Genre: Angst
Characters: Chloe O., Jack B.
A/N: I'm not a Chlacker by any means, but I always felt that it was more of an unrequited love situation - despite Chloe's blatantly obvious dedication to Jack, he's never really looked at her that way. In a way, I honestly felt sorry for her, and so this angsty little plot bunny decided to pop up when it was least expected. Arlo's in here a little, too.
Lie in Wait
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them."
- Henry David Thoreau
"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?"
I turn around to face Arlo Glass, confused and more than a little irritated. "You talking to me, Arlo?" I ask the lanky analyst.
"Um, yeah," he says, obviously more than a little offended. "Why don't you just tell Jack how you feel about him?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," I scoff, looking slightly down. I'd be damn lucky if I wasn't facing him; maybe then, he wouldn't be able to tell how that sentence makes me react. But I'm sure the shocked look on my face and the stiffening of my spine has made my opinion on the matter obvious.
"Aha," he says, a smirk spreading across his face.
Damn it! "Arlo, go back to focusing on your little airplanes or whatever the hell Hastings hired you to do," I snap. "I'll be going up to his… er… my… office."
"Geez," he mutters as I storm off. As I walk up the stairs, security gets out of my way. They must realize just how pissed off I am, and they must be a little scared of me by now.
As I sink into Hastings's… well, my… soft, leather armchair, I realize just how much Arlo's words have affected me. Why haven't I told Jack how I feel about him?
Okay, there are multiple reasons for that. First of all, I'm married with a four-year-old child, and although my marriage to Morris is almost worse than the first time around, it's something familiar. Plus, I love Prescott with all my heart: just like Jack will do anything to make sure Kim's okay, I would risk my own life if it meant saving my only son.
I realize that I'm staring out at nothing. That's probably not the best idea I've ever had. I press a button on the remote lying on the table and start to leaf through footage recovered from President Hassan's crime scene. While I do so, I think of Jack and Renee. I can only imagine the looks on their faces when they realized that Hassan had already been murdered. I wonder how everything's going between them. They're probably at Jack's apartment. When I realize this, the crack in the center of my heart widens a little more. He's with Renee, I tell myself. He and Renee are probably going to act on the feelings that fueled most of last night's operation. That means there's no room for me, Chloe O'Brian.
I'm proud to say that I'm one of the few people Jack Bauer will trust with his life. The thing is, though, that it's not enough. It hasn't been for the last nine and a half years, anyway. I've seen him go through Kate, Claudia, Audrey… and I've always wondered what it would be like to be mutually in love with Jack. What would it be like to kiss his lips, to feel his skin against mine, to enjoy a sensation of intimacy that I haven't had with Morris for a long time?
That will never happen, though. Women who are with Jack end up getting hurt, for the most part, and even if, by some miracle, Jack loved me, too, I doubt he would start a relationship for that very reason. I give up everything for him: my heart, my knowledge, my energy… I give it all to him, unconditionally. Why? Because he's Jack, and even though I will never have the words to tell him, I love him with the type of fierceness most people only read about.
And so, I will help him through this. I will call his cell phone, and I will make sure that he doesn't put the blame on himself for Hassan's death. I will give him any information we get out of Samir Mehran, even though it's all classified. (The man has a right to know.) I will do whatever he needs and wants me to do for him.
"Mr. Hastings, we need you down at medical. Samir Mehran is going into cardiac arrest!" Cole shouts into the intercom.
Ah. Cole must not know that I'm the new CTU director. For the time being, anyway.
I turn on my earwig and quickly run down the stairs. As I race to medical, I finish up my last thought from my little monologue of self-pity. I suppose that a part of me will always lie in wait for the day when Jack Bauer looks at me the way he looks at Renee Walker.
