Author's Note: So the writer's strike is over now, yay!...I don't know if we'll be getting any new 'Practice' until fall though, so fanfic will have to hold us over.
This is my first PrP piece, along with being the first for Viper. I'm not really sure what it is about it, but when I started writing (It was originally Pedison, I'll admit, but when the idea fleshed out, I realized it fit Violet and Cooper better), I couldn't stop. The ending is a little different than what I intended, but I think it fits.
Dedicated to Cara, because she puts up with me and listens to my PrP/Grey's/Lost rants. That, and she made those videos for me when I wouldn't shut up about it. I'm technilogically challenged, so this is my way of paying her back. ;)
Dislaimer: Nope, I don't own Private Practice, Violet, Cooper, or Tim Daly for that matter. Though I must admit, that last one would be nice. ;)
It had been one of those days. A hard case, and the last thing that had been on Cooper's mind that night was calling Violet and spilling out everything that he'd struggled to hard to confine for months. Despite that, after a night of Poker (and a significant amount of alcohol) with Pete and Sam, it was eventually what happened.
He went home feeling something slightly over being sober, but Cooper convinced himself that he was going to be fine. Everything would work out the way that it was supposed to, even if he'd lost miserably to a gloating Pete that night. He deserved to win, Cooper thought. Pete had been moping around for a few weeks, and while he wouldn't disclose the reason why, it was pretty much obvious.
Women. That, and everything to do with them.
Cooper laughed as he stared out of the open bedroom window, waking up just a fraction due to a chill that was in the air. He swore he wasn't going to let her pull him back in, but he already knew that it was happening. Whatever it was that he'd had with Charlotte had long since ended, and he felt that he was better because of it.
Take a shower. Go to bed. Sleep. In that order, it seemed easy. But somewhere along the way, Cooper picked up the phone.
Violet returned home at a very early hour the next morning-a little after one, actually-with the idea of sleeping off that night. She hadn't intended to stay out as late as she had. But after Addison suggested a night out in an attempt to fogret the sorry excuse for men in their lives, Violet couldn't resist.
Naomi mused about what was happening between her and Sam. It wasn't going the way that she wanted to, but she was too stubborn to let it go. Addison, on the other hand, said that she was swearing off men altogether. "HotCop just isn't so hot...and Pete-" She'd trailed off, her eyes growing a little glassy before Naomi snapped her fingers in an attempt to bring her back. She said she didn't know what was going on with Pete, and that for the moment, she didn't particularly care. Violet insisted that she herself had no real problems, but when a tipsy Addison made mention of the failed "friends with benefits" she and Cooper once embarked on, she quickly clammed up.
Sliding off her shoes, Violet released her hair from the ponytail she had it in, and set her purse on the table. Seeing that she had a message, she pressed 'play'.
"Violet? Violet, it's me. It's...Cooper."
She smiled instantly, but had a feeling due to the tone he was using that he wasn't completely sober. She padded quietly into the kitchen, Cooper's message following her.
"Well, I guess you're not home. I guess you're...you're out or whatever. Anyway, I just called to say...well, what I want to say-"
Violet returned to the living room with a bottle of water, but stopped momentarily next to the answering machine, as if standing near it would make his words come any faster.
"-well, I've been wanting to tell you a lot of things. A lot of things. Things that you'd probably hit me and scream at me for saying if I told you in person. Why does the phone always make things like this easier?"
She frowned, but an amused look crossed her face as she settled into the couch, her eyes still fixated on the machine.
"Anyway, I just...you're an incredible person. You're an amazing friend, and I know that I haven't...I haven't been. I know that you hate me for what happened with Charlotte, and the whole friends with benefits thing, but-" His voice stopped momentarily as he drew a breath. "-I couldn't do it. You've gotta know that, Vi."
He may not have known what he was saying, but somehow the conviction that he managed to keep in his voice, though slightly slurred, compelled Violet to keep listening. Worry crept through her though, and she tried to stay focused. "What's going through your head, Cooper?"
"The truth is, you're too important to me. I haven't exactly done a good job of proving that. Nope. Not a good job. How did things get so screwed up?"
"I don't know." Violet murmured before slowly taking a sip from her water.
"I miss you. I miss the way that you smile when you're happy, or the look you get in your eyes when you're angry. I love...I love that, Violet. I do. I love that you care so much about your patients, that you're so dedicated to your job and to the practice. I love that you gave Addison a chance. She's a nice girl, you know."
Violet smiled again, but felt a wave of uneasiness settle in the pit of her stomach. Where was he going with this?
"I love that you stood up to Alan, finally. I love that you're not one of those women who just get so...so consumed in their rela...relationships. Well, at least not anymore. I hate what he did to you, Vi, but I know that you're stronger because of it. You are stronger because of it."
Her eyes misted over, and she was struggling with the idea of simply driving to see him, regardless of how late it was. That, and somewhere inside, she felt the sudden urge to go and delete his message. How could he do that? How could he say all of those things after the way that he refused her offer? She was walking over to press the button, but what Cooper said next made her freeze.
"I love you, Violet. I.Love.You. I know it's-it's crazy, I know. I shouldn't. I shouldn't say it, or think it. I should.not.feel.it. But I do, Vi. I do. I'm crazy about you, and I have been for a long time. A very, very long time. You drive me crazy with everything that you say, and that you do. You make me so-you just make me mad, okay? You say that you wanted to be friends with benefits, that you don't want any strings. I get that, I do. I do, really. But I could never do that."
Violet's hand flew to her mouth as her eyes widened. While a part of her had always wondered, somehow hearing him actually say it made it that more real. Her knees were growing weak, but whatever it was he was saying suddenly seemed vitally important. She knew it was irrational, but it didn't stop her from thinking it.
"And now I guess you know why." Cooper's sigh was audible. "Look, I should go. I just...I felt like I needed to tell you, Violet. You deserve someone who sees you and accepts you for who you are. Maybe that isn't me, I don't know. Maybe it is and we've both been too blind to see it. I don't-I don't know. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that machine'll cut me off so...goodnight?" He laughed. "Whatever you do, just don't hate me. Please. Bye."
"I don't hate you." Violet whispered to the now silent room. She heard the answering machine asking if she wanted to save the message, and she struggled with her decision. She couldn't just ignore it. She couldn't just pretend that it hadn't happened. He loved her, and he called to tell her. Maybe he wasn't sober when he said it, but it didn't make it any less true. Sighing, Violet walked back to the couch and pulled the blanket off the back to wrap it around herself.
She'd considered him as a choice, after she finally decided that Alan was completely out of the picture. Cooper was right, that she was better because of it. Still, when nothing materialized, she began to dismiss the idea altogether. He loved her. Even if he never said it in person, she'd always have his message. Laughing, Violet stared at the empty room around her, and found herself realizing that even though there was no one else there, on some level she'd never really be alone.