Sometimes I Wonder
Michael never really had anywhere he actually called home. That's why he never had a problem with being a spy. He was constantly moving, everywhere, but nowhere at once. His mother only got a single call a year, he had no clue where his brother was and truthfully, he really didn't want to know. He liked being on the move, always doing something different. He liked making a difference in the world, even if no one knew what had changed or who had caused it. He was a loner, no doubt, and he wanted to keep it that way.
Nigeria happens, things go wrong—he's lucky to even see through it.
Sometimes he wonders why she came back. He wakes up with a kick and a familiar face—one he tried so hard to forget and put behind him—it's not like he had a choice in the matter. She tries to explain why she came back, but he doesn't believe her. Why would come back just to tell him what a bastard he is? He already knows that— he knew that as soon as he left her in the dark, sleeping alone in a bed they had shared more than once.
Sometimes he wonders why his anyone if even considers him a friend. His own mother for example. He got out as soon as he could, leaving her and his little brother to fend off their drunken father alone. He hated himself for joining the army, but he found that house to be worse than any battlefield he might walk on.
Sometimes he wonders if he actually did get himself burned—he may be the best, but even he makes mistakes. He thrusts those thoughts away—since when was he a terrorist? It doesn't make sense. He'll find who got him burned, even if he gets himself killed doing so.
Sometimes he wonders if he did already get himself killed. He'd lost everything with that job. Emotions, relationships, trust, love. He wondered if the last thing he really had left was really just an empty shell that wanted back into the place that had given him everything yet taken it away all at once.
Sometimes he wonders why he never gets an answer.
*(*)*
Just a little oneshot done in about twenty minutes during math class. Hope you like. Reviews are love