Romeo and Juliet - Ranma style
The story from the manga
When you read the manga you may wonder why their play won when it seemed a little confusing from the audiences view. This is what I think it must have seemed like for the audience to watch Ranma and Akane in the 'Romeo and Juliet' play. Some words have been changed (one or two and that's it)
You may want to read the manga while reading this to see how everything fits in. If you don't have the manga why not go to .com go to the directory and select the Ranma ½ manga. It's Vol 8 pg 95 – 113 if you have the actual manga its book 7 pg 32 – 67
Romeo and Juliet
Juliet stood on her balcony. It had been weeks since she saw that figure walking in the garden. He had left a declaration of his love for her, her cherished Romeo. But she had never seen him.
"Oh Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo?" She called out into the garden. Sadly four men appeared.
"MY JULIET!" a short older man called out as he leaped for the balcony.
"Uh...What man art thou!" The terrified Juliet exclaimed. Before he could reach the balcony the second man stopped him. She recognised him as one of the lords in the area.
"NO I AM ROMEO!" he called out as he fought the old man.
"NO!! I'M ROMEO!" A man with his hair tied in a pigtail yelled, joining the fight. He was of a family, whom were bitter enemies with the fair Juliet's Family. It was obvious the story of Juliet's love for Romeo was fast spreading, for any man that wanted her fair hand claimed to be he. She nervously watched the fight below her balcony, Unsure of which man was her real love. The fourth man seemed to pull himself from the balcony rails. Juliet let out a scream as he approached her slowly.
"I knew I couldn't beat them in combat...So I disguised myself as the balcony." Juliet was sure this was not her Romeo and she stepped back in fear. Suddenly the victor of the fight below, the boy with the pig tail, leaped onto the balcony throwing the imposter down.
"Juliet!" he exclaimed as he turned to face his love. Juliet looked into the eyes of this handsome man. She could see the deep love in his eyes, the love her eyes seemed to show him.
"Oh Romeo." She smiled as she held her hand to her chest. Her heart felt it would leap from her chest. They stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, unable to calm her fluttering heart, she diverted her gaze to the ground.
"Oh Romeo." She whispered. Romeo seemed to fall toward her, embracing her in his arms. As he stepped back he looked over his shoulder, hoping their families would not see them. He turned to her, his strong hands on her shoulders, as he looked into her love filled eyes.
"Oh Juliet."
"R...Romeo?"
"I pledge my troth to marry thee...And take over thy father's dojo."
"Father's dojo?" She questioned. She didn't care how unusual his request was. Her love seemed to overflow at the thought of marriage to him. Romeo suddenly tripped and almost landed in a kiss. Juliet blushed, looking into his eyes. Was this happening? Was this going to be true loves kiss?
Romeo pulled himself away; Juliet seemed to furiously wave her arms around, fanning herself as she went bright red
"Enough!...Nothin's making me kiss her!" Juliet Stepped back, her heart broken and tears in the corner of her eyes. In a sudden rage of fury she pulled a branch from a tree over looking her balcony,
"I'm Not exactly begging to kiss you either!" She cried out as she threw the branch at him. Romeo jumped back, dodging the branch.
He landed on the ground below and said to himself
"I won't kiss her! I won't! BUT I'M STILL ROMEO!" He called out. Juliet sadly looked down at him. Was he really Romeo? Or was he really after her family's precious dojo, as he had exclaimed. His deep loving eyes still were imprinted into her mind.
The other three men Approached Romeo and laughed. Romeo faced them; clenching his hands into fist He readied himself for another fight.
"Surely the inability to kiss the fair maiden is grounds for impeachment." The Lord laughed
"You surely can't be Romeo!" The old man added. The third just laughed quietly, looking down on Romeo.
"Hit the showers!" The old man said as he showed strength belying his age, tossing Romeo through the air.
"YOU MORONS! I SAID...." But before he could finish his sentence he looked at the beautiful Juliet, her eyes fierce as she yelled out to him
"THEN YOU DON'T MIND IF THE LORD KISSES ME? OR MAYBE YOU'D RATHER HAVE THE OLD MAN DO IT?" Romeo felt like a sword had pierced his heart as Juliet's tears fell to the ground, her back turned to him as she put her hands behind her and gripped the rails of the balcony. The other three men all ran to her side, scaling up to the balcony as if it were never there.
"Now my Juliet..." The lord and old man said in unison.
"Both of you just GO AWAY!" Juliet screamed as she pushed the three from the balcony. She watched the three lay on the ground below. Maybe he was not Romeo. Maybe he was really just a fake? The lord was first to rise and climb her balcony once again.
"Come to me, Juliet!"
"O Romeo!" She said as she reached out to embrace the lord. His eyes were frenzied with a wild passion, passion for her but not the love she had seen in 'his' eyes.
"NO! I just can't do it!" She said as she pushed him off the balcony again and fell to her knees. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes. As she looked up into the night sky she gasped as a net fell upon her. The old man scooped up the captured girl and darted across the garden.
"Time for the wedding! The Wedding!" he pronounced. A servant passing by saw the scene and called out
"Poor Juliet is captured by an evil beast intent on..."
"Who are you calling a beast!" The old man snapped as he knocked the servant unconscious.
A Hand reached out from the net and grabbed the shirt of the old man.
"Oh Romeo...." a melodious voice sang out, pulling the old man closer. It was none other than the sister of the fair Juliet, Julie. Seeing the earlier events she had quickly freed her sister and took her place. She only wished to rid her sister of these vulgar men so that Juliet could be happy with her true love Romeo. In fact it was Romeo that asked her for her help. Before the old man could recognize her in the dark she brought a bottle to his mouth
"Let's drink a little wedding toast!" she sweetly said. It did not take long for the strong alcohol to intoxicate the old man. As he danced around and balanced on the empty bottles he cried out
"WA-HOO! WHADDA WEDDIN'! HOOOO!" Julie giggled as she encouraged him to drink more
"O, Romeo, the way you suck on that bottle is so manly!" She slyly smiled as she watched his intoxication grow stronger. He still had no idea that she was not really Juliet. She placed her gentle hand into her bosom
"Let me give you a token of my love." She cooed as she pulled out a bra. The old man's eyes grew large as he looked upon the lacy piece of clothing before him. Julie dropped the bra into a barrel, the old man following it. She moved quickly, nailing the barrel shut and tying it securely she happily exclaimed "ONE DOWN!"
As she smiled at her work it didn't take long for the lord to embrace her into his arms.
"My one and only Juliet!" he sighed. Julie was quick to kick him away "Oh WHEREFORE ART THOU, ROMEO?" She yelled out. But the lord was strong and could take a punch; he had already survived all of Juliet's rejections. "Right here JULIET!" He said as he thrust one of Julie's bottles of alcohol into her mouth. One of her family's guards ran to the scene
"SAY YOU THERE! The consumption of Alcohol by minors is..." The lord sliced the guard's sword into several pieces, He stared the guard down as he lowered his voice to one that along with his sword skills struck fear into the guards heart "It is not Alcohol, it is the DEW of LOVE." The guard backed away in fear but the lord disposed of him quickly. A hiccup drew his attention back to Julie, the dark disguising her as her sister Juliet. He held his sword toward her
"Into my embrace, Dear Juliet, if LIFE you value." He said as he watched her sway side to side. Julie raised her hands "oooo-kay. You ashked fer it, Romeo..." Her words slurred as she could feel the effects of the alcohol. The lord swung his sword at her "Feel my loves kiss upon your heart!" He declared as she clumsily fell to the ground, dodging the attack. Little did the lord know that this was not the first time Julie had been drunk, nor did he know she was a master at the legendary DRUNK FU. With one swift move she raised her leg into a strong kick as she yelled out "YEAH! HOW 'BOUT A LI'L DRUNK-FU?!" As the lord charged at her again he watched in shock as she slumped to the ground in deep sleep. He suddenly wondered if it was alcohol or poison he had given her. He rushed to her side and despite her being Not Juliet but Juliet's sister he still could see such beauty.
"Ah dear Juliet...Why art thou yet so fair?" He pulled her closer to his face as he quietly said "Thus with a kiss...I die."
"I THINK YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG JULIET!" A Voice strongly called out. The lord glared behind him at the one that might disturb his much wanted kiss. There stood the beautiful Juliet, sword in hand
"You want to fight Juliet? Fight me!" She angrily looked at her poor sister in this boorish mans arms. How dare he touch her sister! The lord's face seemed to spring to life, joyous tears ran down his face as a broad smile spread upon his lips "It is the east! And Juliet the sun! On guard! And should I win...you are MINE!" He jumped to his feet and begun sword fighting. He forced her backwards toward her bedrooms balcony. "To challenge Kuno with the sword is to SURRENDER before you BEGIN!" He knocked the sword from her hand and held her against the wall. All she could think was 'he said Kuno. That is his name. He is not my Romeo.'
"And NOW...The love scene." He said. Juliet's eyes grew fearful as she looked at the lust in his eyes.
"ROMEO YOU TWO TIMER!" Julie yelled as she kicked him to the ground.
"No fair I'M JULIET!" Juliet snapped at her sister. Oh how she wanted to be the one that beat the vulgar Kuno. "SO you want a 'love scene' with Kuno?" Julie noted.
"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" Juliet denied.
"So stay outta this!" Julie snapped back as she pulled Kuno up by the front of his shirt. She placed her hands either side of his face and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Juliet watch on in pure shock as Kuno wrapped his arms around her sister, accepting her kiss. Julie pulled herself away from his embrace took his hand and ran out the garden.
Juliet watched on as her sister took advantage of Kuno's shocked pleasure and tied him up tightly. "Two down!" Julie said, unaware her sister had seen her. Juliet realised...It was Romeo that had approached her sister... It was Romeo that wanted some help. Did he hate her that much that he could not bring himself to kiss her? Yet her sister whom hated the lord Kuno had easily kissed him just to distract him. Romeo must really despise her to not kiss her. At that moment Romeo emerged from the bushes. He had fought his way through the guards this whole time, trying to get back into the castle to the side of his fair maiden.
"Do you hate me that much?" She asked; her back turned to him. Romeo paused, unsure of her sudden doubt. "For me my sister kissed Kuno and yet YOU WILL NOT KISS ME!" She yelled as she turned and slapped him across the cheek.
"I guess I know where I stand." She said as she walked away.
"H-Hey wait!" Romeo started as he watched her leave.
Oh what will become of Romeo and Juliet? Juliet took her sword and cut her hair short yet this did not deter the determined Romeo.
"What're you so mad about?!" He questioned as he stormed after her. "After what I went through you're just going to leave me hanging?!"
"You know you loved it." She claimed as she refused to look into his angry eyes.
"OH FORGIVE ME!" Kuno said as he managed to rise to his feet, still bound by Julie's ropes.
"My lips met the lips of another!" He continued. Romeo looked at some tape stuck to Kuno's cheek. It made sense now. Julie had stuck tape upon his mouth in order that her lips would not really meet the lips of that man she despised so much. If Julie really didn't kiss the lord then Juliet may not be so mad that he did not kiss her!
"What's this?" Romeo victoriously asked Kuno.
"A souvenir of my love." The braggart Kuno replied. Romeo pushed him to the ground turning to Juliet
"You see! This proves it!" he exclaimed showing Juliet the tape. But as Juliet turned to see his evidence a rag soaked in poison was pressed to her mouth and nose by the third imposter.
"GET OFF ME!" Juliet screamed as she pushed his hands away from her mouth. Her vision became fuzzy as she felt herself fall into the imposters arms. The imposter held a weapon to her throat "Come a step closer and Juliet dies!" Romeo froze,
"You slimy little..." He began. The imposter turned "Now Juliet, let us be off and..." But before he could move Kuno had managed to escape the ropes and defeat the imposter with a single move.
"JULIET!" He called out
"Now that I have kissed another, it is only honourable that I do the same for you." His real love for Juliet was still for her beauty as his lips got closer to hers. Romeo delivered a crippling kick
"It wasn't for real I said!" And with that he lifted Juliet up in his arms
"Wake up!" He called out to her, yet for all Romeo's loving entreaties Juliet does not awaken.
Juliet sleeps the sleep of death. But wait...There is one way to awaken her. A kiss from her beloved Romeo. The poison had not yet reached her heart and if Romeo could kiss her, surely their pure love will purify the poison. Romeo was quick to be by her side and yet all he could do was stare at her beauty. He gently leaned over her, bringing his face close to hers when he froze once again, unable to move.
"Admit defeat, you ersatz Romeo!" Kuno said as he ran to battle Romeo for one final time.
"If there is love, one mere public kiss is..." but before Kuno could finish his speech, before he could even yield his weapon, Romeo's fury turned on him and he was defeated within seconds.
"Maybe I'm just a little more SHY than you, Kuno." Romeo stated to the motionless lord that lay at his feet. Julie had explained things to her father and, willing to put a long family grudge aside for his daughters own life, he angrily approached Romeo yelling
"DO YOU HATE MY JULIET SO MUCH?!"
"DON'T BE A MORON!" Romeo yelled back. "If I didn't care..." Romeo continued. He looked at Juliet and he could feel his emotions, fear for her life, his love for her, and every other emotion that inhabited his body, build up inside him. Finally closing his eyes he yelled out loudly "If I didn't care THIS WOULDN'T BE SO DAMN HARD!" As he trembled at her side he felt a weak tug on his hair. Opening his eyes he saw Juliet awake. She was weak and the poison was obviously spreading
"O Romeo..." Her weak voice whispered. Romeo bounced around yelling out for help, for a doctor, but his words came out as gibberish.
"Romeo." Juliet's weak, strained words reached his ears, pulling him back to her side. 'She's...So Cute.' Romeo thought as he gazed upon her. O how badly he had wanted his lips to touch hers this whole time, How badly he wanted to feel their love through a kiss, but the thought of him kissing one so beautiful and pure caused his knees to tremble and his heart to pound. He feared that if he kissed her, his heart would never stop. Juliet's hands slowly reached for his face, he looked back at her. Her last bit of energy and she just wanted to touch him. All fear thrown aside he allowed her to guide his lips to hers and they kissed a passionate kiss, one of true love.