Don't Close Your Eyes Chapter 1, a nashville fanfic

A/N: This is just a short little story based on how things could have gone when Maddie was little. As usual I own nothing.

Chapter 1

I know you loved him, a long time ago
Even now in my arms, you still want him I know
But darling this time, your memories die
When you hold me tonight, don't close your eyes

Teddy stood on the side of the stage watching the show go on in front of him. It wasn't the first time he had seen her on stage. It wasn't even the first time he'd seen her on the stage with him. It was the first time that he'd really let himself acknowledge the undeniable chemistry between his wife and the man who place he'd taken in her life.

He normally didn't let himself think about Deacon Claybourne and the hurt and pain he'd caused Rayna. Most days he did his best to forget that Rayna had spent their first year of marriage crying herself to sleep because Teddy wasn't Deacon. He forgot that she would much rather have Deacon's ring on her finger. He knew about the shabby little engagement ring Deacon had given her and she kept hidden in her jewelry box. He also let himself forget that the two-year-old little girl who called him daddy wasn't really his. She was just another woman that he'd taken Deacon's place in her life.

Tonight, he couldn't ignore things that way that he normally could. Since Rayna had brought Deacon back to her band, he'd been coming up with excuses not to make it to any of her shows. It had been a continuous point in their marriage, but she had insisted she needed to do it to be able to live with herself and what she'd taken from him without him knowing. Teddy had gone along with it, but he had made her swear that she would never tell Deacon the truth about Maddie and he had stopped going to her shows. It was the only way he could live with the situation.

He saw the very reason way he'd stayed away playing out on stage before him right now. It was clear that even though his ring was the one on Rayna's finger, on that stage she belonged to Deacon. Hell, that was evident off stage too if someone knew how to look for it. Teddy knew, he knew all the signs and the subtle little gestures that told him his marriage was on borrowed time.

Don't close your eyes, let it be me
Don't pretend it's him, in some fantasy
Darling just once, let yesterday go
And you'll find more love than you'll ever know
Just hold me tight, when you love me tonight
And don't close your eyes

Every time she kissed him, or hugged them, or every time they danced together, and most importantly every time they made love he could tell that her heart just wasn't into it. She'd never let herself react to him the way she was reacting to Deacon right now. They were face to face on the stage sharing a mic and staring into each other's eyes. The electricity that was still between them was barely contained. The sad fact was even when they were being intimate with each other Rayna never looked him in the eyes like that. She kept her eyes closed and it never seemed like she was in the moment with him. It always felt like she was a million miles and three years away from the moment they were in.

Teddy shook his head in disgust as the song turned to one of their older ones. One of the ones they had written while they were still together. He would have said while they were still in love, but he was getting hit in the face with the fact they were indeed still in love and the vows she'd taken with him didn't change that.

Maybe I've, been a fool, holding on all this time
Lying here in your arms, knowing he's in your mind
But I keep hoping someday, that you'll see the light
Let it be tonight and don't close your eye

The only time when he felt like she was halfway in the moment is when they did things as a family with Maddie. And then there were still times when Rayna would have a faraway look on her face like she was imaging doing whatever it was they were doing with Deacon and Maddie. He wasn't so stupid that he didn't know he should walk away and let them be instead of holding on so tightly and keeping Rayna in a situation that she really didn't want to be in. That's why he was here tonight.

After a year of ignoring the situation and hoping it would go away he was finally going to do something about it. It wasn't fair to anyone in that situation to keep living on pins and needles. He would always be afraid that Rayna was one moment of weakness away not only from letting Deacon back into her bed, but also telling him that Maddie was his daughter. He couldn't live like that anymore and he didn't plan to. It was time to settle this situation once and for all before someone got really hurt.

Just hold me tight, when you love me tonight,
And don't close your eyes

He was going to break the promise that he'd asked Rayna to keep and hope for the best from there. He couldn't keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. If things worked out the way he hoped they would this would prove that he was indeed the better man for her.

He didn't bother to stick around for the rest of the set. He only had one objective in mind and if he saw his wife before he completed it, there was a good chance that he wouldn't go through with it. This needed to come out in the open and it needed to come out now.

Deacon had his shirt off and thrown on the floor before he closed the dressing room door behind him. Two hours under those spotlights and he was drenched in sweat as usual. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler and twisted the top off. He drank from it deeply before he sat it on the counter. That didn't quench his thirst quite the way a could beer would, but those days were behind him.

A lot of things were behind him now. Part of him didn't know why he bothered to stay sober, he'd already lost everyone and everything that mattered to him. There was no reason for him not to drink as much as he wanted.

Before he could get too lost in his thoughts there was a knock on the dressing room door. He put on a clean shirt before he opened it with a smile on his face. "There she is my date for the night."

"Here she is. You have her for a couple hours while I take care of business like always." Rayna put her daughter in his arms. She didn't really need him to watch her, but it was a thing she did to give him time with the daughter he didn't know was his.

Deacon kissed the top of Maddie's head and breathed in deeply to savor her scent. There she was the reason that he didn't take a drink. He didn't want to let Rayna's little girl down the way he'd let her down so many times. "Hi, Miss Maddie, we will have a snack and then read one of those books you love so much."

"Dee," Maddie squealed happily.

Rayna put the diaper bag down on the couch. "Thanks for doing this. I know that Maddie enjoys your time together almost as much as you do."

He blushed and smiled boyishly. "Well, I really do enjoy spendin' time with this little lady. She's good practice for me. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to have one of my own someday."

She looked away from him. When he said things like that it made it harder and harder not to tell him the truth about Maddie's paternity. "You're gonna be a great daddy I can tell from the way you are with her." Her words were laden with guilt. She owed him better than this. He'd proven that he could stay sober and he was great with Maddie. She had no right to honor the promise she had made Teddy and keep him in the dark.

"I hope so." He laid a sweet kiss on Maddie's cheek.

"I know so. And who knows it might happen for you sooner than you think. Listen I know that we always do room service together after I get done with the boring work stuff. I thought we could talk 'bout some stuff tonight." She made up her mind. She was going to tell him about Maddie. The way she was living wasn't fair to anyone. She felt herself growing unhappier with each passing day.

"Sure, I'd love that." Deacon smiled. "Hold that thought, I'm a popular guy tonight." He opened the door after he heard another knock. His smile turned to a frown when he saw who it was.

"Deacon, are you gonna let me come in or make me stand out here?" Teddy asked.

"Come on in," Deacon fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Teddy, what are you doing here?" Rayna glared at him. This was out of bounds and her husband knew that.

"I wanted to talk to Deacon. I didn't know that you and Maddie would be in here. I'm not really surprised though." Teddy retorted.

"We ain't got a damn thing to talk 'bout the last time I checked." Deacon replied.

"We do we need to talk about Maddie." Teddy informed him.

"Teddy, that is enough. Go wait for me out in the hall now." Rayna banished him from the room.

"What is he talkin' 'bout, Ray?" Deacon looked confused.

"Deacon, I've got to talk to you after I get done doin' my press stuff tonight. And it's 'bout Maddie, but it's nothing to worry about." Rayna assured him.

"With Teddy involved I figure it can't be too good. He's probably gonna want me to stay away from his daughter." Deacon rolled his eyes.

"He doesn't really get much of a say there she's my daughter too and she clearly adores you." Rayna smiled at him reassuringly.

"I adore her and her momma." Deacon smiled back.

"I'll meet you at your hotel room as soon as I'm done." Rayna took his hand and squeezed it. He was in a good place and she hoped like hell that she didn't do anything to mess that up once she told him the truth.

Teddy was waiting for her out in the hallway when she finally walked out of Deacon's dressing room. "You just leave Maddie alone with him?"

"You don't get to question me with what you just burst in there carrying on about." Rayna put her hands on her hips and stared him down.

"Look, I'm sick and tired of sitting alone at home waiting for the other shoe to drop. I want this all in the open so I can stop worrying that today is gonna be the day that someone comes in and takes her from me." Teddy wasn't telling the complete truth. He was hoping that when the stuff with Maddie came out in the open that Rayna was still going to choose to be married to him and have him act as her father. He wanted her to want him the way she wanted Deacon.

"You can't be the one to tell him. There's a very good chance that he will kill you. I have to be the one to tell him. After what I did to him he deserves to hear it from me. There's a lot of things that need to be sorted out, but that can't happen if I throw you in his face." Rayna warned him.

"Whatever you say." Teddy shrugged his shoulders.

Deacon was propped up against the headboard of his bed. Maddie laid across his chest while he played guitar for her. It was both their favorite thing to do in the world. "That's it, Miss Maddie, you let go and go to sleep for Uncle Deacon." It never failed that his guitar playing put her to sleep when it got to be that time of night.

"Your momma says that she has somethin' that she wants to talk to me 'bout regardin' you, but it ain't bad. I don't know if I believe that or not. I don't know what I would do if she stopped our nightly visits together. I love you just 'bout as much as I've always loved her." He had a habit of pouring his heart out to the little girl every time they were alone together. She knew all about his relationship with Rayna even though she wasn't old enough to comprehend most of what he was saying.

Maddie looked up at him with her big bright eyes and just stared at his face. Then her eyelids started to droop again.

She had just fallen asleep and Deacon had tucked her into his bed when Rayna walked in without bothering to knock.

"I see your lucky streak with her continues." Rayna kept her voice low.

"You ain't gotta whisper she sleeps just like you. I can make all the noise I want and she stays asleep." Deacon replied.

She took his hand and led him to the sitting area of the suite he was staying in. She sat him in a chair and she sat on the footstool in front of him. She put her hands on his knees and stared him the eyes. "Deacon, I gotta tell you something and I don't know how else to tell you, so I'm just gonna say it. Maddie is your daughter not Teddy's. Everyone who needed to know, but you knew. I had to tell you I couldn't live like this anymore."

Deacon's face turned to stone. His eyes turned cold. "I'm glad that I'm the last to know that I'm a father. I don't know how you could do this to me, Ray. I get that I was a mess, but I shoulda known before now."

"You're right I should have told you. I see you didn't ask how it was possible." Rayna mused.

"I woke up one mornin' at the cabin and it smelled like your perfume. I thought it was just wishful thinkin' on my part now I know that's not true. You were there and we were together. We made a baby that night." Deacon nodded his head stoically.

"Deacon, talk to me you have to say somethin' 'bout how you're feelin'. Maddie needs her daddy to be sober you can't hold it all inside." Rayna pleaded with him. She was so afraid that he was going to fall off the wagon because of this.

"I can't tell you how I really feel or express it the way I want to 'cause my daughter is sleepin' in the other room right now. You don't get to use Maddie against me that way ever. I'm her daddy and I don't get cut out of her life ever again for any reason." He folded his arms over his chest stubbornly. It was everything that he could do not to let his temper get the better of him.

"I was gonna ask what you wanted to do, but that kinda tells me. Do you wanna be involved and be co-parents or do you wanna keep things the way they are now. Maddie already has a daddy who doesn't mind being her daddy." She broached the subject carefully.

Deacon whirled around and fixed her with a hate filled gaze. "She has one daddy not two. I'm her daddy and I'm never to be in the dark when it comes to her again. She's already asleep and I ain't got it in me to fight in front of her, so I want her to stay with me tonight. I ain't askin' either."

Rayna didn't shrink back from his gaze she looked back at him defiantly to show him she wasn't afraid of him. "I have to go have it out with Teddy. It'll be better for her to be here with you where I know she isn't gonna hear somethin' she shouldn't hear."

He ran his hands over his face and sighed loudly. "Make no mistake 'bout it Maddie is mine and you're still mine. I may be pissed the fuck off at you right now, but one day soon I will have you in my arms and in my bed again." His deep baritone was pure smoky sex when he spoke.

"I'm married," She said before she excused herself for the night. She felt Deacon's words right between her legs. She had always and would always come undone at just the sound of his voice. Especially when he was talking about getting her into his bed again.

He smirked and licked his lips as he watched her walk away. He was hearted by the fact she'd only said that she was married and not that she was in love with Teddy. He shouldn't even be thinking about such things right now, because he had to go through a crash course in being a father. He didn't need to worry about winning back the heart of the woman who had just ripped his out all over again.

He went and stood in the doorway of the bedroom. He just wanted to watch his daughter sleep for a little while. Despite the way he was feeling he smiled when he saw Maddie sleeping with her hands behind her head. He'd seen her sleep like that before, but now he knew that she got it from him.

"Miss Maddie, I got no clue what I'm doin', but I promise you that I ain't ever gonna be to you what my old man was to me. You're already my world and the only thing in this world I love more than I love your momma. Your daddy is always gonna protect you and be there for you. I ain't perfect, I know that. And don't tell your momma I said this, but she did right by not lettin' my drunk ass 'round you. She wanted to protect you too. I'm just mad at her for lyin' to me. She was the one person in my life who wasn't supposed to hurt me the way she did. I guess we are even though, I'm sure she felt the same way 'bout me.'

This was his new addiction. Watching his daughter sleep and pouring his heart out to her. It was better than any high or drunk he'd ever been on.

Teddy was sitting up drinking a glass of scotch when Rayna came back to her room. "Where's Maddie?"

"Maddie, is with her daddy." Rayna gave him a measured reply. She didn't know why he had blown their lives apart like this and she didn't know that she could understand even if she did know.

"I'm her daddy." He spoke through gritted teeth.

"If you wanted things to stay the way they were then you shouldn't have come here tonight and forced my hand in the matter." She spit back at him hatefully.

"I told you that I was tired of living every day waiting for the bottom to drop out. With what I know about Claybourne I figured he'd just do whatever you told him to given the situation." He shrugged.

"He's not gonna do that and I'm not gonna ask him too. I didn't tell him about her to keep him out of her life. He knows and now that dynamic has to change. Not telling him about her never felt right to me. I couldn't live that way anymore either." She sighed loudly.

"You left her with him without asking me if it was ok." He fumed.

"I don't have to ask your permission to leave my daughter anywhere, Teddy. I left her with her father. If you've ever seen those two together then you'd know that she's not in any danger from him. He doted on her before he knew she was his." She poured herself a drink.

Teddy stood up and started pacing anxiously. So far this wasn't going how he'd planned it out. "What does this mean for us?"

"I don't know," Rayna took a sip of her drink. "I just know that I owe it to that little girl to make sure her world doesn't totally fall apart. Every decision I've made since I've found out about her has been for her. What I want goes on the back burner until I know she's gonna be ok."

"Is that all I am to you? A guy who was your safe place to land when you didn't want to be a single mother in the country music business?" He couldn't believe what she'd just said. Well he could, it just felt like his heart had been ripped out to hear her say it.

"I didn't say that, Teddy. You can't go around putting words in my mouth. All I said is I don't know what this means for us." She rubbed her temples.

He sat his drink down and went to walk out the door. "I see how it is then."

"Oh no, you came here and decided we needed to make this mess. You are gonna stay and help me clean it up." She put her foot down.

He turned around with a sigh. "What's the point, Rayna? I don't wanna do this with you if it's only gonna delay the inevitable."

"We don't know what's gonna happen, Teddy. The only thing that matters right now is making sure that Maddie is well-adjusted and taken care of. What you want and what I want goes out the window until she's ok." She repeated.

"Whatever you want." He shook his head in resignation.

The next morning Rayna used the key she had to Deacon's suite to let herself in. She was going to make her presence known when she heard voices coming from the bedroom. She stood in the doorway and made sure to keep herself hidden.

Deacon was laying in bed next to Maddie. He pulled the covers up over her head. "Where's Maddie?" He pulled the covers off quickly. "There she is." He smiled and his heart was about to burst from joy. "Now you do me. I'll show you how." He covered up his face. "Where's Uncle Deacon?" He pulled the cover down. He would have said daddy, but he didn't want to confuse her. "There he is," He made a funny face and she giggled. "Now you try." He covered his face back up.

Rayna couldn't help herself she had to get in on the game. "Maddie, where's your daddy?" She pulled the cover off Deacon's head. "There's daddy, get him." She sat her on Deacon's chest. It felt so freeing for her to be able to say that. "If you're serious 'bout bein' in her life you have to refer to yourself as daddy, so she knows who you are." She laid on the bed on the other side of him. She even talked different around him than when she was with Teddy.

Deacon picked Maddie up and made her fly like an airplane. "I think daddy got Maddie not the other way around." He kissed both her cheeks and made her laugh again. "Of course, I'm serious, Ray. This is my baby girl and I don't wanna miss another minute with her. I was serious 'bout what I said last night. You're still mine too and I ain't gonna rest 'til I put our family back together." He stared into her eyes meaningfully.

Rayna reached over and cupped his cheek. She let herself get lost in his eyes. It would be nothing for her to close the gap between them and kiss him. She pulled away slightly. "I'm glad to hear you talk that way. About Maddie I mean. Anythin' else doesn't matter right now. The only thing that matters is her." It killed her to say those words.

He reached over and took her hand. "I understand, Ray. You just you gotta let me be her daddy."

She put her free hand on top of his on Maddie's back. "I will fight to my last breath to make sure you two can always see each other."

He nodded his head. "I want her to have my last name and I want to be on her birth certificate. Now that I know 'bout her I don't want any other man on the record as her father. And I want her to have my last name. I ain't willin' to budge on either of those points. I wanna handle this between us. I don't wanna bring a lawyer into this, but I will if I have to." He wasn't being unkind he was just being a father.

"I will make that happen and you won't get any trouble out of me. We can work this out between us. There's no need to drag a judge or lawyers into this." She agreed. Her heart swelled this was what she had wanted since the minute she found out she was pregnant with Maddie.

"This next one is very important to me. I am her father and the only man she needs to be callin' daddy. That's my title no one else gets to take that from me." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze as he spoke. He was furious with her, but he didn't want to fight with her at least not in front of Maddie.

Rayna kissed his forehead. "Of course, Deacon, I understand. In your shoes I would feel the same way. I will make that happen for you too. Is it ok with you if I take her for a little while?"

"I ordered us some breakfast a little while ago and I was hopin' that me and her could spend the mornin' together. I just ain't got it in me to deal with Teddy. I'm gonna knock his head off if I gotta be 'round him 'fore I get ahold of this anger." Deacon retorted.

"Ok, I will be back to get her later and then later on the bus you and I need to talk." She replied.

"Sure, we will talk later." He agreed. He would do whatever he had to do to keep his little girl in his life.

A/N: This was just something that popped into my head that I wanted to get out. I can either leave it as a little one shot or add more chapters. Let me know what you guys wants. Until next time please review.