He always finds her. And he always loses her.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Jon is the one who remembered. He was the one who shouldered the burden of the past, the burden of truth.
The first time, he saw her at the marketplace. He forgot how to breathe. Dressed in a simple white robe with her open hair flowing down her back, she looked carefree and young.
Far too young to be with child.
She placed a hand on her stomach as she carefully scanned the fruits for marks, and Jon ached with longing.
He noticed her struggling to pick up her basket and immediately rushed to help. She looked up at him with grateful eyes and thanked him.
Her smile was too kind.
Ignorance is bliss.
Jon watched her walk away with a thousand words trapped in his throat. He gave voice to none of them, choosing to instead make a promise to himself: he would do all he could to protect her this time. He would not allow history to repeat itself.
This would be his purpose, this was why he was given a second chance, he figured.
When he learned that she died giving birth to her son, he felt hollow all over again.
Just like my mother. Like hers too.
He followed her soon afterward.
XXXXXXXXXX
The next time they met he was the one near death.
A WWII soldier. Severely injured, missing an arm and with a hole where his left eye should be. Everyone had all but written him off as a lost cause.
Except for the nurse with the unusual violet eyes. She took it upon herself to care for him day and night. Treated his wounds, fed him by hand, changed his clothes.
Some nights she would simply sit beside him and read from books he would choose, her soft voice soothing him to sleep despite the unbearable pain.
She was his only comfort, his only joy.
And she was shot dead in a riot a month later.
Jon succumbed to his injuries that same night.
XXXXXXXXXXX
The stars had failed to align properly this time. He was a grown man and she was only a child.
Only a ten-year-old.
The new student in his classroom.
Please, he begged. To whatever entity was responsible for this, for trapping them in this curse.
Bringing them together only to tear them apart.
Please don't hurt her this time. Take me instead. Punish me. Leave her alone.
But of course, it happened.
Of course, she suddenly fell ill, withering away right in front of his eyes.
A healthy little girl dying for no discernable reason. Other than the fact that he had entered her life.
A car accident claimed his a week later.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
One time, by a cruel twist of fate, they were related.
She was the estranged aunt he had never met, and he was the distant nephew she had heard about once or twice.
When they 'accidentally' met at a bar, she had no idea who he really was. So when she began to flirt, Jon should've stopped it. Revealed his true identity.
He did the opposite. He grabbed the back of her head and kissed her, catching her off guard with such a strong reaction. She got over her surprise quickly though and began kissing him back, but that wasn't enough for him.
He took her back to his apartment, carried her up the stairs and set her down on his bed. She laughed at his eagerness, his almost frenzied rush.
I'm not going to disappear, she told him in between kisses.
In response, he only held her closer, kissed her harder.
When she came with his name on her lips, he almost corrected her.
It's Jon. My name is Jon. And your name is Daenerys.
When she found their family photo in the morning she threw up. Disgusted beyond belief, she turned to him with a half accusatory half questioning glance.
Did you know? Tell me you didn't know.
He wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. What a joke. What a big, elaborate fucking joke.
The years made him harsher. Raw and perverse.
So he didn't deny it. He watched as the horror settled in her eyes and she ran away from him.
No love, only fear.
He finally understood just how he had made her feel all those lifetimes ago.
He never heard from her again, but knew in his heart she had died when he found out about his late-stage cancer not a month after that incident.
I am coming Dany.
XXXXXXXXXXX
An endless loop.
They meet, a brief moment of joy, kinship, love, and relief, before the inevitable darkness of death took them away.
Till they are reborn again.
Jon could not imagine a crueler punishment for his betrayal.
You killed her once, now you get to see her suffer the same fate in a myriad of ways, all because of you.
He had even tried to avoid her, but to no avail. Fate always pushed them together.
Tyrion had said she believed it was her destiny, in truth, it was his.
His cursed destiny that led them to where they were now.
And he would do anything to make it stop.
XXXXXXXXXXX
This time was different.
This time they were allowed to be lovers, to enjoy more than mere scraps of happiness together.
Jon waited and waited, he didn't understand.
Until she remembered.
Jon, she cried out his real name in pain as she clutched her head, the sudden onslaught of century old memories rushing through her mind.
She flinched away from his touch as he tried to comfort her.
Dany, please, he said unwittingly and the memory of what he had done after he said that to her the last time made her grab the keys and run to her car.
She saw him fading away in the rear view mirror, standing hopelessly as he watched her leave him once again.
As it turned out, fate had other plans for them.
She was pregnant. When Dany found out, the last thing she wanted was to tell him. She had already cut him off, carved a new life for herself far away from him and all the atrocities of the past.
All the crimes in between them, all the guilt and fear and anger.
To his credit, he hadn't chased after her. She was relieved, she constantly told herself.
Yet the good memories were just as bad, of this lifetime and all the previous ones. They haunted her just the same.
There was nothing she wanted more than to go back and erase everything, scrub her mind clean and pure.
Though as her child grew inside her, she knew, despite it all, he was the one thing she wouldn't take back. He was going to be her salvation. He was also her ultimate weakness.
When she felt the first wave of pain, she caved in. As her neighbor rushed her to the hospital, she dialed the number she hadn't pressed in over a year.
XXXXXXXXXXX
Jon could hardly believe his ears. After months of silence, to receive a phone call where he learned he was about to be a father was overwhelming to say the least. Equal parts fear and hope gripped his heart.
Please let them be okay, please for once let us be okay.
Of course, they weren't.
A complication arose during labor and the doctor gave him a clear choice, mother or child. He knew what she would have wanted, but he didn't care.
He chose her.
When it was over and she held their dead baby in her arms, he finally understood.
Only a life can pay for another life.
Dany brought her child's hand to her lips. She kissed his tiny fingers one by one, her tears sliding down his limp arm.
She looked up at him with bloodshot eyes.
What have we done to each other Jon?
She had no more fight left in her. At the brink of exhaustion, she collapsed in his arms.
Hoping he wouldn't let her drown, that he'd carry her safely to the shore as he should have a millennium ago.
And he did.
XXXXXXXXXXX
He always finds her. And this time he won't lose her.