Broken Ambers is my new one and my first fic in the Gravitation fandom! YAY!
Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in the story aren't mine.
Abby
Broken Ambers
With trembling fingers he shoved the key into the lock and hastily forced open the door, slamming it shut behind him and not bothering to lock it again. His thoughts disarrayed.
Life was cruel. It was as simple as that. He had never pretended that life could ever be anything other than such. Not since he had become what he was today, a murderer. It was true that he had once been a naïve child that had lived in a world of fantasy and make believe, but that was then and this was now. The whole process then brought him back to his previous statement; life was cruel.
He tried to quickly shove his shoes off, but the one on his left foot didn't seem to want to cooperate. Fury gripping him he wrenched it off and threw it as hard as he could into the room.
He had spent the better part of his life alone and being cynical of all people around him. No one had lived in the harsh here and now, everyone lived in future hopes and dreams, a world that he was not privy to. A world that he had not even wished to contemplate, even to himself. He had lived in his dark and morbidly depressing world were all he did was write his books, ignore his families attempts to contact him and show the world a version of himself that was all lies. Sure it sucked sometimes with only cigarettes and alcohol to keep him company, but it was his life and he'd live it however the hell he wanted to live it!
A small amount of satisfaction filled him for half a second when he heard the shoe connect with the vase his lover had set on the table with beautiful flowers that very morning. The satisfaction left as soon as it had come, leaving him feeling furious once more.
Then, he had shown up.
Without thinking he up-ended the small side table before him, not caring about the mug that shattered on the floor, adding to the scattered remains of the vase that was already spread across the floor boards.
Eri had never believed that one annoying brat of a kid could cause so many problems and turn his life so upside down. Yet, this one kid proved to be able to do that and more, just with a simple word here, a smile there or a tear-filled face before him. The kid was hyper, happy and always looking on the bright side of things. He was the complete opposite of himself.
Unable to release the rage built up inside of him he punched the wall next to him, not caring that it caused a hole to appear and blood to begin seeping out of numerous scraps on his knuckles.
It was the kids' fault that he had started to smile again. The kids fault that he had found the strength to confront his past and get over the fact that, yes, he had killed someone he had loved, but he could move on now. It was also the kids' fault that his cold heart had started to feel again. He should never have allowed himself to be happy when the kid was happy, to feel free to be himself when he was alone with him. He should never have allowed himself to love that stupid punk!
After half an hour of tearing the living room apart all his energy finally left him, leaving the painful emptiness to consume his.
It became so bad that Eri found himself not feeling as complete or safe when he didn't know where the kid was or what he was doing. He became something of an obsession to Eri. Soon he had found himself even going out of his way to make the kid happy. He went to the stupid concerts, listened for hours on end to the endless babble that came out of his mouth, gave him his heart on a golden platter and asked for nothing in return.
A single tear made the slow track from his amber coloured eyes, down his cheek and humbly slipped free of his chin. Following its example, many tears began to follow until he found himself heaving with sobs; the sounds escaping his lips rebounded off the silent and suddenly unfriendly walls of the room.
Eri knew the day he fully realized that the kid had become his whole life. The day that he realized his own world now revolved around that of another person. It had been when his lover had been traveling on a plane and he'd heard on the news that there had been a plane crash. The cold feeling of his heart stopping for a second before his body and mind went into overdrive. He didn't think Touma had been more shocked to receive a phone call from his brother-in-law at 3 o'clock in the morning. What had followed was an angry Eri Yuki chewing out poor Touma at that early hour, yelling at him for letting the kid go on a plane at such a stupid time and that he'd better hope the kid was ok or he'd personally see to it that Touma burned in hell. In the end it turned out that the kid had been lazy and the band had missed the plane because they wouldn't get out of bed in time.
So wrapped up in his grief he was that he didn't hear the tentative knock at the front door, nor the quiet click of the door opening and someone entering hesitantly. Didn't react to them entering to room a bit more, dropping a newspaper on the sofa thoughtlessly, eyes trained on him alone.
Realizing that your world now revolved around someone besides yourself was a big adjustment to make and for weeks Eri found himself not wanting to be near the kid while also wanting nothing more than to hold him and never let him go. He found himself thinking sappy things that he'd only ever put into his romance novels. Things that weren't supposed to exist in real life, only in fantasy. Yet, when the kid fell asleep on his couch he would sit and watch him for hours on end, completely enraptured with how the moonlight would play with his pink hair, making it look almost silver. The shadows that played across a peaceful face made him wish to reach out and see if the angel before him was real. But he didn't dare, dreading the thought that if he did so his fingers would go through him and the illusion would be broken.
He didn't react to arms wrapping around him, didn't care when the person didn't say anything comforting but just silently held him. The person trying not to look into the two broken ambers that cried.
Before long he found himself waiting up to all hours of the night for the kid to get home after a long day of recording. He cherished the times when they ate a meal together and just talked about normal things. Nights alone became hated and despised. Sleeping without his lover next to him became all but impossible. He became exactly what he had swore he would never be again, completely reliant on another person.
He didn't even care when, after an hour of just sitting there, sobbing dry tears, the person helped him to his feet and pulled him away from his home; closing the front door on the now trashed and empty room behind them with a quiet click.
There was only one problem with his life now. He knew that if he should somehow lose his kid, then he would never recover. Losing the kid would mean he lost himself as well. There would be no coming back if he didn't have his little lover to wake up to in the mornings and kiss goodnight as the moon rose in the sky. He would never be the same without his kid by his side.
Eri Yuki didn't even care to notice the newspaper left behind on the still in tact sofa. It's headline in big, bold letters along with a picture of a smiling teenage boy, waving at the camera. He didn't care for the words written there:
'Teenage singing sensation tragically dies in car accident'
No, he wouldn't care about anything anymore.
The End
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