A/N - Yes, the title pretty much tells all. I got this idea one day when I was extremely bored, and trying to think up alternate words to 99 Bottles of Beer on The Wall. So read, and enjoy. Note to detail-conscientious readers: for the purposes of the plot, I have given Sauron a body. He doesn't really have one.

Disclaimer - I own absolutely nothing. I don't even own a house. I live in a jail cell and I am writing this on a borrowed computer. The joys of being a hunted fanfiction writer, eh?

Chapter 1 - Zap

The sounds of machinery disrupted the calm night of Mordor. Calm being, however, cries of agony from prisoners, screeches from Nazgul, explosions, and evil Orkish laughter - which is not very calm by our standards, but by Mordor standards, it is positively pacific.

Sauron was tinkering with something in his workshop, something that he was positive would make him a fortune after he managed to take over the world and start a franchise of useless technology.* Surrounding his workbench were gleaming gears, levers, blinking red and green lights, the Scythomatic (Mow down your enemies in ten seconds or less!), the Xyptimalleosis (Dances and does your homework!), and the Laser Beam of Doom That Does Things You'd Rather Not Experience Firsthand (Run!!).

In the shadows, nine pairs of mischievous glowing red eyes, in the midst of black robes, glided over to yet another machine that blinked with red lights. "Shh," Nazgul #7 cautioned. "We mustn't alert Sauron."

"This was a stupid idea," grumbled Nazgul #2. "Why do you want to try out this machine anyways?"

"Think of the possibilities!" Nazgul #8 exclaimed in a whisper. "We can spy on the Orcs, we can do all sorts of things that no one has ever done before."

"What button do you press?" Nazgul #3 asked.

"Shh! We have to stand on this platform."

"Don't shove!"

"It's crowded. I've only got one foot on. Is that enough?"

"Ow! Get your elbow out of my eye!"

"Shut up! Ow!"

ZAP!

Sauron looked up hastily from his tinkering, and his eyes widened in disbelief and horror as he saw what his Nazgul had done to themselves. He screamed. "Sweet Melkor! Noooooooooooo!"

"Oops," squeaked the Nazgul.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*Thus the modern economy was formed.

A/N - So whaddya think? Shall I post Ch. 2? Please R/R