SUPER FUN HAPPY SLIDE OF HAPPY FUN
A short story by xXxHappySlidexXx
There once was a dude and his name was Harry Potter. Harry was a shy dude what never meant anyone no harm. One day Harry was walking down the boulevard of broken dreams when he came across a mysterious package just lying there in the middle of the road. The package was wrapped in brown paper and tied up with string. "A package in the middle of the road?" Harry asks himself rhetorically (and somewhat redundantly to the narration that just described it as such). He walks out into the street picks it up taking it back to the sidewalk so that no cars hit it. "Fucking litterers. Don't people know that litter killed my parents? TT_TT oh god, mom. She never saw that plastic bag coming." Harry was suddenly so lost in his super sudden and totally not a plot device flashback that he failed to notice that the package was addressed to him. No wait that's dumb, he totally notices that. " :O !" So dumbfounded by this revelation was he, that he somehow verbally expressed a surprised emoticon and six exclamation marks. Clearly, the use of so many exclamation marks is the sign of a deranged mind; however, the sanity of Harry's mind is not the point of this story so we'll move on.
The vermillion sun beat down on the dusty pavement like a thing that beats stuff. The pavement in kind hissed with an audible sizzle of heat waves. The lonely road meandered through the charming little town of New Frogstonville like an ancient riverbed that lost its water in epochs long gone. Blah blah etc. Twenty lines of not very good scenery porn later, Harry finally decides to open the damn box. Inside the box… is nothing. Now when I say there was nothing in the box, I don't mean the box was empty. An empty box would be something. There was nothing inside the box. Not even air was in the box. For air too is something. The Nothing consumed the box it was now free of and it also ate Harry for the hell of it. Now having a taste for human flesh, it went on to become a powerful warlord and rule all of Japan. There was much rejoicing. Draco was there too. THE END.
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