Hey what's up, this is Registered User. I know I haven't been active for a while, and I'm sorry about that. Things have been happening, but you don't wanna hear about that. You wanna read some of my new shit. And new shit I got. I'm starting a series that follows Medusa beginning her war against Death. This will span several different crossovers, and will be nothing less than epic. To begin, we go to the sleepy town of Gravity Falls

From the diary of Medusa

Although direct action didn't begin as soon as I wished it would have, my war against the Shinigami began several years ago in my mind and in my soul. I swore that I would kick him off his pedestal, bringing his whole world down around him. Why, you ask? I have reasons. Besides, how often do you get to say that you took down Death? One thing that I hate is how people brag about how they "cheated Death". Fools; all he did was stall so he can put up a new shelf to put your soul when your time does come. And you don't even know it. While you boast, and celebrate your apparent victory with drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and thrill-seeking, he's sitting on his throne, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, waiting for that one thing you do that takes your wild living too far. Then, and only then, will he capitalize on your one fatal mistake. And the tall tales you told of how you escaped him once become irrelevant as you realize that he had you where he wanted you the whole damn time, playing you for a fool. I knew this, but yet I wanted to beat him at his own game.

But of course I couldn't just waltz into DWMA and demand a mono-a-mono challenge. After all, the Green Knight did just that, but fought Gawain instead. And even if he did accept a challenge, would I be ready to face King Arthur? I had to prepare myself. As a witch, I know how magic items can be used for power. It's not really my expertise, but I know how. It's the type of magic that college kids mess around with: spells learned from books, cards, Ouija boards, et cetera. Paganism, pretty much. Anyone can do this type of stuff. But I knew that I couldn't beat him with ceremonial magic alone, but any strike against him would be a victory. I had a specific spell in mind, and I needed only one more item to execute it. I had determined that it was somewhere in a sleepy small town named Gravity Falls.

Gravity Falls. Oh god, Gravity Falls. As soon as I arrived and saw what the townspeople were like, I was glad that I brought my migraine medication, because I knew I would be taking a lot of it. Those people, I can't even begin to describe them. To call them oblivious would be an understatement. To call them stupid would be insensitive to stupid people. Let's just say that they were chronically ignorant. If I wasn't as determined as I was, I would've gotten right back on the bus as soon as I stepped off. But besides all that, the town was over-flowing in supernatural energy. I could feel immense power, even in the soil. And yet the inbred locals were somehow unaware of it even though it was right under their damned noses.

There was a lot of energy surrounded by one isolated area, however. A tourist trap called the Mystery Shack. I visited it one day, and the building itself looked like how I felt at that moment. However, I needed the last item, so I took a deep breath, choked down the maximum dose of medication that my doctor allowed along with every over-the-counter painkiller the pharmacy had Noah's Ark style, sucked it up, and walked inside. The place had all sorts of novelty knick-knacks, t-shirts, cheap toys: they were peddling shit, let's leave it at that. A man with an eye-patch approached me.

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack! Where you will find wonders that you'll find nowhere else!" As soon as the words "where you will find" left his lips, I knew this guy was a total phony. He was the very personification of the used car salesman stereotype. He took pride in tricking and manipulating people, as if it's a difficult task. It's really not. Believe me, it's easy.

"Yes, that's what I'm hoping."

"For example, take a look at this strange mutant hare that was found in the woods not too far from here." He pointed to a stuffed jackrabbit with antlers.

"That's a jackelope. People have been doing that since the days of the Old West. It's nothing new."

He hit it with his cane, and dragon wings sprouted.

"Ooo-kaaay."

"Now that was a story. I was just brushing my teeth when it attacked…"

"I though you said that it was found in the woods."

"Yes, I was brushing my teeth in the woods. Now anyway, I could see that it was shot by an arrow with a poison-dipped tip. That was what was driving it wild…"

"Wasn't it wild before?"

"You know what I mean. Poison-dipping is illegal, and with this creature's peculiarity I assumed that it was a poacher who shot it…"

"Uh-huh, that's nice. Now anyway, I wanted to ask you…"

"What is the name of this creature? I myself take a fancy to Jack-Dragon…"

"I don't care about the-the, whatever that thing is."

"Oh? Then can I interest you in our gift shop's endless supply of superficial, material joy?"

"No."

A scowl grew across his face. "Oh. Than allow me to show you the Door of Discovery!" He said, pointing towards the exit.

"Sir, please, hear me out."

"Whaddya want?"

"My name is Mary Damsue. I am a writer, and I'm currently working on a book revolving around various folklores and myths. I've done some research on the legend of the Seeds of Conquest."

With the mention of that name, his whole demeanor changed. He grew dead serious, and even a little scared. He looked around. "How do you know about that? What type of research are you doing?"

"…Intensive research. It's very tiring." It's true; torturing countless paranormal investigators to get the information you want takes a lot of you.

"Well…I might be able to help you out, but not out here. Let's take this to my office."

"Oh, I hope your intentions aren't what I think they are," I joked. But he didn't laugh. No matter. I did my best to put him at ease, and convince him that I'm what I appear to be.

We entered his office, where he shut and locked the doors, turned on a noise maker, and pressed the keys on a keypad. "There. Our conversation is now officially private. No one knows that this is happening. Take a seat."

I sat down, and he grabbed a Bible from a bookshelf and blew the dust off of it. He sat down and took off his eye-patch to reveal that-surprise, surprise-he had two eyes. He opened up to the book of Jonah. "Alright, tell me what you know."

"Well, the story itself is well known. Any child who's ever gone to Sunday school knows it. In the Old Testament, God told the prophet Jonah to deliver a message to the people in the barbaric city of Ninevah. Jonah, believing the people unredeemable, defied the Lord's commands, boarding a ship to escape. But he couldn't escape. A storm arose, and Jonah was thrown overboard by the crew, and he was swallowed up by a giant fish. Some modern-day scholars suggest that it was a whale, but for all intents and purposes it could've been anything. Anyway, he was vomited up on the shore three days later, and traveled to Ninevah. He gave the speech that God wanted him to do, yet, he still felt bitter towards the people in the city. He found a high place to sit and watch God decimate the city. But after a while he didn't. He was getting very hot, so God allowed a plant to grow to

give Jonah shade. In the shade, he waited, and grew impatient. That was when a small pest ate the stem of the plant, and the brat Jonah threw a hissy. God basically told him to quit bitching, and Jonah was left there to his eventual demise."

"But the thing is, the main focus is always on Jonah in the belly of the whale/fish/etc. and the moral of forgiveness and disobedience. What they don't tell you about is that the plant sprouted seeds that were blown in the wind like dandelions."

"And unlike similar legends surrounding biblical items-the Spear of Destiny for example-the seeds are magic in nature due to being created first-hand by God," I concluded.

"Bingo." He closed the Bible. "So here's my question: how does Gravity Falls tie into the myth?"

I crossed my legs. "Many paranormal experts who have contributed to the theory have conducted research in this…wonderful town."

He nodded his head. "Yeah that is true. They say that the plant life in the forests serve a perfect backdrop for their research."

"Wonder where they got that idea from."

He slammed his hand down and laughed. "Because I told them that! Ha ha!"

"But in truth, I was hoping to see if you could help me with my research."

There was something in his eyes. To this day I don't know what, but I knew damn well what it meant. "What makes you think that I know anything?"

"Well, you did just admit that you conned people who take pride in questioning everything down to the last grain of reality."

"Damn right I did."

"So if you can outsmart them, you might know what they don't know."

He scratched his five o' clock shadow, deep in thought. He finally reached a decision. "Alright. I'll do what I can. Swing back here tomorrow morning and I'll see if I can help you."

"Can do." I stood up and shook his hand. I walked out of his office, unable to wipe the smile off my face. 'I see you Pines. I got you, I got you.'

Later that night, I sent snakes out to survey the whole town. I sent five to scout out the Mystery Shack. The old man was hiding something, no doubt. After an hour, one of them found something. "Give me your eyes." I saw Stan inside the Shack, in his underwear of all things. (Sometimes I can still see him when I close my eyes in the dark). I watched him walk up to a soda machine, and put some digits in the keypad. The soda machine moved, revealing a secret passageway. I got back my sight, and called all of my snakes back. "Perfect."

The next day I was there as soon as it opened. I instantly regretted it, and wished I would have waited until later in the afternoon. I was surrounded by sweaty rednecks who smell like they take public baths in a mucky swamp every other month. Only one other person shared my grief and embarrassment; a 9-year old red-haired girl who looked too tall for her age.

"This sucks. I don't know why my dad couldn't have dropped me off somewhere cool."

"Look at it this way kid, you're not working here."

Stan walked over to me. "Hey Mary, I think I've found something that may be of interest to you."

He led me to his office, and handed me a book. "Between the Red Lines: A History of Biblical Secrets by Don Greg," I remarked. "The first time the legend of the Seeds of Conquest was published."

"Yes, but the copy owned by Alexis Johns."

I just gave him a blank stare.

"Alexis Johns. The author of Seeds of Conquest."

"I am aware of who she is."

"Yes, but this was Alexis' personal copy." He opened up the book, and flipped through the pages. All along the sides and other spare spaces there were words written in red ink. "This volume contains notes written by Alexis herself that she used in her own book. But not everything that she wrote down was used in the book. She had things written down that she didn't want others to see." He opened up to a particular page. I read the notes out loud.

"In my research, I've found what suggests that the seeds were first carried around by Jonah himself. After his death, the seeds were lost to the wind. The way that the text emphasized the plural, I've gathered that the seeds were lost together, and have stayed together. Interesting."

"There's more."

I read on. "Whenever treasure hunters thought that they had found the seeds, they were always in a city known for supernatural and/or paranormal activity. Maybe the seeds are attracted to these places? Yes, I've heard of this theory."

"I want you to have it. It's gonna help you with your book."

"Thank you very much. I'm going to enjoy searching through whatever secrets this might contain." I was about to turn and walk away, when I made a decision. I didn't want to raise any suspicions, and I had already made up my mind, but I just wanted to seal the deal. "You don't think the seeds could be anywhere in Gravity Falls do you?"

He chuckled. "You mean this hick-town? Hell no."

"Just a thought." He was lying. As an expert in this field, I know a grade-A lie when I see one. Oh well.

Later that night, I snuck inside the Mystery Shack, hacked the keypad, and walked down the corridor. At the bottom, I saw things I never saw before. There was an entire library of books, many of them magic I assumed, among other things. But one of the most startling things was a giant supercomputer, and something that resembled a portal of some sorts. I continued on my way. I saw an old book with the number one on the cover. I was almost tempted to look through it, but I chose not to. My goal was in sight. I saw a platter with the seeds under a glass. I tiptoed over to them. I felt so proud of myself. This marks another step towards Death's defeat. I took off the glass, and readied the other items.

"Finally, the Seeds of Conquest are mine. Combined with holy water and sacred candles, I release the power of God!"

I closed my eyes, preparing myself. I opened them up and saw…nothing. Nothing happened. "What? How can this be?!"

"Because those aren't the Seeds of Conquest Damsue, or should I say, Medusa?"

I turned around. Stan stood there, holy water and sacred candle in hand.

"You. You set me up. You showed me that page on purpose to lead me on a search for the seeds."

"I never knew that my house would be first on your list."

"All evidence to the contrary."

"Well, I was just being safe."

"From where I stand, you forfeited your safety." I shot a arrow towards Stan. But he was too quick. He set down the candle and water and pulled something out of his pocket.

"The Seeds of Conquest!"

"Combined with holy water and sacred candles I release the power of God!"

From the seeds sprouted vines. He shot them towards my arrow and they collided with an explosion of energy. I released a storm of snakes towards him. One wrapped itself around his neck, choking him. I reveled in his pain.

I guess I jinxed myself, because he lost control over the power of the seeds. Vines shot towards me. I cut most of them with my arrows, but I couldn't get all of them. After struggling with them, one grabbed around my neck, and I got mine. It wasn't enough to kill me, but I lost the battle. Before I lost consciousness, I saw Stan walk towards me, rubbing his throat.

I came back a little while later. I was left lying next to a tape recorder. I played it back. Stan's voice crackled through the speakers.

"It's over Medusa. You're done. I've cast a spell that will block you from ever returning to Gravity Falls. This town has more supernatural energy that anywhere else in North America, but you'll never use it for your advantage and whatever your plans are."

I got up on my feet. "And Medusa." He paused for a moment. "Thanks for visiting the Mystery Shack! Tell your friends!"

The recording ended. I began walking away. So I failed my objective. I felt crushed. But I wasn't deterred. I still had Alexis' copy of Between the Red Lines. I had seen some of the other notes in the book, and I knew where to go next. So maybe I lost the fight, but the war was just beginning.

How was that? You love it, you hate it? What's your opinion? Review and be on the lookout for Medusa's journeys