Disclaimer: I don't own Persona 3. Period.
A/N: All right, I thought I'd change the beat up a little bit. I believe in MitsuruXAkihiko all the way, but I just wanted to try something a little different where one of them doesn't feel the same way about the other. Please, let me know what you think. Oh, and while we're on the topic of things that don't make sense, I know that Minato can't start dating Mitsuru until midway through November. This story takes place shortly before the battle with the twelfth shadow and after Shinji's death. I just figured it would fit if she started dating him now, though, and I've only gotten through a few of the scenes with her, but she SURE tends to bring up Akihiko a lot. :-P So sue me. …No, not really.
This is my first Persona 3 fanfic and I really, really, really tried to keep everyone in character. So, please be patient with me and don't flame me.
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Diving Into The Wreck
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She diverted her gaze from her book and opened her mouth to greet the returnee. He didn't notice, and she was cut off by the sharp slam from the door. Her back inattentively straightened, a ringing sensation overwhelming her, and her eyes lowered. Akihiko Sanada stormed past his dorm mates with a grunt. Mitsuru Kirijo speculated that he knew everyone's attention was upon him, but didn't care.
With every stomp on the stairwell, her back was hammered deeper and deeper into the chair until she was fully slouched. She stopped herself from looking, but wondered if everyone else was in the same position. From out of the corner of her eye, Mitsuru noticed that some of the pictures on the wall were shaking with the raucous movements. It finally ended with a slam from his bedroom door, and one final pound against the floor.
He'd be in there all night, Mitsuru figured. It wasn't often that he lost his cool, but when he did, everyone knew it. She knew that this had been coming, too. It had been coming for a long while. And with Shinjiro not even a month in his grave, this was the last thing that could break the boxer down.
Mitsuru shifted uncomfortably in her chair, hands immediately fleeing to the hems of her skirt, and her eyes fell.
"What's up with Senpai?" Yukari jerked a thumb in the direction toward the stairwell.
Mitsuru quickly answered, "He just has a lot on his mind."
There was a brief silence. Curious, the oldest girl glanced up. Everyone was staring at her.
"You…know what's bothering him, Senpai?" Fuuka blinked.
"I…" Mitsuru clutched the black fabric, hair falling across her face. It was no big secret; at least, that's the way she thought everyone saw it. Perhaps it had been obvious all along. "No," she finally said. "I don't know what's bothering him."
No one believed her, and she couldn't find the strength to face them any longer. The heat warmed her cheeks and she knew they were still staring. In this condition, if she had looked back up, she might have caved in.
Akihiko was in love. And it wasn't with Mitsuru.
It had been an ongoing issue for about six months now, right after school started, if she remembered correctly. The Student Council meeting had just finished for the day, and she was filing the rest of the paperwork for Friday's meeting. When the door opened, she expected Chihiro, the Student Council Treasurer, to be standing there. The silly girl had absentmindedly left her book bag behind and Mitsuru was holding onto it until she came back to get it.
But when Akihiko slipped in through the door, she knew it was serious.
"You never come in here," she set down her pen and gently pushed her papers aside. "What's wrong?"
It was his cue to quickly move in, and he crouched down beside her. "Mitsuru," he began, almost in a whisper. "You've been one of my best friends forever, right?"
"Of course."
"We've been through a lot together, a lot of battles, a lot of conflict…Even shared a secret or two."
Her brows furrowed together, "Akihiko, what's this about?"
She hadn't seen him this worked up in a long time. His face was tinted red, and he was sweating. His gaze diverted and he stood up, pacing back and forth. "Look, I can't talk about this with the other guys because they'll laugh at me, and…and I know I can trust you…" his head quickly whirled around to meet her eyes, "…right?"
She couldn't believe she was seeing him act this way. It was a rare sight indeed. "Akihiko…Yes, of course. Now, tell me what's bothering you."
He moved around the table, fingering an indentation found on the corner of one of the desks. Mitsuru watched his chest rise, the sound of air being inhaled through him, and he dropped his head. "…I think I like someone…" he mumbled.
"What?"
"I think I like someone."
For a moment, Mitsuru's world stood still.
Sure, she was a Kirijo, and love with the Kirijos was something different than with normal people. Her love always had to be in the regards of what was best for her father's company. Even her mother and father's marriage had been arranged. Of course, they had grown to love each other after time, and Mitsuru had been brought up to believe that there were different forms of love, like what her parents shared, but, for once in her short-lived life, she wasn't sure.
She told everyone that she was bad in relationships and that she never had time for them. She hated it when anyone asked her out, much less hit on her. She often emphasized the point by dedicating herself to her studies, and taking up the responsibilities of leadership. Marriage…Love…It had all been a thing on the backburner.
She lost the ability to speak. Akihiko was someone special to her—more than she had ever let on to anybody else. Whenever he hurt, she hurt. Whenever he was sad, she was sad. No one ever caught on, least of all, him. But, deep down, she always wondered if he had felt the same. Perhaps it meant that she was a great liar, or maybe this waging war against romance was finally buckling down on top of her. Either way, his words left her shaking. She hoped he couldn't tell.
But now he liked someone. Curiosity got the better of her.
"Who is she?" her tone started to rise.
"A girl," Mitsuru held her breath. "A girl in my homeroom." In his homeroom. Mitsuru was not in his homeroom.
And, as difficult as it was to do, Mitsuru exhaled slowly, a knot in her chest contracting and tightening with each breath. She had to adjust herself. She couldn't lose her composure here—not in front of him. She wanted to force a smile, but it came out twisted. For fear that he would question her reaction, she quickly redirected her attention. Eyes lowering, she struggled to get the next set of words out, "Tell me…all about her…"
Tell me…who I lost to.
Akihiko was getting excited now, something he only did when he was training, or in the ring. "Her name is Noriko. She sits three rows in front of me. She's on the swim team—you might know her sister, Mitsuru. Her sister's in the Student Council, too."
Mitsuru tried her best to keep her voice even, "There are a lot of people who are in Student Council, Akihiko." Nor do I particularly care to know her sister.
"Yeah, but…" he shrugged. "Anyway, last week was the first time she actually spoke to me, and today, she gave me her number."
"A lot of girls do that to you," Mitsuru reminded him. "It happens to me, too, with the men."
Akihiko turned away. "Yeah, I know. And you know that I've never taken any of them seriously, Mitsuru…"
His sudden pause was the opportunity she needed to put her foot in the door, "Well, then why now?"
Her words stopped him, and she saw him jerk, as though someone had thrown on the brakes in his thinking. Akihiko had never had a serious girlfriend. For as long as she had known him, he was unusually not obsessed with the opposite sex, whereas most boys his age were. The very idea of him being attracted to someone—another girl, for that matter, came as a revelation.
"…I don't know."
Mitsuru was trying her best to remain outwardly cool. It surprised her, really. She felt like her insides were being ripped apart. "You don't know? How can you not know why you like a person?"
"Look, you know better than I do that this is all new to me. I can't just be expected to explain myself, Mitsuru. Tell me, how do you explain the heart?" He was pacing back and forth again. "How do you predict who you're going to fall for and at what time?" He stopped and gave her a somber look—one that sobered her up and she regretted being short with him. "Have you…ever felt that way about someone before, Mitsuru?"
She suddenly grunted and tore her eyes away, clutching her arm.
Yes, Akihiko, I have.
Akihiko must had noticed her wince because he broke his intimidating stance and stood up straight.
"S-Sorry. I didn't mean…" He had been reduced to a weak child. Not because he was afraid of Mitsuru, but because he was afraid of his feelings at that particular moment. No matter how she felt about the situation, Mitsuru knew she had to be supportive. Akihiko would never forgive her if she wasn't.
"Don't worry about it."
He released a sigh and shook his head, "I have to worry about it. I know you, too. I know you hate being asked things like that. I know that better than anyone."
Mitsuru wrapped the fingers around her arm tighter, feeling a slight pulse between her skin and the fabric. It had nothing to do with her being offended that Akihiko would ask her such a thing; it had everything to do with everything else. But she didn't know how to tell him that.
No, all she could do was support him. She couldn't risk losing him and his respect for good. She knew Akihiko. He was focused, determined, and nothing could stand in the way of what he wanted.
Not even her.
"So…how can I help you, Akihiko?"
He gave her a quick look, and then fell sheepish. "Well…y-you're a girl, Mitsuru. I was just wondering what you think I should do…"
"You're asking me for advice because I'm a girl, is that it?" At his slow nod, she said, "Being a girl has nothing to do with one's feelings."
A slight smirk painted his face, "Yeah, right. If I make one wrong move, I'll be eating knuckle sandwiches. Women are mysteries, or so the rumors say."
She forced a smile. "I'm no expert on relationships. I suppose…if you want to impress a girl, just be yourself. Be honest with her about your feelings. If you like someone, you should say so. Tell them, 'I like you,'" Mitsuru paused for a moment, not sure what else to say. Mostly, it was because of the nagging in the back of her mind.
You're one to talk, Mitsuru.
She ignored it temporarily. It was surprising that she could talk to him like this about something she had never experienced. Maybe it was because she was charging head on to win an already lost battle. Maybe she thought she could change his mind, or maybe she thought that he would be able to see through the thin veil around her words. But Akihiko wasn't as good at reading as she was, much less reading in between the lines. Then again, searching for grey areas wasn't her specialty, either. "I suppose she likes you, too, if she gave you her number."
That prompted a smile from the other, "So…you think she likes me, huh?" He appeared proud. Mitsuru's face fell. She heard him say, "Thank you, Mitsuru. You've really helped me out, you know." There was the sound of footsteps and then an opening door. He was ready to move out, but said, "You know, for not being experienced, you know what you're talking about. You should tell someone you like that very same thing someday, Mitsuru."
The door shut behind him, the sound of the sliding door resounding in her ears. She looked up into the empty room and said, "I thought I just did."
Things changed after that.
There would be days that Akihiko would be late coming home, or would skip school. He could often be seen with a bundle of DVDs under one arm, or a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He was constantly flipping through the coupon books, tearing out pages for expensive restaurants. Akihiko couldn't cook, so he was obviously using them to take Noriko out with. She watched his savings slowly dwindle away.
It went on like that for two months. She couldn't believe she was seeing him like this. It was as though he had transformed into an entirely different person. He had never been so determined outside of the boxing ring, save Tartarus. Akihiko was not romantic. She wondered if he even knew how to be.
"Have you asked her out, yet?" she asked him one day.
He turned his head away. "I…I can't bring myself to. It's too embarrassing." But then he would smile, and say, "I'm sure she knows, though. She has to. Now's just not the right time."
"What would one call that?" Mitsuru asked, almost bitterly. "You're not dating, but you're more than friends."
He just shrugged and looked out the window. Then, he turned and left the room to call Noriko. It happened like that several times. And as he'd walk out the door, Mitsuru found herself staring longingly after him, depression filling her head. Sometimes, he wouldn't come home in the late evenings, either, and that made Mitsuru mad. They'd go to Tartarus without him, which would prompt her to act more aggressively in battle, or she'd overwhelm herself with misery and lay in her room all night. How dare that girl interfere with their mission. How dare that girl interfere with what made him happy.
How dare she interfere with Mitsuru's feelings.
The senior wasn't a jealous or vile woman. Often times, when things didn't go her way, she'd let them roll off her back, or never let them show if it really did bother her. Jealousy was never an issue in her life. It never took precedence over what really mattered to her. But Mitsuru didn't like losing, either, especially if it was to some hotshot on the swimming team, whom she and Akihiko had never met in their lives. She had been friends with Akihiko the longest, and had cared about him the most. What right did this woman have to step in and take him away?
So many unanswered questions rang through Mitsuru's head. Those first two months were, indeed, the most painful.
Then, the following month, Akihiko came in, looking as though he had lost his very first boxing match. He sluggishly came into the dorm, and let his bag and coat fall from his hands, caring not where they lay. It was right after school, and Mitsuru was the first and only one home, aside from Koromaru, who was curled up, asleep, in the corner. She was in the recliner, reading a magazine. Akihiko stood above the couch, gazing at it with sad eyes, and fell on top of it with a rather large thud. He lay there that way for quite some time, Mitsuru watching him out of the corner of her eye with worry.
"Akihiko…?"
He said nothing. His face was kissing the leather of the couch. She stood up.
"Akihiko, what's the matter?"
Again, he said nothing.
Whatever it was that had made him so down had to have been awful. There were only a handful of things that Mitsuru could name that would make him like this.
"Let me have three guesses," she said, crossing her arms. "You either lost a match today, Shinjiro snapped at you again, or something happened with Noriko."
He moaned loudly at that last part, and Mitsuru's face darkened. Shaking her head, she turned around to face the back wall.
I should've known. I should've known that she'd hurt him like this.
"She…won't talk to me…" he said after a moment, his voice cracking.
Spinning around, Mitsuru stared down at him. "What do you mean?"
Still lying in the same position, Akihiko said, "I tried to talk to her during lunch today, but she was with her friends and wouldn't acknowledge me. I sent a text message to her before class ended and she never replied. Then, after school, I saw her leave with another guy."
"Did you recognize him?"
"Yeah. It was a guy from the Track Team."
Mitsuru said nothing, but Akihiko eventually pulled himself into a sitting position, his face red and his hair mattered. He was only wearing one of his usual trademark gloves, and his eyes were unfocused. There were splotches of dirt on his pants and shoes. Mitsuru figured that he had taken the back trail home. It was quicker, but guaranteed to leave one messy and sore from the hike.
He must've been in a real hurry to get home. That's why he's here before the others.
Seeing him this way made Mitsuru want to find Noriko herself and give her a well known "execution." Don't you know what a good man you've got there? Don't you know how much I wish he cared that same way for me?
"So, Mitsuru, what did I do wrong?"
She was almost taken aback by hearing him ask such a question. He sounded so pitiful and childlike. Surely he wasn't blaming himself, was he? "W-What?"
"I had to have done something," he told her, hurriedly. "Why else wouldn't she be talking to me? And now she's with some other guy?"
"Akihiko, you didn't do anythi—"
"Mitsuru, what should I do?" He stared up at her with such eyes, it made her cringe. Akihiko never pleaded, never begged, and, yet, he was ready to give anything he had to have Noriko back. It made Mitsuru ill to see him that way.
"…It sounds like she's playing with your mind, Akihiko," she answered, firmly.
"Yeah, but, there's got to be some reason behind it. I mean, just the other day, we went to the movies, and she reached over and held my hand. Sometimes, I could see her staring at me out of the corner of my eye." Once he got going, he couldn't stop, "And she'll flirt with me and say things to me, like how she's happy that she met me, and—"
Mitsuru couldn't stand to hear anymore, "But you two never dated?"
He sighed, his fingers clawing at his pants. "No, we never brought it up."
"Did you ever kiss her, Akihiko?"
He stiffened, and Mitsuru could feel her heart breaking.
"I-I didn't kiss her. One night, we were at her place, watching a movie, and she leaned in really close to my face. I turned and…and…wham!"
"Wham?"
"I wasn't expecting it, but she grabbed me and kissed me."
"Did you kiss her back?"
"I was so taken aback, I didn't do anything."
"But you didn't push her off of you?"
Akihiko stared at her for a moment, as though to choose his words wisely. Mitsuru wasn't sure why that would be the case. The two of them never hid secrets from each other.
"…No," he finally said.
There was one more thing Mitsuru had to know. It wasn't relevant to the situation at hand, but she felt that if she didn't ask it, she would go insane.
"Have you two ever…done anything with each other?" As soon as she asked it, her face flushed and she turned away, embarrassed.
It also took Akihiko a moment to comprehend what she had just asked, and he blinked several times in shock.
"What? No! Mitsuru, you should know me by now! I've only known her for a couple of months. I'm not going to take someone to bed like that, especially if we aren't officially dating, yet!"
Though she felt foolish for asking it, Mitsuru inwardly could feel the relief wash over her. She didn't know what she would've done if he had said "yes."
"What's this have to do with Noriko, anyway?" he asked, impatiently. "Why is she treating me this way?"
Still stunned from the previous remark, she absentmindedly answered, "Perhaps she's testing you, Akihiko."
His brows lifted. "Testing me?"
"Maybe to see how loyal you are. What kind of woman is she? Is she shy or outgoing? Do you see her with a lot of boys?"
"Well…"Akihiko's eyes darted from side to side. "She's a tomboy, so, yeah, I see her with a lot of guys. Most of the people on the team are guys. I've never seen her do anything with them, though. And…she's very outgoing. She has a lot of friends."
Mitsuru didn't know what to say. And she didn't want to be supportive of a situation she didn't like, either. But she hated seeing Akihiko like this, too. Any advice she gave him now could make or break him.
"Give it some time, Akihiko. If she cares, she'll come back."
He seemed to cling to their words like the gospel. Any ray of hope was necessary in order to keep Akihiko Sanada afloat.
But it went on that way for a month and a half. Mituru wasn't sure which had been worse, when the two had been "going out," or now, watching Akihiko crumble to pieces. She wanted for it so bad to be a fleeting fancy that the older boy would somehow pull out of, but all of their conversations revolved around her and no one else.
During their vacation to Yakushima, Akihiko spent most of his time texting Noriko, or trying to call her.
"At least she's making small talk," he told Mitsuru, slight optimism residing in his voice.
While everyone else was out on the beach or in the water splashing each other, he would sit on the towel under the umbrella, phone opened and his fingers rapidly moving over the keypad.
"If you don't put that phone away," she threatened, "I'm going to take it from you and toss it into the ocean!"
He looked at her, skeptically. "Come on, Mitsuru. I know you wouldn't do that."
Her eyes narrowed, dangerously. "Don't test my patience, Akihiko."
He quickly put the phone away. But within fifteen minutes, it would be back in sight.
The battles in Tartarus were the worst, and Akihiko's attention was almost always diverted.
Once, a Shadow swung at him, and Mitsuru found herself giving a leap of faith in his direction. The Shadow caught the side of her leg, ripping her skirt and her thigh. She bit her tongue at the pain, but Akihiko was saved, and that was all she cared about. She fell down on top of him, and he clutched her shoulders. Her rapier skittered some feet away.
Minato and Junpei stepped into the front line while Akihiko scrutinized her wound, applying medical powders to it and murmuring apologizes. Her wound wasn't as bad as it looked, but it angered her how he would subconsciously bring Noriko into their battles.
After that, Mitsuru instructed the team to take a few nights away from Tartarus.
"Awwww," Junpei complained, kicking at the ground. "But, Senpai, why? Tartarus is the only place where I can take my aggression out!"
"It's the only place you can play, hero, Junpei," Yukari teased.
Akihiko couldn't understand it, either.
"Mitsuru, I said I was sorry. You shouldn't punish the team because of me. There's a Full Moon coming up! If we don't train…"
She whirled around on him, a white bandage across her leg. "Then you need to get your priorities straight, Akihiko."
That following month, it was no surprise to find that Noriko and Akihiko were back together. By that time, they had also reacquired the erstwhile member of SEES, who was the only other person Mitsuru felt she could talk to about Akihiko's problems.
"He's as bad as Junpei," Shinjiro sat straddled across the table chair. He looked up at Mitsuru. "I can't believe those morons fell for a girl."
Mitsuru forced a smile. Without even knowing it, Shinjiro could make her feel better.
"Well," he said, "I don't wanna hear about it. Aki always told me he wouldn't get involved. Anything else is all on him."
Mitsuru failed to mention that she, too, had fallen for a man.
Akihiko was upbeat again, buying flowers for Noriko, back to stuffing DVDs under his arm to take to her house, and his fights at Tartarus were vigorous, and he would be the one pushing the team forward, despite how tired everyone else was. Mitsuru could not compete with the way that Noriko made him feel, and it made the Kirijo woman envious.
She has Akihiko on a string and can either bring him up or push him down.
Mitsuru could control herself most of the time, but there would be rare occasions when she felt spiteful, and would contemplate about firing Noriko's sister from her position in the Student Council. Then she immediately felt ashamed.
That girl has no influence on her sister's attitude. How can you even think that way, Mitsuru?
In order to ease the pain, she began to ask their leader, Minato, out. Mitsuru wasn't sure what she was trying to gain, or who she was trying to make jealous, but the thought occurred to her one day after school. She rushed to catch up with the boy, and grabbed him by the arm. He turned around, confused.
"W-Would you go somewhere with me?" she blurted out.
Mitsuru was never good at anything that had to do with relationships.
She had no idea how she was going to get out of this one, either. How would she explain that she suddenly had taken up an interest in him? No, no, she couldn't do that. She needed an excuse, and quickly.
So she took him to the ramen shop.
"I-I've never eaten here before," she confessed. "But I've passed by it with Akihiko. What's the etiquette here, Arisato?"
In all truth, she hated fast food. It was greasy and put weight on her. But Minato didn't seem to catch on. He ate with her and carried on with conversation.
She asked him out again the next day, too. They went to the octopus stand and chatted for a while.
"I passed by here with Akihiko and wanted to try out this place." Then, she blurted out, "Doesn't it seem like he's changed to you?"
Minato stared at her. "Well…he does go out more. And his moods often change. But I figured it was just some big boxing match coming up. Why do you ask?"
She looked away and muttered something incoherent.
Yukari saw the two of them together, evidently, and confronted Minato that night.
"We've just been hanging out and talking is all," he shrugged.
Akihiko, who was surprisingly there, was wide-eyed and looked from Minato to Mitsuru. At the very thought of Mitsuru going out with someone, she wondered what could possibly be going through the boxer's mind.
But all he said was, "I'm surprised you're still alive!" And then he laughed.
Mitsuru didn't think it was funny. But, nevertheless, she went out with Minato again that next day. They hung out in the library, and Minato was flipping through the books he had just checked out.
"When I'm with Akihiko," she began, "it feels strange. He brings me up and makes me feel like I can pick up from where my father left off."
Minato shrugged. "Maybe you're in love."
A quick blush crossed her face, but she skillfully hid it with her hair. "N-No, that's not it," she denied. "He's a friend—more like a teammate—and that's the extent of our relationship, er, it. I've known him for a long time."
"Well…do you have a boyfriend?"
She was instantly offended. "Of course not! I don't have time for a boyfriend, what with what's going on with school, and SEES, and—"
The blue haired boy began to chuckle and Mitsuru stopped talking.
"What's so funny?"
"You," he said. "I don't think you've noticed, but every time we hang out, you bring up Akihiko-Senpai."
She knew then what was crossing his mind and she jumped up and grabbed her things. She never asked Minato out again after that.
Two nights before October the fourth, Noriko started to avoid Akihiko again. He was moping about, trying to text her, call her, and Shinjiro said he even saw the boxer hanging around at the mall, just waiting for her to show up.
"Is it a routine thing for her to go to the mall?" he asked Mitsuru.
She fidgeted. "They used to go there a lot. He probably figures that if he hangs out there long enough, she'll show up and he can talk to her." Then a thought crossed her mind, "You haven't told him that you know about her, have you?"
Shinjiro scoffed at her. "Why would I waste my time with that?"
She smiled. She knew she could trust Shinjiro. "Thank you."
He grunted.
On the third, the group went to Tartarus, and, for some reason, Shinjiro insisted that he be taken along. Akihiko, Mitsuru, and Minato agreed, and hit the one-hundred and thirty-second floor. Akihiko was in no condition to fight, but continued into battle anyway. Often times, he would bring up the rear, a sad look on his face, and his performance in battle dropped drastically. During one encounter with a Shadow, Minato was almost hurt because of a reckless move Akihiko made.
Swinging his axe, Shinjiro finished the battle and shoved the boxer up against the wall.
"What are ya doin'!?" Shinjiro spat. "Pay attention!"
Struggling to get out of his friend's grasp, Akihiko gaped and twisted his arm a few times. Pushing him against the wall again, Shinjiro finally let him go and turned his back to the boxer.
"If yer just gonna screw around, then go home, Aki."
Akihiko lowered his eyes, and Mitsuru unfastened her gaze from him and turned to Shinjiro. It made perfect sense why he had wanted to come along, now. He, too, was worried about his friend.
…Even if he wouldn't show it.
Things went from bad to worse when Shinjiro died the following night. The team had lost an ally, and Mitsuru had lost a great friend. Now she was left all alone to fight Akihiko's battle. She didn't see Akihiko all that day, and it worried her tremendously. What with Noriko's breakup and Shinjiro's death, she didn't know what the boxer was capable of. Would he kill himself? Would he run away and never come back?
She couldn't bear to think that way.
She called a meeting for that night, but went out looking for Akihiko herself. Unsurprisingly, she found him in the auditorium, clinging to the table from Shinjiro's wake. She stood behind him, listening to him sob, and cry out for his friend. At the end of his sobs, he whispered Noriko's name.
Mitsuru wanted to cry, too.
Cry for Shinjiro, cry for Akihiko and his pain, and cry for herself, knowing that she would never be able to have him.
A couple of weeks later, Akihiko finally sobered up and came to talk to her, though his mood was beyond melancholy.
"I think she's seeing someone else," he announced.
"That's what you've been saying for a while," Mitsuru said.
"No," he shook his head. "I mean for real. We actually got to hang out a few days ago."
At this, Mitsuru made a face that read, "And you didn't tell me?"
Akihiko pressed on, "We went to have lunch together, and she kept texting someone. When I asked her who it was, she told me that it was her ex-boyfriend from Central Tokyo."
"And?"
"Well, every time I've seen her in the last week or so, she's been texting him…or talking to him."
"That could mean anything."
Akihiko sighed and stood up from his position on the couch. He walked in a circle around the table. "I wish it did. There have been rumors that she's moving to Central Tokyo."
Deep down, Mitsuru could feel herself wanting to jump up and dance—a trait she would never be caught dead doing.
"Have you…" she chose her words wisely, "…asked her about it yet?"
"No. But…" he appeared thoughtful. "What do you think she would say if…if I offered to move there with her?"
All at once, the airflow in Mitsuru's chest stopped, and she jumped to her feet. "What?"
He turned to stare calmly at her. "Well…yeah."
"And just…leave SEES behind? Just…transfer to a different school?"
Just…leave me behind?
Akihiko didn't seem to catch the problem in this. He just shrugged. "You guys would be fine without me. After all, you've got Fuuka and Minato here. And Yukari and Junpei are remarkable assets to the team. And, of course, there's Koromaru and Aigis. And even Ken's not bad, either."
"Don't be incompetent, Akihiko!" Mitsuru swung her arm to her side, as though slicing through air. "Now you're just making up excuses to leave the team!" She knew never to stand against Akihiko when he had his mind set on something, but this was just too much. She wouldn't stand for it. "I refuse to let you."
"Mitsuru, I care about her, and if I can make this relationship work—"
"You're not even dating her, Akihiko!" She grabbed his arm, "I won't let you leave the team. Do you hear me?"
Evidently, Akihiko didn't agree. He wrenched himself free from her, reached over the couch to grab his coat, and stormed out the door, slamming the door fiercely behind him. Mitsuru stood there, motionless, and cringed when the sound reverberated against her.
He would do whatever he wanted, and she couldn't stop him.
Because he didn't love her.
They didn't go to Tartarus at all that week, mostly because Mitsuru wasn't up to it. And because Akihiko didn't come home at all during that time, either. Everyone but Mitsuru went looking for him. Sometimes, she was afraid that he had up and left with Noriko to Central Tokyo. It would be just like him to leave without saying goodbye at this point. She didn't see him at school, either, but she had her hands full with the Student Council, so she couldn't be sure.
She didn't go looking for him because she knew what ailed him. The others had no clue that he was heartbroken, and, to some degree, so was Mitsuru. If he was going to come back, he'd come back.
After a week had passed, everyone went to Tartarus. Mitsuru wasn't at her best in the fights, but she refused to let that get the best of her. If Akihiko wanted to quit the team, then so be it. But, at night, when the team would decide to sleep early, she'd stand by his door, wondering if he was inside. Wondering if he had decided to come home yet.
Wondering…if he ever would come home.
Another week passed and Mitsuru began to lose hope. Slowly, their trips dwindled in going to Tartarus, and the others were surely beginning to notice.
"Aw, come on, Senpai!" Junpei pleaded. "Let's just go tonight!"
"I said, 'no,' Iori. Now go and study."
He scowled. "Then why don't you let us go, huh?"
"Out of the question. Unless either Akihiko or I accompany you, you may not go alone."
"Senpai," Fuuka quietly intervened. Mitsuru turned in her direction. "We haven't been to Tartarus in four days. Perhaps it would be a good idea if we did some training to get our minds off of Akihiko-Senpai."
The others began to chime in and Mitsuru rolled her eyes.
So they went to Tartarus.
That night, Mitsuru passed by Akihiko's door and slowly turned the knob, just as she often did for the past two weeks. She expected another empty bed, but was astonished to find a large bump sprawled out across the bed and a snoring figure.
She hid her smile and closed the door.
Mitsuru would apologize in the morning.
When everyone came down for breakfast, Akihiko was the first at the table, munching on cereal and reading the paper. Everyone but Mitsuru was taken aback, and immediately began to pop him with questions. He didn't give many responses, and soon was on his way to school.
She cursed herself for not being able to find the courage to talk to him in the morning, and so forced herself to see him after school. It was a day that Student Council met, but she had other priorities on her mind. She asked Hidetoshi to take over for that day. He was confused and protested, but she would hear none of it.
"I have something very important to take care of after school," she said.
"More important than Student Council?"
She was silent a moment, her thoughts circulating and coming to one conclusion.
Yes. Yes. Much more important than Student Council. Much more important than anything else at that moment.
"Yes," she finally said.
Mitsuru waited for him outside the boxing ring after his training was over. She slowly slid in through the door and watched the last minute of his match. He was so dedicated, and seemed so proud of his ability to fight. She stood there, holding her hands in front of her, feeling slightly awkward about being there in the first place.
She had no idea how he was going to react to her.
Finally, after he was done with his training, he climbed over the ring, pulled out his mouth guard, and started for the door. That's when he noticed her tiny form emerge from the shadows, and he stared at her, dumbly.
"I…wanted to apologize," she hastily began. He turned away from her and pulled the guard from his head. Then, he unraveled the gloves around his hands. She had a sinking feeling that he was trying to ignore her. Still, she pressed, "I shouldn't have overreacted the way I did the other day."
He moved away from her, and squatted down toward the floor, putting his gear into his bag. She couldn't help but notice the sweat trailing down his neck, and along the curves of his biceps. Immediately blushing, Mitsuru held a balled hand to her mouth, turned away, and pretended to cough.
"Sorry, I have to get changed," he announced, picking up his bag and moving past her. "Can you wait for me outside?" He left her standing alone in the room, and she looked after him.
"At least he asked me to wait for him," she mumbled, sighing.
She waited several minutes outside in the hall, running words and sentences over and over in her mind about what she wanted to say to him. There were many things, but only a select few were the right things. One bad move and he would leave again. This time, maybe for good.
"Thanks for waiting," Akihiko materialized from the door behind her, his coat slung over his shoulder. "Now, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Akihiko," Mitsuru began, inwardly happy that he hadn't run off on her while she was waiting for him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to run off like that. I never wanted that. It's just, when I think of you and her and what she's doing to our team—"
Akihiko's stance became intimidating as he towered over her, "So, basically what you're saying is that it's all for the good of the team."
She gaped for a moment, stuttering. She had to find the right thing to say.
"N-No, that's not what I meant. I mean, I hate to see what she's doing to you, Akihiko. We all do."
"So, everyone else knows about Noriko, then? Even after I asked you not to tell?" Akihiko was getting angry.
Mitsuru, if you want to live to see another day, you'd better find a better way to say this.
"No, they don't know about her. But you've been gone for two weeks. Of course they'd notice that something was wrong and worry about you. And…" she glanced down toward the floor, "…I was, too."
Akihiko snorted, and she meekly looked back up. He was no longer staring at her, but at the wall across from them.
"Where did you stay while you were gone?" she asked, changing the topic as quickly as possible.
"I had a buddy who let me stay with him for a couple of weeks."
"Oh…"
And that was that. If he didn't want her to know, he wouldn't tell her.
"I asked her if she wanted me to come with her and she told me no," he said after a while. "I asked her why she was going, and she told me that her dad lives back there. She lives here with her mom, and she hasn't seen her dad in a few years."
"You didn't bring up her ex?"
"No."
"Why not?"
He shook his head, sadly. "I don't know." Then, his hand clenched his coat tighter. "She's leaving today, though. I'm gonna try and stop her."
Oh…please don't, Akihiko…Please…
"You really think she'll change her mind?"
"…I'm not sure anymore. What do you think, Mitsuru?"
"The same thing I've always thought."
"And what's that?"
"That she's just using you."
He turned on his heel and left her.
Mitsuru wasn't sure if she'd see him again after that. She cursed herself for saying such a thing. Though it was the truth, she never wanted him to walk out on her again.
"Senpai?"
Mitsuru was jerked out of her thoughts and brought her attention to the waiting crowd before her. Everyone was watching her.
That's right. I told Akihiko that earlier today. And…Akihiko just came in, and slammed the door. He's upstairs in his room right now. I suppose that means that Noriko's already left.
"Are you sure you don't know what's bothering Akihiko-Senpai?" Fuuka asked, timidly.
Everyone was concerned for Akihiko. Mitsuru was concerned for Akihiko.
She said nothing. She wanted to. She felt the words trying to escape from her—bounce off her very tongue and out into the open. But if she started, she'd never be able to stop. It just wasn't fair.
Sure, Noriko was gone, but who knew how long Akihiko would be like this? Would he ever recover? Would he ever want to fall in love again?
That woman destroyed him, Mitsuru thought, scornfully, to herself. I damn her, wherever she is.
"You know," Minato broke the silence, smiling. "For someone who brought you up, I think it's about time to return the favor." His grin widening, he added, "Right, Mitsuru-Senpai?"
Mitsuru's eyes widened and she gasped at his words. Like a switch being triggered, her mind reeled in reverse.
That Minato. He remembers our conversations from so long ago.
Suddenly sharing his same smile, Mitsuru stood up. "You're right, Arisato. Everyone, wait right here, please." She quickly turned and left.
Each step up the stairwell was like another weight becoming attached to her legs. What was she going to say to him? What could she say to him? It was wonderful news that Noriko was finally gone, and, maybe, Mitsuru could keep it that way. But what about Akihiko? Certainly he did not feel the same way. Though she had been his first love, Akihiko loved greatly, and loved Noriko just as great. It wasn't just a fleeting fancy, as Mitsuru had hoped it to be.
Shinjiro, please, give me the strength to help him through his. He needs his friends more than ever.
Inwardly, she could almost hear the man snort and say, "Told you that girls were nothin' but trouble."
She smiled and whispered, "I knew you'd understand."
Watching the door before her swing open, she could see the crumbled form of Akihiko Sanada, curled on his bed. She couldn't tell if he was crying because he wasn't making any noise, and if he knew that she was there, he didn't let on.
Mitsuru slowly closed the door and stepped back against it, watching him. His back was to her, and he lay motionless, as though asleep. She took a deep breath, almost visually seeing him kicking her out of his room for not being supportive. She doubted that he had forgiven her for that yet.
She padded over to his bedside and seated herself next to him. His body moved slightly from the movement on the mattress, but otherwise, he did nothing.
Certainly he knew someone was there, and more than certainly, she knew that he knew it was her. But if he was going to order her out, it would've been before she had made it across his room. Hesitantly reaching a shaky hand out, Mitsuru placed it in Akihiko's platinum hair and let her fingers settle there for a moment.
Still, he said nothing.
Feeling somewhat awkward at this point, Mitsuru began to comb her fingers through his hair, all the while of trying to suppress her nervousness. She was afraid that he would scream at her. She was afraid that he would order her out. But, most of all, she was afraid of the feeling deep inside her, especially as close as she was to him as this, and able to touch him like she was.
For a moment, she was happy that he couldn't see her. He would laugh if he saw the blush coloring her cheeks.
"She's gone…isn't she?" she whispered, almost too low for him to hear. She continued raking her hands through his locks. "Akihiko, I'm sorry."
"No, you're not," he mumbled back. "You wanted her gone."
Closing her eyes and stopping her fingers for a moment, she cried out, "Yes! Yes, I did!" The two of them said nothing for a while, and the silence began to eat away at Mitsuru, so she started to massage Akihiko's head again. "I…I couldn't stand to see what she was doing to you, Akihiko. I've never seen you so broken except for when Shinjiro died."
"Guess I was pretty stupid then, huh?" Akihiko's laugh was dry. "She went back to her ex-boyfriend."
"Akihiko, you're not stupid," she assured. "She was your first love, and what experience do you have? Any?" Mitsuru found herself smiling. "Everyone was worried about you. Even Shinjiro."
She felt the boxer tense up. "You…told him?"
"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I? He was your best friend." He sighed. "Akihiko, you remember that night he demanded that he join us in Tartarus?" She didn't give him the chance to respond before she said, "He did it because he wanted to keep a close eye on you. He knew you were suffering. He wanted to keep you safe."
She stopped to play with a lock of his hair, twirling it in her fingers.
"So…she used me, huh?"
"It's her loss," Mitsuru said. "She wasn't bright enough to see what a great man you are, Akihiko. Everyone else can see that." Then, she felt the need to go on, though she wasn't sure what compelled her. "I…I know that the pain is still fresh with Noriko, Akihiko, but…but, if after you've healed and want to try again, I want you to know…" She swallowed hard, the lump in her throat growing bigger and bigger. "I want you to know that…" he appeared waiting for her to continue. "…To know that…I would like to be by your side…" She closed her eyes, body trembling, "Always."
There, she breathed, I said it.
He said nothing, and she feared that she had said the wrong thing.
But then he reached up with one hand and took the hand stroking his hair. And he held it, tightly.