"Hello Cosima." Dennis her dad, said kissing the top her head and walking around her to take his place at the head of the dinning table. Cosima grinned at him, and he smiled back, waiting for her step mom to come in with dinner. The fireplace in their dinning room crackled and cast yellow light all over the dark green walls with red oak boarding. Janice brought in the golden roast chicken and placed it down with a sparkling smile. Once everything was ready Janice took off her thick oven mitts with a sharp pull and placed them on the side, sitting down and telling everyone to eat up. Cosima stabbed into a load of roast chicken, piled on the veg and lathered everything in thick gravy and began to eat. Janice watched her like a confused animal, gently taking one vegetable at a time and positioning it on her plate. Her other hand holding her necklace in polite nerves. Dennis saw the exchange and laughed it off, Janice had been with him for a year now and she never had any kids of her own, and now she had a 17 year old step-daughter. It would be strange for anyone. Cosima lifted her eyes and caught Janice looking at her, as usual Janice gave back her best smile and looked down at her own food. Cosima shot a look to her dad and they both smiled.
"So Cosima, how is the meal?" Janice asked, putting a small portion of her dinner in her mouth and chewing. Cosima swallowed her huge mouthful and then replied.
"Yeah it's good, delicious even." Cosima smiled and put some more in her mouth and wiping up some gravy that was coming out at the sides of her lips.
"Delicious, my darling." Dennis complimented, putting his hand on top of the table and letting Janice take it in a loving grasp. They were in love. Cosima could see that, it was just always awkward. Janice never had a kid before, and it wasn't as though Cosima was high maintenance or anything. She just kept to herself. "Done anything exciting at school lately? Graduation soon." Dennis asked, looking slowly from Janice to Cosima.
"Yeah, it's getting hella exciting, we're looking at the basics of stem cells and it's so interesting you know, like I can really see myself getting into it." Cosima said and then finished up what was on her plate. She loved her dad, they had it tough and she always felt guilty for her mother some how. Cosima's mother died in child birth so it had always been just the two of them, he a science lecturer at the university and Janice a local cooking teacher. Both passionate about their careers and both intelligent people. Cosima had inherited all of her intelligence from Dennis, but Janice was afraid she would waste it.
"Any boy's in your life?" Janice asked with a smile, and an encouraging little giggle. Cosima's smile faded and she chewed a little slower, her cheeks burning red, Dennis cleared his throat a little.
"I have a boyfriend." Cosima stated. "His name is Scott we met earlier today, we're dating and its pretty serious." Cosima's whole tone changed, but she had to say something. Janice had been up her back about this for months. Her dad never made his position on it clear.
"Just met today and it's already serious?" Dennis said, it was the first he had heard of it. Janice looked curiously over at Cosima.
"Yes. Very serious." Cosima again stated. She needed to add to the story. "We met on the train to school this morning, and now we are dating." She saw the sly look of disbelief in Janice's eyes as her dad and step-mom exchanged a look. "What did you think I was a lesbian?" Cosima asked her voice failing a little at the last word, a fake smile on her face, cheeks burning brighter than she every thought they could. Her blood was boiling hot under her skin and she hoped it was not showing on her face. She was hoping she wouldn't have to deal with this dating stuff until university. Janice smirked but felt awkward too, her fork and knife in her hands resting on the table around her plate.
"No, of course not, it's just you haven't had anyone..in a while." Janice stated, Cosima was already sick of her fake smiles and politeness and it had been about 10 minutes. But she was truthful, Cosima hadn't been with anyone in the whole time Janice had been around.
"Well actually sexuality is like a spectrum." Cosima began before being interrupted by Dennis, he coughed and asked Janice to pass over the jug of water. He shot Cosima a look. With a giant sigh Cosima got up, wiped her mouth on her sleeve and left the room, leaving Dennis and Janice to exchange awkward looks alone. Dennis wasn't against lesbians or anything, but Janice was very 'proper' in his words, she would be offended at the mear mention of anything not 'straight'.
In her room, she slumped herself on the bed, put her hands in her head and sighed once more. It was always awkward when it came down to her sexuality it was like something no one could talk about. She wasn't a lesbian, at least she did not think so, she just wasn't interested...in anyone for that matter. She was tempted to text Scott the boy she had actually met on the train that morning but was not dating. He seemed nice, dorky and reserved but nice. She thought she should, that way she could brag she at least had one friend. But her phone was no where to be seen, she scouted all over, even checking behind paintings and charcoal drawings she had done but not yet pinned up on her walls just in case. When it was no where to be found she gave up, deciding to spend the night studying, maybe even learn French which she was trying to do for weeks now but never had the time. Then she realised. Her phone was on the windowsill. Pulling back the curtain she grabbed it, waiting there as it had the best signal and unlocking the main screen. She didn't even have enough attention span to put the pass code in before her eyes were drawn to the road outside her new next door neighbours house.
A beautiful woman standing on her lawn watching moving men pull belongings out of a big white van and walk them into her house. At that moment they were carrying a nice looking sofa across the law and past the woman. Cosima's eyes were locked. The woman was stood her arms across her body in some kind of attempt to keep warm but it also looked like maybe she was sad, she was watching the men. It was dark because of the time of night, but she could make out that the woman had amazing locks of blonde hair cut above her shoulders that glistened in the way the moon light shone and the light from her porch echoed over it. She was wearing some kind of white slightly loose fitting dress just short of the top of her knee and with thin shoulder straps. As Cosima stared she didn't realise her phone had dropped to the sill, all of her attention was on this beautiful woman before her. There was something in the polite small gesture she made to the men as she passed, the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. Cosima had no idea why she was drawn to her, no logical reason, but this woman just drew everything out of her and brought it all to focus. Cosima was hooked. Before a second had passed the woman's eyes followed the mover men up her lawn, and then trailed across Cosima's and up to her bedroom, the light attracting her. Cosima's eyes locked with hers. Cosima didn't move at first, her whole body in some sort of trance as if they were both searching hard for something in each other, the woman smiled sadly, waving slightly with her hand across her waist. Cosima's eyes went wide and she fell back from the window, closing the curtains and falling onto her bed. Her heart beat suddenly became so fast and she could feel the heat on her face. For some reason her head was spinning like she had been knocked out. For a second she just laid there, when their eyes connected it was like something had clicked, as if in that moment time stood still. Without thinking and a little nervously her hand went to her side draw pulled out her spliffs she made earlier in their plastic wrap, unwrapped one, lit it up and fell back on the bed again. Her fingers held the spliff as she inhaled the hot smoke, pulling it out and holding her breath in, her mind caressed with the image of the women. All her thoughts were consumed with that smile. Her hair. Her sad look. Her body. Her dress. Even the way her sad eyes glistened in the dark moonlight. She exhaled.
"Fuck." Cosima said, taking another drag and really feeling the material of the bed sheets under her skin as the weed kicked in and took over her senses. With a clearer head than before Cosima sighed. That woman, Cosima thought. She needed to know her. Cosima needed to know everything about her, she needed to meet her, her mind wouldn't reveal why but she just had to talk to her. Tomorrow she would, Cosima declared, exhaling again and falling deeper under the trance of the strong substance.