderness and John Winchester yelled, "Boys!"
"Daddy!" Sam answered and jumped up running through the trees. He only went a couple of feet before his father stood before him, a slightly lop-sided smile on his face and both hands behind his back.
"Hey Sammy-boy, where's that brother of yours?"
"He's still digging, Daddy. He wanted to get it done but…" The little boy's voice drifted off. John seemed undeterred though.
"Dean, son come on up here!" As fast as his little legs would carry him, Dean ran to stand in front of his father. With both boys standing in the hot afternoon John finally pulled his hands from behind his back to reveal two bright red sno-cones in Styrofoam cups complete with blue straws. Sam's face instantly lit up and even Dean couldn't hide his excitement at the cold treat. John handed the boys the cups with a smile not unlike his sons' and leaving them to rest and cool off went to finish digging the grave.
Violent shivers cascaded down Sam's back. The cold was invading him like a ruthless army, cutting across his tingling arms and legs. Stinging his face, fingers and toes mercilessly. Silently he repeated his new mantra, "Think warm thoughts."
Summer 2003, Palo Alto, California
Jess's laughter rang in Sam's ears like beautiful music. It was hot outside but pleasant and a picnic in the park had been his best idea in a long time. She was really enjoying it and Sam was glad. It made his next words not quite as nerve racking.
"So Mr. Winchester, whatever in the world made you decide to take me on a picnic?" Jess asked with a smile. He responded with one of his own.
"Well, actually I've been thinking."
"That's never a good thing."
"Seriously." Sam took a deep breath, thinking how to say this.
"Jess, I really care about you a lot and I thought that maybe before school starts again, maybe we could…um, get a place together?" A smile played at her lips and she spoke softly.
"I would love to live with you, Sam." They were the best words the youngest Winchester had ever heard in his life.
Darkness was beginning to fall along the glittering wilderness. Sam was no longer shaking, merely lying motionless, his breathing shallow and his eyes nearly closed. His thoughts fell heavily on his brother. What would he do if he found Sam dead at the bottom of the ravine? A single tear slid down his raw, cold cheek. Heat and fire had been Jessica's death, cold and ice would be his. Wind whistled around the hills and he halfheartedly called out for Dean. The wind stole his voice as the cold was stealing his spirit. He tried once again to fight sleep, he tried once again to think warm thoughts.
Summer 1995, a desert area outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico
Sam shook under the thin blanket wrapped around his shoulders. It was still warm out but he was cold. Cold from being underground in a cave for the last day and a half. Cold from being scared and hungry and thinking he would never see his brother or father again, while the creature holding him captive ate the missing girl he'd been searching for. His arms ached from being tied together and Sam himself ached because when Dean found him, he'd been crying. Thankfully his brother hadn't mentioned it, but that didn't mean he wouldn't. Of all the things to do, he'd been crying like a seven-year-old girl. Dean had cut his arms free and said, "Shh, Sammy it's okay." Afterwards, Dean had decided for some reason that he wanted to camp out and had picked a spot out off the road in a stretch of dry, dusty land. So now here he sat, staring into the fire as Dean rummaged around in the trunk of the Impala.
"I picked some stuff up at a store a few miles back while you were getting cleaned up." Dean came to Sam's side holding a bag of marshmallows, a package of hot dogs and a package of buns.
"I thought you might be hungry, kiddo." Sam smiled slightly. He was a little hungry. After eating, Dean came to sit by his brother.
"So what's wrong Sammy?" Sam shook his head.
"I mean, I know you were missing and stuff but you're okay. Nothing's gonna get you while I'm here, you know that don't you?" Sam nodded.
"It's just…" His voice drifted away.
"What?" Sam looked away back into the fire.
"I feel…bad." Dean looked confused.
"For what?"
"For acting like such a baby." Dean face was still twisted in confusion.
"What?" Sam threw his hands up in exasperation.
"Dean, don't make me say it…please." He added quietly. The brothers sat for a while in the silence. Sam studied the sky, a gentle smile crossing his face, in spite of everything. The sky here was beautiful, it looked like velvet and each star sparkled so clearly. Dean cleared his throat.
"I'm glad you're okay, kid and you didn't act like a baby. Everybody cries sometime."
"When do you ever cry?"
"I've cried plenty of times, Sammy."
"I've never seen it."
"You don't see everything." Sam had no answer for that but he had finally stopped shaking.
Sam was floating. Colors and memories sifted through his mind. Dean, Jess, his father, and his mother all flew past his eyes.
"What would I do without you?"
"Crash and burn…."
"You're my brother and I'd die for you."
"Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?"
"That's what I want you to do!"
"As long as I'm around, nothing bad is going to happen to you."
He couldn't feel the cold anymore, he couldn't feel anything anymore. The snow was falling steadily and Sam was finally going to sleep. He couldn't stay awake any longer.
Sam's eyes fluttered open and for a moment all that greeted him was bright white. For just a fraction of a second he thought he was still out in the snow, then he heard Dean's soft deep voice whisper, "Sammy?" He knew he wouldn't need warm thoughts anymore for the warmest thing in his life was right beside him.
Well...what did you think?