Chapter 1: In London.
Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy sat back in his favourite chair in his London library. He selected a book and poured himself a glass of port. That's what he liked above all the pleasures of London: an evening of calm away from the rest of the world. The fire burned well so he was warm. Georgiana has gone to visit some friends with her companion Mrs Annesley. He opened the book and began to read:
Is it thy will thy image should keep open
My heavy eyelids to the weary night?
Dost thou desire my slumbers should be broken,
While shadows like to thee do mock my sight?
Is it thy spirit that thou send'st from thee
So far from home into my deeds to pry
To find out shames and idle hours in me,
The scope and tenour of thy jealousy?
Oh no! thy love though much is not so great:
It is my love that keeps mine eye awake
My own true love that doth my rest defeat,
To play the watchman ever for thy sake.
For thee watch I, whilst thou doth wake elsewhere,
From me far off, with others all too near. (*)
The book fell from Darcy's hands. Why does this sonnet seems so real to me? Of course, Elizabeth! He thought back when he last saw her and that fateful day when he asked her to be his wife. Instead of seeing love in her eyes that he so dearly wished, she looked upon him with contempt and hate. He thought when he had given his letter that it was finished and resolved not ever think of her again. He prided himself to have succeeded but this sonnet made him realise he was not at all over it.
He relived the whole scene at the Hunsford parsonage and his words this fateful day. How could I say those things? No wonder she refused me! How could I insult her and her family so? Her angry words came flooding back "had you behaved in a more gentleman like manner!", "Your manners impressed me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others" How true! She made light of my behaviour! How I respect her now! She is a woman who only marries for love and not for material reasons! I am ashamed to think she would be very happy to accept me! I see now she never encouraged me at Hunsford! Blind and fool man!
He remembered the last line of the sonnet "From me far off, with others all too near." She is far from me because of my own stupid pride! How I could say she was 'not handsome enough to tempt me"? I know now she is the only woman in England who can tempt me. She is too close to... George Wickham. He hoped she believed his letter as concerned Wickham, but he was so bitter and angry when he wrote it. My god! If that scoundrel does any harm to her, I could not bear it!
She gave him a new insight into himself. He saw now that his arrogance and his insistence on the preservation of rank cut him off from very interesting people and from a woman he very much wanted to become more than an acquaintance! People can be good despite their humble stations. I must exercise myself to talk more and get interested in other people's lives and interests and not be so self-centered! Maybe she will hear of the new Darcy and change her mind! But no, that's impossible I have turned her from me forever! Oh Elizabeth! Find it in you heart to forgive me, please. I promise I would do better from now on!
Darcy kept his promise. His friends and acquaintances were surprised to see the softer and more accessible Darcy. Darcy himself found he was much happier than before. But his mind was in turmoil. Every night he dreamed of her. He alternated between nightmares of the proposal at Hunsford and dreams of considerable happiness when he imagined Elizabeth as his wife.
Finally he decided to come back to Pemberley. He missed his home! His business with his steward caused him to come back earlier. The rest of the party, Bingley and his sisters and Georgiana, would arrive some time later.
(*) Shakespeare's sonnets: Sonnet LXI (61)