Title: A Tiger Never Changes His Stripes
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Even if I wanted to, I could never own The Mentalist.
Summary: Pure Jane/Lisbon fluff. One shot that has been saved for a long time.
"Lisbon, don't shoot until you only see the whites of my eyes!"
Jane found himself handcuffed to Rigsby's desk; he had been placed there, again, because he had set off Lisbon's temper. He had only been trying to help. What Lisbon had not understood was that help sometimes required pissing off a District Attorney once in a while. He had been the murderer after all. He didn't understand why she had to get all bent out of shape about it.
After he got himself free, he broke into Lisbon's office. When he got into the office she held her gun aimed at the middle of his forehead, right between the eyes.
"Lisbon," he stated, "don't shoot until you only see the whites of my eyes!"
"I will shoot you, especially since you just broke into my office!" yelled Lisbon.
"Do you honestly think that a new lock was going to stop me?" asked Jane.
"No, but a bullet to your brain just might." He noticed Lisbon scowl.
"Lisbon, then you would be arrested for murder and honestly, I don't think that Cho's poor little heart could take that. We all know he looks to you as a role model and we don't want Cho's dreams crushed, do we?" Jane had let that question linger in the air for just a moment, but that stopped.
Jane had fallen, face and body first, into the edge of Lisbon's desk. The point on the edge of the desk pushed into his stomach. He felt the point of her gun at his back and the pressure of her body holding him there so he couldn't escape her.
Even though Jane should have been horrified by what might happen to him, he had actually been giggling on the inside. This was because he felt that this should be the other way around, but he did not let that thought go any farther than it already had. He had never imagined him and Lisbon that way.
He shook the thought away and he heard her say, "I don't think anyone would arrest me for killing you. In fact, I believe I would be crowned a heroine for getting the annoying, pain in the ass, ego inflated, idiotic consultant out of the world's hair for good!"
"Lisbon," he asked softly, "could we possibly talk about this without you pushing me into the desk and the point not protruding into my ribcage?"
"Fine, but if you say anything that I deem wrong, it is back to you being at the point of a gun and me deciding whether I kill you now or when you're on your couch. Am I understood?" Lisbon demanded.
"Completely. Now Lisbon, I do feel that you are completely overreacting. I mean the man murdered John Harris. He deserved to be taunted, doesn't he?"
"All right, be prepared to meet the point of my gun!" yelled Lisbon. She definitely wanted no part of his explanation. So, he just fled. He had run out of her office, past Rigsby, Van Pelt, and Cho, and up into his attic. He had been sure that she wouldn't follow him all the way up there. It wasn't worth it for her unless he was right where she could easily get to him.