"I'm not drunk, Happy," Tony hiccuped from the back seat of the car, as Happy Hogan sped down the highway. Happy scoffed and looked at his boss in the rearview mirror; no seatbelt, bed-head hair, and it looked as though he was drooling on himself a little.
"I found you passed out on the bar, Tony. On the bar. Not just inside it, but on the actual bar. On top of shot glasses, too. That's like, a new record on the scale of alcoholics," Happy said angrily, as he dodged a red Volvo who honked a few times at him. Happy stuck his hand out the window and gave the red Volvo the finger.
Tony was a bit scared to be honest. Never, ever, ever did you see Happy Hogan this upset, and it was hard to believe that it was all over Tony drinking. He drank every day. He also passed out in bars often. It really wasn't that big of a deal. He just sat in the back seat nervously, both trying to not throw up, and to not anger Happy anymore.
Tony had also never witnessed Happy drive this fast, disregarding days on which they were driving to a race track. Tony liked to get pumped up with the speed before watching cars crash and burn. Happy maneuvered the car around those going too slow, and those going too fast, muttering under his breath as he drove. Tony swore he heard the words "asshole" and "drunk" in his quiet ranting, but he couldn't be sure.
Unsure of whether or not to say something, and afraid of saying the wrong thing by slip of the tongue, Tony decided to be the bigger man - he stifled a giggle because of his pervertedness - and break the silence. "Where are you taking me?" Tony asked as he slouched lower in the back seat, looking out the windows for some familiar scenery.
"To your house. Someone else can deal with you," came Happy's angry reply.
Judging by what he saw outside the rear windows of the car, Tony decided not to speculate on why he didn't recognize anything. It could be that Happy was taking a new route, or just a shortcut. But that was impossible - Tony had lived here how long, he surely would know every possible route to his mansion, right? Or it could just be that he was a little drunk. But just a little.
...
Apparently Tony had passed out in the car, because he was woken up ever so rudely by Happy practically dragging his drunk ass out of the back seat.
"Hey, Wh-?" Tony began, as Happy yanked him to his feet and Pepper came running out from Tony's house.
"Happy! What's going on? Are you okay? Did something happen?" There was obvious worry in her voice. Tony noticed that she didn't take note of him. Happy opened the driver's door and looked at Pepper pointedly.
"Ask him. He's your problem now," he said before getting into the car and driving off, leaving a clueless Pepper with a dazed Tony.
Returning her focus to Tony, she realized that he did not look all too well. He was standing where Happy had pulled him too his feet, swaying slightly on the spot, and if Pepper wasn't mistaken, there were beads of sweat appearing on his forehead. She frowned and quickly walked over to him, and just as she reached up to put a hand on his forehead, he turned away from her and staggered to the nearest shrub; and Pepper just looked away as she heard him wretch.
Upon hearing the silence of Tony, she turned to look at him bending over with his hands on his knees. She gave a deep sigh and walked over to him, putting her hand on his back. He looked up at her once he felt her touch.
"Let's go inside," Pepper murmured, as Tony nodded slightly and she put her arms around him to help him make his way inside, so he wouldn't stumble over and crack his head on something if she let him go alone.
...
Pepper set him down on his couch, and he just looked all around with extremely dilated pupils. She rushed to the kitchen and poured him a glass of water. A very, very large glass of water, which, as she sat down on the couch beside him, she forced him to drink
"I don't like water. It has no flavor," Tony complained sourly, as he put the glass to his lips and began to chug.
Finishing the glass of water, he frowned and stuck his tongue out in disgust, as a very satisfied Pepper took the glass and went to refill it.
She must have made him drink six or seven glasses of water, Tony making a complaint each time. But this wasn't even an issue, she was trying to sober him up at least a little, so he wouldn't die of alcohol poisoning. She knew the drinking must have been pretty hard and heavy if Happy had to bring him home. It usually didn't get that bad.
On the ninth glass of water, Tony sat with it half-full, just looking at Pepper. His eyes traveled over her face, taking in every detail his slightly blurry vision could see. He loved her freckles; the way they were oh-so-perfectly placed on her face. He loved the way her bright blue eyes glistened in the sunlight, and how soft her expression normally was. The little crease that formed between her eyebrows when she was concerned or worried; Tony loved that too.
He just sat on the couch with his half-full glass of water, staring at Pepper with a completely awestruck expression. His eyes were filled with a gentle, amazed expression, and he reached up with his free hand and touched Pepper's cheek. Pepper didn't say a word, and just looked back at Tony. He moved his fingers along her cheek, as she continued to look back at him.
"You are so beautiful," Tony whispered, and then he promptly passed out, the glass of water spilling onto the floor.
...
The next morning, Pepper entered Tony's house to find him sitting at the kitchen counter sipping at a cup of coffee, and flipping the pages of the newspaper. She sat down beside him with a stack of papers, and smiled.
"Well, good morning ," she murmured.
Tony raised his coffee mug in salute.
"Morning to you too."
The two sat together in silence; Pepper doing her paperwork, and Tony trying to hide the fact that he was hungover. It was as though the previous night hadn't happened. As though Happy hadn't picked him up completely smashed from a bar and brought him to Pepper. As though Tony hadn't touched her face and told her she was beautiful.
Pepper looked up at Tony curiously, watching as he took sips of his coffee; noticing that his eyes were sunken. He was indeed, extremely hungover, but doing his best not to show it. She knew he wasn't going to mention anything. He might not even remember anything. But Pepper was sure that he did, he always remembered. But he didn't always speculate.
Tony looked up from his newspaper to see Pepper looking at him, and they smiled at each other.
That was when Pepper decided that she was more than a little bit sure she had imagined the previous night.
...
A/N: Pleaaaaase review? :) I dunno where this came from, it just kinda seemed like something Tony would do. I've been writing a lot of drunk!Tony lately. Again, no idea why.