I wrote this because I was bored, and I've never written smut before, so be easy. Rate it if you can, I want to know how good I am. I've bolded the smut, in case you don't care for the small storyline.

"I'm going to ask Patrice to marry me," Barney said with a serious look on his face.

I almost replied, but then remembered that I couldn't until Barney had said my name, due to the jinx. I gave Barney a look that said, "Are you done? Can I speak again?"

Barney's breath hitched for a moment, before asking, "The others, they're not going to be back any time soon, right?"

Remembering how slow the service was locally in my college years, I shook my head.

"Good. I was wondering..." Barney seemed kind of nervous, but excited more than anything. "Since I'm gonna be married and all, I was thinking of having one night of freedom. I've never told you this, but I never had my gay experience in college, so I thought..."

I saw where this was going, so I fumbled with the door, trying to get out. With one motion, Barney locked the car doors. We were in my car, but Barney had decided to sit in the driver's seat. I cursed myself for calling shotgun. I turned back to Barney and pleaded to be let go with my eyes.

"Maybe we could get together. I thought it would be fun to do it this way because you can't make a sound. Who knows, maybe I'll accidentally say your name, and you'll be free?" he said suggestively with raised eyebrows.

I tried laughing nervously, but no sound came out. I knew I had no choice, and besides, I hadn't had my gay experience either. I kind of wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Barney was sort of hot, though I'd never say it, so it was worth a shot.

Barney leaned in, and I met him halfway. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. I could feel his breath on my lips and his hand cupping my cheek. Suddenly, he swooped down and started kissing me desperately, I responded, letting my hands feel his hair. I felt one of his hands on my back, and his other found its way snaking up my thigh to my hardening member, which was rubbing against my jeans.

The kiss was broken, and I felt strangely disappointed. The blond held my hand and climbed to the back of the car with me. We started kissing again. Barney pulled me so I was lying on the back seats, his body pressing against mine. He grinded against me and kissed me; I could feel the tent in his pants as well.

Barney got off of me for a second to put his knees either side of my body. He sat on my crotch and started moving forwards and backwards. I moved the top half of my body forwards so that Barney could meet me halfway. We started kissing again, and it made me shudder with excitement. Barney started unbuttoning my shirt; still grinding on my boner.

He stopped for a second to pull his shirt over his head. He backed up a bit so he was lying on top of me. He separated my open shirt, and started kissing my body. I was still wearing my tie, but that didn't stop him from sucking my nipple and flicking it with his tongue with his hands roaming my hairy chest. My hands pushed his head downwards towards the area that most needed his attention.

Barney sucked at my stomach all the way down until he got to my belt. He undid it quickly and let it fall to the floor of the car. He backed up even more so he could undo my zipper with his teeth. He pressed his face into my crotch and started sucking at my boxers. He pulled out my cock, and stroked its throbbing length. He kissed the tip gently, and then he devoured it whole. I needed to let out some noise, but I couldn't break the jinx. Barney's head bobbed, and his hands continued rubbing against my torso. I pushed his head downwards each time, letting the pleasure devour me. My breathing started to hitch, and just when I thought I was about to cum, Barney stopped.

I almost whined, but he stood up and took his belt off sensually. He reached for his flies and pulled his pants off. He climbed over me once again, and I quickly pulled his boxers away with my teeth. The blond pulled me to meet his crotch, and I responded by covering his penis with my mouth. He started thrusting, and I bobbed my head like Barney had done. I felt his round ass with my nimble hands; pushing his dick deeper into my mouth. My tongue went around his glorious manhood, licking every inch of it.

My hands were finding their way back towards my cock, which was begging for attention. I saw Barney feeling his hot body with one hand and pushing my head towards his member each time with the other. He felt his nipples and moaned loudly.

I was close, I could feel it. I couldn't keep it in any longer. I shook, bucked and whined loudly as I let out my load, but Barney didn't hear.

"Oh my God, Ted Mosby!" I heard just a moment later, when a salty taste came to my mouth.

"You broke it! You broke the jinx!" I exclaimed.

"Damn it," he said, climbing off of me. "I thought you would be the one to lose."

We dressed as quick as we could and were back in our seats when Marshall and Lily came to the car with Robin.

"I hate how long it is to get anything around here. How are you meant to wait that long?" I heard Robin say.

"I don't know, I'm sure there's something you could do to pass the time," Barney smirked.