Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Written for the All Year Long Competition.
Mandatory Prompts - Character / Setting / Quote (used as inspiration only and credited below) / Action / Object / Emotion
Bonus Prompts - All of them.
"I desire the things that will destroy me in the end."- Sylvia Plath
The first time I saw him, he was in the Ministry of Magic, standing proudly behind his father. Although he was only about my age, he carried himself so differently. There was a confidence, even an arrogance about him that I recognised instantly, having been brought up to notice these things by my father.
He glanced at me, and I could have sworn I saw a hint of a smile on his aristocratic face, but it disappeared almost as fast as it had arrived and I was left uncertain. He was obviously happy to be here, the complete opposite to my own feelings about this place. Luckily, my father was too important to be able to fetch me here to often.
I can't wait to be able to leave, to get to Hogwarts, to get away from him. My birthday treat, he told me, that indulgent smile I see on his face when he talks about work, was to come to the office with him for the day. To meet the important people, to make good first impressions so when I leave school I already have connections. He plans to bring me here with him in the summer to continue these meetings.
In my opinion, the only good part of the day has been seeing the arrogant boy. There's something about him, something that makes me want to meet him properly, to make him like me. I'll see him at school though, and if he happens to be in the same house as me, perhaps I can convince him that he want's to be my friend.
xxxxx
I love Hogwarts. Not for the same reasons as the others do, not for the feasts, the ghosts, the lessons or even the learning magic. I've had private lessons since I was old enough to talk and the lessons are a walk in the park for me. No, the reason I love Hogwarts is because it gives me a sense of freedom I've never been afforded before. My father can no longer keep me on a leash, can no longer control everything I do, say or think.
The astronomy tower is my favorite place in the dusty old castle. Late at night, when I'm supposed to be in bed, I like to sneak up here, to watch the stars and just relax and revel in the silence. The first time I fear I have been caught is in my fifth year. I can hear someone approaching and I draw back into the shadows, hoping I will be missed.
When I see who it is, my heart drops into my stomach.
Over the years I've learnt as much as I can about him. Regulus Black, and when I first heard his name, I knew exactly why I had been drawn to him in the Ministry. He was everything I had been told to avoid. The Blacks are a notoriously dark family, and my father absolutely abhors them.
Regulus is a perfect Slytherin of course. Perfect grades, Prefect, and this year he was made captain of the Quidditch team. He hangs around with some of the older student's, Snape in particular, though I wonder sometimes if that is just his way of pissing his big brother off. As a Ravenclaw, Regulus has no time for me, doesn't even really glance at me as we pass in the corridor. He looks through me, not even noticing I am there.
The astronomy tower changes that.
xxxxx
After the first time he caught me in the tower, I stopped hiding when I heard footsteps. I always knew it would be him. He would sit beside me, without saying a word. A few times he would light one of those muggle cigarettes with his wand, and when the smoke made me cough, he would just smirk at me.
The first time he spoke to me, merely a greeting when he arrived, I stared at my hands, eyes trained on the ink stains left over from an exploding quill, courtesy of Potter and his crew, until he left again. My instincts, or rather, my father's instincts, told me to stay away from him, told me to stop going to the tower, told me that I didn't want anything to do with him, but like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to the tower night after night, drawn to him.
Within months of that first greeting, we began to speak most nights, simple things at first, classes, quidditch, before we broached the more serious, the more personal subjects. We exchanged horror stories of our home lives, me about my father and his controlling ways and Regulus told of the arguments with his brother, and between his brother and the rest of the family.
We became friends, and more, he was closer to me than anyone else ever had been. He knew more about me than I knew about myself, and I thought I knew him just as much.
xxxxx
Our seventh year started and there was a different undercurrent of emotions between us. I knew I loved him, and I also knew that if I ever told him, he would likely kill me. The first night back at school, we met, as was our norm now, in the astronomy tower. Reg had arrived first, something very uncommon and something that normally spelled trouble.
As I arrived, I saw him wiping tears away from his face. I longed to comfort him, to ask him what was wrong, to make him feel better, but I learned long ago that that wasn't the Slytherin way. Instead, I pretended not to see, sitting down with a smile and asking him how his summer had gone.
Half way through the year, we had an argument. Regulus had been recruited by Voldemort, something we were both expecting. What I, at least, wasn't expecting, was for Reg's first job be to recruit me to the ranks too. Our first argument had been explosive to say the least, and I wondered if I would ever even be able to look at him again, never mind talk to him. I stopped going to the tower, instead hiding out in an abandoned corridor on the third floor.
That's where he found me. When he entered, closing and locking the door softly behind him, I felt afraid of him for the first time ever. The fear left rather quickly, as he turned to face me with a conjured white flag, waving it in front of him. The sight, something I would never have expected to see, was too much for me, and the fear soon turned to amusement.
We shared our first kiss that night.
xxxxx
Much of the following few months were spent enjoying secret gropes in the tower, and having arguments much the same as the first. Eventually, he convinced me that it would be the only way for us to be together. I've always known he could manipulate me, and as much as my over active imagination has provided me with lots of happy visions of the future, I knew he was right. And so I agreed.
We celebrated by having sex for the first time. It was...very unromantic. Of course, I know that Reg isn't the type for candles and rose petals, but I had never imagined my first time to be in an abandoned classroom over an old desk. For me, the after part was the best. He conjured us a mattress, pulled me close, and whispered the three words that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
"I love you."
He was with me when I took the mark. He kissed me afterwards, full of promises about how good the future would be, how we could be together forever. I believed him.
xxxxx
How could he? He got me into this mess, and now, now he decided to be noble, to sacrifice his own life, and mine, to take down the man he had convinced me to pledge my life and loyalty too.
"Please, give me a moment to understand this, Reg," I muttered, rubbing a hand over my eyes. A headache has taken place, more painful that the Dark Lords Crucio, and I can't seem to think straight. He begins to speak, but I hold up a hand, shushing him.
I can't handle this, none of this, it can't be real. Walking out of the room, I hear him calling my name but I can't deal with any of it right now.
xxxxx
Empty promises ruined my life, and as I sink further into the dark, the regret and anger turning to hate, I begin to hate him with as much passion as I once loved him.
Regulus Black Broke Me.