"Sir? Sir? Sir?!" Ianto pushed open the door to Jack's office. As usual, stacks of paper, contracts for UNIT that were meant to be signed months ago, and porn magazines were strewn carelessly around the room. He sighed as he stepped cautiously around a heap of ancient, dusty books which were smoking faintly and carefully avoided the drawer full of brightly coloured objects he did not want to know anything about. He shuddered as he saw the front covers of a few dirty catalogues for "underwear" - well, that's what they called it. If Ianto had been the one naming the merchandise, he would have called them "handkerchieves held together with string" or just "disgusting".
Balancing the tray laden with coffee mugs dangerously over his head, he looked up from the messy hell that was Jack's floor to see the man himself, snoozing at his desk, arms folded behind his head, face placid and oddly child-like in his sleep. Ianto smiled fondly and resisted the sudden urge to brush the hair from the sleeping man's forehead, or worse, place a kiss there instead. He shook his head, irritated at himself. Stupid, stupid Ianto. He reminded himself. He's the boss. And he's an idiot and a complete sexaholic! Frowning at himself, he moved closer to put the tray down on the cluttered desk, clearing some papers onto the floor with a shudder. He hated an untidy desk, but it was keeping the floor as it was and no coffee, or making a little sacrifice, and coffee would win that battle any day.
He looked up at the glowing screen of the laptop, and frowned even more. What had he told Jack about actually working, rather than blogging or going on Tumblr which he did CONSTANTLY! Narrowing his eyes, he was about to turn away, when he noticed the title of the blog : Jack's Sexcapades Part 7: Target: Codename SexyWelshCoffeeBoy
Ianto felt his eyes widen in alarm. What was he reading?! Nevertheless, his curiosity was sparked, and he scrolled down and read a little further. "Thanks to CallieSparkles101 for favouriting this page! And just for you, here is part 2 of my fan fiction, Hot Coffee Love." Ianto swallowed, but he let his eyes skim over the rest of the text.
"Jack, the sexy Time Agent licked his lips. The tea boy was wearing THAT SUIT again. All Jack wanted was to rip it off him." Ianto's breath caught in his throat. Oh, wow, he thought. A tiny part of him scolded him profusely, but he let a small smile trace his features as he turned back to the blog.
He scrolled further along, near the end. "'Oh, yes, Jack!" Ianto screamed. 'Take me now!'" Okaaaaaay, then. He paled slightly. The boss really did have a supremely dirty mind.
He avoided that particular paragraph and skipped straight to the last bit.'OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!' He shrieked, forgetting the sleeping Jack.
Suddenly, a muscular arm snaked around his waist. Ianto almost leapt out of his skin. Sir! You're awake!' Jack smirked. 'Well, who wouldn't be with all your screeching?' 'I wasn't screeching!' Ianto protested.
But Jack was looking past him to the laptop, where the last paragraph was visible on the screen. Ianto blushed furiously. 'Sir! I'm sorry - I can explain! I -er -' 'Hey...' Jack interrupted. 'You read all the way to the end! Did ya like it?!' Ianto bit back a sarcastic response. 'It was um, very detailed, sir.' He said, honestly. 'Well, that's good.' He said. He had a glint Ianto found unnerving in his eyes. 'Sir...?' The next thing Ianto knew was that he was suddenly on the floor - in all the mess!- his inner OCD cringed, with warm lips upon his own. 'Sir!' He halfheartedly protested, but he soon gave up.
Since that day, Ianto Jones had always had a soft spot for a little office clutter, and he made sure that he always read Jack's blog, because for some reason, he seemed to be one of the main characters, and it's always good to know what your devilishly handsome Time Agent fiancé plans to do to you when you deliver his coffee, just in case you need to use the taser on him again...