Disclaimer: First fanfiction, first disclaimer. First time for me to sadly admit that I do not own Harry Potter, I am merely playing in it's sandbox.
With a scribbled note in one hand and a bottle of firewhiskey in the other, the dark-cloaked man disappeared onto the streets of some unnamed seedy part of the town, and surreptitiously slid behind the outside walls of the bar and into a dark alleyway. Using his breathes as measurement, he counted to ten, hearing familiar footsteps slowly and cautiously approach his hiding spot.
"... eight... nine... ten." As soon as he saw the man's wooden stick poke around the corner, he attacked with a swing that would make any professional Beater jealous, smashing the bottle right onto the head of the first attacker. Anticipating the attack from his companion, he ducked under the blue bolt that brushed past the top of his head, singeing the tips of his messy, jet-black hair, as he thrust upwards to stab with the broken shards of the bottle into the man's wrist, grabbing the attacker's wand with his free hand. Quickly snapping the piece of wood in two, he stabbed a jagged piece of wood into its owner's neck, using his momentum to knock the man down.
A third attacker revealed himself, firing off more spells at the man who quickly turned around and threw his cloak at the new challenger. The cloak blinded the attackers view of him for mere moments as the wayward spells ripped through the fabric. He made his presence known as he surprised his new attacker with a firm right hook to the head, followed with a left uppercut into his jaw, finally grabbing the man's head with his hand and smashing it into his knee.
Taking the wand out of the man's loosened grasp he snapped it in two, doing the same to his other companion who was completely unconscious from the previous bottle to the head. The man muttered something along the lines of – "bloody waste of alcohol" – with a similar tone of dismay towards his tattered cloak.
He reached into his pocket and removed a silver flask, marked with a series of nicks and scratches covering it all over. Just as he was about to take a swig, he saw out of the corner of his eye a brunette with what appeared to be a look of amusement on her face. Not appearing to sense any danger, the man smiled and tipped his drink towards her, and from behind his glasses gave her a cheeky wink.
She let out an amused giggle and blushed. She stood and considered him for a moment, and bit her lip as if she was a child deciding whether or not to break the rules this one time.
It would have been a cute moment, if there wasn't three dying bodies lying between them.
"Hello, Harry." She smiled, the man in question simply admired her short, black-laced dress which was both form-fitting and incredibly complementing to her flowing, curly dark hair.
"Hello to you too." Harry replied, keeping both eyes on her as he took a mouthful of his drink, enjoying the burn down his throat.
"You don't remember who I am, do you?" She chuckled to herself.
"Can't say I can place you, I'm sorry." Harry admitted.
"Susan." She said, as he mouthed an 'ah' noise, as if this was something that had always been on the tip of his tongue.
"Susan... Doy–"
"Bones." She corrected him before he could finish his mistake.
"Right! Susan Bones. I met you at the Minis–"
"Hogwarts." She once again corrected him. "I was in your year."
"That's right, that's right." He continued, cocky smile still on his face. "Raven–"
"Hufflepuff. Sat behind you in Herbology. For six years."
"Of course." Harry smiled. "I remember that. Sitting in front of you, that is. Well Susan, what are you doing tonight?"
"Apparently being a witness to a triple homicide." She replied succinctly, as Harry laughed.
"No, they're not dead. At least I don't think they are..." Harry laughed, as he heard one of the attackers to the right groan. Quickly, he stomped the man's head into the ground, as Susan simply raised an eyebrow in response. "See – not dead! You are a rather crazy one, aren't you, Susan?"
"You are a bit of a hypocrite, Harry." Susan responded, as she watched Harry, straighten his tie in mock offence. "But I would prefer the term generally uninhibited."
"Well that's perfect then! You'll be perfect to help me out!" Harry grinned, as Susan played along with his game. "You see, an angry lady staying in the apartment next to mine just so happened to place a rather tricky ward on my bed. Now I can't sleep in it unless it's with a generally uninhibited lady."
"Where will we find such a woman?"
"Yes, well it would be best if she's about 165 centimetres tall. And about 50 kilograms." Harry added, as she continued considering his proposal.
"Well –"
"Did I forget to add that she looks extremely stunning in a lacy black dress and has eyes so mysteriously beautiful that you could just spend a whole night staring into them?" Harry was almost done. "Preferably with no clothes on, of course."
"Of course." She laughed, stepping over the limp bodies so that she was much closer to him, offering her hand. "How about a drink then, and then you can tell me more?"
"That's a great idea, Susan. I wonder where you got it from." He happily took her hand, before he felt an annoying and familiar seizing motion behind his naval.
Well... Fuck.
Stay Young, Go Dancing
"Not where I wanted to have a drink, but yeah, alright." Harry toyed, as he found himself standing in a rather boring looking office. The desk was covered with paperwork, the room was dimly lit and right in his face was a wooden stick.
"Susan Bones, deputy at the DMLE." Harry grinned, playfully tapping the stick in front of his face causing sparks to erupt, dancing from the tip. "12 inch, willow, quintaped hair. Made in Greece."
"You –"
"Come on Susan, as if I wouldn't remember you. You set that plant on fire in fourth year!" Harry replied, winking. "And I did mean what I said before. That dress does wonderful things for you."
"Shut up, Potter. You're wanted for questioning." Susan replied, commanding but with a slight playful tone that turned Harry on just a little bit. A strong woman, to say the least.
"Was that you that was sending me free drinks the whole night?" Harry laughed.
"Hoping to get you drunk to make you easier to apprehend." She admitted.
"Jeez, the Ministry's budget is quite loose. Well if you had succeeded I may have not delivered those three thugs right to your feet." Harry said. "Don't tell me you're not thankful just a little bit?"
"They're chump change, Harry."
"More important than you think, Susan." Harry shot back mockingly, about to take another swig from his flask, but the wand in front of his face was unmoving. "Oh, I forgot – the promised drink?"
"I've been told not to trust you." She said, unmoving.
"They sent you, an old acquaintance of mine, one they knew I wouldn't package and send back to them. So obviously they expected me to trust you. But to be honest, I went along because you were pretty." Harry said, noticing her wand arm shaking with loosened resolve. He smiled to himself, hearing the handle of the door behind him begin to turn, either a superior or a group of underlings ready to hear her briefing of his 'capture'.
The moment she glanced to watch the door open, he immediately reacted, catching her off guard and gently batting her wand arm away, grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her into a deep kiss. His lips pressed urgently onto hers, as her wand arm dropped next to him, wrapping around him and pulling him closer to her. Whoever was at the door gasped in shock and dropped whatever they were holding - including their wand - at the passionate embrace they were currently witnessing.
Satisfied with the noise of wood hitting floor, with a twitch of his hand, Harry disappeared in a puff of smoke and reappeared behind Susan's desk, nicking a rather chunky file off the top. "Cheers, Susie."
And with that, he disappeared, leaving a confused, disappointed, furious and turned on Susan Bones, and her jealous, appalled and shocked superior.
sYGd
"Southern France." Harry smiled as he stuck his head outside the window and breathed in the wonderful air of one of his favourite places in the world. Home.
"'Arry?" A voice called, as Harry smiled at the rather tanned house-elf standing at the foot of his bed.
"Hoggett!" Harry grinned, rubbing his acquaintance affectionately on his head, the rather happy house-elf having left his apartment exactly to his liking. Which was a complete mess.
"Eet iz very good to have Master 'Arry back." Hoggett happily took the file out of Harry's hands and laid it on the desk, disappearing in a crack of smoke momentarily to reappear with a perfectly made sandwich.
"Been keeping yourself busy, Hoggett?" Harry asked, as he joyously bit into the wonderful sandwich concocted by his house-elf, and sat on his bed, the house-elf hopping up next to him. "Great work with the sandwich, by the way."
"Master 'Arry iz all too kind." Hoggett replied. "Hoggett has been dealing with the goblins on Master's request and managed to acquire all the items Master had requested."
"Thank you, again, Hoggett." Harry grinned, as the house-elf began to list off all Harry had requested, even though Harry had full confidence in the elf. Though he had freed the elf years ago from a French tyrant who Harry unceremoniously defeated, the elf insisted on following him around, and after much persuasion by the elf, Harry put Hoggett and his knowledge of the darker areas of France to use. Still hadn't been able to get him to drop the 'Master' title, however.
"Any visitors while I was gone?"
"A few wizards would come and try to find the apartment every so often, but Master managed to hide it very well! Hoggett did enjoy watching them every so often." Hoggett admitted, mischievously. "Left some presents, as Master 'Arry requested."
"Ah yes." Harry fondly remembered the pranks he acquired from George to piss off the Ministry. "Hey Hoggett, at any point was one of those wizards a brunette, rather pretty eyes, about this tall?"
"I think Hoggett knows who you are describing."
"Good. Next time she's around, let her in."
"As you wish, Master 'Arry."
"And make sure you make up as many extravagant compliments about me to tell her when she comes over." Harry laughed.
"One does not have to fabricate such things when it comes to you, Master 'Arry."
"Hoggett, you're one of a kind, you know?"
"As Hoggett discovered when he accidentally walked in on you and your female acquaintance last month, so are you, Master 'Arry."
sYGd
"Potter." Once again, wand pointed in his face. "Oh my God – Potter!"
His wand pointed at her. Well, his downstairs wand, at least.
"Haven't you heard of knocking before you were entering?" Harry rubbed his eyes, scrambling for his glasses. "Or morning wood, at least?"
"Merlin Harry, put on some clothes." Susan said. "Your house-elf let me in, by the way. And he wasn't quite lying about your wand either, as I can see."
"Oh really?" Harry chuckled to himself, as he slid out of bed, still in the buff, slipping on a blue robe with flying dragons and broomsticks lazily gliding around it. "Please don't point a wand at me in my own house."
He absent-mindedly brushed past her as he headed to the toilet to relieve both himself and his downstairs friend.
"Hoggett!" Harry called, as the house-elf for once did not respond immediately and instead called from outside of the room.
"Iz Master 'Arry wearing clothes yet?" Hoggett asked.
"Yes, Hoggett, it's safe." Harry replied.
"Is he telling the truth, Miss Bones?" Hoggett asked.
"Yes, yes he is." Susan responded, slightly caught off guard. The house-elf immediately popped inside, also breathing a sigh of relief.
"Master has a habit to play practical jokes. Has scarred Hoggett for life a few times." Hoggett replied, shaking his head in shame, explaining to Susan, who had never met a house-elf who was so candid.
"Hoggett, can you please relieve Miss Bones of her wand?" Harry called, washing off his hands as he happily walked back to the bedroom and caught Susan's recently disarmed wand in his hand.
"Hey!" Susan cried out in protest.
"Listen, I'm not going to escape again, and you can question me all you like."
"I want the files back." Susan demanded, and Harry picked up the files from his bedside table and passed it to her.
"That it?"
"I want you to come in for questioning."
"Not coming in. Question me now." Harry responded. "Hoggett, I trust you have breakfast made already?"
"Yes, Master. French toast, bacon and coffee." Hoggett gestured, as Harry similarly gestured to Susan, who joined the three of them on the small dining table, as she was once again surprised at Hoggett having his own booster seat to join them for the meal.
"So, Susan, what are you going to ask me?" Harry said, a mouthful of bacon already in his mouth.
"To stop doing what you're doing." She said.
"Which is?"
"Vigilante acts. We don't need it. If you want to do it, join the Ministry." She chided, as Harry laughed.
"You know, you look just as good in that blouse and skirt combination you got going on." Harry said, pointing his fork at her.
"I'm serious."
"So am I. If you unbuttoned a few on that blouse, you'd have very respectable cleavage." Harry responded playfully. "Listen, if it makes you feel better, I just don't go off capturing dark wizards in England, I do it everywhere – it's not that special. And no one gets hurt – just captured. And I'm doing everyone a favour!"
"The law should be kept in the law's hands."
"So you're telling me it was the Ministry that took down Grindelwald or Voldemort or the number of loose dark wizards trying to claim the title of the next Dark Lord?" Harry asked.
"We would have if given the time –"
"I call bullshit!" Hoggett called out, between bites, as Susan eyed the house-elf cautiously.
"I taught him that word not too long ago. Loves using it all the time now." Harry commented off-hand. "Look, Susan, I'm the best at what I do. And what I do isn't very nice. Let's just leave it at that. And enjoy your French toast while you're at it."
"What do you want with the Steigmann case? It doesn't seem like something you'd be interested in." She said, taking his advice and finishing her delicious French toast.
"Oh please. That fake cover story about that breaking and entering you fed the Prophet? You're no different than Fudge's government. Seven murdered. That's what interests me." Harry responded. "I managed to crack open that document that you charmed. Interesting jinx you placed on it, might I add. But Susan – don't take me for a fool again."
"We hid it for the good of everyone else. Dark magic involved."
"I know. More than you could." Harry responded. "More than the Unspeakables you have researching it, more than the Aurors you have investigating it. It so happens to be a personal specialty of mine."
"And what is it?" Susan leaned in, as Harry calmly swallowed his bacon and sipped his coffee.
"Immortality." Harry responded. "You know this to. Why you put bloody Hermione and Ron on the case at the same time without either of them knowing, I have no idea. Which is cruel, you know!"
"Oh please, both of them have moved on." Susan responded, catching Harry off guard.
"They've found other people?"
"You didn't know?" Susan asked, incredulously. "I thought they were lying to protect you when they said you hadn't contacted them in nine years! So that's it, huh?"
"What is?"
"You're so lonely. Everyone's moving on with their lives. Ron's engaged. Hermione's rising faster in the Ministry than anyone woman or person for that matter in history. And here you are, still chasing dark wizards and living like a child."
"I'm owed a childhood." Harry muttered. "And I do socialise!"
"When?"
"That bar last night!" Harry said. "And, Hoggett? Where's the invitation?"
Hogget popped away for a moment and came back, invitation in hand. "See, Gerard Bruni, French Minister of Magic cordially invites Harry James Potter, to –"
"Master 'Arry said he was not attending, as he believes these sorts of events were a load of bullsh–"
"Hoggett! I was joking." Harry waved his house-elf off to Susan's amusement. "It's a charity gala, half to commend me for reducing the amount of dark operations in France. And I was going to go, for your information."
"You should take Miss Bones, Master 'Arry." Hoggett chided in, to a suddenly nervous Susan.
"Well, Susan? I think you owe a certain black dress a bit of justice by coming out with me to a rather classy event." Harry smiled.
"I'll think about it." Susan responded.
"Be here at eight. I plan on being fashionably late."
"As long as you're not fashionably naked again, Harry."
sYGd
"Susan you saucy minx." Harry smiled, as the always breathtaking brunette was even more so in a purple dress and matching heels.
"Do you think I'm appropriately dressed?"
"You're perfect." Harry said, before correcting himself. "For the occasion, I mean."
"Thank you." She blushed in response.
"Hoggett, hold the fort down while I'm gone!" Harry grinned, winking at his house-elf, as the moment they stepped outside of his apartment, he apparated right to the steps of the French palace.
"Ah, Monsieur Potter." The Frenchman at the door welcomed them, bowing as he courteously opened the doors to the lavishly decorated ballroom, which was almost criminally adored in gold and bright extremely expensive decor. Of course, Harry knew how truthful the 'almost criminal' part of that description was.
"Oh shit." Susan said. "They're not all going to be speaking French, are they?"
"Here, take this. And I would actually watch your French around the French." Harry said, removing a vial of potion, as Susan, in her nervousness forgot her initial instinct to check it for tampering and instead immediately drank the thing whole. "Now it doesn't matter, right?"
"Seems so." Susan put on her bravest face, as the night whirled away. She was nearly stunned by the amount of famous officials that knew Harry by name. Why was he so easy to cooperate with the French Ministry and so reluctant to associate with the English?
Every time she would prod into his association with the government, he'd give an offhand comment. "It's because they have better wine... It's because their women are more attractive... It's because they all have secrets to hide, so they don't ask any questions like you..."
"Dance?" Harry offered his hand, seemingly fed up with conversation with French officials. Taking his hand, he pulled her close to him and wrapped an arm around her waist. She leaned her head in to rest on his shoulder. "These Frenchmen watching, they all respect me. Not because I was born into a prophecy. Not because I stumbled into some legendary duel. The only things they know of me and judge me upon are the things they have seen me do right in front of them. The heroic acts by my own volition. The choices I have made and the mistakes I have to atone for. Not for any heresy, any expectation or any projection for their hopes or burdens on my shoulders. In France, they know me for who I am. In England, I am known for who I am supposed to be."
"Harry –"
"I hope I answered all your questions." Harry leaned in to her, green eyes meeting brown, and for once she saw him for who she knew him to be. On some days, one of the most powerful wizards to ever grace the Earth, passionate, charming and with all right to be cocky. But on others – just a kid quietly looking wishfully at an outside world from inside a cupboard.
"It does." She replied, and as they kissed, for a few seconds, the world stopped still and sighed in relief.
sYGd
Author's Note: So that was pretty quick and painless for a first time. I've got an exam tomorrow, but I wrote this because I haven't been able to write anything in months so I had a go at sitting down today and forcing myself to write something or I would have to study, and this came out after a few hours of work. To be honest, and you can probably tell, I started off the story wanting to go into some bad-ass, super!Harry, kicking ass and taking names, and then kicking more ass story, but in the end I turned it into a one-shot of cheesy fluff. I hope you enjoyed it.
Oh, and props if you can guess where I got the title from.
It would have been a cute moment, if there wasn't three dying bodies lying between them.