Disclaimer- No, I do not own Kung Fu Panda, or Hangover.
In case anyone's wondering where the hell this idea came from… one night me and my sister disagreed over which film to watch- I, naturally wanted to watch Kung Fu Panda 2, while my sister wanted to watch the Hangover. We eventually agreed to watch them both, and in my sleep-deprived state, the two films somehow blended together in my mind, along with the reviews I had read which complained about the Furious Five not getting much screen time, and what came out was… this.
By the way, this is my first fan-fiction. Please don't be too harsh in your reviews, and try to give constructive criticism.
Cheers.
It had been fourteen hours since they had last heard from the four men.
"Any sign of them, Viper?"
Viper turned away from the window and looked at Tigress, concern all over her reptilian features.
"No. No sign of them. And they said they'd be here by early morning."
"Well there has to be an explanation!" Tigress snapped. "How are we going to explain this to Master Shifu? We can't exactly say, 'I'm sorry, but Po and the others aren't going to be able to make it to the Moon Festival because they're too busy having a weekend-long party!' He'd go ballistic!"
"With the mood he's in, he'd lose it even if we say nothing." Viper muttered. She glanced out the window again. "Where are they?"
"WHERE IS THAT PANDA?"
The two women jumped as their furious red panda master burst into the living room, followed by Great Master Viper.
"Tigress! Viper! Is there any sign of them?"
Tigress shook her head.
"Well, I have to head to the village square to oversee the final preparations. Let me know the minute they arrive!" Shifu stormed out the living room, and they heard him slam the front door shut as he left the building. There was a crash as the painting of the Tower of Sacred Flame fell from the wall.
"This isn't good." Viper sighed.
"Daughter, if what you tell me is true, this was the Dragon Warrior's first night out." Great Master Viper slithered up to his daughter. "He's inexperienced, probably never tasted a drop of alcohol in his life, and maybe even on the winning streak at a mah-jong table. And you never walk away from the mah-jong table when you're on the winning streak."
"You do if you're gaining the rank of master!" Tigress scowled.
"Anyway, I'd better make sure Shifu doesn't take his anger out on the villagers." Viper's father slithered from the building.
Viper and Tigress sat in silence for several minutes.
"What kind of idiot stays at a mah-jong table for two nights straight?" Tigress eventually asked.
"An idiot who's on the winning streak." Replied Viper.
At that moment, there was a knock on the front door.
Viper and Tigress both sprinted into the main hall. Viper reached the door first and pulled it open with her tail.
Framed in the doorway were Crane, Monkey and Mantis, guilt and fear pasted on their faces.
"Where have you three been?" Tigress snapped. "And whe…" Her eyes widened at the sight of them. "What the heck happened to you guys?"
Viper would have burst out laughing at the state the three were in if she hadn't been so angry at the moment. The two women stared at the men in shock, until Monkey spoke.
"Guys… we…" He glanced at his friends, who stared down at their feet in shame. "We screwed up."
"What are you talking about?" Viper asked.
"The party… the whole night… things just got out of control… and we…" He closed his eyes. "We lost Po."
There was a long silence.
"What?" Viper and Tigress said at the same time.
"We lost Po."
"What are you talking about?" Tigress nearly shouted. "He's supposed to be at the festival in four hours for the ceremony!"
"I'm sorry…" Monkey sighed. "But that's not going to happen…"