Someone requested an after party for the Avengers and... well, this insanity happened. I'm pretty sure this was not what was expected.
When the Lights Dim
The "after party" had been Tony's idea. After saving New York, as they were surrounded by medics and SHIELD agents with too many questions, he demanded that a celebration was in order.
"I just wanna sleep for a week," Clint yawned, pushing away the man trying to bandage his wounds.
Eventually, they agree to find the Shwarma joint (they're all a little shocked that it survived the alien invasion), because they're all just as hungry as they are tired. When they were all finished eating, Tony invited them all back to Stark tower for the after after party. Everyone was quick to say no.
"Sleep first, party later," Natasha said.
"I must return to keep any eye on my brother before we return to Asguard tomorrow."
"I'm really liking the idea of sleep," Steve said.
"Aw, fine," Tony grumbled. "You all go home and sleep. Thor, you better come back soon for the real party."
Natasha groaned as she limped away with Clint. She knew, all too well, what a Tony Stark party looked like.
Nevertheless, she showed up at his mansion three weeks later, as requested. What she found, shocked her.
"This is it?" she asked. Tony, Pepper, and Bruce were in the kitchen making snacks (well, Pepper and Bruce were making snacks, Tony was hovering), while Steve, Thor, and Clint stood nearby, all chatting happily.
"Of course," Tony said. "What were you expecting?"
"Well…" she started.
"She was expecting a party like you typically throw. You know, lots of booze and scantily clad women."
"Ah, yes," Tony smiled fondly. "But no. Just us tonight. I've got something wonderful planned."
"As long as it doesn't involve aliens," Clint said.
"Nope. No aliens."
"So what do you have planned?"
"Well," Bruce said, when he realized that Tony had gotten distracted by the bowl of popcorn Pepper had just set out. "We were talking the other day, and it occurred to us that Steve and Thor probably haven't seen Harry Potter."
"You're joking, right?" Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nope," Tony grinned.
"What is this Harry Potter?" Thor asked.
"He's a wizard or something," Natasha shrugged, as if it was quite a stupid idea.
Tony, Bruce, and Clint gave her an odd look.
"You've never seen it either, have you?" Bruce asked.
Natasha shook her head. Bruce and Tony gaped at her.
"You have got to be kidding me," Tony said.
"I'm with the science boyfriends on this one," Clint said. If the nickname bothered Tony and Bruce at all, they didn't show it. "We can't have half a team of Harry Potter virgins."
Tony picked up the enormous bowl of popcorn. "To the Bat Mobile!" he declared, leading them from the room. The other's picked up the various other snacks and drinks that had been laid out on the counter, then followed.
"What is a Bat Mobile?" Thor asked.
"Another day, buddy, another day."
They filed into the room Tony had decided to host his movie party. It was large and had one very, very big semicircular couch that faced an even bigger television screen.
"You boys have fun," Pepper said, then gave Tony a light kiss.
"You're not gonna stay?" Tony asked, pouting.
"You know I have to work, Tony," she said.
"Party pooper."
"This party is for you guys, not for me. Enjoy the festivities. And boys, don't let him keep you locked in here forever. Take a break every now and then. Don't be afraid to ask for nap time." With that, she left them.
"Just how long is this movie?" Steve asked.
"Movies," Tony corrected, grinning. "There are eight of them."
"Almost 20 hours in total," Bruce added.
"That's not including any bonus footage."
"We should probably get started then," Clint said, sitting down and grabbing a coke.
"JARVIS, you heard the man!"
"Very well, sir," JARVIS said. A moment later, the screen turned on and a turn began to filter through the speakers. The lights dimmed down until it was almost black.
"Alright, pass the booze," Natasha groaned.
"NO!" Tony exclaimed. "We do not watch this wonderful, beautiful movie while under the influence!"
"Why?" Bruce asked. "You did exactly that last week."
"Case and point, I have no idea what happened."
"According to Pepper, you've seen this movie 412 times, you know exactly what happed."
"That is besides the point. Now everyone shhh, it's starting."
"It's just the opening, nothing is-" Natasha started.
"Shhh!" Tony exclaimed. Natasha rolled her eyes, but settled into her seat.
"I don't like these people," Steve said after no more than thirty seconds of seeing the Dursleys.
"No one likes them," Clint said.
"This Hagrid reminds me of a boy I attended school with," Thor informed them.
"This girl is kind of bitchy, isn't she?" Natasha said, when Hermione was introduced.
"You'll learn to love her," Bruce told them.
"This whole magic thing seems very outrageous," Steve said.
"Indeed." Thor nodded. "They make it all seem much more complicated than it is."
"This dragon creature, I like it," Thor said. "Where can I procure one?"
"You can't, they aren't real," Natasha said.
"That is unfortunate."
"What about this dog, Fluffy, where can I get one of these?"
"Unfortunately, it also isn't real," Tony said.
"I don't understand," Steve said. "How can it not be real, if I'm looking right at it?"
"Just the perks of living in the future," Tony said, knowing it would be pointless to try to explain the actual process.
By the end of the movie, Thor was sniffling slightly, Natasha was boredly picking through a bowl of pretzels, Steve was staring at the screen in confusion, and Clint had built a bow and several arrows out of twizzlers, pretzel sticks, marshmallows, popcorn and beef jerky.
"Alight kids, ten minute bathroom break. If you're late, you're screwed."
A few minutes later, they were gathered in front of the screen once more, and Clint was shooting miniature arrows at the rest of the team.
"I will break your fingers," Natasha threatened.
"You wouldn't dare," he shot back, but didn't shoot any more in her direction.
"These kids certainly get themselves into a lot of trouble, don't they," Steve commented about halfway through the Chamber of Secrets. It wasn't until the Prisoner of Azkaban that Natasha started to show some interest, and by the end of the Order of the Phoenix, she and Steve were wiping tears from their eyes, while Thor was crying outright. Bruce had foreseen the waterworks, and brought in a box of tissues during the break before.
"It's okay to cry a little," Bruce told Natasha.
"I am not crying," she defended.
By the end of Deathly Hallows Part II, even she couldn't deny that she was crying.
"So what did you guys think?" Tony asked as the credits began to roll.
Through her tears, Natasha made a sound that seemed to imply that she'd liked the movies.
"Most excellent!" Thor boomed. "It saddens me that there a no more."
"Yes," Steve nodded. "It was surprisingly captivating."
Clint shrugged. "The books were better." Bruce gave him a strange look. "What? You don't think so?"
"No, of course I think the books were better. I'm just surprised you read the books."
"For the record, I'm surprised you can read at all," Tony said. Clint shot an arrow at him, which he snatched out of the air and began eating. "Alright boys and girls, time for the after party!"
"Uh oh," Natasha groaned.