Like they flirted when battles were to be won, and Will came in like Don Juan. It was honestly better than an opera.
Yea man I agree. Then Will would go on singing about the color red and how he felt his soul was on fire and about how black was his world if Nico wasn't there. And then something else about red being the color of desire and black being the color of despair. Crazy.
But Octavian was like 'who cares about your lonely soul?. We strive toward a larger goal. Our little lives don't count at all!' And Will and Nico were straight up ready to punch him.
And then they did and a bunch of blood came out and they went on about singing how red was the blood of angry men because he was very angry. And that black was the dark of ages past. I think they were drunk because Will put Nico on his shoulder saying that red was a world about to dawn and then Nico finished with "Black, the night that ends at last" before toppling over.
Percy and Jason then just walked up and carried the two of them away while sighing out of shame. And Will went on about how his knuckles hurt but he couldn't figure out why. He asked Percy if he punched a cat. Jason almost dropped Nico from laughing so hard.
Nico had an awful flashback because the last time Jason carried him somewhere it did not end well
Percy was having a hard time dragging Will because Will is a large man. He kept slipping from his shoulder
Nico however was like a grape compared to Jason, who only needed one arm to carry the tiny emo
Percy wondered why he even grabbed Will and not Nico and decided to switch with Jason, which consisted of them gently placing the two on the floor and crossing over to get with their new drunk buddy
Jason reluctantly grabbed Will and dragged him by the leg. Will didn't care that he was being pulled through the grass, his angle gave him a nice view of Nico's butt from where Percy was carrying him
But then Will noticed that Nico sat on a ketchup packet because, the one day he doesn't wear black jeans, the red stained the back of his blue ones. Will started laughing hysterically and Jason nor Percy could figure out why. Nico only stared off in the distance thoughtfully
Jason, in confusion looks at where will was looking (ofc he was looking and Death Boy's butt) and notices Nico's pants. "Nico? Are you on your period?" Percy dropped the poor boy on his head. Will laughed harder/
Will gave Jason a stare between his laughter that said "if you ever look at my boyfriend's butt again I'm gonna break your wrist and never heal them" and Jason couldn't tell if he was supposed to be scared because the stare still held warmth to it, like Will was still happy. Nico was heard sobbing in the distance as Percy squirmed in his skin before he remembered that Nico was a boy...or so he thought.
Will kicked himself free from Jason to check on Nico's head injury. When he got there he put his hands on Nico's face and sang "flower gleam and glooow, let your powers shine, make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine..." Percy and Jason simultaneously gasped, Will was the lost princess
Percy pulled out his Nokia 3000 and dialed the castle to alert them that they've located the lost princess. Jason ran around frantically, forgetting he was a knight sent to protect the princess if she was ever found. Nico was slowly coming around after Will's healing
During the panic, Octavian caught up to them and tried to kidnap Princess Will to use his magic hair. But just as he got behind Will to grab him, Nico released a blood curdling scream and Octavain exploded instantly. Like he literally just exploded into dust. Just then the Knights of King Apollo arrived to collect the lost princess
The Knights of Apollo helped get Will into the chariot to bring him back to the castle, with the lead knight Jason calling the shots. The other Knights, reluctantly, brought Nico and Percy along too, leaving the Octavian dust pile for the city cleanup crew to deal with. They soon began their journey to Apollo's Castle
When they arrived Nico and Will were both sleeping off hangover in the chariot. The Knights woke them up before barging into the throne room where Apollo sat wistfully playing the triangle. Will was mildly concerned that this loser was his real dad, as Jason and Percy were ceremoniously dancing to the King's sick triangle beats in attempts to please him
Will stumbled as he walked into the throne room, still hungover. Though his stumbling must have looked like dance moves because Apollo began playing the triangle harder, thus making everyone in the throne room drop what they were doing and jam to those sick beats. Apollo decided to crown Percy as his jester because he was dancing the hardest as well as the best.
Nico however was too hungover to do anything but lay on the floor which made King Apollo severely uncomfortable. So he played his triangle harder, no one could resist them even sicker beats! But alas Nico did not move and Apollo played the sickest beats ever played on the triangle. Nico still did not move, the King then decreed that Nico was forever banish from the kingdom. However, out of an act of true love, Princess Will stood before his father and heroically protested "but daddy I love him!"
Meanwhile, Apollos too-sick-beats gave everyone else in the throne room seizures. Apollo thought over his son's heroic protest. "What do you have to offer me, my child?"
Will sat dumbfounded. Why did he need to offer anything to his dad for love? He felt his pockets and looked around to see what he could offer.
"Dad, I don't have anything to give you. But I love this man with all my heart. I have been gone from the kingdom for years and I know I haven't been home with you that whole time, but I found true love in the outside world. If you banish him, you have to banish me too."
"Apollo's face was red from holding in a laugh. "Nah fam I was just kidding lmao you should've seen your face. You can keep him"
"You two are so cute #otp lmao" Apollo continued smiling down proudly at his gay son. "I arranged for you to be married at dAWN" Everyone snapped out of their seizures and started crying, birds were singing, cancer was cured, Mufasa lived, everything was beautiful.
The next day, at dawn as promised, the wedding ceremony began. Mufasa was the best man to Will and Nico looked stunning in his Calvin Klein (how tf you spell his name) wedding dress. He had a bouquet of sunflowers and was walked down the aisle by Apollo himself. The priest was Kronk and the music was played by slip knot. It was the most beautiful wedding the land had ever witnessed
"And they all lived happily ever after (except Octavian who rotted as a pile of dust in the middle of the street)