A/n- I know I need to finish Vows. I know. I will, I promise. I've hit a rather severe writers block, both fan-wise and in the originality front (I'm quite distressed over it). This is- hopefully- going to ease me back in, or at least, back near where I was a few months ago.
Disclaimer: ?
Summary: Based off… my own sick mind, I think. More rambling than anything.
Never Boken
The sky was India ink all around her. Far below, like little campfires so far away, streetlamps cast pale yellow halos into the night.
From the usual lookout point, high above the city, Yumemi could feel the magic in the air around her. It swelled like a chorus of strings, a symphony of reedy notes pulling her forward into never-ending sky… and then pushing her back again to crash upon the earth like a wave.
It was well past midnight, but there she was, alone and shivering under her nightgown, standing stalk still on that flat-topped chunk of earth jutting up from Tokyo's otherwise normal landscape.
A owl hooted off somewhere in the dark, and Yumemi flinched away, clasping the red cloak around her.
It had been three years. Three years and absolutely nothing. Not a word or a sign or anything save the token she was bundled in and the signet resting in her hand.
During the daylight hours, the three girls would sometimes climb the ridge and sit for a time. Ichiko and Suzume did it for her benefit always, Yumemi knew. They came along, but they had no reason other than to accompany her.
Yumemi always went to wait.
Wait for something that, now, she didn't think was ever coming.
She took a step forward closer to the edge, a whimper lost within her throat as she looked the hundreds of feet down to the ground. Briefly, a memory- her vaulting herself off broken iron into waiting hands below.
But now… now there were no hands to catch her, were they?
Yumemi didn't quite remember getting up that night. She didn't quite remember walking barefoot down the stairs, through the foyer, and out the front door. She didn't quite remember trudging nearly a mile before reaching the base of the new mountain.
She did remember the pain, she'd bourn it for years now, and it was a harsh and biting pain that hurt her so.
It started small, just so insignificant and innocent, like her affections for him. She had been cutting vegetables for her mother when the knife slipped, slicing a thin and shallow cut along her finger.
Yumemi had huffed a surprise at the sharp and fleeting pain, but as she was about to kiss the wound she paused.
The blood welling there, along her finger, was it not a crimson streak of red? Oh how she longed to see that hue again, if not for one moment of one day. She'd wanted to see it for so long.
Yumemi never could bring herself to do outright damage; she was too scared. Too much of a coward. But it was the simple prick of a needle to the palm, or the inconspicuous bite of the nail that would smart for just a moment and then run ruby red.
It made her heart ache, wrench, to want it so.
How could a single person be aflame so very badly?
Yumemi curled her toes over the edge of the long drop, looking up at the sky that always seemed to see her, but never acknowledged she was even alive.
For a moment, she contemplated.
If she were to jump, would there be someone even now to catch her?
Her knee bent, right foot hanging over the vast darkness, and Yumemi was surprised to feel tears well within her eyes. To stifle herself, she slipped off his golden ring and moved it past her lips, letting it whirl around her mouth.
She could taste the salt of her skin on the metal, feel it cool her heated tongue until she stuck it against one cheek and sucked on it, drawing what she hoped was courage.
A breath, and her body was ridged as she tilted dangerously forward, waiting for the earth to tilt, to jar, and then she would never be at fault for letting herself go over.
Her eyes fluttered shut.
The ground listed, and she stepped off blissfully into nothingness. It closed around her like a suffocating wave, over her head as she sunk into the earth.
A hand slipped around her waist and held her against something warm and solid.
Yumemi choked a sob.
"Please, let me go."
"Why in Heaven would I do that?"
"I can't do this- you know I can't do this forever."
His other arm came around and crushed her to him. "I will not allow your surrender."
Yumemi's knees gave out and she wilted; but he came with her, cradling her against him as she sobbed into his shirt. She spat out the ring, to which he raised one single eyebrow, but said nothing.
"Why?"
"I was protecting you. Even now I protect you. I want you to be safe- to be my own. You are the one thing, the only thing, I can have for myself," and she could hear how plain his words was, how vulnerable.
Her voice, even though it was choked with tears, cut harshly. "I am not a thing."
His hold tightened, "Yes. I know. I should not have said that."
A pause, and she could smell the very scent of him around her, but she still did not open her eyes.
"This isn't real."
He tensed. "I know."
"Must you always save me?"
"I will always save you Yumemi."
The warmth of him was so cold now- like ice. She shivered.
"When will you come back? You must come back."
But she was given no answer, and only then did her eyes open.
She was wrapped tightly in his cloak, like a child in the swaddling of its mother, laying alone on the street curb. Her head was pillowed on her arm, one of her legs laying partially into the street. His ring lay beside her brow.
Yumemi sucked in a breath, and than another.
She was not broken. She was not dead.
A great choking sob wrenched its way from her lungs, and how she wished he had truly been there.
But it was never so.
When she would suck in water from the pool, she'd be sitting on the deck the next second.
Cars, which she stepped in front of, never hit.
And great falls…
Yumemi looked up where the moon cast beams of light upon the mountain.
Great falls never broke her.
Fin
A/n- I can't believe no one has done a "severely depressed Yumemi" or "attempted suicide Yumemi" yet. It would seem typical, after waiting so long for a loved one, that someone would consider death. Whatever! Please review!