The Shadow Gallery Has Eyes and Ears

Rated NC-17 for language and sexual situations.

Warning. This is a bit of silly stuff, guaranteed to be offensive to fragile minds.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Moore, Lloyd and WB

The Shadow Gallery. 3 AM. Sunday.

Piano: Oh my God, were you watching?

Wurlitzer: I was. I had my lights on, didn't you notice?

Piano: I can't believe it. In all my 75 years I have never experienced such a thing. Or even believed it was possible. Can you see my cover?

Wurlitzer: Yes. Most of it.

Piano: Do you see that sticky spot over my third leg?

Wurlitzer. Barely.

Piano: He put her on top of me and laid her flat. Then he lifted her legs high in the air and rammed his penis inside her. I heard her go "woof" as all the air leaked out her mouth. He banged her so hard my hammers trembled.

Wurlitzer: Yeah. I saw that. He came to me first and when he punched my buttons for "Honky-Tonk Woman" I could tell something was up. He nearly broke the plastic buttons.

Piano: I thought I was going to go traveling across the room with every stroke. And the noises they made. You would have thought he was torturing her.

Wurlitzer: Did you see what he did when I was playing "Wild Horses"? He set me up to play all the Stones' songs one after another. Were you watching when he bent her over my cover? He stuck his penis in her then too. This time from behind. She didn't have much air for that either. She mostly made grunting noises.

Piano: I was too shocked to look, but I couldn't help but hear. I was told that later on, I guess after they had rested, there was more. I think Sofa knows more about that. Sofa?

Sofa: What? I was sleeping.

Wurlitzer: Piano says they did something on you too.

Sofa: Oh boy. Did they ever.

Piano: What? Do you have stains on you too?

Sofa: Not a drop.

Piano: How did you escape that indignity?

Sofa: I'm not sure. At first they were both sitting on me, then I felt her get on top of him. Then she got off again, but he told her not to go. She said she had no intention of leaving him. I think she got down on the Isfahan. Issy?

Isfahan: Yes. She got down on her knees on me. Right between his legs. I could feel his boots on either side of her.

Sofa: So I know she was still there, but all I could feel was his body.

Piano: So what did they do?

Sofa: You're not going to believe this.

Wurlitzer: Tell us.

Sofa: She opened his fly and took out his penis.

Piano: He let her do this?

Sofa: Oh yes. In fact, as soon as she had his trousers opened, he threw his head back on my cushions and pressed his back into me so hard I thought he would crack my frame.

Wurlitzer: Yes, I was afraid he was going to break me too.

Piano: Then what did she do?

Sofa: She put his penis in her mouth. Yes. It's true.

Piano: Did he like that?

Sofa: I believe he did. He began to squirm all over me, but she held on tight.

Isfahan: Yes, and the boots lifted up and slammed down on me painfully every few minutes.

Piano: I missed that. They were too far away.

Sofa: It didn't last too long. He began calling her name over and over. I thought he was going to cry for a moment. The bouncing got harder and harder on my cushions and he started to make sounds like the last time he was shot. Do you remember when he had to dig out those bullets?

Wurlitzer: That was a terrible night. Do you think she was hurting him?

Isfahan: No, I don't think she was.

Sofa: That's true. If she were hurting him he would have gotten up and killed her.

Wurlitzer: True.

Piano: That's right.

Isfahan: Absolutely. That's what he would have done. But that's not what he did. Instead he ground his boots into me something fierce. And she was humming a little. Her mouth was full, but I heard her say, "Hold still".

Sofa: Anyway it stopped soon after that. He pressed himself backwards into the cushions and cried out like he did when he removed that last bullet. She put her face down even harder into his lap and held onto his legs, because he was writhing all over the place.

Isfahan. Yeah. I remember that. Both boots came off me for a moment.

Sofa: Then all I heard was heavy breathing and neither one of them moved for a while.

Piano: Usually when the penis is involved there are stains.

Sofa: but not this time.

Isfahan: That's right. You know how he is about me. He hates spills.

Sofa. Yes. He did plump my pillows the next day, but he didn't wipe me down.

Piano: I have a big stain on my cover over my left leg, yet he didn't wipe me down. Maybe he plans to do it tomorrow. I haven't seen him in a while. Have you?

Wurlitzer: They went in the bedroom.

Piano: That doesn't help. We can't talk to Bed without shouting.

Wurlitzer: Wait! Listen!

Piano: It's Bed! Can you hear him?

Wurlitzer: He's squeaking!

Piano: Rhythmically!

Wurlitzer: I think we will have to wait until tomorrow to hear from Bed.

Isfahan: And we'll have to talk to Washer about those sheets.