A/N: This is the brain child of my friend Janell and I. We got unbelievably bored in third block and, instead of doing work, did this. It's not great, but it was quite entertaining at the time. Enjoy. :D

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there stood a school. In this school, there was a classroom and in this classroom there were students. These students were eager to learn, so they could leave this God forsaken school, but others were determined to take control of the classroom.

The one who wanted to take control was an evil, sinister person named Lori, along with her evil friend Jane. Consumed by boredness, Lori decided to finally take over the classroom. She called her giant (evil) dog mutant thing to tear the roof off, and then evil cannibal ninjas swooped in and ate everyones faces off, Jane especially enjoyed watching Morgan, a loud mouth girl, get her face eaten off. Finally, Lori and Jane were left in control of the classroom! Now, they needed something else to do.

That's when they decided, why stop at the classroom? "We should take over the city!" They cried in unison. Laughing in a sinister manner they made their way to the front office- ninjas and dog thing in tow. What they didnt' know was- Morgan wasn't dead, and she wanted revenge.

Morgan's semi dead body picked itself up and began looking for its face, she found it and glued it back to where it had been previously, she then called forth an evil undead army and stalked off to find Lori and Jane.

Meanwhile, Lori and Jane laughed sinisterly as they watched their ninjas and dog crushing up the rest of the school. Suddenly, Morgan walked up and they prepared to fight. An epic battle, evil vs. evil, dead vs. Lori's favorite things (cannibal ninjas) who would win?

Well, it was a gory scene- far too violent for children to read about. But, of course, Lori's favorite things won, how could they not? So, Jane and Lori laughed sinisterly on the way to town hall, ready to take on the mayor. They just didn't realize they forgot to banish the evil undead army back to the fiery pits of hades that they had come from- and they still wanted Morgan's revenge, oh my!

When Lori and Jane arrived at the mayor's place, they found that he was actually James- and evil vampire who also wanted to take over the world, using his evil new borns. So, they prepared to fight. But, suddenly, Morgan's army appeared and they were trapped.

Sadly, the next bit of the story was lost, due to Lori and Jane writing on loose leaf paper. Or, maybe it was burned in one of those epic battles they always seem to be getting into. But, basically...

Lori, Jane and James teamed up and destroyed the undead army. Lori and James fell in love. That's when they rest of the Twilight cast appears.

Now, on with the story...

Later on in life, Lori and Jane were busy enjoying their new lives. Jane had fallen in love with Emmett (they were gonna get married!!) and absolutely adored Edward and Bella, she even loved watching after Nessie.

Lori was now with Jasper, Alice had stolen James away from her, so Lori and Jane didn't live far apart. One day, during this new life, a person named Mallar jumps out of the woods.

Lori, being a vampire, wasn't particularly worried. She just smiled and cuddled up to Jasper-but she was thinking of James. Darn Alice for stealing him. She wanted him back, she loved Jasper, but she was in love with James.

Meanwhile, Mallar, who was very disappointed made her way to Jane- who was human, as well as alone with Edward, doing things they shouldn't be- he was married after all.

Jane screamed as Mallar walked in on a very intimate moment between herself and Edward. Quickly, Edward jumped up to defend her, hitting Mallar so hard that she was knocked into the next century (literally). All the noise caused Emmett and Bella to head upstairs and investigate...

Lori looked into Jasper's eyes, she was sure she looked guilty because she knew her love for James was greater than her love for Jasper. Finally, she whispered she was sorry and ran off to find James and win him back from that no good fortune teller.

Jasper blinked, and she was gone- the love of his life. He loved her more than Alice, but it seemed she didn't return the feeling. Darn the cruel Gods who rule over love. That's when he decided to take things into his own hands and he headed into the woods after Lori.

Meanwhile, Emmett and Bella had made their way up stairs... seeing Jane hiding under the sheets and Edward half naked- ooo you got some splainin' to do.

Lori could feel Jasper behind her, but she kept running. She had to win James back, she couldn't be evil without him. Finally, she came upon her true love and her greatest enemy.

As Jane and Edward explained everything, Emmett and Bella stared at them in shock. They couldn't believe that the loves of their lives could do something like that. And while Jane and Edward apologized again and again and were forgiven, they couldn't get over the hurt in the eyes of those they loved.

Lori reached James and Alice and suddenly she wasn't sure she wanted to know if he still loved her, because she didn't think he did. For the first time in her evil existence, she was scared. Jasper suddenly appeared behind Lori, that's when he saw Alice and James, he had never seen them together and they way she looked at him caused him so much pain, if it were possible, he would be crying.

"Jane, I love you." Emmett whispered into her ear as they made their way to the river. "Emmett... I love you too." She didn't mean it, but she didn't want to have to leave, not when she still had Edward.

"What are you doing here Lori?!" She wasn't sure what to say.. but she blurted out what she had come to find out, "James, I need to know if you still love me." James smiled, Alice gasped, and Jasper just stood there, looking as if he were in pain.

While Jane was walking through the woods she came upon Edward, face in his hands. She put a comforting arm around him and asked, "what's on your mind?"

He told her that Bella still loved him and had given him a choice, her or Jane.

He wasn't sure who to choose.

"Yes, I still love you Lori." Smiling, she ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. That's when Alice grabbed Jasper's arm and ran off to warn everyone.

"You met Bella first, she gave up everything to be with you. She deserves you, I don't. Besides, you're married with a kid.." Edward stood up, "You're right."

Just then, Alice and Jasper ran up, "James and Lori are together... which means everyone is in danger." Hearing the news, they ran to the house to tell everyone else.

"I'm thinking we should take over Italy..." James said as they made a meal of Mike Newton. "Sounds like a plan to me, I'm just glad we're together again."

All of the Cullens and Jane saw what was happening, but decided that Mike wasn't worth an epic battle. So, when Lori and James were done they asked them politely to leave their territory. They agreed, they were heading to Italy soon anyway...

THE END!