Good In Goodbye - A House Fanfic

A/N: This is my first attempt at a House fanfic. I am making a blanket statement now that I am five episodes into Season 2. This means I have seen all of Season 1, five episodes of Season 2 and the very last episode ever. I have a horrible feeling this will be very OOC, and probably AU. Just keep all of this in mind before you get too critical. The idea came to me while listening to the song Good In Goodbye by Carrie Underwood so go and check that out. Clearly I don't own House. If I did I would have seen all the episodes by now.

(Let's just Pretend House Doesn't Work For Cuddy, I said this was AU!)

Lisa Cuddy didn't spend much time doing leisurely things for herself. Her time was pretty much consumed with work, being the head of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital and all. Today though Cuddy just needed a break from everything. She called her second in command and told him she was taking a vacation day. She headed downtown just to wander around and do some shopping. The path she was walking led past the restaurant Rossini's Italian Brick Oven. Cuddy shook her head at the memories and the times she had spent in that restaurant. Those were the better and simpler times. Before the break-up, before Stacy, before the clot in his leg.

Cuddy tried to walk as quickly past the little Italian eatery as she could. She heard something though that stopped her in her tracks. It was a laugh, a laugh she hadn't heard in years. It was HIS laugh. Cuddy turned around and caught a glimpse of none other than Dr. Gregory House standing outside the eatery and he wasn't alone. He was standing there talking to a man who had his back to her, she could have sworn it was James Wilson, one of her employees at the hospital. She knew once a month he took a long lunch to go out and meet House. He kept her informed about these sorts of things, she figured he felt like it was his duty to do so since they were once all the best of friends.

There was someone else there with them. House had a little girl up on his shoulders. She couldn't have been more than three years old. They both looked so happy. She couldn't even remember the last time she had seen House genuinely happy. Looking closer at the small group standing there she saw how the little girl had such crystal eyes of blue. She knew exactly where they came from. They came from House. Stacy's eyes were dark, those most definitely belonged to House.

Cuddy realized she had been staring a moment too long and knew she had to get away before they saw her. She was just about to turn around and make a quick exit she heard the voice of a three year old clear as a bell: "Daddy, Uncle Jimmy look! It's that lady that's in all your pictures from college". House looked up and looked straight into her eyes and his face fell while Wilson on the other hand turned around and smiled at her and called her over. "Cuddy what are you doing here? You're not at the hospital?" Knowing she couldn't back out now Cuddy took a deep breath and walked over to the two men and the little girl. "No Wilson I'm not at the hospital, I took a personal day today. House it's been…. So many years. How are you?" Cuddy asked trying to force a fake smile. Staring at him she was met with a sheer face of disgust. That same old sneer he gave her the night they broke up, the same one he gave her the night he woke up from his medically induced coma to find out she had done work on his leg under Stacy's order.

"Cuddy I never thought I'd see you again". House's demeanor changed from angry to flat in a matter of seconds. Cuddy could feel the tension building between them, she hated it. Trying to diffuse the situation addressed the little girl. "And who is this pretty young lady, I don't think we've ever met." Cuddy said smiling up at her. The little girl spoke up quickly "I'm Allison Stacy House and I'm three years old. I have a pet dog named Sparky and I'm going to be a lawyer and a doctor when I grow up." The little girl was smiling proudly down at Cuddy, she definitely had her mother's people skills thank goodness. "A doctor and a lawyer? Wow you sure have really big and really great dreams. My name is Lisa Cuddy and I run a hospital, the one where your Uncle Jimmy works." The little girls eyes lit up. "We were going to go see Uncle Jimmy's office today because Daddy said the dragon lady wasn't there. Can I see your office too Miss Lisa?" Allison asked and Cuddy caught House's panicked expression out of the corner of her eye. "Of course you can see my office Allison, you'll have one just like it some day I'm sure." Cuddy completely skipped over the 'dragon lady' remark. She knew House had been talking about her. Wilson must have told them she wasn't in today making it a good day for House to come by, no chance of them running into one another. Oh the irony.

Wilson decided to break the tension. "Well what do you say everyone let's go back to the hospital. Munckin wanna ride back with Uncle Jimmy instead of on your dad's boring old motorcycle?" Allison squealed and clapped her hands and nodded her head and House helped her down off his shoulders. Cuddy was outraged that he would even put a three year old on a motorcycle but that was House for you, always making stupid decisions. "Miss Lisa" Cuddy heard a voice say. She turned around and saw Allison smiling up at her with those blue eyes and a very 'House' like grin. "You promise I can see your office right?" Cuddy smiled at her "Of course you can see my office. I'll meet you boys there."

The ride back to the hospital was something of anguish for Cuddy. It seems like time hadn't healed any of the wounds for them. He was still bitter and angry with her. College and Grad School had been the best years of Cuddy's life. She met House when she was a Freshman and he was in his first year of Grad School, both in the medical field, meeting by chance and sparring off instantly. They had this chemistry like a lit match and a tank of gasoline. Separate they were fine, being around each other was dangerous but not harmful but together it was explosive and depending on the situation that explosion could be very good or very bad. They fought all the time, he was always talking to her in a condescending tone. One night they took it too far screaming at one another in her dorm room inching closer and closer to one another. It resulted in a lot of kissing and some fooling around. They started dating after that.

They were doing just fine until Cuddy graduated Grad School. They began seeing each other less frequently, it wasn't a bad thing, they both had jobs and friends and things to do. Cuddy started to become suspicious when House stopped answering her phone calls in the evening and canceling their lunch plans. Cuddy found out he had been seeing but not seeing this woman named Stacy. Cuddy really let him have it, totally unaware this woman named Stacy was in the next room. She came walking in staring at House opened mouthed and started cussing him out as well. Cuddy immediately felt bad for talking down about her. Apparantly Stacy didn't know House and Cuddy were a couple and when she found out she got just as mad at House.

She told him she was going to break up with him right on the spot for being complete scum and scamming on two girls at one time.

Cuddy laughed slightly to herself at that memory and the next. That day she and Stacy actually became fast friends. They went to a little ice cream parlor down the road from House's apartment and bonded over bashing him. Stacy apologized as well as Cuddy for being the "other woman" something neither one of them ever intended to be. They spent a lot of time together over the next year just being friends and doing girly things like shopping and going to dinner and drinking just a little too much while watching sappy chick flicks. One night after way too much wine and a Rom Com marathon Stacy admitted she never quite got over House and wished she could get back together with him. Cuddy in a drunken haze told Stacy if she felt that strongly maybe she should go back to him. With the advice of her closest girlfriend on her side Stacy did exactly that. House and Stacy were dating again and Cuddy had been promoted to Dean of Medicine at the hospital. Cuddy used work to fill up her time and avoid having to go out on group outings with Stacy and House or be forced into an awkward double date with them and Wilson.

Everything changed when House was rushed to the hospital after having some pains in his leg from a day of playing golf. Apparently he had went to the clinic, self medicated on something and wasn't getting any better. Cuddy became the overseer on his case and discovered the real problem with his leg. Telling him they may have to amputate it killed her, especially when he was enraged at the thought of that. They proceeded with the operation to remove the clot and House asked to be put into a medically induced coma to get through the worst of the pain. Once he was out cold Stacy was allowed to make any decisions she wanted for him, Stacy asked Cuddy if she could perform the middle ground procedure they had discussed earlier. Cuddy advised her against it but Stacy asked for the papers, she said she was saving his life and someday no matter how far in the future that was, he figure that out.

Cuddy oversaw the whole surgery, making sure everything was done properly and in no way could make anything worse for House than it was already going to be. When he woke up and found out what had been done he was livid. He and Stacy didn't speak for four months. In that time House had to go through an extensive rehab and learn how to walk with a cane. He also became addicted to Vicodin. He had been on other drugs before in the past but this addiction was by far his worst. One day he finally saw the light and went back and apologized to Stacy. They reconciled and a few months later he proposed. Stacy was overjoyed that he'd proposed and asked Cuddy to be the maid of honor at the wedding. Cuddy couldn't do anything but agree especially because Stacy kept telling her if it wasn't for her they wouldn't even be having a wedding.

Cuddy tried to push the feelings she still had for House out of the back of her mind during all the wedding preparations. He was marrying Stacy and there was nothing she could do to change his mind. Not that she really wanted him to anyway, knowing what that would do to her best friend. They day of the wedding came. Cuddy got dressed in her purple bridesmaid's dress and helped Stacy do some of her initial preparations. Then she went to check on the men, make sure they were doing what they were supposed to instead of hiding out in a back room drinking beer and playing video games.

Cuddy saw Wilson in the hallway heading towards Stacy's room telling Cuddy he wanted to go wish her luck before everything started. Cuddy nodded as he passed and continued to head for House's room. She walked in and was completely stunned by what she saw. He looked so good in a tux. He was fiddling with his tie as she leaned against the doorway to watch him, he turned around and noticed her presence. She smiled at him and walked into the room. "Don't you look great. Need some help with that tie?" She asked and he nodded. Cuddy made quick work of tying the knot and straightening the tie out. She looked up at House who was staring back at her with an icy glare. "House need I remind you that you're getting married today. You could wipe that disgusted look of your face for an hour or so right?" He just continued to glare at her as he reached over to pick up the cane lying on the table next to them. Then he spat out the words that Cuddy had ingrained in her brain till this day: "This is all your fault." Cuddy scrunched up her face and looked at him. "My fault?" she asked him. What the hell could that mean? "Yes your fault. I shouldn't be using this damn thing on my wedding day" he said gesturing to the cane "I walk like an 80 year old man not a 40 year old one now and it's all because of you. I'm a cripple, a gimp, a loser all because you went and suggested some stupid idiotic exploratory surgery on my leg to my distraught girlfriend." Cuddy couldn't even believe he was accusing her of this. "Are you out of your mind? That procedure saved your life and more importantly your leg. That surgery saved your life. I advised Stacy against getting it done because I KNEW how much you would hate it when you found out it was done more or less behind your back. She wanted to do it and knew you would forgive her some day. She was right. Let's make one thing really damn clear here, just because you've gotten over blaming her sure as hell doesn't mean you can start blaming me for it. Who's next Wilson? The guy who lives next door? The hobo down the street? There's no one to blame except your own bad luck of getting a clot in your leg. No one DID this to you. If we didn't do what we did you wouldn't even be here today. Or you'd be here with only one leg, probably in a wheelchair which I know you would hate." Cuddy was crying now and House was just staring at her with his icy glare. "You're right Cuddy. I do blame you because it was all your fault. If I had it my way you wouldn't even be here right now because I can't stand to look at you because I hate you so much." With that Greg House walked out of the room and didn't look back, leaving Cuddy fifteen minutes to sob in peace before cleaning herself up and heading back to her maid of honor duties.

She never spoke to House again after that and her relationship with Stacy became strained by their one year wedding anniversary. Stacy knew a little bit of what happened but not the full thing. Cuddy didn't realize how long she had been sitting in her car in her parking spot in the lot at the hospital until she heard Wilson tapping on her window and motioning for her to come inside. Allison was standing outside the car with him, House was slowly limping his way towards the entrance. Allison grabbed both her and Wilson's hands and started walking towards House. She was babbling on about some cartoon or something. Cuddy was in a slight daze, she didn't really know what to make of this whole situation, one she definitely didn't expect to be in today. All four of them rode the elevator up to the oncology floor and House, Wilson and Allison got off the elevator. "Miss Lisa are you coming with us.?" Allison asked so sweet and innocently. "No sweetie my office is on the next floor. Go explore Uncle Jimmy's office and when you're done he'll bring you up to mine okay?" Allison shook her head up and down enthusiastically and grasped Wilson's hand as he lead her towards his office. Cuddy hit the button for the next floor and the doors started to close when a cane shot between the door and the wall and it opened again. House limped back into the elevator and the door closed itself again.

The tension in the elevator was unbearable and thank goodness they only had to ride it up one more floor. Cuddy got off the elevator and House followed. He followed her right into her office and stood by the door while she went around to sit in her chair. He looked at her for a long time, just looked and Cuddy felt slightly creeped out by it. She was just about to speak up when he started to talk. "You know Allison really seems to like you, of course she likes everyone. She's a very trusting little girl. Wait until she finds out everyone lies." Cuddy just rolled her eyes at him. She hadn't spoken to him in six years and THIS was the conversation they were going to have? "Well maybe she won't have to find that out at quickly as some people." Cuddy said not really paying attention to what was coming out of her mouth or realizing it didn't make a ton of sense.

"You know Cuddy I haven't spoken to you in almost seven years." House said. Great segue into this conversation Cuddy thought. "Yes I'm aware of that being one of the two of us." House smirked a little at that. "Stacy has cancer. Stage four. She's terminal. Wilson is going to be treating her for the remainder of the time." Cuddy's face fell. No way was she expecting news like that. "She's….. Dying?" Cuddy asked hoping he was playing some delusional mind game with her. "Yes and she made me promise I would make up with you before that happened. She said she doesn't want to die with left behind vengeances and petty fights flying around whether they're hers or not. So I'm sorry" He said as he turned to leave her office. "Hold it!" Cuddy yelled at him and he turned around and shut the door. "You think after the way you treated me on your wedding day, not speaking to me in six years you can just waltz in here, say your wife is dying say you're sorry and walk away? It doesn't work like that House. You know why? Because you're not sorry. You're feeling bad that your wife is dying, you're saying this out of guilt for that, you don't actually care. I'm going to go apologize to Stacy for leaving her life for six years and not being there for her when she was pregnant and not even knowing she had a daughter, but you can just save the pity party and the act. You and I will never be able to get along House. Especially when you're so insincere."

House just looked at her some more. This time his eyes were filled with something else. Something more like, sorrow? Guilt? Regret? "Cuddy, you know I'm not good with feelings and emotions and all that garbage. I guess I don't know how to make a sincere apology. All I know is with Stacy being the way she is, I've had time to think some things over too. I didn't have nearly enough time with her. I fought with her for four months after my surgery, I scammed the both of you for the first three months of she and my's relationship and the last three months of ours. By being in this fight with you I've kept you two apart for six years and now you won't have nearly enough time with her either, even if you two make up today. Allison definitely isn't going to have enough time with her. She knows her mom is sick, but she doesn't know she's dying. How do you tell that to a three year old? My point is even though I don't seem sorry, I really am. Stacy and I both think it's a good idea that you get to know Allison. You were both a big part of our lives once and we want you to be a part of hers too. Especially once Stacy is gone. She'll need someone to talk about all those stupid girly things with." House looked down at his cane and Cuddy could feel the tears slipping out of the corners of her eyes. She did the only thing she felt like she could do. She walked around the front of her desk and pulled House into a giant hug. He was stunned at first but then awkwardly wrapped his left arm around her and squeezed back. "I guess after hearing something like that I have to forgive you, you big idiot" Cuddy said smiling through her tears. "Just one more thing, did you have to call me a dragon lady in front of your daughter?" Cuddy asked seriously. "Now come on I may be apologizing here but I have a reputation to uphold. Don't want people to think I'm going soft now that I'm a family man." Cuddy laughed just as the door to her office opened and Allison bounded in followed by Wilson. She grabbed on to her Dad's good leg and asked Cuddy about different things in her office. Cuddy was happy to explain them to her.

After everyone had left her office and she had made plans along with Wilson to meet at the House residence for dinner next Tuesday evening Cuddy collapsed in her chair. She turned on her radio low in the background and shut her eyes. A slow song was playing which seemed to already be part way over. She listened to the soft lyrics coming from her speakers:

As bad as it was

As bad as it hurt

I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved

Sometimes life leads you down a different road

When you're holding on to someone but you gotta let go

Someday you'll see the reason why

Sometimes there's good in goodbye

Cuddy slowly smiled to herself as the song continued. No back in college she never would have seen this coming, and she wouldn't be where she was today if she hadn't said goodbye to House. But just because there's good in goodbye didn't mean there was any harm in saying hello again somewhere along the line.

A/N: And that's a wrap kids. I hope it wasn't a total screwup. I love reviews especially because this is my first House fic. Need to know if it's worth writing more of them! xoxo