Disclaimer: I only WISH I owned Ita—I mean, Naruto. Silly me.

Summary: Being a medic calls for preparation for every possible disaster, and a very scholarly mind to memorize every medical book possible. Despite that, nothing could ever prepare Haruno Sakura for what awaited her… right in her own backyard (more like the bushes)! Perverted ItaSaku comedy. Please read and review!

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated my Homecoming fic since an eternity ago… Please don't kill me. x.x

Chapter One: Impossibility
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Midnight

Sigh…

That was the one action Haruno Sakura found herself doing lately. After the mission to find (or rescue, as her blonde friend would put) Sasuke failed, she just felt nothing but depression. After all, she had trained for three years in hopes of helping Naruto in his quest, but despite that she only got in the way again… for Captain Yamato had to protect her.

So, as her feelings of not being needed resurfaced for the second time in her life, she drowned herself in hospital work in hopes of forgetting everything that went wrong. And as usual, the pinkette walked back to her apartment after a long, tiring day. The sky was a dark midnight blue; it was the same with the street she walked on, only large circular spots of light from lamps littered it.

'Let's see…,' she rummaged around in her bag, '…did I buy everything I need for dinner?'

'No, of course you didn't,' said a voice in the back of her head. 'You're too useless to even make yourself dinner, so spare the trouble and go get yourself some take-out or some fast-food. Hell, you'd do the whole world a favor if you would just blah got blah take-outs blah blah jeez blah blah blah…' Outer Sakura slowly droned out Inner Sakura's usual ranting of their useless-ness, having already heard it one too many times. 'You know, it'd do the whole world a favor if you'd just shut up, Inner,' she thought. The reply came back in the form of a snort, as usual.

To Sakura, everything she has been doing ever since returning from that mission was just so… boring; so routine; Wake up, get ready, go work at the hospital, go back home, eat, and sleep. Really, it was all she could do (for three years!)… and that thought infuriated her. Not being able to take it anymore, she dropped her bag of groceries she had just bought, clapped her hands together, squeezed her eyes shut and extremely concentrated on the prayer at hand.

"God," she said aloud, not like anyone was around to hear her, "My life has always been full of disappointments, and I'm never needed by anyone, not even Ino, my best friend." She pauses, thinking carefully about her request. Then she said bitterly, "So if you STILL have a so-called 'plan' for my life like everyone thinks you do, then please, please… JUST GIVE ME A DAMN SIGN ALREADY!!" Gradually opening her eyes, she stood and waited for something to happen.

Nothing (excluding that bundle of hay rolling along).

So she waited some more.

Still nothing (except for a few chirps from nearby crickets).

"Screw this," she muttered under her breath. Frustrated, she kicked the bag, sending it into the next park across the village and continued her journey home until the smell of something metallic wafted to her nose.

The pink-headed medic stopped dead in her tracks, medical instincts and adrenaline kicking in. That kind of scent could only mean one thing and one thing only: blood. At this time? But where? Focusing, she sent small waves of chakra out from her body in search of the source. After a moment, she pinpointed the location in her mind; a little ways to her right, hidden among the bushes and leaves of nearby trees. Immediately her legs broke out into a sprint while her hands readied the healing chakra. However, there was a problem.

The legs that carried her came to a screeching halt as soon as it began running. The person who lay before her had leaves and small roots entangled in his ebony hair, which covered his pale features like a waterfall. His breathing was shallow and labored, his figure helplessly sprawled out. Blood was steadily flowing from his head, as well as from his torso. This was the person she had expected to see. It 

was the one person whom she had always blamed for her sadness, the one person she had always blamed for Sasuke's betrayal.

That person was someone by the name of Uchiha Itachi. Sasuke's older brother.

'What the hell is HE doing here?! Could he be after Naruto again?' she thought. 'No, that can't be. He wouldn't have come after him if he was this injured. Who could've possibly done this to him?'

Regaining her composure, she began treating his injuries. Among them were several stab and slash wounds (non were fatal) accompanied by a severe concussion. She promised herself when she apprenticed under Tsunade that she'd heal any and all those who're in need, and he shouldn't be an exception, even if she wished for his death; she simply abhorred hypocrisy.

How and why this man was here in Konoha at all was beyond her, but for the moment that would have to wait. The only thing she should be focusing on now are his wounds…

A few hours later, at Sakura's house (3:00AM)

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsssss!!

Cold, crisp water gushing from the faucet splashed against Sakura's bloody hands. She looked at the mirror and stared at the bandaged figure in her bed. A tired sigh escaped her lips.

"I'm going to report this to Tsunade-sama tomorrow," she mumbled to herself. After all, it's 3 AM in the morning and damn did she want to crawl into bed and get some shut-eye. Problem was, he was in her bed (she had laid him there without thinking) and if she simply lacked the strength to move him after draining herself of chakra. Would she have to sleep on the floor?

She glanced down at it. Doing nothing but hospital work and not house work all the time left the floor dirty and neglected, not to mention that there were even bugs skittering across. Sakura had two choices at the moment before her body turns off on her: the floor with creepy critters, or the bed with a weasel.

She took the bed.

1:00 PM (that's 10 hours lol)

Nnnnn…

Her eyes fluttered open to the afternoon sunlight. Having ten hours worth of sleep powering her, Sakura slowly sat up, stretched and yawned. Then she looked to her left to check on a certain weasel, but…

… Oh Dear God. The weasel's gone.

Her eyes instantly widened in shock and she began to frantically look about her room. This could be bad, really bad; An S-class criminal is missing after being treated by a certain pink-haired medic, and she could be branded as a traitor if he was seen leaving her apartment! Sakura stumbled across her room in her panic and tripped over her own feet, landing on a dark article of clothing; pants. But wait a minute… the pants was too big to be hers, and the brand didn't match what she usually wore. That could only mean that--

Her thoughts were interrupted by a poke from behind. Mind freezing, the pinkette slowly turned her head around (why did he POKE her, of all the things he was capable of doing?) and there he was, Uchiha Itachi…

…nude, unless you count the bandages that messily wrapped around his torso and waist. His hair tie was God knows where, allowing his hair to grace his shoulders and back. He was sitting on his knees, and he was just about to reach out to poke her again until Sakura screamed.

"GYAAAAHHH!!" she shrieked as she shot up from her position, blushing. Pointing a finger at him, she yelled, "W-why the HELL are you N-N-NAKED?! And w-why did you t-take off your pants?! P-put some clothes on dammit!!" Looking up, Itachi only gave her a questioning stare.

"A… ano…" her eyes darted around the room nervously, wanting to look at anything else other than his body. 'Hot damn, Outer,"Inner Sakura whistled. 'He has some nice abs… not to mention those legs of his. Oh, if only the bandages weren't in the way!' Outer Sakura could only imagine what Inner wanted to do.



'Sh-shut up, Inner! This man is dangerous! He's the one who ruined Sasuke's life and attempted to capture Naruto! There's NO WAY I could ever think of him l-like th-that,' Sakura inwardly replied. 'Oh really? Then why are you stuttering, huh?' Hm. Outer Sakura had to admit, she didn't have anything to say to that. Anyways, back to reality. The "dangerous" man, Uchiha Itachi, was still staring at her, and he was still nude. He then began taking off the bandages. '…Wow… Go slower…'

"Erm…" she paused, trying desperately not to look at the scene in front of her. "Hey! S-stop that! Didn't you hear me? G-go put some clothes on!" He stopped, bandages still in hand. Again, he only looked at her, blinking as he did so. She tried again. "Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

"Do… do you even un… understand… what… I'm saying?" he carefully imitated Sakura. She stared at him. Is he making fun of her?

"What's one plus one?" she asked, eyes narrowing.

"What's… won plus won?" he mimicked. Again, Sakura could only stare at him. Itachi didn't seem to understand her at all. Sakura thought back to when she had discovered him. She remembered that he had a concussion. Slowly, her mind put two and two together, and only then did it hit her.

Itachi had full-blown amnesia (1).

'This… cannot be happening,' she thought. 'Oh yes it is!' squeaked Inner. 'Just a little bit more to the—' 'INNER, FOR THE LAST TIME, SHUT UP!'

At Tsunade's Office (1:30 PM)

"Okay, so let me get this straight," began the blonde haired Hokage, "You were walking home late last night when you discovered him not too far from your apartment." Sakura nodded. "… and he was badly wounded, so you took priority healing him. Afterwards, you didn't have much energy left so you went to sleep," Tsunade continued. Another nod. "And you wake up only to find that he has full-blown amnesia?" she finished. Another nod.

An awkward silence filled the room.

"… Um… I don't know what else to say but… wow," said Tsunade. She glanced over at the raven haired young man standing next to Sakura, wearing the biggest shirt and baggiest pants the pink haired medic could find (his Akatsuki uniform was dirty and bloodstained). It was albeit strange, seeing a dangerous criminal eyeing the bubblegum hair innocently.

"That's it? 'Wow'?" Sakura said, dumbfounded. "What am I going to do now?"

Tsunade spoke slowly, thinking, "Well if I'm not mistaken, he doesn't understand anything. Correct?"

"Yes.."

"Then," Sakura's shishou shrugged, "take care of him for the time being until he does… I guess?"

Sakura stared wide-eyed at the world's most big chested woman in front of her. "Sorry?"

"Exactly what I just said," Tsunade was confident now, "take care of him. That will be your new mission, Sakura; take care of him, and if he remembers anything important report it to me immediately. Yes… That's an order, Sakura." That was the end of the conversation. Sulking, Sakura took hold of Itachi's wrist and led him out.

'This could be interesting,' thought Tsunade. 'I know you hate it Sakura, but you've been pretty depressed lately. Hopefully this would lighten up your mood a bit, although the fact that the Uchiha came here again was quite disturbing… what could he have come here for?' Thinking made the busty blonde's head hurt. Waving the thoughts aside, she grabbed a sake bottle from under her desk and began drinking.

Sakura walked through the civilian crowds, Itachi closely following. Whispers and murmurs could be heard and people were eyeing the both of them strangely.

"Wow, check those two out. Are they a couple?"

"How cute!"

"Is there something wrong with the guy? He's wearing a bunny shirt.."

"He's so hot! There shouldn't be a reason why she's sulking…"

Sakura sped up her pace, as well as Itachi. Looking up at the sky, she thought, 'Please tell me this isn't the sign, God.'

Chapter 1 End
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(1)I don't even know if it's possible to forget everything, literally. But this is fanfiction, so let's just say it is.

So… did you like it? Please read and review… oO

- Wingless Fallen Angel