Welcome to My Life
I tried to shut the door of my rusted red truck as quietly as possible, but sadly that was still loud. I might as well of announced my entrance with a blow horn, and a thirty person band parade. I tried to ignore the stares people threw my way as I slung my bag over my shoulder-it wasn't hard, I'd been doing for almost my entire life.
I made my way to my first class, my head down and my shoulders hunched, trying to attract as little attention as possible. Even so, not two steps later I had Lauren on one side, and Jessica on the other. Their bodies pressed close to me, caging me in. They sung the stupid rhyme that had followed me through childhood. It was easy to ignore because of how pathetic it was-it didn't even rhyme properly.
Bella, Bella
Can't get a fella
Doesn't speak, no, not a peep
Stupid bitch Bella.
The last line changed every time. I had made it a game to try and guess what they'd come up with next. Maybe one day they'd find a word to rhyme with my name that wasn't fella, or my name again. I could think of a couple, Cinderella… Nutella… Mozzarella…
I was hoping that that would be all I'd get today, but no such luck. Jessica put her foot in front of mine, and Lauren pushed me from behind. They stalked off laughing as I elegantly landed my on face. I felt my lip split from my teeth, and a stone find a home in my cheek. I tuned-out the laughing, picked myself up and hurried to my first class, wiping the blood from my face.
I would not cry, I would not cry. I would not cry.
I was proud that only one tear had escaped my careful control as I found my way to class.
Welcome to the first day of my junior year.
I sat at the back of Spanish class. Every class room was the same at this miserable school, except for the tech rooms. In all of my classes I took the same seat, the back one in the corner. Here, the only time I would be ridiculed was at the start when everyone was walking in. Once they were seated, I was all but forgotten.
I kept my eyes down on my blank page, studiously ignoring the insults thrown my way while my classmates found their seats. I counted the seconds as they passed. My teachers had long ago learnt that no matter what they did, I would not answer them. I had spent almost my entire first year of high school in detention for 'insolence.' After the first year though, they had given up. So I was the most surprised one in the class when the teacher called on me.
"Isabella, ¿puede usted decir la clase cual su color favorito es?" Can you tell the class what your favourite colour is, my mind automatically translated.
Yes, yes I can. Mi color favorito es verde. Me gusta verde porque esto se parece a la esperanza para mí. My mouth did not open, the words did not come out, my eyes did not leave my blank piece of paper. Not even when the class began singing the rhyme.
Bella, Bella
Can't get a fella
Doesn't speak, no, not a peep
Forever lonely Bella.
I couldn't even begin to wonder when they'd found the time to rehearse that, for I could not believe that they all magically said the same, forever changing last line. Maybe there was an e-mail circulation this year. And today's line-up of ways to mock Bella… Yeah, I could believe that.
The teacher forgot about me as she tried to get the class to order again. They settled down eventually, but I could still feel eyes boring into me. Completely out of character, I looked up, searching the room for those prying eyes. They belonged to a pixy of a girl, with strange hair, and strange eyes. I expected to find a sneer on her face, but instead it held only sympathy. She must be new, not yet added to the Mock Bella e-mailing list. She'll get it soon, and then she'll be just like the rest of them. I looked back down to my paper, and didn't do a thing for the rest of the class.
I was not like that for all my classes. But I was fluent in Spanish. At least in my head, I'm sure the pronunciation won't be right if I ever actually tried to speak it. But I did not think that would ever happen.
I rushed through the halls to my next class, not because I was late, but because the less time spent out of the control of the classroom the better. Somehow, I managed to escape being tripped or shoved, and made it safely to Maths, only having myself to blame for falling into my seat.
I liked maths. You didn't need to speak to get it right. You just needed to be able to follow the formulas. I could do that. My maths teacher, Mr. Cooper, liked me, at least I thought he did until he called on me for the answer to the first question on the board. I checked my work, certain that it was right. I knew that he knew it would be correct too. We had a silent understanding. I'd do the work, and make him look good from my results for tests, and he'd leave me alone. Clearly that truce was over now.
I stared at him, ignoring the eyes of the class. That girl with the strange hair was there again. And again she looked at me with something other than distain. Curiosity.
I ignored her along with everyone else, and just stared at Mr. Cooper until he sighed. "Very well, Isabella, will you at least write your answer on the board?"
It was my turn to sigh. The board wasn't that far away from me, but between my own clumsiness, and the spite of all the students between me and it, my chances weren't good. It was my hope that if I played nice, he'd leave me alone for the rest of the year that got me standing up and carefully making my way down the aisle to the board.
Almost there… Almost there… Just one more table to go…
A leg shot out before me, too fast for me to react in any other way than to fall flat on my face. I landed in a heap on the floor.
"Newton, Principals office, now," Mr. Cooper ordered, his finger pointing to the door.
Mike Newton picked on me for a reason other than my unusualness. He liked me. He was that kid. The one that never really grew up, and was into the weird chicks. I didn't define myself as a weird chick, but clearly I was weird enough for him to want me. Its also why Jessica is so much meaner to me. She blames me for her and Mike not being together. Because of course it couldn't possibly be that she was a crazy bitch.
He was a lot more in-your-face with his taunts. Sometimes using his body to push me against a wall, or to cage me against the lockers with his arms so he could whisper his latest rhyme in my ear.
Bella, Bella
Can't get a fella
Doesn't speak, no, not a peep
I wanna screw Bella
That was his favourite one to use, though he had a lot more. I ignored him most of the time, but sometimes, he really did scare me.
Once Mike had stormed out of the room, and it was safe, I picked myself up and quickly scribbled the answer on the board. I went around the edge of the class to go back to my seat, and spent the rest of the hour with my head in my maths book.
I hate lunch. Its just an excuse to get everyone that hates me under the same roof, so that they can torment me together. I made it through the line with only minimal damage and headed for my table, my eyes on my feet the entire way. Only when I was a few metres from my usual table in the back did I look up. And froze.
No one sat at my table. No one.
So why were five of the most gorgeous people I've ever seen sitting there? The pixy was there, a welcoming smile on her face. She gestured for me to sit down. I didn't move, just looked at their faces. A big bear of a man, with short brown curls, and a huge grin on his face had his arm wrapped around a blonde girl, perhaps the most beautiful girl to have ever lived. Next to the pixy was a male with soft blonde hair and an expression so pained I quickly flitted my gaze over him to the bronze haired god on the other side of him. His hand was covering half his face, but from what I could see, he looked like he wanted to kill me.
Well join the queue, buddy, I thought. Then my senses came back to me, and I dropped my tray of food that I wasn't going to eat anyway and ran out of the cafeteria, somehow managing to not fall over.
I spent the rest of the lunch period hiding away in the toilets. I let my mind wander over the scribbling on the walls, rather than if I was going to have to spend the years lunch breaks here, or try and find another deserted table to. I didn't see why I should have to though. It was my table. I was there first. I should go right up to them and demand them to leave. Who was I kidding? I'd trip up to them and stare at them like a dear in the headlights more like it.
Eventually I dragged myself out of my smelly haven to head to Biology, hoping to get there before the hallway became crowded.
Mike Newton was standing by the door to the room. I contemplated turning around and making a run for it, but he'd already seen me. Too late now. I continued down the hall and waited for the teacher to come, on the other side of the hallway as Mike. I dropped my bag to the floor while I prayed that he'd just leave me alone.
He didn't of course. He sauntered across the small space and pressed his body against mine, shoving me against the lockers. I pressed myself further back, hoping to get away from him. "Bella, Bella," he whispered in my ear, his hands travelling up my thighs. I struggled but he pushed against me hard. "You better make sure I never get sent to the principals office again…" His fingers dug into my upper thighs, and I tried not to flinch. I don't think I succeeded because his smile grew bigger.
Thankfully, the bell rang then and he pushed away from me, reclaiming his spot on the opposite wall as the hallway filled with people. Note to self: Never arrive early to class again.
The desks for Bio were taller and you had to partner with someone. I hoped the fates were on my side again this year, and that the class would have an odd number of students. As soon as Mr. Banner unlocked the door, I rushed in and claimed the table at the back. I prayed for an odd number as the class filled, and I was the only one left alone. Thank you God.
Mr. Banner was about to close the door when the bronze haired boy walked through. He handed a slip to the teacher, saying he was new.
No. no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No.
"Well, welcome to Bio, Mr. Edward Cullen. Have a seat."
His eyes quickly scanned the room and landed on the spot next to me. He tensed when he realised who he would have to be sitting next to. Guess he was on the mailing list then. I suck further into my stool, while he glided down the aisle, apparently completely unaware that everyone was staring at him. He took the seat next to me.
Class droned on and I kept my head down, hoping the entire time that no one would notice me. The beautiful boy next to me did not once look at me, and I dared not sneak a glance at him.
Mr. Banner called on me, and I was only a little surprised. I had come to the absurd conclusion that the teachers had made some sort of pact, that this would be the year that Bella Swan finally talked! Yeah, right.
"Isabella, what is the most common name for the tricarboxylic acid cycle?" All eyes turned to me, including those oddly coloured ones next to me.
That's an easy one, Mr. Banner, the Krebs Cycle, or the Citric acid cycle.
My mouth stayed shut.
Then Edward Cullen did the most surprising thing that's ever happened to me. He talked to me. "The Krebs Cycle," he whispered under his breath.
I turned my shocked gaze to him, but he was staring straight ahead, his hand still covering half his face, and looking like he was in the most unimaginable pain ever.
He'd tried to help me. Me. Isabella never get a fella Swan.
I almost wanted to talk just so he didn't think I was what everyone called me. But my mouth wouldn't form the words, and my eyes went back to my open book in front of me.
"Isabella, answer the question," Mr. Banner ordered.
I didn't look up, I didn't move.
Krebs Cycle, Krebs Cycle, Krebs Cycle…
"Isabella!" His voice had risen.
Krebs Cycle, Krebs Cycle, Krebs Cycle…
The class was silent, but it was as if I could hear their thoughts.
Bella, Bella
Can't get a fella
Doesn't speak, no, not a peep
Why don't you talk, Bella?
"Very well, go wait outside class for now," Mr. Banner said tiredly.
I packed up my things, and left the room. I was strangely aware that no one tried to trip me up, and no one called anything out. They must have something big planned for later then.
I slid my back against the wall, and sat down outside the room, my bag next to me. I tried to ignore the sting of unshed tears in my eyes, but it wasn't so easy.
After a few minutes, Mr. Banner came out. I stood up, and wiped my cheeks in case any tears had fallen. He stared at me for a few moments, a frustrated look in his gaze. He looked like he wanted to scream at me. Go ahead, everyone else does.
"Isabella, this has got to stop," he started, and it seemed to me that this was a practiced speech. "I know you can talk." Everyone did, its why I got teased so much. I'd had to have a complete medical check when I stopped talking. Was I deaf? Were my vocal chords damaged? Had I become mute? No, no, and no. I was just a freak that didn't talk.
"You're a smart girl," he went on. "I don't see why you hold yourself back like this. You can't go through high school like this. This year, we're going to get you talking."
I nodded along like I was supposed to, but didn't open my mouth.
He sighed. "Go back in now, and do the questions on the board."
The rest of my day was miserable. It seemed that I had a different one of those strange people in each of my classes. Except for the big one, since I assumed he wasn't a junior. They all looked at me differently, and almost as if they wanted to talk to me. Though none of them did, just that one whispered answer from Edward.
I ignored them all. I resigned myself to the fact that this was going to be my junior year. Worse than last year, but most undoubtedly better than next year would be, and the year after that, and the year after that. For the rest of my life. Getting worse and worse, until someone Upstairs deems me miserable enough to die.
Perhaps I could hurry the process along, and ask Edward. He looked more than happy to kill me.
AN: Like it? Hate it? Seen it done before? Let me know :)
This came to me after reading Keeping Secrets by puss-is-in-boots. Just saying so credit goes where credits due. It's not the same story at all though. It's more inspired by the movie The Piano, where the main character is an elective mute. And also from Speak, the book and the movie, in which Kristen Stewart is the main character. It was the first movie that made me see her as an actor and not the stuttering idiot from Twilight :P
Anyway, cheers :)