Author's note: Just a bit of crack fiction for the BSN Anders Manisfesto group. We were supposed to write a story involving a song. Here's my hastily-written-at-the-last-minute-with-the-help-of-a-drunk-friend contribution:

Anders paced from desk to fireplace and back again in Hawke's bedroom. He didn't exactly feel comfortable waiting in here but with Bodahn and Orana constantly asking if he needed something, the dog begging for attention, and last (but most certainly not least) Sandal staring at him nonstop and murmuring "enchantment," he had to get out of there.

"A sensible man would have waited in the study, he mused out loud, less gossip to be caused by that, but I need to think and that means being as far away from that ruckus as possible." Hawke hadn't been exactly receptive to the idea of helping the mage underground in the past but now he had substantial evidence of a plot to turn all mages tranquil. Surely she must see the need to act now, with her own sister imprisoned in The Gallows.

Anders began to pace again, fidgeting with the buckles on his coat. His eyes scanned the room looking for something with which to relieve his boredom and help him settle his nerves. A leather bound volume on the desk caught his eye. "Ah, this will do the trick. I can read until Hawke gets home. It will be interesting to see what sort of books she appreciates. Trashy adventure novels most likely."

Anders opened the cover and was surprised to see that this wasn't a book at all – but a journal. He didn't think anyone would keep a journal in plain sight.

YOU SHOULD PUT IT DOWN. THOSE ARE HER PRIVATE THOUGHTS.

Ahh Justice. You always have to spoil my fun. What harm could it do? Besides it might give us some insight as to how to get her to help with our cause.

IT STILL DOES NOT SEEM RIGHT, BUT IF YOU THINK IT WILL HELP.

I do.

He flipped through the pages of the journal, scanning for anything that might shed some light on her view of the mages plight. It was mostly a record of events he already knew about, given Hawke's tendency to take him anywhere she thought his healing skills would come in handy. She didn't make is easy either. Trying to heal a reaver was like trying to dam a river with a handful of pebbles. She was lucky he loved.. err cared about her well being. His eyes widened as he came to a passage that looked like verse. "I had no idea she was the type."

Your love is like bad medicine.

Bad medicine is what I need.

Shake it up, just like bad medicine.

Your love's the potion that

Can cure my disease

Anders' cheeks flushed as he realized this song had to be about him. "All this time. Maker. But why, when she seems to be against everything I stand for," he murmured under his breath.

"Ahem."

Anders dropped the book with a start as he realized that Hawke was right behind him.

"I'm not going to ask why you're in my room or why you're reading my journal but I am curious as to why you are even here," Hawke said in the tense voice of someone who would really like to be yelling but doesn't want to make a scene.

"I came by to ask a favor of you. It was a bit crowded downstairs so I decided to come up here for some peace.. look I know this is odd."

"At least you're self aware. What do you wish of me? You know I'm not going to help you free mages and the like."

"You might change your mind if you just listen to me for once. There's a templar named Ser Ulric who has formulated a plan to turn all mages tranquil. He calls it The Tranquil Solution. Would you want Bethany to be stripped of all emotion? To never love you again?"

"Wait, what? You have to be imagining things. There's no way the templars would go through with such a plan. Even they can see that magic has its uses; healing and the like at the very least."

"You have to trust me. Please, meet me in the undercity when you can. There's a concealed entrance to The Gallows there. At least see for yourself what is going on. For Bethany's sake if no-one elses."

"Alright. For Bethany. But this sounds more dangerous than the run of the mill mob we fight. What if he calls down the whole order on us?"

"Don't you worry. I'm the best healer there is, even if there are those who consider my medicine... bad.," Anders finished with a smirk he regretted immediately. Next thing he knew Hawke was throwing everything she could get her hands on in his general direction. He made a hasty retreat out of the room, downstairs, and out of the house. The last thing he heard was "And if I EVER catch you reading my journal again I swear I will hang you with your own entrails!"

I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ THE JOURNAL.

Oh, I don't know. I think her temper is endearing. And she LIKES me. Or did. Hard to tell at this point, I guess.

Justice took control just long enough to facepalm and sigh.

MORTALS.

The End