15/05/xxxx
Everything is a lie.
Even those "good" days when nobody bites me.
Sure, on those days I get to be alone, knit, read and maybe smile. As long as I'm quiet everything is serene. These activities splashed a few drops of colour on my dull and desolate canvas. Alas, the colour will eventually get sucked off no matter how many times I attempt to re-dye it.
Knitting was fun. Looping each string of yarn and feeling proud when forming a small patch. Taking polaroids of myself wearing my works then hanging the images on the wall. Bringing some amenity into the dingy room. Until Ayato decided to wreck my gallery every time and rip everything to shreds.
I loved the anecdotes in books. Following the characters on adventures, watching them deepen their friendships with one another... The world is their oyster. Which then reminded me of the life I should be living outside instead of rotting in this madhouse.
Of course I tried to "look on the bright side". Ruined mittens means more knitting to past time. And living outside doesn't allow me to savor 5 star meals everyday or have dishes washed by maids... But my heart ached when that redheaded beast tore my painstakingly crafted belongings, and I have always yearned to know what's it like to have a best friend to explore the world together.
However, escape is impossible so I'm sure I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life in this asylum, waiting for the next torture section to come after the previous. I'm getting tired of this hell cycle.
The disgusting cyclic life I'm leading now feels like a pointless drag. It is so very hopelessly redundant. I might as well die now. Get this over and done with. I have had enough of these agonising nights, screaming and waking up from a nightmare to find a real nightmare staring down at me. Then waking up in the morning, wishing he would be gone already. Finally, fearfully praying that God would have mercy on me for the rest of the day. God... I wonder what sins have I done to deserve such excruciating punishment. Can you still hear me when I'm calling out to you? Or are you just all a lie like what Laito said?
It's been 2 years already and I'm sure father isn't intending on coming to get me any time soon. In fact, I don't think he is ever coming back. He just dumped me here as a sacrifice...
Had he ever loved me?
Hi everyone, just thought of putting something into the DL fandom. I tried to make this fic go the way I wanted and I hope the flow wasn't too unnatural (although I do feel it's weird so I might come back to re-edit it if I ever find what's bugging me). Please do pardon any grammar/language mistakes, my command of English isn't exactly the best. Feel free to comment.