Anniversary
She found him, as she always found him on this anniversary, out in the fields staring off to the West as the sun set lighting the crops like wildfire. He had, as was his yearly custom, already visited Masters Merry and Pippin. No doubt it had been a joyful meeting as they reminisced about their never forgotten friend. And yet the day left him, as if always left him after parting with them, with an even bigger hole in his heart. As she neared him, she could tell from the expression on his face that he was far away from the Shire, lost in those precious memories that he remember more vividly and more fully on days like today. He was thinking of a kind and benevolent master who would never again return to Middle Earth.
She hated to intrude on his thoughts. Very rarely did he ever take time for himself, always too busy helping out his family or any other being or creature he could. That was just the sort of hobbit he was. But looking up at the sky she saw that it would soon be darkening. Her heart sunk at the sight of him. She hated to see him sad. It did not profit him to dwell on dreams that could never be. "Dad?"
Sam turned to Elanor, he smiled at his first born, his eldest daughter. It was only in times like these that she noticed his smile never reached his eyes, as it was wont to do when it was thinking about Mister Frodo. "Yes, Elanor?"
"Mum sent me to get you. Supper's almost ready."
"Lost track of time. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here to get me, dear." Sam took one last longing look at the West and then turned back with Elanor.
They headed home to Bag End, Mister Frodo's old hobbit hole that he gave to Sam upon his departure to Valinor. Elanor knew it was a constant reminder to her father of Misters Bilbo and Frodo, of happy times. Yet her father made it a home for them, as was fiting. He did not keep it as a shrine, except for the study that they spent so much time in. Only that was off limits to her brothers and sisters, and yes, even her mother. Sometimes, when he was away, Elanor would sneak in there and have a look around. Sometimes, Elanor could swear, when it was very quiet, which it hardly ever was with a family as big as theirs, that she could almost hear voices from the past come alive again.
"I wish you could have known Mister Frodo better, Elanor," said Sam suddenly, with one foot in the past and one in the present. "You were such a small lass when he left. I wish your brothers and sisters could have known him as I did. But he had to leave. He was in so much pain and wasn't getting any better. He saved this Shire, Elanor. For you, for all of us...." Sam's voice trailed off, once again the past had claimed him.
Elanor let her father ramble at times like these. She and her siblings had grown up on Mister Bilbo's and Frodo's adventures. They owed their comfortable existence to him. As much as she had grown up admiring Misters Bilbo and Frodo, she had also grown up admiring her father as well. He always downplayed his role in the War of the Ring, but according to Masters Pippin and Merry, Mister Frodo would not have gotten very far without her dad.
But as much as she loved and admired the fellowship for their heroic deeds, and as much as she knew her dad loved her and her family completely and devotedly, she couldn't help the twang of jealously that beat for a moment or two in her heart. She knew her own mother felt it too sometimes. In times like these she worried that her Dad wanted to be off in Valinor with Mister Frodo, that he wished he had made the journey with him all those years ago.
Elanor mentally shook her head. It was ridiculous of course. Her father had stayed hadn't he? He had been a ringbearer once. He could have left. But he didn't. He stayed. He stayed because he loved them, because there was work to do in the Shire. Elanor just didn't like days like these because it brought back her fear that he regretted not leaving with his master. It was a ridiculous fear, she thought.
She desperately wanted to cheer him. He who had brought so much joy into everyone's lives should never have a moment's sorrow. She couldn't find any cheerful words as the day finally darkened into night. But she did find some words, words that she believed, words which she knew would bring comfort to her father's heart. "He would have been so proud of you, Dad. All you've accomplished in the Shire. He saved all this for you just as your goodness and loyalty saved him."
Sam could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he gave his daughter a smile, a smile that this time reached his eyes. "I like to think so, Elanor." He pulled her into a tight hug, a hug Elanor returned, thought that he was the luckiest hobbit alive to have such a wonderful daughter, a wonderful family, wonderful friends...
Releasing her, he realized that they were already home. The joyful sounds and wonderful smell of cooked mushrooms were pleasantly assaulting them. Supper was ready. Kissing the top of her head, Sam said, "Go on in. Tell your Mum I'll be right there."
Elanor nodded and went inside the cheerfully lit Bag End.
Sam turned and gave one more longing look out West, into the dark night. There was so much to do here in the Shire. It wasn't time yet. It wouldn't be for many years. Despite his present happiness there would always be a part of him that was torn, missing. But when the time was right, his heart would know it and then he would join his master in the Undying Lands.
She found him, as she always found him on this anniversary, out in the fields staring off to the West as the sun set lighting the crops like wildfire. He had, as was his yearly custom, already visited Masters Merry and Pippin. No doubt it had been a joyful meeting as they reminisced about their never forgotten friend. And yet the day left him, as if always left him after parting with them, with an even bigger hole in his heart. As she neared him, she could tell from the expression on his face that he was far away from the Shire, lost in those precious memories that he remember more vividly and more fully on days like today. He was thinking of a kind and benevolent master who would never again return to Middle Earth.
She hated to intrude on his thoughts. Very rarely did he ever take time for himself, always too busy helping out his family or any other being or creature he could. That was just the sort of hobbit he was. But looking up at the sky she saw that it would soon be darkening. Her heart sunk at the sight of him. She hated to see him sad. It did not profit him to dwell on dreams that could never be. "Dad?"
Sam turned to Elanor, he smiled at his first born, his eldest daughter. It was only in times like these that she noticed his smile never reached his eyes, as it was wont to do when it was thinking about Mister Frodo. "Yes, Elanor?"
"Mum sent me to get you. Supper's almost ready."
"Lost track of time. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here to get me, dear." Sam took one last longing look at the West and then turned back with Elanor.
They headed home to Bag End, Mister Frodo's old hobbit hole that he gave to Sam upon his departure to Valinor. Elanor knew it was a constant reminder to her father of Misters Bilbo and Frodo, of happy times. Yet her father made it a home for them, as was fiting. He did not keep it as a shrine, except for the study that they spent so much time in. Only that was off limits to her brothers and sisters, and yes, even her mother. Sometimes, when he was away, Elanor would sneak in there and have a look around. Sometimes, Elanor could swear, when it was very quiet, which it hardly ever was with a family as big as theirs, that she could almost hear voices from the past come alive again.
"I wish you could have known Mister Frodo better, Elanor," said Sam suddenly, with one foot in the past and one in the present. "You were such a small lass when he left. I wish your brothers and sisters could have known him as I did. But he had to leave. He was in so much pain and wasn't getting any better. He saved this Shire, Elanor. For you, for all of us...." Sam's voice trailed off, once again the past had claimed him.
Elanor let her father ramble at times like these. She and her siblings had grown up on Mister Bilbo's and Frodo's adventures. They owed their comfortable existence to him. As much as she had grown up admiring Misters Bilbo and Frodo, she had also grown up admiring her father as well. He always downplayed his role in the War of the Ring, but according to Masters Pippin and Merry, Mister Frodo would not have gotten very far without her dad.
But as much as she loved and admired the fellowship for their heroic deeds, and as much as she knew her dad loved her and her family completely and devotedly, she couldn't help the twang of jealously that beat for a moment or two in her heart. She knew her own mother felt it too sometimes. In times like these she worried that her Dad wanted to be off in Valinor with Mister Frodo, that he wished he had made the journey with him all those years ago.
Elanor mentally shook her head. It was ridiculous of course. Her father had stayed hadn't he? He had been a ringbearer once. He could have left. But he didn't. He stayed. He stayed because he loved them, because there was work to do in the Shire. Elanor just didn't like days like these because it brought back her fear that he regretted not leaving with his master. It was a ridiculous fear, she thought.
She desperately wanted to cheer him. He who had brought so much joy into everyone's lives should never have a moment's sorrow. She couldn't find any cheerful words as the day finally darkened into night. But she did find some words, words that she believed, words which she knew would bring comfort to her father's heart. "He would have been so proud of you, Dad. All you've accomplished in the Shire. He saved all this for you just as your goodness and loyalty saved him."
Sam could feel tears welling up in his eyes as he gave his daughter a smile, a smile that this time reached his eyes. "I like to think so, Elanor." He pulled her into a tight hug, a hug Elanor returned, thought that he was the luckiest hobbit alive to have such a wonderful daughter, a wonderful family, wonderful friends...
Releasing her, he realized that they were already home. The joyful sounds and wonderful smell of cooked mushrooms were pleasantly assaulting them. Supper was ready. Kissing the top of her head, Sam said, "Go on in. Tell your Mum I'll be right there."
Elanor nodded and went inside the cheerfully lit Bag End.
Sam turned and gave one more longing look out West, into the dark night. There was so much to do here in the Shire. It wasn't time yet. It wouldn't be for many years. Despite his present happiness there would always be a part of him that was torn, missing. But when the time was right, his heart would know it and then he would join his master in the Undying Lands.