EPISODE ONE: Jack And Jill

'Twas a beautiful day when Jack accidentally killed himself. The old fool, too stupid to fall vulnerable to senility, decided it would be the perfect day to learn how to swim. Jack was wrong. Thinking himself to be a master of self teaching professions, the old man walked as far as he could out into the lake, never to be heard from again.

Heir to the property, farmer Jack's son (Indabox) and his lovely wife did not think it was appropriate to change from the big city life to such a primitive form of living so suddenly, and declined the offer. Instead, they decided that their young son was now mature and responsible enough to handle moving out and starting his own legacy by himself. They were right.

The boy's name, oddly enough, was Jack the second, or Jack II. He was named on the basis that he resembled his grandfather, although, he was nowhere near being anything like him at all. It was his younger sister, Jill, that acted like Jack the 1st in every way… quite unfortunately.

It was decided that Jill would be sent out to sea on a boat with a crazy captain, hopefully never to be seen again.

When all was ready, Jack II was sent on his way to his grandfather's old farm in a place that was now known as "Mineral Town". The town had survived many disasters over the years, all in some way caused or at least partly caused by Jack. As technology became better and more useful, so did the production of the town and it continued to strive with the next generation of villagers.

Upon his arrival, Jack II looked around at the property and smiled to himself. All this was now his.

"Hello." Came a friendly voice.

Jack II looked behind himself, but no source could be seen anywhere.

"Down here." It was the mayor of the town, an aging little man with a very wide smile.

"Oh, hi." Jack II greeted.

"My name… I not important. Call me 'Mayor', I like that best. The townsfolk have all gathered at the next farm over and are eagerly awaiting your presence! Ofcourse, not all of them could make it because we are a very busy people, but a many were too excited to pass up the chance to meet our newest member of Mineral Town!" the short man said gallantly.

"Oh, that sounds great. I don't want to keep anyone waiting, lead the way" Jack tried his best to remember his manors and relay pleasantries.

The two walked up to Barley Yodel's farm to a crowd of girls and a few less important guests. Old Barley lived here with his young granddaughter, May, and their dog, and he seemed an odd little man. One by one, the people were introduced by the mayor.

The first girl, Popuri, had long pink hair, and seemed a little stuck up to Jack II, but he enjoyed a challenge. The second girl, Karen, had long blond hair, and seemed like a very friendly person. Both girls were gorgeous as far as Jack II was concerned, and he instantly decided that he was going to have fun wooing each of them.

Ann was next, a cute girl with orange hair and a wide mouth. Unlike the other two girls, she had quite a bit to say in the brief span of their introduction.

"Hi, I'm Ann and I live with my father at the Inn. It's a bar at night time and it gets pretty lively sometimes so you should definitely think about…"

"That's enough, Ann," The mayor pushed Jack II along to meet the others, clearly annoyed with the girl.

Mary was the next girl to be introduced, she was a shy and quiet looking girl with thick glasses and braided black hair. The mayor introduced her, and she just stood there, barely able to look Jack II in the face and not saying a word, but with a hint of a shy smile being hid by the downward angle of her face.

Another amongst the crowd included Rick, Popuri's brother, who had thought it important to lecture Jack on staying away from both his sister AND Karen. Jack II knew he wasn't going to like this red headed, four eyed geek. His mother, Lillia, had also come to meet him. She looked exactly like Popuri, but older and seemed much more pleasant. Duke, the winery owner and his wife, Manna, had also come to greet the new villager.

They all seemed like a very lively bunch, and Jack II knew that he would fit in well with them all. Yes, this was to become the greatest time in the young boy's life, and it seemed as though there was nothing that could ever screw it up.

Intermission

"Ahoy, Mateeeee!" the loud mouthed girl screamed at the top of her lungs from atop the sails. The large ship carried an entire crew of misfits and their crazy captain day in, day out, through the vast seas. The captain was always drunk, but tried his best to discipline the young crew and teach them in the ways of sailing.

"Get down from there, Jill! We're in the middle of a storm! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?!" the captain yelled up as loud as he could, hoping she could hear his words through the crashing of thunder and the endless assault of waves. The rains were coming down is torrents, and the young crew were huddled inside their cabins in fear of the murderous thunderstorm… but not Jill.

"I can't hear you!" Jill laughed as the sails swung her high in the skies. The poor girl had no idea what she was getting herself into, and soon the course of her life would change completely.

"Jill! I can't come up there and get you! Please! Come down from there!" the captain tried yet again.

Just then, Jill spotted an island up ahead. She yelled out "Land Ho!" and swung down the length of the sails with glee. The captain ran to try and catch her, but he was too slow. Jill landed roughly atop a large pile of potato sacks, giggling like a maniac in amusement as the captain tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground.

"Potatoes!" Jill ripped open a sack and started throwing the crops at her fallen leader. It was by their own misfortune that one of the potatoes knocked a lit cigar out of the captain's mouth and landed too closely to a bag of gunpowder. An explosion sounded and knocked Jill all the way to the back of the ship, briefly knocking her unconscious.

In a few short seconds, she shook her head wildly and noticed that the ship was now completely on fire. Most people would have panicked in this situation, Jill found it hilarious, ignoring the fact that her captain and the crew members may now be dead. Rising slowly and dizzily to her feet, Jill danced in the rain and fire and sang unintelligently about the pirate life.

Uninterested in the fact that the ship was now breaking apart, Jill decided it was time to ask her fellow shipmates if hey would like to join her in her horseplay. It was then that the ship began to fall over and sink into the ocean depths.

"I don't want to swim…" Jill decided as she realized what was about to happen.

A loud crack of thunder and lightning sealed her fate and in another few seconds she was drowning in the harsh waters, wondering how that mean old captain had managed to do this to her.

Meanwhile, Jack II was having the time of his life back in Mineral Town. The mayor had shown him around to all of the important locations of the village and he had met many more interesting people along the way. The beautiful church was where the crowd gathered every Sunday to listen to Pastor Carter preached about the lord, the forest lands were where the park and mining cave were located, and the hospital was where the doctor and a sweet girl named Elli spent their time.

"So, what do you think of our humble home?" the mayor asked.

"It is the best place I've ever been to," Jack II lied through his teeth. Mineral town was boring. It was so old fashioned, and seemed nothing like he remembered from when he was a child and had come to visit his strange grandfather. However, he realized that it was important that ever man make his own place in the world, and this was his destiny to restore the farm to its former glory… and hook up with as many girls as possible along the way.

"Is there anything else you need guidance with?" the mayor was obviously tired, yawning loudly to hint that he was finished with "helping" for the day.

"No, I think I'll be fine, thanks." They said their goodbyes and were on their merry little ways.

Upon arriving back at his new home, Jack II noticed that the door was open a crack. That was peculiar, he hadn't even gone inside yet… someone is robbing me! I haven't even been here a day and someone has the nerve to try and rob me!

Jack II stormed inside his farmhouse and was ready to raise hell when a very concerned looking stranger turned and greeted him.

"Hi, I'm Gotz, the town carpenter. I was just walking along the beach when all of a sudden I found a young girl lying unconscious along the sands. She must have washed up on the shore, but she doesn't seem to remember what happened to her. I thought perhaps you may be able to take care of her for a couple of days while she recuperates, seeing how you live alone and all…" Gotz had been a little too bold in his statement, but Jack II didn't mind at all. He was excited at the thought of a girl staying with him and the only thought on his mind now was how cute she would be.

"No problem at all!" Jack II smiled to himself and walked over to the bed where the girl had been resting. He sat down on the end of the bed and gently shook her awake.

"Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack!" the girl jumped up instantly and hugged him tightly before he could register in his mind who it was that was clinging to him.

"…Oh god… please, no!" Jack II's dreams all suddenly came to a crushing death.

"We're gonna live together again! Forever and ever and ever and ever and…"

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Intermission

The next day was a beautiful spring morning. Jack II laid alone in the shade under a big oak tree, unable to keep his eyes open. Last night had been terrible, with his sister's constant screaming and yelling and dancing and stupid ideas. And there was nothing he could do at the moment about her, something had obviously gone horribly wrong on the ship she had been on and he figured it had all been her fault.

Perhaps in the coming week he would be able to send her back home to his parents and they could deal with her. As for the present, sleeping was not something he would have the luxury of doing.

"Whatcha doooooooin'!?" the annoying voice sent him ten feet in the air.

"What do you want, Jill!?" Jack II yelled.

"I wanna go to the beach!" she demanded.

"Rrrrgh! Then go!"

"I can't go alone 'cause it's dangerous and I don't know where I am and mummy and daddy aren't here to protect me and they said I'm too young and stuff!" she tried to explain what he knew all too well. She wasn't too young. She was too stupid.

"Mom and dad don't have to know. Go."

"Take me NOW!!!!!"

"Leave me the hell alone!" he screamed at her.

Jill started crying like a child and stamping her feet in protest. "You're mean!"

"I hate you!' Jack II jumped to his feet.

"You do not! You love me!" Jill stopped crying suddenly and got very serious.

"I hate you and I always have!"

"No you don't! You looove me, Jack looooves me!" Jill began to sing the words to her brother's annoyance.

"Who's this?" Karen appeared out of nowhere and started poor Jack II with her sudden presence. Karen was a very pretty girl, and he knew very well that Jill could screw up all chances he had of ever dating her.

"Jackie loves me, he loooves me!" Jill continued her squealing song.

"Uh, I… Karen, hi," Jack II stumbled over his words.

"This… is your girlfriend?" Karen asked.

"Her!?" Jack II was stunned.

Jill just then noticed the pretty girl in front of her and heard the word 'girlfriend', instantly believing that Karen was Jack II's new girl.

"Girlfriend! Yes! Jack Has a girlfriend!" Jill yelled excitedly, bouncing uncontrollably.

"Oh, I see…" Karen seemed surprised, and most likely a little frightened by the jumping maniac before her.

"Jill! Stop it!" Jack II didn't know what to do.

"Well my name is Karen, it's nice to meet you, Jill," Karen forced a smile. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with me today, Jack, but it seems that you already have plans. I'll see you later." Karen began her walk home as Jack II stood in place, absolutely mortified at what his sister had just cost him.

"Do you have any idea what you just did!?" Jack II was about to explode with rage.

"Yes! I met your girlfriend, and she is pretty!" Jill complimented. "Now let's go to the beach!" she grabbed her older brother by the arm and pulled him with her. There was nothing he could do but go along, his mind had not fully taken in what had happened, and he was too stunned to move of his own accord.

"Y…you…I, Karen…" he mouthed the words in astonishment.

The rest of the day was spent on the beach as Jack II sat by himself on the warm sand and thought about the tragic events that had taken place earlier and Jill splished and splashed her way through the water. If she had gone too far out, she most likely would have shared the same fate as her late grandfather.

It was as they were leaving that Jack II decided something had to be done about his sister. She had to go. He didn't know how or when he was going to get rid of her, but he knew that it had to be soon.

Before he had gone to mineral town, his parents mentioned that they wanted him to keep a diary that kept record of what he had accomplished. He had not done anything productive yet, but he supposed that he might as well write in it to explain why that was so.

Spring 2nd, Year 1.

This is terrible! I'm not here one day yet when who washes ashore but that little brat, Jill! Mom, dad, I dunno what you plan to do with that girl but she is making my life here a living hell! How am I supposed to get anything done with her around? I can't even sleep because she's so loud and annoying! I'm sending her back to live with you as soon as I can figure out a way to pay for the services.

It wasn't until Jack II fell asleep that Jill found the diary and decided that she should be able to write in it as well.

Dae 2, munth 1, yeer 1

I had fun on ship! Captin wuz rilly mad at mee, but heez gon nao and I im with mi big bruthr jakee so its ok. O o o! jak haz a grlfrend nao! Sheez rilly prity and stuff! 2dae we winted 2 the beeech and I plad in the wotr. I tink I swlod a fish! It wuz yummy.

THE END

(So there's the premiere! Hopefully the episodes will get funnier along the way, the season opener tends to be a little dry but its tough when you have to intro all the characters. Lemme know what you think and keep sending in your ideas!)