I don't have a very strong memory of before. Every memory seems murky and not all there. Trying to remember is as if trying to watch a movie looking through a crack in a closed door. You may have a good idea of what has happened, but you can't be one hundred percent sure of what's really there.
I remember the idea of blankness I felt and the dread that came with every waking moment. I was unhappy, like every other angsty teenager, but there was a numbness to it that couldn't be explained in just human vocabulary. I was bored, hurt, and most of all fed up with my species, the masochistic hypocrites they all were. Then afterward guilt would overindulge itself in my emotions because to them it was I who had a problem and it was my mother who would flatly tell me that I was the one who had to get my act together.
I was out for a walk like I would every other night; it was my way of cooling down and thinking things over in a rational manner. My headphones were in, blocking out all outer noise on the barren street as I strolled past a broken streetlight. The dark didn't scare me, but more comforted me in ways it should not have. The light, cool winter breeze picked up my hair in a gentle embrace and I felt at peace as my body swelled in the moon's light. I picked up my pace as the cold bitterly nibbled at my ears and tip of my nose.
The crackle of broken glass under my boots was unusual, but I had paid no mind to it as the direction I looked was strictly forward. What seemed like an unexplainable burst of wind pushed against my face and I had instinctively drew to a halt, placing the ball of my right foot firmly and quite painfully to the ground. After looking around for any cause of the matter, I gave up and continued to walk back down the sidewalk not far my home.
Someone's car alarm went off and I picked up my pace in fear my mother would be furious by the time I had gotten back to the house due to my being late. It seemed as though all that went on around here somehow ended up my fault anyway, I smirked at my snotty inner dialogue. I stopped almost instantly at the sight of one of the newer homes being robbed, a black and large looking van parked in the back yard of one of the larger lots. My headphones fell out and I attempted to run a couple feet ahead before I was able to be caught and used to be held for ransom.
Multiple angry voices yelled at each other in what seemed hushed tones coming from another dark car, this one parked a little ways down the street. From my observation it seemed to be missing its plates. I froze near the curb as I noticed the voices were then silent. I bolted down the other street, tears unconsciously falling down my cheeks as I prayed the shady figures hadn't noticed me and that I was just overreacting to things as usual. I had almost made it to hide out in what was left of the woods at the end of the street before the strange car's tires screeched against the pavement as it angrily went after me. Two men nearly threw themselves out of the car and ran in my direction, their large muscled arms with obvious pulsating veins had made mine appear like useless, lanky sausages.
I couldn't give up; I wouldn't allow myself the option. One's voice let out a low snarl, the other yelling for my return. "Come here you… hip... pathetic girl! Look at you! You run like a … hip … drunk!" One mocked with his words so heavily slurred I was surprised he could even carry his own body weight. They continued to walk deeper into the brush of what used to be something more than an empty, poorly kept lot. I hid behind a thickly trunked tree, trying my best not to scream and blow my hiding place.
"If you do not show yourself…" the drunk began before losing his trail of thought. I shuddered at his nauseating gurgle of a voice and pleaded in my head he would pass out before I would have to do something unbelievably stupid. He stumbled around a bit and I pushed my back even closer to the tree's trunk, wincing at the pain of a nub stabbing itself in my back.
"There you ar-gsh…" his excited tone went to slosh as he continually flung around his gun like a baton. I knew I must have looked like a wild eyed baby deer. "You bettergh not run off again. Or I'll shoot ya!" He threatened, the stolen pistol's barrel brushed against his cheek as he thought in what appeared to be a hollow head. I couldn't take the pain anymore and let my left leg slip out from under me, causing my butt to fall harshly on an over grown tree root.
I winced before I felt the real deal of it all. Once my leg had moved, the bastard shot me in the chest. I was a little impressed though, a man that heavily drunk with a good aim would be considered a god out in the backwoods, but of course the only thing I wanted to do to him was shoot him in return. But of course only life didn't work that way. "What did you do?!" Another man's voice, this one unfamiliar and seemed like the leader yelled at the blubbering, drunken idiot.
"I told the little shit to … hipp … to stop her movin' or I'd … heep … shoot 'er!"? He yelled, baffled at the man's concern.
"Yeah, and we need the money!" Another, my guess the beefy arms guy, joined.
"Not with her dead you do!" The leader hissed. They fell silent to his words. Idiots.
"Then whatta' we do?" the drunk stammered.
"Ahh..." The leader huffed, probably amazed by their stupidity, I know I was. "Just set her near the road. We have what we need." What?! They can't just leave me here to die! Heavy car doors slammed and the tires yet again squealed against the pavement as they left.