Safe Haven

by Kate04

"Love is sanctuary,

a safe haven and place to rest."

― Theodore Volgoff, The Backpack

A/N: This is an add-on to 5x14 "Heart Failure". It contains spoilers, so if you haven't watched the episode yet, you might get spoiled.

No beta was harmed in the process of getting this story to you, so all mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: Not my sandbox, not my toys. I'm just a visitor.

The water was almost too hot, but it was exactly what she needed. Slowly lowering herself into it, giving her body time to get used to the heat, she sighed happily when her muscles began to warm up. She leaned back, her head resting on a rolled up towel, and closed her eyes. Her cheek throbbed uncomfortably, her back ached, and the headache that had started a little while after the incident had been getting worse ever since.

It had been a long day, and Sharon felt every single minute of it. Actually, it had not just been the last day. The last several months had been exhausting with the search for Taylor's replacement, and it annoyed her that she had to seriously consider competing for that position, even though she was more than happy with her current job. It was exactly where she had always wanted to be – right in the middle of solving crimes and serving her community. To step up into an almost exclusively administrative position held no interest for her. She had played the politics game for most of her career, and she had been happy to leave that behind with her latest transfer. If it were not for Winnie Davis, who quite clearly had a problem with Major Crimes in general and her specifically, she would have withdrawn her name long ago, but the last several days had shown once again that she might have little choice in the matter.

Deputy Chief Davis had been after them about that active shooter training for weeks, and while Sharon absolutely agreed that it was necessary and important, she did not appreciate the other woman's attitude towards her and her team. It was not new to her that other divisions eyed Major Crimes' special status with a little scepticism, and that there were always questions about the necessity for this status, or even the entire division. She had once asked these questions herself, and the irony of that was definitely not lost on her. In fact, Andy had teased her about that just the other day.

The problem was that it left her with very few options. From what she could tell, Davis was the only person currently being considered, who actually wanted the job. She, Deputy Chief Howard, and Commander Mason were very happy where they were, and the only reason they were part of that race was that they did not want Davis to have the job. Sharon was still hoping for Fritz to follow in Chief Taylor's footsteps, because she thought him to be fair and able to be above all the petty interdepartmental bickering. If only he weren't a former FBI agent.

Taking a deep breath, Sharon tried to quiet her mind. She was at home now, and she had a few precious hours to be away from politics and responsibility. The months since Andy's heart attack had made her realize how valuable their time together was, and it had reminded her to make more of an effort to be truly present in every moment they shared. That meant working on herself to leave work in the office as much as possible. She had been good at that once, when her children were little, but ever since they left the house, the job had started creeping into her home more and more. Fostering a material witness and then getting involved with a co-worker did little to help maintain that barrier. It was a process, and it was not always successful, but they were both trying.

Thinking about Andy made her smile. He had been especially attentive ever since that unfortunate incident in the interview room. He always was, but seeing her get hurt had shaken him a little bit, and taking care of her helped him keep his temper under control. She had been happy to let him, allowing his sweet words and kind touch to calm her own nerves before they had both gone back to wrap up the case.

When the man in question entered the bathroom a moment later, Sharon's smile grew, but her eyes remained closed. She heard him rummage through the medicine cabinet before he approached the tub and knelt next to it. His fingers caressed her cheek, gently tugging a few strands of hair behind her ear, and she finally met his gaze. He had removed his jacket and tie, and his sleeves were rolled up. Turning her head slightly, she kissed the palm of his hand, gazing up into his dark eyes. He frowned at the side of her face, no doubt studying her bruised cheek, before he reached behind her to grab a glass filled with water that he must have placed on the rim of the tub when he came over. His other hand opened to reveal two small pills.

"I figured your head must be killing you by now," he offered as an explanation, and she marvelled once again at how well he knew her. Taking the offered pills and the glass of water from him, she swallowed them quickly and drained the glass. Andy relieved her of it again and placed it on the floor next to him, before he took hold of one of her hands, his thumb stroking its back.

"Do you want to join me?" Sharon asked after studying their entwined hands for a while.

"You sure? I don't mind giving you a little time alone."

His reply made her grin at him. She knew that he would absolutely mind. He was worried about her and would prefer to keep an eye on her at all times. It had been obvious earlier at work, and it was a feeling she was more than familiar with from dealing with all of his recent health issues. Of course he would give her space if she asked for it, but that was not what she wanted, anyway.

"Yes, I'm sure. I want to be close to you, and I doubt your knees will appreciate it if you keep kneeling there."

There was a twinkle in her eyes, and she gently tugged on his hand to get him to move. When he finally did, it was with a groan and a wince, as he pushed himself to his feet, joints popping audibly. She bit her lips to keep from laughing, knowing that he would fail to see the humor. His aging body was not his favorite topic at the moment.

He made quick work of getting out of his clothes, folding them neatly and putting them on the vanity. Sharon watched with a dreamy expression, longing to run her hands along his broad shoulders and down his back, to feel his warm skin and inhale the scent she loved so much.

When he was finally ready to join her, she scooted as far towards the foot end of the tub as she could and waited until he had settled behind her, one leg on either side of her. He drew her back to rest against his chest, wrapping his arms around her and placing his chin on her right shoulder.

"Hmm, this is nice," he mumbled into her ear, placing a kiss against her cheek.

With a happy sigh, she relaxed into his embrace, placing her hands over his where they rested on her stomach.

"How are you feeling?" he asked after they had been enjoying each other's company in silence for a while.

"Better," was her instant reply, but at his doubtful grunt she added, "It hurts." She hated that she sounded so pitiful, but being tugged even closer to the strong body behind her made her feel a little better about it. Andy was the one person in her life with whom she could be completely herself, completely unguarded. It was not something she had experienced a lot before he had come into her life, and she cherished it more than she would ever be able to express.

Sharon waited for him to say more, to finally let her hear everything that he had been holding back since she had gotten hurt. It was simmering below the surface and had been for hours. He hid it well, but it was still obvious to her. It was more than his need to punch Mr. Day for hurting her. She knew how much it had cost him not to do that, but she was grateful he had listened to her and backed off. Later, when they had been in the break room to get ice for her face, he had apologized for losing control like that. She understood, but was glad that he realized how damaging that would have been. They were already under a microscope with Winnie Davis. Her boyfriend hitting a suspect for punching her was just the excuse the Deputy Chief needed to make her life even more complicated.

While she enjoyed the comfortable silence, clearing the air between them was essential, and when it became clear that he would not start, she squeezed his arms to get his attention.

"Go ahead, Andy. Say it," she prompted, feeling no need to specify further.

He let his lips trail along her jaw, nuzzling that sensitive spot right behind her ear, almost making her forget all about talking.

"There's nothing to say," he eventually stated. "You did your job, and you did it damn well. Did I like to see that dirtbag hit you? Of course not. It made me want to kill the asshole, and I still wish I could." He took a deep breath to calm down as his voice had risen slightly. She ran her fingers along his arms soothingly, waiting for him to go on.

"Don't you think I'd like to tell you never to do that again? The thing is, that's the job. We all put ourselves in danger from time to time if it means getting a criminal off the streets. I know that you will do it again if you feel that it's the only way. I don't have to like it, but I won't tell you not to do your job."

To say she was surprised was an understatement. Although, thinking about it, she realized that she should have known.

"So you're not angry?"

"Oh, I'm angry," he growled. "But not at you. Just…"

Sharon turned her head to look at him when he paused, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Maybe try to duck next time?"

A slight grin was tugging at his lips, and he laughed when she turned even more to poke a finger into his side, giving him a mock glare before she settled back again.

"Believe me, I did not think he would actually hit me. I wanted to provoke him into coming at me, but I thought he would get in my face or push me. The punch was completely unexpected. I didn't think he would be that stupid."

"I think Rusty knew it was going to happen. He got pretty worked up when you started to get a response out of the guy. Next time you do something like that, you might want to make sure he's not around. That's not something he needed to see."

His voice was soft, and it was clear that he did not intend to make her feel guilty about putting her son in that position, but that was exactly what she was feeling. It was not surprising that Rusty had seen it coming. He had more than enough experience with violent men. He had witnessed his biological mother being abused, and to think that she had inadvertently forced him to watch something similar unfold in front of his eyes once again made her feel terrible. No wonder he had been so freaked out earlier.

Andy seemed to anticipate the road her thoughts had taken. "He's okay, Sharon. He understands what you did, and he knows that this is not the same as what happened to his mother or to him. He knows you're okay, or he wouldn't have left with Gus. He'd be at home, hovering until you go crazy."

"I know. I'm still feeling horrible about this. I didn't even think about him being there."

Andy did not allow her to keep worrying. He attempted to distract her by once again kissing her neck, nibbling at the soft skin until she tilted her head to the side with a soft moan. His fingers feathered over her stomach, brushing at the underside of her breasts. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations his touch created, trying to block out her guilt and worries and the throbbing pain emanating from the left side of her head. There was one thought, however, that would not be silenced.

"He punched me, Andy," she stated, still feeling a little shaken by that fact. "In over thirty years on the force I have never gotten punched before. Pushed around, shoved to the ground, kicked at, yelled at, sure. I even got things thrown at me occasionally, but no one ever hit me in the face before."

Andy grunted again, hugging her tightly as if he wanted to make sure no one would ever hurt her again.

"Let's hope it'll be another thirty years before it happens again," he finally offered as he carefully turned her head to inspect the injured cheek.

"It's going to look worse tomorrow, but you'll be fine." He planted a tender kiss on the reddened skin. Then he gave her shoulder a little nudge. "Come on, let's get out of here before the water gets too cold. If you play your cards right, I could be convinced to throw in a back rub."

That was an offer she could not refuse. Her back muscles were already aching terribly, and the thought of his skilled hands digging into them made her moan.

"You've got yourself a deal."

Before she had even finished speaking, she was already on the way out of the tub, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body. When he stepped out behind her, she handed him another towel, taking a second to run a hand down his wet chest, delighted at the way the water made its way through the thicket of salt and pepper hair.

Sometimes it still hit her unexpectedly just how lucky she was to have found this man, and that he had been patient enough to wait for her. He knew her - the good, the bad, and the ugly. He was aware of how important her work was to her, he respected her as a capable, experienced professional, and he was not threatened by her strength and independence. He had never once tried to change her or to make her feel like she was not enough, like she was somehow insufficient. If anything, he was a little too forgiving of her faults. Slipping her arms around him, she leaned against his body and let her head rest over his heart, sighing happily when he returned the embrace.

"I hope you know how much you are loved," she whispered, tightening her hold on him.

There were a lot of things in their lives that were up in the air, many uncertainties that made them question the future, but through all of that, she knew they would have each other to hold on to. They would not let go of one another without a fight. He was her safe haven, and she was his, and with that knowledge, all the other worries appeared much less significant.