Child of Chow
Like most bizarre stories these days, mine has its start on the internet. What can I say? I was 40, bored, and fresh out of Regency Romances to read. I thought it might be a good time to "rejoin the living". Little did I know that when I typed up my profile and hit save, ( thus broadcasting my availability to every member of the largest internet dating site- "The pond") I had essentially taken the first step towards joining the ranks of the undead. Existence is so full of ironies.
I guess my profile had been posted for all of 30 minutes when I got my first e-mail. The picture next to the subject line was promising. It was of an attractive, middle aged man. He had the kind of smile you would see in a commercial for crest whitening-strips and was wearing a pastel colored polo. It turns out he wanted to know if I was into dominating men and being worshipped. In other words, he was looking for dominatrix. Disgusted, I hit the delete button. That e-mail was such a reflection of the times. Some eras are defined by their passion, others by their innovation, ours is defined by an absence of good taste and mystery. Why would anyone possibly want to know that someone had "exotic" tastes in bed in the first email? I mean, I am advocate of honesty, but can't people wait until you at least know their name or share a cup of coffee? It's another irony, the way people will share the most personal and intimate details of themselves with a total stranger because it's impersonal. But I digress...
So about 15 emails later, all in a similar vein, and all dispensed of in the same manner, I got an email from Yakuza2010. His picture showed an attractive Asian man in his mid 30's with the most elaborate tatoos I had ever seen. They were all over a lean, yet muscular and very exposed chest. His expression was, in a word, arrogant. I sighed and was going to delete it without reading it but doing that would just be hypocritical. After all, wasn't I the person who was always on a soap box about how superficial people are? Wasn't I always saying that people shouldn't judge each other on appearances. Just because he looked like a gangster didn't mean he couldn't be a nice guy, right? So I went ahead and hit open. It was the first normal email I got on that site. It just said, "Hi, are you asian? My name is Chow btw".
As it turns out, I am part Asian- Eurasian if you want to be politically correct, a happa, or half breed if you are Japanese. Thanks to that fact, I look like I am in my early thirties in spite of the fact I have been chain smoking for the past two decades. It's also the reason people refer to me as looking attractive in an exotic way. It seemed like a harmless enough email, so I replied. We exchanged a few more emails - you know the usual... what do you do? how was your day?met any people on here? etc. etc. I started to feel encouraged. Maybe there were normal, datable man left in Conneticut after all. He wanted to exchange numbers, but I don't give my phone number to strangers. We agreed to meet for coffee instead. It was Monday when we started emailing, our coffee date was set for Tuesday.
In retrospect, I probably should have found out a little more about Chow before agreeing to a meet and greet. I could have asked him, "what's your favorite food?","Do you like sunbathing?", "Don't you just love silver jewelry?" but hindsight is always twenty-twenty. Who knew Chow had a "don't ask don't tell" philosophy about being a vampire. In my own defense,I would like to point out that you aren't supposed to subscribe to "The Pond" if you are a vampire. There are other dating sites that cater to them. Guess Chow didn't read all the terms and conditions when he signed up. Anyway, Tuesday came and since I had no idea I had made a coffee date with someone who was dead, I was pretty excited.
I woke up that morning and I had something that wasn't part of my routine to look forward to, which was a nice change. I got into work early, prompting some comments from my boss about how we could expect snow (it was the middle of summer-everyone's a wit) .That day I got all my work done with the efficiency of Martha Stewart. When Five O'clock arrived, I was out the door and on I-84 before you anyone could say-"Maeve, I need the past two years of automobile claims reported by accident state, insurance status, and loss dollars- oh and could you have that ready for my nine o'clock meeting tomorrow morning?" Flying down the highway with my sun roof open and my music blasting, I was on top of the world.
Once I pulled into my driveway, my euphoria dampened a little. The difficult part started. What to wear? It was only coffee after all, so I didn't want to look like I had put too much effort into it. On the other hand, I didn't want to look like I hadn't made an effort either. I settled on the only pair of flattering skinny jeans I own and a Silk Kimono style shirt. The shirt has a peach and cream lotus flower print on it. My gold necklace shapped like snake and 8mm akoya pearl studs earrings completed the outfit. When I left my house, I had a smile of anticipation on my face, and a little strut in my walk. For once the couch wasn't going to have my butt parked on it. I had someplace to go and someone to see. I was going to meet the intriguing Mr. Chow. I was going to reclaim my spot among the living.
When I got to the starbucks across the street from Buckland Hills malls the first thing I noticed was that it was packed. The second thing I noticed was that it was packed with couples who didn't really know each other. I guess meeting for coffee was a popular "first date". I wondered if people switched up which starbucks they met at so they wouldn't run into previous coffee dates. I wondered if the employees at starbucks found it amusing to see the same people over and over again having coffee with different people each time. I wondered why I had thought that dating again after a year long hiatus was something I needed to do. I was just about to turn around and walk out when I felt someone staring at me. It took me a minute to find the source, but then I saw him. He was sitting in the back corner next to the cream and sugar stand.
Our eyes locked and in that moment I knew I wasn't going to be able to drink my Latte fast enough to suit me. Oh, he was gorgeous. He looked better in person than in his picture. But for all his intrinsic "hotness", there was something downright cold and creepy about him. It was his eyes- they were dead. I really didn't want to have a cup of joe with him anymore, but my mother had raised me to believe that a rude person doesn't deserve to live. I took a breath, braced myself, and walked over to his table.
"Hi" he said in a voice so sexy and smooth I involuntarily shivered.
"Hi", I forced my voice to remain level and cofindent " you must be Chow, I am Maeve. Is that extra cup mine or are you a two fisted coffee drinker?"
" I remembered you mentioned you like Venti Decaf Non fat lattes with one pump of sugar free caramel from your emails," he replied and gave me a smile that was intented to melt but had quite the opposite effect on me.
" That was sweet", I replied sitting down, grabbing the Latte, hoping he hadn't noticed that I had flinched.
The next fifteen minutes were basically spent with him asking me a question and me answering it inbetween scorching gulps of coffee. After each answer he would say,"uh-huh" or "oh" or "really?". There would be a brief silence and then he'd fire off his next question. I was just about to give up on finding a feasible excuse to explain why I had to leave that very instant, when he asked me about my upcoming recital. That inpsired me. It was such a relief to have an "out" that wasn't an obvious slight.
"funny you should ask me about that" I got up to throw my coffee cup in the trash. I didn't sit back down when I returned to the table." I was just thinking- I still need to practice the piece I'm performing. It's going to take me several hours tonight, so I should get going. It was nice to meet you, thanks for the coffee" I flashed him my best pageant smile.
" Come on, I am sure you play fine. What do you play again?" He said, not moving from his seat. There is nothing worse than someone who can't take a hint.
" Piano" I said, trying to keep my voice polite and pleasant," and as tempting as staying here may be, I really must go. If I had an eterenity to practice this piece, I would still need more time" I laughed at my own little joke, " see you later".
I turned and headed towards the door. It was startling to see his hand reach out and pull the door handle. He held the door open for me and began walking with me towards my car. Well, I had to give him credit for being a gentleman. Guess his momma raised him right.
" Don't I even get a hug?" he asked playfully when we got there. What could I say?
"Sure" I reached over to give him a hug. It was 80 degrees outside, but he felt very cold. This concerned me.
" You feel cold, I think your coming down with something. You might want to take a multi- vitamin or you know what?I hear that airborne stuff works pretty good." I said trying to be helfpful. For the first time, there was a trace of emotion in those cold black eyes. Was it amusement?
"Why don't you invite me to your home, I could help you practice" Chow said smoothly." I would love to hear you play". Ok, there was something very intense about the way he was looking at me. It was like a part of me felt compelled to say "Sure" but the rational part of me was screaming "Hell no!" I went with the rational part.
" Maybe next time" I stammered. Then I hopped in my car and flew out of the parking lot so fast I cut off a pickup truck that was pulling out of the McDonalds drive thru. The driver laid into his horn, and I could see him flipping me off in my rear view mirror. I could also see Mr. Chow laughing.
"Wierd", I thougt to myself and hit the gas. When I got home, the first thing I did was wash the makeup off my face. Then I changed into my old sweat shorts, tennis shoes, and tank top. Tuesday was my walking day. I liked to go putzing around the trails in the woods across the street from my house once a week. It was my excercise program. I usually wouldn't have been out so late. There are bats out this time of year. Since the last thing I needed was for one of them to fly down and get tangled in my hair, I tucked it all under a baseball cap. Then I grabbed my flash , the one I bought last week at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Satisfied I had everything, I crossed RTE 44 and headed into the woods.
The nice thing about my new flashlight is that it doesn't need batteries. You just shake it and it charges up. So I wasn't worried that I would be stuck on a trail at night with no light. As I walked along, I thought about my lack of a romantic life. Why was I always picking the wrong guy? If I was in a room with 25 guys I would get along great with, an one with whom it just wasn't going to work, I would end up picking the latter one. My guy-dar was definitely broken. Well, Regencey Romances really weren't that bad, I mused. It's so much better to read about drama than be involved in it, you know? At least you knew at the end of it all they were going to have great sex and a happy ending. I was abosrbed in these thoughts and managed to space out long enough to wander off the path.
"Shit!" I said to no one at all when I realized I wasn't on a trail. I was in the process of retracing my steps when I heard something moving through the trees.
"Shit! Shit! Shit!" I whispered to myself. I really hoped it wasn't a bear or a cayote... it was probably just a deer or a rabbit... I walked faster... that's when my little flash light died.
I was standing there, shaking my flashlight in one hand with the intensity of a man "spanking the monkey" while watching a porno, but the darned thing wouldn't turn back on. I heard movement again...I was in panic mode.
"F- this!" I shouted, and began running like a bride at one of those one-day-only, $50 dollar designer bridal gown, warehouse sales. I couldn't see where I was going, I didn't know which direction I was running, it was a stupid thing to do-run, invite a predator to the chase. I was thinking that I was being ridiculous: running through the forrest, probably from a rabbit, shaking my flashlight the whole way. About a minute into my run, I was thinking that I needed to quit smoking. My lungs were burning in a way only lungs subjected to twenty years of sedentary living and chain smoking could burn. Something was following me. Like an idiot, I did the thing you should never do when you are being pursued and are running in a panick through the woods. I turned to look behind me. That's when I tripped on a tree root and fell. The flashlight broke in the fall, the plastic cut into the palm of my right hand and blood trickled down my wrist. Blood was doing much more than trickling from my lower thigh. I had managed to cut my leg pretty deeply on one of the sharp rocks on the path.
I was winded, bleeding profusely, and being pursued. I couldn't muster the strength to stand up again, but I wasn't just going to give up. If there was something out there that wanted me, it would have to catch me on the go. I began to pull myself along with my left, uninjured hand. Rocks and roots were scrapping the skin off my legs with each pull, but I forced myself to continue. Why, oh why, didn't I bring my cell phone? I wondered. I'd been dragging myself along for about a fifty yards when my heart nearly froze in my chest as I realized something was hovering over me.
" Thought you were going home to practice" a voice I never planned on hearing again said. I turned and looked up. The last thing I saw was Chow shaking his head and looking at me the way a parent looks at a naughty child.