Disclaimer: Don't own….as if you didn't know….
A/N: First Life With Derek Fic. Woot! Ok, just thought I'd take a try at this.
WARNING! Take R-rating seriously. The sex isn't explicit but the theme is dark and may be to disturbing to some. This is a EdwinLizzie fic, with mentions of Dasey. If you don't like it then be my guest and flame me….but I warn you……I'll probablylaughat your pathetic, little ass.
To Them It Made Sense
They grew up seeing it happen. They spent years watching events fold out that their older brother and sister believed that nobody knew about. Casey and Derek held the theory in their mind that nobody had any idea about their "infatuation' with each other. They thought nobody saw the looks and rushed, urgent kisses shared between the two step-siblings, but Edwin and Lizzie knew all along. They were young enough not to look past such details but old enough to understand.
They started out believing that Derek and Casey's "hidden" relationship was different and wrong. Brother and sister weren't supposed to touch each other, hug each other, and kiss each other. It was like witnessing a bad movie that their parents would never let them watch, but as the years went by and countless nights were spent wishing that they were naïve, it started to become just a part of life for Lizzie and Edwin. They began to find comfort in the soft moans and cries that would seep through the thin walls of their house. They began to see less of the wrong in the relationship and more of the fact that that was just the way things were.
Sometimes Edwin would sneak into Lizzie's room because the sounds were not as "apparent" from his. He would slide in next to her and they would curl in together and listen until inevitably both would drift into a peaceful sleep. It was like children listening to a sick lullaby. It was a tune to a song that they never should have learned in the first place, but it was the only one they knew.
It wasn't until they were thirteen that Edwin's arm began to slide over Lizzie's waist as they lay in her twin sized bed. It was not weird or awkward for them because Casey and Derek did it. Casey and Derek had showed them how, taught them the way and it was all just another right piece to a wrong puzzle.
When they were fourteen Derek and Casey moved out of the house. Strangely enough, but not to Edwin and Lizzie, they actually moved to the same town together. Nora and George had no idea, but it was not that hard to see why. That first night, it was Lizzie who came into Edwin's room, with tears streaming down her face and a blanket clutched in her trembling hands.
"I can not sleep without them….it's so quiet, Edwin, and I don't know how to close my eyes and pretend to hear them again." She had told him in a whispered cry. He had nodded slightly before holding his arms out to her. She had crawled into them and without a word they had fallen asleep wondering how to make things seem the same again.
Their favorite days were when Derek and Casey would come home for a visit and once again they could relive those moments from their childhood in the sinful hours of the night. Those nights, Edwin would come into Lizzie's room with a smile plastered on his face, one that seemed so familiar to Lizzie, from a time when sleep was brought through elicit sounds.
A couple days later Casey and Derek would leave and it would be hard to sleep again. Lizzie would find her way into Edwin's room, because it made sense for it to be that way. They were fifteen the first time Lizzie had said it. She had turned in the arms that were wrapped protectively around her and pleaded, "Kiss me like Derek kisses Casey." Because she had to know, because they needed to know. Lizzie had slipped her arms around Edwin's neck and Edwin had lowered his mouth to hers. It had been shy and inexperienced but it was enough to see why their older brother and sister had found so much joy in it. Lizzie had pulled away from the kiss and Edwin could see the hint of tears shining in her eyes, and for a moment Edwin had worried that he had done something wrong.
"They fucked us up, didn't they?" And Edwin was shocked because curse words never came from her mouth. "No one could ever believe this is right….but I do…….and it's their fault, Edwin." All Edwin could think to do was nod, because there was nothing to say to that. That had grown up witnessing sin in the form of a brother and sister and now they were turning out just like them. He had started to pull away from her but she had held tight to him, because if she had to be wrong then he had to be wrong with her.
Over the next year several kisses were shared. Looks that had once been shared between older, wiser siblings, were now in the eyes of Lizzie and Edwin. Hands were slid up thighs under the dinner table and kisses were placed upon lips when doors were shut and rooms were empty, but it wasn't until they were sixteen that the transition from spectator to participant was completed.
"Edwin, I want you to fuck me like Derek fucks Casey." And she never used words like that unless she was alone with him and that made him feel special and sick all at once.
His hands were clumsy and her eyes were nervous, but it made sense. It all made so much fucking sense, because in their world things were meant to be that way…it was meant to be wrong and shameful and sick, because to them that's what made it right. She had cried out when he had pushed into her and he'd worried that he had hurt her. He whispered apologies and curses in her ear and she had clutched onto his shoulders as she reassured him and cursed as well. When they had finished they had fallen against each other, exhaustion taking hold of their bodies, and from that night on they had no more problems with sleep because the sounds that had comforted and condemned them for years were now spilling off their own lips to be lost in a world where nothing is ever just right and wrong.