"Can you fix a shattered vase, and make it worth something?"
"No the cracks would still be there, but I want you to be whole again."
"That's a nice dream."
"I will make it reality."
"No you can't. You're just like the rest."
"No I'm not."
"What makes you so different?"
"I see the beauty in your cracks like a shattered vase glued back together"
I am not dead! I'm so sorry I haven't beenable to update one if two choices, I still haven't gotten my computer back, and things are pretty bad for me now. Sorry about any grammar errors.
I sobbed quietly to myself. Make it stop; please make it stop. I begged. I heard screaming. Then yelling, and loud sobbing. I shuddered in my bed. Please stop. I begged. I pushed the covers off of me feeling sickly warm. I sat at the foot of the door. Wiping my eyes dry.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going bitch?" More screaming.
"Get away from me!" I heard a loud noise followed by cursing. I started shaking uncontrollably. I clenched my fist together tightly. I had to be strong for mommy. She scrambled through the door her pink hair a mess, and dark bruises formed on her skin. She hurriedly locked the door, and we both trembled as we heard his fist slam into the wood. Mommy crawled to my bed hugging me.
"He wont get us this time honey." She ran her fingers through my hair tenderly. The loud banging ceased, and we both relaxed. "I'm so sorry baby...I wish I could give you a better life." Tears formed in her eyes. I hugged her patting her back affectionately.
"It's okay Mommy; I understand." I told her. She started sobbing harder.
"You shouldn't" He voice trembling. "You're too young" She pulled her self back. "Sing for me?" She smiled tears flowing freely down her face. I had the urge to cry too, but I had to stay strong for Mommy. I sang my favorite Taylor Swifts song Both Of Us.
"I wish I was strong enough to lift not one, but both of us. Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one, but both of us..." I watched as Mommy smiled as she cried as if she was staring at something beautiful.
I flipped the page of my book. I bit my nails as I read each word quickly reading it with no trouble at all. I pictured the boy standing in front of his parents bravely telling them that he would not go back to the hospital to get his cancer treated again. I sighed rereading the pages. I wished for the same courage that he had. I had prayed, but my prayers went unanswered unlike my grandmother thought they would.
"Grant! Get away from that book, and out on that field!" My coach yelled at me. I stood up obediently setting my book down gently on the bottom bar of the soccer goal net. I heard mocking laughter as I awkwardly stumbled onto the field. I heard more laughter as a boy suddenly stuck his foot out tripping me. I coughed as all the wind got knocked out of me. I saw small hands in front of my face. I looked up to see a brown-haired boy with dark green eyes, and tan skin. His grey shirt hanged loosely off his shoulders. I took his small hands hesitantly. He struggled to get me up. I saw that he was the same height as me.
"Hey mouse heads up!" I heard someone shout as a ball hit him in the back on his head. He fell forward, but I had caught him before he fell to the ground in front of me. He growled out in anger. I picked up the ball that was thrown, and threw it back at the boy would had thrown it. It hit him in the face as he started crying. The brown-haired boy smiled up at me impressed.
"Nice throw; I didn't think you could do that." He stretched his arm by pulling it over to the other arm with his other hand. "I'm Michel." He put his hands out. I shook it still wary. "Why do you read so much?." We both looked at the book that was being picked at by nosy girls it was haphazardly thrown aside, and I quickly came to its rescue.
"Because life is a cruel thing." I said bitterly. He looked at the book summary on the back.
"Then why are you reading a book about cancer?" He raised an eyebrow smiling.
"Because it has a happy ending." I whispered. He nodded.
"You must be the Liyah I've heard about. It's nice to meet you." He said as everyone lined up to return to their class. I felt a small flicker of hope in my chest. Until he returned to his friends smiling, and laughing. I heard him loudly say;
"Yeah she's a total weirdo; thanks for the warning."
I clenched my book to my chest fighting the urge to cry. Why is everything so mean? I walked back to class after the other's emotionless. I sat down at my table alone. I noticed bright red hair out of the corner of my eye. I looked to the back of the classroom to see an older boy in a black jacket with a lot of zippers, and a red shirt. He was sipping out of a plastic cup filled with coffee with his red shoes kicked up on the desk. He stared back at me with stormy grey eyes looking bored. He looked intimidating.
"Quiet down class." I heard Miss Green say, so I turned my attention to her. "Today we have a few high school students at our school to help with our learning activities for a few weeks." She glanced at the boy in the back with an unreadable expression. "And all of those students used to come here at Amouris elementary. So please show respect to those here because they took time put of their busy schedules' to come here today." I noted she didn't bother introducing him. She handed out worksheets, and I got to work on mine. The others were slowly completing theirs chatting between each question. There were the smarter people who silently worked together in a group not wasting any time. I set my pencil down finished. I almost laughed aloud at how easy it was.
"Liyah." I looked up to see Miss Green sitting across from me. "Why don't you go sit with the other students if you already finished your work; maybe you could help them." Her voice was too sweet. It was all the same. A small spark of anger shot through my chest angry, and intense.
"Because that worked so well last time." I whispered my voice coming out even to my relief. She sighed sadly.
"I'm sorry." She went back to sit at her desk kicking the red-haired boy out of her chair. No she wasn't; just like the others. I opened my book back up getting lost in sweet words. No one would understand. I gripped the book tighter. I felt my heart-throb when I read that the old woman's cow died. It was symbolic. It was how the little boy, and the old woman met. I felt my eyes burn, but I kept the tears back. I couldn't show weakness in front of these people. The boy wasn't much help. He would tell them when they were doing things wrong, and wouldn't help them find the answer. I felt glares at my back when he glanced at my paper silently walking away. The bell rang, and I took my bag walking out the door quickly. I slowed down once I made it out the gate, but I heard laughing. I turned around to see a group of girls, and boys staring at me maliciously as if I were noting more than a runt to boot...I am. The biggest; Tommy snatched my now finished book out of my hand holding it over my head.
"What ya have here loser." He looked down at me cruelly. He looked at the water filled ditch, and his eyes lit up. He walked into the grass holding it over the water.
"No!" I shouted running forward. I wouldn't let them hurt what was so much bigger than them, but all the hopes of interfering went away as a girl grabbed my blonde hair. I cried out in pain my eyes burning worse than ever. I trembled as painful memories flashed through my head. "Don't touch me!" I silently prayed for him to make them let me go. I felt someone pull at the rosary around my neck.
"What a pretty necklace; I'll be taking that." She pulled it off my neck, and I heard the chain snap as my skin started to burn.
"No! Give it back!" I screamed. I saw the book fall towards the water in slow motion. I struggled to get free. I watched horrified as it descended. I blinked when I saw it fall into a large pale hand. I followed the hand with my eyes watching another hand flip through the pages tenderly. I glanced at the owner of the hand's face. He had golden eyes with matching hair. He wore a white shirt with a tie pattern on it, and a blue jacket. The group started to run away seeing an adult, but a dark-skinned girl had grabbed the wrist of the small brunette who had taken my rosary. The older girl ripped it off her neck letting it go. I reached out for the necklace with broken hope. She smiled lopsided handing me the metal. I sighed quietly in relief. The older blonde boy walked up to me handing me my book.
"Are you okay?" He asked. His voice was caring. It was different. I quickly nodded standing there uncomfortably.
"Thank you." I whispered shyly. The boy smiled widely.
"It was noting; I was just doing the right thing." He made wide gestures to elaborate. The girl adjusted her hat that reminded me of some what of a sailor captain.
"Plus I needed a list of good deeds to show off to Castiel." She said jokingly. "See you later little girl." She waved goodbye turning back to the school. Were older people this nice?
"Do you feel alright walking home alone?" He asked. I quickly nodded. He smiled. "Alright be safe." He turned back to the school, and for the first time I walked home with my chin up.
What was he doing home? I wondered as I silently walked to my room. I quickly did all my homework then rushed to the kitchen to do my chores. I walked back to my room sitting down on me bed taking out one of my books that was worn from being read over, and over. Mommy said I was smart enough to read adult books so she never said anything when we bought it. My door slammed open casing me to jump, and drop my book. I looked up to see him as he stormed towards me dragging me by my hair.
"How many times do I have to tell you when you do the kitchen take the God damn trash out." I whimpered as he dragged me off my bed.
"Your not supposed to say God's name in vain." I automatically told him. I felt a stinging pain in my cheek as the tears started flowing freely. He laughed.
"I'll give you something to cry about." I whimpered again as he dropped me taking out his belt I cowered in a corner terrified. I lost track of how many times he hit me as I walked back to my room emotionless. All I could feel was the numb ringing in my body. I watched bruises form as the hours passed by. I heard the front door open. I smiled in relief knowing it was Mommy as the keys jingled. I heard my door open. I watched as the light from her phone covered me. I squinted as she gasped in horror. She quietly walked in. She tenderly brushed my lumpy skin. Her eyes fell on the rosary.
"I think mom was right..." She whispered.
"I won't go to an orphanage."
"But honey you don't deserve this."
"Nether do you. What will he do to you when I leave?" I argued. She stayed silent looking at me guiltily. "Why do we stay?" She didn't say anything as she kissed my forehead goodnight. I knew what she was thinking. She didn't know either. I fell asleep soon after that.
She had a reason to react that way. My long clothes covered most of the bruises, but there were two on my face I couldn't hide. I watched Mommy as she put make up over my face. She had lighter skin than me so we had to buy one that was close to my skin color. My cheek looked darker, but it was better than walking around with black on my face. At least my hair covered my forehead. She bent down kissing my forehead.
"I've been selfish." I looked at her shocked. Mommy was the most selfless person I knew. "Keeping you here with me; I'm sorry."
"Mommy I want to be here with you." I told her. I hugged her tightly. I took off my Daddy's rosary putting it in her hands. "You need him more than I do." She looked into my eyes catching the double meaning in my words. She smiled sadly nodding, and we both went our separate ways.
No one paid attention to me as I walked into class. This would be a better day. I returned to my usual seat in the back taking out the book the librarian had given me. At first I had to keep rereading the book because Shakespeare wrote strangely, but it was easy after I realized it was just like poetry. I bet he got made fun of too before he became such a great story writer. Maybe I could see the play. I thought hopefully. I smiled to myself. I could start helping at the animal shelter again. I heard the sound of a chair scraping against the ground. I looked up to see the dark-skinned with the lopsided smile. "Hey little girl."
"Oh, Hi." I closed my book setting it aside. She picked it up with her long arms.
"Cute." She said flipping through the pages. I watched silently feeling the silence was comfortable. "So what are you up to, little girl."
"Well I was planning on going to the animal shelter after school..." I wondered why I was being so open with her.
"Do you have a pet?" She leaned back looking at me curiously.
"No my mom is allergic to animals; I just help there."
"That sounds fun. I might go with you." She put her arms behind her head. I looked at her curiously.
"Really?"
"Yeah; I have noting to do so..." She explained taking out a wad of gum, and tossing it into her mouth expertly. I giggled as I watched it fly into the air then fall into her waiting mouth. She raised an eyebrow at me. "What?"
"You look like a dolphin in the aquarium." I told her. She smiled stretching her arms.
"I know I'm such a cute mammal."
"And you have fish breath." The deep voice almost startled me. I looked back to see the red-haired boy leaning back in the teachers chair sipping a can of 'monster' as the label said. His stormy grey eyes had amusement in them.
"Shut up Castiel." The girl continued smiling widely even through she seemed to be glaring at him. Castiel pretended he was deeply offended by putting a hand dramatically over his chest talking dryly.
"You don't want to hear the beautiful words I have to say; that is cold my friend." He looked down on me and leaned down to my eye level. "I'm sure Liyah wants to hear." I moved further back in my seat at the sudden action.
"Your scaring the child with your horrible face." Kim said with a smile. I suddenly felt a great sense of dread as his grin grew wider. "Don't you even dare." Now she was glaring at him. Castiel huffed rolling his eyes.
"I wasn't planning on saying that." He muttered. He walked around the table haphazardly sitting next to the girl with the lopsided smile.
"Anyways I'm Kim." She leaned forward on the table. "And you meet Nathaniel yesterday."
Since she already heard my name I really didn't see why I should repeat it. "He was nice." I said. Castiel's entire posture changed from relaxed to very tense. Kim only glanced at his rigid form.
"Don't mind cherry top. They don't like each other." She smiled. "So do you ever see weird things at the shelter?"
"Nope; only gross." I shook my head, and she seemed disappointed. "But the aquarium is more fun. Once I saw a shark riding on the back of a sea turtle." Kim laughed.
"Really? I've never seen that before."
I laughed too. "Yeah, for some strange reason our great white loves to cuddle." I smiled. "We call him goo-chi."
"Why."
"Because he's always cover in that coral goo, and Sarah was thinking of soup." We both laughed. Castiel seemed to relax. "We have horrible naming skills. There's an eel named La, another named La, and a third named Land." I added rubbing the back of my neck hoping she would understand it. She, and Castiel both laughed.
"LaLa Land?" They both raised an eyebrow at that putting their elbows on the table supporting their heads.
"Well La, and La were born together, and we can't tell them apart, so we gave them the same name." I explained. The two smirked at me amused. "And Land came along, so James wanted to name her Land." The two nodded. I saw Miss Green smiling out of the corner of my eye.
"Wait slow down!" I heard Castiel shouting after me.
I made a loud disapproving noise. "You're being beaten by a fourth grader in a race. Maybe you're just slow." In a second he was at my side.
"Slow? I was just going easy on you." He grinned widely, and I saw he was getting competitive. I smirked back at him looking ahead. We were racing to the music room. Castiel was going there once the class left for physical education. I decided to go with him after he gave me a sip of his monster. He started running ahead. I saw a flash of blonde hair.
"Castiel slow down!" I shouted. He saw it too, but he was already crashing into Nathaniel. The two were knocked to the ground. I skidded to a clumsy stop, and a white-haired boy steadied me. Castiel glared at him jumping back brushing off his clothes as if he touched the most disgusting thing in the world. Nathaniel glared back with the same amount of spite as he was helped to his feet. He glanced down at me, and smiled.
"Oh Liyah. What are you two up to?" He raised an eyebrow suspiciously.
"We're going to the music room." I heard an annoyed huff from Castiel.
"I was just there. The door is locked." The tall white-haired boy said. I smiled.
"Of course silly, Mister T is on a field trip with his class today, so he gave me the key" I took the key out of my pocket, and he seemed amused.
"Why did he give you the key?" Nathaniel looked at me with an unreadable expression.
"Because I usually go there during gym to practice." I smiled. "Nothing to worry about." Nathaniel glanced at Castiel skeptical. He sighed letting us pass. The white-haired boy came with us. He turned to Castiel humored.
"I suppose I should ask why you were running?" His voice was calm, and smooth. Castiel relaxed again smiling widely.
"Little Ly here thought that she could beat me in a race on monster." He replied with a smirk.
"You gave a little girl an energy drink?" I walked up the door to the music room opening it. I skipped over to the closet opening it too. I saw my guitar on the top shelf, and groaned. "I'm starting to question why they thought putting you in a room full of children was a good idea." The white-haired boy took the guitar down handing it to me.
"Thank you." I took it over to a counter opening the cabinet. "Now where are those guitar picks." I saw a small shiny blue object. "Found it." I picked up the small piece on plastic. It was plucked out of my hands my larger fingers, and I watched Castiel study the guitar pick carefully. He smirked.
"Is that a butterfly." I was surprised he noticed the yellow inside it. He tossed it back, and I caught it quickly.
"Actually it's a dragonfly." I corrected. Castiel rolled his eyes smiling. He sat back in a chair closing his eyes. I rolled my eyes as I watched him put headphones on. I quietly strummed my guitar softly.
"What is that?" I looked at the white-haired boy who had stopped writing in his notebook.
"Its just something my dad used to play for me." I replied quietly. He observed me. I noticed that his eyes weren't the same color. I stared back at green, and orange. He smiled.
"Do you mind playing it again?" I started playing the song again. He listened as he started writing again. After it ended he smiled. "Did your father make that?" I nodded. "I'm Lysander."
"I'm Liyah." I heard a soft snoring, and I looked at Castiel to find him sleeping. We both laughed as the door opened. I was surprised to see Nathaniel come in. Lysander looked just as surprised, but he smiled. He was followed by a white-haired girl in a white dress, and high black boots.
"Nathaniel; what brings you here?" He rested his leg on the other keeping it flat like a table. "Hello Rosalya." He greeted. I watched as her eyes fell on me.
"Awe you look adorable in that jacket." She studied my black jacket with a rainbow on the side. "Maybe with a green skirt..." She looked at me thoughtfully. I wasn't sure how I felt about this.
"Well I don't have anything to do, and Rosalya was looking for you." Nathaniel said. He seemed relieved to see Castiel asleep. Nathaniel glanced at me. "Hello Liyah."
"Hi Nathaniel." I started adjusting the strings on my guitar. Rosalya sat down next to me.
"I wish everyone could come; I'd be much more fun with Cynthia here." She sighed. Lysander smiled.
"You mean it would be much more fun playing dress up with Cynthia." He corrected. Rosalya laughed nodding.
"Cynthia?" I thought for a moment. "Does she have purple eyes?" I asked. Rosalya nodded.
"Do you know her?"
"Yes; she comes to the aquarium with James a lot."
"Green hair?"
"Can't miss it." I watched as Rosalya giggled.
"So do you work there too?"
"No I'm not old enough, but I like to help." I told her. She smiled.
"That's so sweet of you." She folded her hands in her lap sting in her chair with her legs up under her. She turned to Lysander.
"So what are you guys doing here?" She glanced at the sleeping Castiel with a grin.
"We were just hanging out." He replied writing more in his notebook. We all sat in silence so I started playing my guitar again.
Maybe this would have a happy ending.
I am so sorry. As i said in the a.n i cant update as much now, so decided to post something i never really planned to.