It was a quiet, uneventful day in the castle of Hogwarts..er, school of Hogwarts. Just kidding. Seriously, when is it quiet in Hogwarts? Anyway, in the Gryffindor common room, Mr. and Mr. Fred and George Weasely were being their usual selves, Harry, and Ron were playing wizarding chess, Hermione was, of course, playing strip poker. Again, kidding, she was actually reading a book, and Ginny was doing her potions homework for the ugly bat, with other random, unmetioned people milling around. This is where our story (crackfic) begins.
"Hermione, what do you know about...you know what? Never mind." Harry looked up at Ron in a funny manner. Hermione looked up from her book and tilted her head.
"Ron, what do I know about what? It's politically incorrect to start a question and then not finish it. How can you learn something if you don't ask questions?" She sounded horrified at the concept. Ron looked a little annoyed at Hermione. Harry sighed deeply.
"Sorry Hermione I'm not a know-it-all like you! Apparently, I'm also not a politically correct person!" Hermione narrowed her eyes in a 'Oh-no-you-didn't' way.
"Well, Ronald, it's common sense and tact, which apparently, you don't have. Now, what's your question?" Ron glared at the table and slammed his knight down. "Hey!" Harry was, of course, ignored.
"I changed my mind. Okay? And-"
"Oh, like you have a mind to change. The only thing you change is what you eat."
"Oh, yeah! Well-"
"Children, children, please.." Fred (or George?) said sitting on the couch.
"Keep it down. It's difficult to plan successful pranks when there's naughty children fighting." George sighed, looking at Ron and Hermione like they were hippos playing leapfrog. Fred shook his head.
"Haven't you guys heard the whole 'World Peace' idea?"
":And Ronniekins is so smart he has two brains. One's lost and the other one is looking for it!" George looked quite proud of his both-erm, I mean, brother. Hermione looked flustered and glared at them.
"What do you guys know about world peace? All you two do is cause chaos! It's not my fault Ron is a politically incorrect person and has no tact." Harry looked back and forth between everyone and decided to speak up.
"Guys-"
"No! Stay out of this Harry! I know you like Ron better than me and you're going to take his side so just don't say anything!" Hermione glared at Harry, looking near tears. Harry visibly flinched and wisely stayed quiet,
knowing the wrath of The Bush (aka Crazy Brown haired chick(aka Hermione)).
"Hermione, just because I changed my mind about something doesn't mean that you can just explode! There's no need to be such...such, an overeactive girl! You're always crying or reading and when you're not doing that, you're studying for some exam that's months away! So why don't you shut up and stop agruing and picking fights with everyone you see!" Even Ginny looked up at Ron's angry rant. Fred whistled lowly into the stunned silence.
"Never knew you had it in you Ron. Never knew..." He trailed off at Hermione's killer glare. She slammed her book shut and stood up dramatically, glaring daggers at Ron who was too mad to understand that he should be cowering in fear. Her voice got dangerously low and quiet.
"Ronald Weasely, if you would stop being an ignorant, selfish prat for two seconds, then maybe you would realize that you're the one who started this agruement. You are so sexist, thinking that girls are overeactive and emotional when you're being a hypocrite, doing those very things you accused girls of being. I just wanted you to finish your question. There was no need to react in the childish way you did." She stood there, glaring at Ron, who was deflated from her insults (assuming he knew what she meant).
"Wow, Gred and I, we knew there was some sort of sexual tension between you guys..." Hermione looked appalled and Ron glared at them intensely, showing his hate through his eyes.
"But this is more than even WE knew about. And we know everything." Fred nodded, supporting his other half. Ginny rolled her eyes.
"Too bad you can't remember it all." She muttered to herself. Harry grinned and nodded his head, while everyone one else ignored it or didn't hear the sentence.
"Th-T-There isn't any...any s-sexual tension-n between me and Hermione!" Ron sputtered. Ginny snickered.
"Hermione and I." Hermione corrected absentmindly, staring at the twins in disbelief. Then she seemed to snap out of it and shook her head.
"Stupid as he is" She annoyingly at Ron, " he's right. There is absolutely is no sexual tension, nor will there ever be." Fred raised an eyebrow and looked at George, who shook his head. Fred smirked at Hermione.
"So Ronniekins isn't attractive enough for you? Can't blame you, everyone knows who got the good looks in this family."
"Well, she must be desperate enough to see something in him because there's obviously some sexual tension between them." Fred nodded and added to his brother's statement.
"Quite a bit by the sound of it, too." Hermione looked like she was strangle them. She took a deep breath and said each word diliberately and slowly.
"There. Is. No. Sexual. Tension. Between. Ron. And. I." George looked back and forth between her and Ron before shaking his head.
"No, there IS sexual tension between you guys. You're just in denial." Ron started to speak.
"No there isn't!" Fred smirked his annoying smirk and nodded his head up and down.
"And now you're in denial about being in denial." Hermione looked like she was about to cry from frustration.
"We aren't in denial about being in denial!" The two twins laughed.
"And now you're in denial about being in denial about being in denial."
"Ughh! We are NOT in denial about being in denial about being in denial! And don't you dare say that we're in denial about being in denial about being in denial about being in denial!" She glared at them very intensely. They laughed again.
"If you say so..." They said together, making her make a sound like an angry cat.
"There is no sexual tension between me and Hermione." "Hermione and I" she corrected. "because I'm gay! I was gonna ask her what she knew about pleasuring a man!" Everyone except Harry and Ginny looked shocked at that. Ron stared at them, panting, for a moment before he clapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. Harry turned to Ginny.
"You knew?" She shrugged.
"He never told me but I say him checking out Flint's ass the one day. How did you know?" He shrugged.
"He's my roommate. I heard him moaning Sirius's name the one day..." He trailed off. She nodded understandingly.
"I've heard him too." Hermione slowly turned to Ron with tears in her eyes.
"You're gay...? You don't...like me? I'm not...not, attractive enough for you? I..." Ron looked uncomfortable.
"Sorry, Mione I just..." She glared at him, wiping away tears.
"Don't worry Ronald! I understand. You don't think I'm attractive enough. Let me guess, I'm SOO ugly that I made you swear off women, didn't ?"
"I-" Ron started but she had already grabbed her book and ran up the stairs, crying. Harry shook his head.
"Way to go Ron. We almost had two straight days without a fight." He went up the boy's staircase, muttering under his breath. Ginny stood up.
"I'm gonna go make sure she's alright, since this git made her cry..." Grabbing her potion's homework, she cast one more angry glance at Ron before running upstairs. The boys stared at each other for a moment in silence.
"Well, nice and awkward as this is, Feorge and me have to...wash our house elf. Excuse us." They too left Ron who stared at all the random, unmetioned people looking at him.
"Well, time to check out Malfoy, the sexy ferret."
TA DA! Okay, first I want everyone to know, I have nothing against homosexuals/bisexuals. Just so everyone knows that. I also, dissappointingly as it is, don't own the Harry Potter series. Sorry. So, there you have it. I'm going to do a commentary on this next chapte...so look out for that. Later!