All I Want For Christmas

By Bashfulglowfly

"I'm going back to bed." Obito announced. He was standing, unmoving, in the doorway to the living room.

"We just came downstairs." Replied Kakashi.

"I'm not dealing with this. Again. I am going back to bed."

Kakashi looked over Obito's shoulder. And saw what Obito was looking at.

A furious demi-god bound and gagged on the floor.

"Oh."

Obito glared at his husband. "That's all you have to say?"

Kakashi shrugged. "He should have known better? After all, it's the second year in a row they've caught him."

"THIRD!" spit out Obito. "This is the THIRD year in a row they've caught him!" He glared right back at the fuming demi-god.

"Hmmm." Kakashi slid around Obito and walked up to the trapped demi-god. He nodded thoughtfully. "I think they've improved. They were able to gag him this time."

Obito stomped over and continued to scowl at the being on the floor. "One would think that for someone who is supposed to have a NAUGHTY LIST, that someone would freaking REMEMBER 'oh, that's the house where those two little shits that trapped me for the LAST TWO YEARS live. MAYBE I should be CAREFUL when entering that particular house!'"

Santa Claus struggled against his bonds. Grunting with effort.

Kakashi beamed at him. "You should stop. You look like a flopping elephant seal. And sound worse."

Obito walked back over to the stairs and yelled "NARUTO! SASUKE! Get down here and take care of the mess you made in the living room. NOW!"

There was a thump and a yelp. Obito winced as the bedroom door slammed open.

At the top of the stairs, two little boys appeared. One wearing green and red plaid pajamas with golden hair and mischievous bright blue eyes. The other with grey and black plaid pajamas and tousled black hair and black eyes that were gleaming with satisfaction.

"We got 'im?"

"Yes. Get down here and take care of him. I want him gone by the time I'm finished making breakfast." Obito strode into the kitchen. Breakfast prep was going to be extremely quick today he decided.

"YAY!" Naruto half-ran, half-tumbled down the stairs. Sasuke stayed on his feet but was just as fast. The two boys ran into the living room and with identical flying leaps that would be the envy of any television wrestler, landed on the rotund body of their victim.

Santa Claus' eyes bulged and the groan he gave was decidedly pained especially considering where Naruto's knees landed.

Kakashi listened to the boys' excited demands and hoped that they wouldn't get too creative. They were only six-years-old but both were capable of coming up with interesting ideas. Then he walked into the kitchen to bother…help…he was going to help Obito who already had the ingredients out, bacon in the pan and was whipping up the pancake batter.

Kakashi wrapped his arms around Obito, careful not to interfere with his movements. He rested his chin on Obito's shoulder. "You've got to admit that it's pretty impressive that they've caught him three years in a row."

Obito snorted. "Obviously he has memory issues because I certainly would remember that embarrassment and would try to avoid it."

"Well, it's not like they've also gotten the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy."

"The Easter Bunny is too smart to come in the house and it's too early for the Tooth Fairy. Besides, if she's smart, she'll tag team them with the Sandman." Obito froze then spun around, the whisk dripping with pancake batter held threateningly under Kakashi's nose. "Don't you dare give those two miniature demons any ideas about the others!" he hissed.

Kakashi held up his hands in surrender. "I won't. Promise."

"You better." Obito turned back around and dropped the whisk into the sink. "You start making the pancakes. I'll get the boys."

He walked into the living room just in time to hear Naruto say "…and a sister."

"NO!" Obito shouted in utter horror.

Santa Claus, now unbound, gave Obito an evil grin. "GRANTED!"

"You fat f,f,f,fart! I'm going to HELP them next year!" snarled Obito.

The look of triumph quickly disappeared from Santa's face. "Farewell!" he cried and disappeared up the chimney.

Three Weeks Later

The doorbell rang and since Kakashi was the closest, he went and answered the door.

Standing on the porch was a man and a woman. The woman spoke first. "I'm looking for a Kakashi Hatake?"

"And you are?"

"I am Kurenai Yuhi of Konoha Social Services and this is Yashamaru Hoshi of Suna Social Services."

Yashamaru spoke up. "Do you know a Mebuki Haruno?"

"She's my cousin but I haven't seen her in years."

"I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but she and her husband were killed in a car accident six months ago. We were only recently able to track you down." He reached behind him and pulled forward a little pink-haired, green-eyed girl that Kakashi hadn't noticed. "This is their daughter, Sakura."