Author's Note: This idea came out of left field. With respect to the Kyle XY franchise, its characters, its locales, I own absolutely nothing. That said, enjoy this hopefully humorous and definitely long oneshot.

Kyle came home to the craziness that was his life nowadays. While he was engaged to Amanda and the wedding was three days away, all three parents were fussing over them like mother hens. Kyle smiled as he thought of the common expression. It had only taken him until the age of twenty before he'd tracked down a noteworthy compilation of 13,548 common expressions.

Although he was almost 22, it always cracked him up that the authors had mislabeled the book as having only 13,545 expressions. Unfortunately, Amanda didn't understand his sense of humor when it came to things like this; she always said that people weren't perfect.

Yet somehow she never questioned why he never forgot a detail about her. Somehow she'd never questioned how he too could play the piano. The week she'd been really sick with pneumonia, he'd played for her to soothe her mind as she coughed. He had known she would recover – he had helped push it along – but couldn't very well cure her outright without declaring that he was a little outlandish.

She was comfortable with his uniqueness, as far as one could classify two nearly identical people as unique. Jessi had always been the pushier of the two of them, the more adventurous one.

He heaved a great sigh as he opened the front door to his parents' house. In three, two, one…

"Kyle!" He was surrounded by his mother's arms. It didn't matter one bit that Nicole had not given birth to him – she would always be his mother. Otherwise he'd have to call an artificial womb, a metal and glass pod, mom and that just wouldn't do. "You're here! Now you can help with the decorations!"

Lori and her husband Nick came into view, welcoming him. Nick held the twins in both arms.

Kyle always marveled at how tiny babies were. They were fragile things, and yet were able to squeeze out of small spaces and be perfectly fine. He remembered the first baby he'd delivered years ago, as well as the problems that had accompanied the miracle causing his smile to falter for the smallest moment. The twins were two years old already.

As he was pushed along to wherever he was needed, he idly wondered again how long it would take before Amanda asked again about having their own babies. He dreaded the thought. The butterflies from so long ago were now pterodactyls ready to swoop for the next kill.

Another sigh erupted from him – he had to stop reading about dinosaurs. Too bad he'd stopped three years ago.

His attention became divided by three separate conversations going on around him. Nick and the kids were playing with toys in the living room while Lori was talking with Andy, Amanda, Carol, and Nicole and Stephen and Josh were talking loudly over a couple beers.

Always curious, Kyle listened in on his father and brother. It was readily apparent that Josh had walked in only ten minutes before he had, all the way from the east coast. They were drinking the few beers either one would be allowed before dinner, or afterward for that matter.

Josh said, "How are things here dad with the empty nest?"

Stephen looked at him seriously over the bottle in his fist. "Do you really want to know Josh?"

There was a moment's delay before Josh groaned and said, "Nope! Don't want to know."

Stephen joked under his breath, which Kyle caught all too easily, "I didn't think we still had it in us but we're like bunny rabbits lately." Kyle turned to his father with a look of shock on his face, and his father immediately downed the rest of his beer. "That's enough beer for me!" he exclaimed and went outside to the BBQ. "Are you coming, Josh?" Josh left with him, seemingly not noticing Kyle at all.

Kyle also listened in on the gaggle of girls in the kitchen, all supposedly helping with dinner while there was oddly very little chopping or dicing going on. Instead the conversation was frightening.

Nicole started, "So Amanda, do you have the big night planned out?"

Amanda barely blushed at all before replying, "All I know is I'm tying him down."

All the women laughed uproariously.

Lori said, in a whisper, which he caught all too easily, "Is he still shy?"

"In a word, yes." He kept his eyes directly on Stephen because he knew she would glance toward him.

All at once all the women began whispering furiously. Andy was the first to say, "You have gotten him naked by now right?"

Carol Bloom, his mother-in-law-to-be, followed up with, "You know Amanda, your nightgowns are pretty innocent; they cover a lot more of you than they should."

"Nick prefers when I sleep naked."

"Whenever I do that, we never end up sleeping," Andy retorted.

Nicole jumped in, "A little bit of water-based lubricant can go a long way. You don't even have to use it down there!" Giggles and sounds of agreement erupted.

Carol continued, "Do you want me to help you buy that special thing that'll get him so riled up he won't be able to control himself?"

All the other women jumped in with "Yeah, let's all go" and "It'll be fun!" as well as "Girl's night out!"

He completely shut his ears from registering that conversation; his ears were burning to a crisp. Thankfully he'd learned a great deal of self control, unlike his first time at the pool. He groaned at the unwelcome thought.

It had been like this for the last few days with the girls on the telephone, but thankfully Amanda was still herself with him late at night, even though they slept in the same bed. It had been three months ago now that Amanda had rented an apartment and asked him to join her. He'd done so happily, and they had not looked back since.

He was with his soul mate and she was as caring and loving as she'd always been. And sweet, and tender, and really hot, his thoughts added. Their kisses were plenty to "get him riled up" as Carol had put it.

The only wholesome conversation had been Nick and the twins but the kids also whined and complained and repeated themselves so much that it grated on his nerves. He had plenty of patience and would never let them know that they were snotty little brats and yet despite this he loved them dearly. He just couldn't understand the instinct to protect them. They weren't part of his immediate family and were at a ridiculously low chance of harm from anyone who was still out there trying to exploit him.

And yet he often doted on them and babysat them whenever Lori and Nick wanted a time out away from their kids, the twin terrors as they were affectionately called.

Little did Lori and Nick know that Kyle was encouraging some of the more troublesome behaviors, not because he wanted to live nefariously through them, but because he could be himself around them. They knew him simply as Uncle Kyle, and as a magician, while he would have them flying through the air and walking on their hands and stuff like that. They were always safe and were always so tuckered out after a couple hours with him that they fell asleep like angels in their little beds.

He remembered once how Lori told him she was jealous they ate their vegetables with him and never with her. The only thing he could come up with was "I am a magician. They want to eat my vegetables!" Had the kids not been asleep at the time, they likely would have clapped wildly and mangled the word magician at the top of their lungs.

He only wondered what they tried to tell their parents about their activities. Perhaps he'd soon have to stop the more outrageous games, because they were beginning to speak coherently. He figured he had another year at least, but that would fly by very quickly.

And then he'd probably have kids of his own. He shuddered at the thought.

***

Dinner went by smoothly, or as smoothly as dinner with more than 20 people could get. Neighbors and Amanda's extended family came and left after dinner. It had been a great success, without so much as an inappropriate comment about their sex life. Besides, as engaged practicing Catholics, they were supposed to abstain until they were wed, and they were resolute in that practice.

They would kiss, look and touch lightly, tenderly, but definitely no sex. He swallowed hard when Amanda found him lingering near the bathroom, interrupting his thoughts.

She smiled, gave him a big hug and a tender little kiss. "Kyle, there you are." She squeezed him a little harder than usual. "People are starting to leave; you should come down and see them off."

"Won't we see everyone at the wedding," he asked with a smile.

She lightly tickled him in the stomach, because she had noticed his rebellious side. To think he even had a rebellious side! He couldn't refrain from laughing out loud at her light touch. "That's not the point." He started to tickle her back and it was her turn to laugh out loud.

Carol loudly yelled from downstairs, "If there's no baby being made you two should be down here!"

They reluctantly went downstairs and slowly said see-you-at-the-wedding to mostly everyone. Only the immediate family remained and their spouses and the twins, who were sound asleep. Everyone who remained was welcome to stay at the house, and would therefore keep things lively.

Nicole and Carol found him when he wandered off again an hour later. Amanda was talking with Nick and Lori and having a great time. Lori and Amanda had always seemed to be good friends, and now that they would soon be sisters in law, they were becoming even closer. He had nonetheless stayed outside of their conversation after overhearing a few choice words that triggered his filter.

Nicole gave him a big hug and then held him by the shoulders, looking him in the eye. "Kyle, the house is going to be a little crazy tonight; Carol, Stephen, and I want you two to relax in Carol's house for the next couple days. We can handle the rest of the preparations; Amanda's given us all her input." Carol nodded throughout.

Carol added at the end, "We'll call if we need anything."

The hairs at the back of his neck were standing. They were lying, outright lying to him, but he didn't know what about. Was there a problem with the wedding preparations? He didn't have the opportunity to question them because Amanda was suddenly by his side. She took his arm and let out a massive yawn. "Oh Kyle, I'm so beat. We should go to sleep."

"Go on ahead Amanda; I'll continue to help out here –" he started to say.

Carol moved up and practically pushed him into Amanda. "Oh no you don't! We have everything under control."

Nicole nodded, "You really both look so tired. Preparing a wedding is a huge undertaking!"

Carol finished, "That's why we insist we help out and let you rest."

Amanda was pulling on his arm a little more than usual but all this attention on him was hard to take. He was used to being the helper not the helpee. He inwardly chuckled at the word he made up. He sighed and allowed himself to be led out the door.

He took a deep breath as they stepped outside. It really was nice out here, much better than the stuffy confines of the old Trager home. Amanda seemed invigorated as well as she practically pulled him along toward her old house. "Come on Kyle!"

When they were inside, she promptly closed and locked the front door. Her eyes seemed to travel everywhere, looking at the changes her mother had made to the décor since she'd moved out. She quickly ran into the living room and closed the curtains.

He noted her heartbeat and her body temperature. Something was going on.

She pulled out a couple candles and lit them with a match she had had in her pocket. Amanda, not one to typically carry matches, smiled at him sweetly. She placed the lit candles in receptacles that would prevent them from toppling unless an earthquake suddenly struck.

Or unless… This wasn't what they had planned all throughout the evening was it? He knew he was blushing now. How were they supposed to stay chaste if they were throwing them into temptation's den? It certainly wasn't because he didn't want Amanda that they hadn't done more than kiss and a little innocent touching.

He could do nothing but that. Anything more… He shuddered at the thought, despite a growing smile on his face.

In the flickering candlelight he saw and felt Amanda heave a relaxing sigh. She was quite tense. His hands came out in front of him and he blurted out, "Would you like a massage Amanda?"

"I'd love that Kyle," she said softly and turned her back to him. She brought her hair up in one smooth motion and drilled a three pronged comb into the mass, creating a bun of sorts on top of her head. A few strands of hair fell onto her neck and she sighed, awaiting his hands to massage her tense muscles he thought.

This was something he was comfortable with; he'd given her many massages and he only stopped once she was sound asleep. He put his warm hands on both sides of her neck before he realized something missing. "Oh sorry Kyle, here, let me." With her fingertips she gently raised his hands and took off her shirt, revealing the bare skin underneath.

It was true he'd seen her naked on three occasions, but one had been to give her a cool bath when she had pneumonia all of two months ago, and the other two, well, he felt she had done it on purpose, to test him.

With a large sigh she used her fingertips to put his hands back onto her skin. Even before he'd touched her soft shoulders he'd known the skin would be warm to the touch. Her heart was beating faster too. In his mind's eye he recalled her every curve and knew how they would feel when he would touch them.

Didn't he have to wait though until after they were married? He started to ask just that, but found his voice had turned husky. "Amanda," he started.

Her voice seemed to come out silky sweet, "Yes Kyle?" She backed into him and moaned.

Grapefruit, he thought wildly. This was happening much too fast; he would lose control and then he'd lose the test! "You're right, I'm very sleepy." He tried to crack a yawn but it was half-hearted at best.

She turned toward him, a sly smile on her face, clearly not believing him. "Kyle, it's okay. We're getting married in less than three days."

He interrupted her with the exact time to the start of the ceremony, to the second.

She wasn't fazed by his uncanny ability with time. "We don't have to wait any more. We're close enough."

He swallowed as she moved closer still and she lifted his shirt over his head. All rational thought fluttered out of his head when she hugged him. Her lips found his and she groaned. What had once been butterflies were stampeding animals and he could barely contain them. He pulled away from the delicious kiss, his entire body tingling from the experience.

"Amanda," he started again, his voice barely recognizable.

"We have all night," she said, kissing his neck. It took her exactly nineteen kisses from his earlobe to his chest to say the next sentence, "Tell me you've wanted to do this for a while now."

"I have," he muttered, posing it somewhat like a question.

"Kyle Trager," she said pulling away to look into his eyes. "We made out on the couch and on the bed at home a number of times."

"With clothes, fifty-nine times; with only a few things on, six times; with nothing, never."

"That's settled then," she exclaimed, spreading her arms. "We can make out naked for the first time." The excitement got to him; the room started to spin and he fell to the ground. "Kyle?" His vision blurred and he blacked out as she called his name.

***

He awoke to smelling salts and her kneeling beside him. Of course she'd have smelling salts for just this reaction. He was now completely cornered.

Great, he thought, I'm naked now too. He'd only been out for less than twenty-five seconds, which meant she'd either had the salts in her pocket or had known exactly where they'd been. He was too groggy to care which had been true.

"I'm glad you're back," she said with her sweet smile. There was definite concern in her eyes though. He realized too late she had lost her clothes too. Was he really sure he'd been out only twenty-five seconds? They were still in the living room where he'd fallen. There was no way she'd be able to carry him anywhere.

He found his voice, "You're determined to make out."

She turned somewhat serious, but he was still too groggy to listen to her heartbeat or to check her temperature. "Shouldn't I be?" She chuckled. "You asked me to marry you over three years ago and you are very sweet and caring and–" She stopped suddenly. She sighed, and said, "We haven't made out in two weeks Kyle!"

"Two weeks, one day, three hours, seventeen minutes and thirty-six seconds," he blurted out.

"Aren't you just a little bit antsy to get in my pants?" She scrunched her eyes, looking angry. "Well I'm more than antsy! I can wait for sex, wait three more days, but making out shouldn't be so infrequent should it?" When he didn't answer immediately, she prodded further, "Guys your age are supposed to be all over their girlfriends!"

He pursed his lips; he never liked it when she was angry, much less when she was angry at him. Could she understand his reasons for his inaction?

Her voice softened considerably. "I know you love me Kyle; are you scared or something?" She sobered and her voice had an alarming tone, "You're not having cold feet are you?"

Thanks to that book of common expressions, he knew exactly what she meant, and could have shared with her several insights as to why it wasn't a logical expression to begin with. Guys commonly had the warmer feet late at night, mainly due to higher levels of physical activity and therefore better blood flow to the extremities. Shaking his head, partially in answer to Amanda but also partially to get the whole entry about cold feet out of his head, he said, "No, no, I don't have cold feet at all." When her expression didn't change he added, "About the wedding, I really don't have cold feet. I want to marry you."

He sat up and she continued to kneel beside him. She said, much softer, "I believe you."

He saw the "but" in her eyes, and on the tip of her tongue. He gave it life by saying it.

"I already told you my concerns; you just haven't answered them." She crossed her arms.

He stood up and opened his arms wide. She didn't quite smile but rose and entered his embrace anyway. Their proximity, their nakedness made him jittery but he picked her up and started walking up the stairs.

She didn't question why or how the candles extinguished themselves. He climbed the stairs in near pitch darkness, and she didn't question how he never faltered.

When they got to her old bedroom, he found there were rose petals on the sheets and soft music playing. This was so planned. The lighting was dim, but not so dim that it would lure them to sleep.

He gently put her on the bed and she sighed heavily. He had already counted the number of petals and decided they'd used a dozen roses to decorate the room.

She patted a space beside her and he obliged. She said, "Mom's idea."

"Probably moms', in the plural possessive form."

"Oh Kyle, you're so dreamy when you talk grammar," she said with a smile.

"And you're teasing," he replied.

"Am I a bad girl," she practically moaned the question.

He ignored the expression meant to seduce him. He was already hers. "No. You're a very understanding girl, very sweet, and absolutely stunning." She smiled broadly as he let his eyes take her in for all of two seconds before he felt the room start to spin again. He closed his eyes and tried to suppress a gasp, but failed.

She radiated concern, "Kyle?" She sat bolt upright and hugged him.

Having her skin against his didn't really help his condition but didn't completely hinder it either. She held him for a minute, and she started kissing his shoulders. Between kisses, she asked, "Josh told me tonight you and Jessi used to blow up light bulbs."

All signs of discomfort flew out the window. He shook his head briefly, to scatter the misused common expression. Her eyes told him that Josh had spilled a few more beans than just that too. His brow furrowed as she smiled coyly. "Kyle," she started, "Are you worried there won't be any electricity between us?"

"No," he said simply.

She withdrew just a little. "You're not going to force me to ask a question that can't be answered with a yes or no answer?"

The way she stared at him made him realize he was caught. Only the truth would get him out, but he worried that the truth would forever keep her away from him too.

"Truce," he called, a little more loudly than he'd really wanted. "I'll tell you everything."

"Oh good, then we'll make out." She made a point to sit comfortably in front of him.

"If you're still up for it afterward..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, scowling.

After a deep breath, he started. "I was born at the age of 16."

"I know that."

"Born from an artificial womb…"

"Zzyzx, yeah, I know," she said, nodding her head.

He was thoroughly confused, but it did explain why little he did surprised her. "Who told you and when?"

"Jessi, during the state blackout a few years back."

That made sense! She'd made herself scarce after the blackout started, for obvious reasons. It was the day he and Jessi had mutually broken up, and he'd restarted with Amanda at her suggestion.

"Did she tell you about the electricity?" He was completely shocked.

She delayed her answer with a sheepish grin. "Yes, but I confirmed it with a few family members."

"Lori and Josh?"

"And your mom," she replied.

His jaw dropped. "You know everything?"

"I was tired of waiting for you to tell me." She flashed him a beautiful smile. "After Jessi told me that you two caused the blackout – I didn't ask for the details, mind you – I had too many unanswered questions so I asked your family." Her shoulders slumped after she shrugged. "But Jessi started it by telling me a pretty big chunk of it."

He was quiet for several minutes while she snuggled against him. She eventually said, "Are you worried you'll fry me with electricity if you, you know…" She blushed from head to toe; it was really an adorable sight.

"Not really, I'm sure I can keep it from touching you. I'm more worried about the countless deaths and injuries a sudden state wide blackout would cause."

At his comment she became subdued. After several seconds, she calmly said, "So that's why I've never had to beat you back with a bat huh?"

"Why would you do that," he asked, bewildered.

She rolled her eyes. "If you were a guy like Charlie…"

"Which I'm not; I only cause blackouts. Isn't that worse?" They both laughed.

She gave him a big hug. "You know, Kyle, I'm really surprised you didn't find out sooner."

"I don't feel too surprised that you know, so maybe I already knew but didn't want to admit it to myself."

"I only wish I could do half the things you can," she said wistfully.

"It's actually a pretty big burden to keep it from people."

She gasped then said, "You know, I'd love to see your memory of our wedding once it feels like it was all a dream."

Kyle's expression sobered, "The only person who knows that is Jessi."

Amanda playfully poked him in the stomach. "You don't keep in touch with her as much as she'd like."

"But you do." It was an accusatory statement.

"She devised much of this," she said, spreading her arms wide. "She thinks you need to learn control and I have to agree." Then she pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him. "Without a little practice, you'll never learn to control it."

After she kissed him once, he said, "Has Jessi learned to control it?"

"You'll have to ask her; that's private." She sat up and looked him in the eye. "No more questions?" He shook his head. "Time for practice," she said seductively as she swooped down to kiss away the tenuous grasp he had on his control.

***

She held him afterward, rocking him gently back and forth. "All you need is a little more practice."

"More like a lot of practice," he said dejectedly.

"And that's okay too." She exhaled noisily. "I'm glad to help."

***

It was unfortunate that the wedding was held in the church on a cloudy day, because it was a little dark even with all the candles burning. The state electrical authority hadn't yet restored power to northern Seattle. It appeared as though each and every transformer had blown in that area.

Nonetheless it was a wonderful wedding, and despite the numerous glances and comments he'd received from his family about the blackout, nothing had quite surprised him as much as when Jessi made an appearance at the wedding ceremony, bearing flowers.

"I wouldn't miss my brother's wedding." After a huge hug she handed him a card. She said, after he opened and read the short paragraph, "I noticed you weren't successful." She glanced at Amanda with a broad smile, who returned it happily.

This wedding card, normally reserved for well wishing and short comments, held advice:

1. Discharge, lose it all.

2. If you get any sense of warning, repeat #1.

3. Rinse and repeat.

4. Enjoy the practice! ;)

***

On their honeymoon in Hawaii, Amanda laughed out loud when the lights went out. "Oopsie," she shouted, lightly slapping his shoulder. "Did you even try?"

"We've never had sex before Amanda; it caught me off guard…" He hoped the island could repair the damage before their honeymoon ended. His jaw clenched as he worried.

"I take it you liked it." She gave him a big hug and a kiss. "This time," she said, trailing kisses, "try to double the time."

"Will do," he replied between two consecutive sighs.

"You'll get it eventually. Practice makes perfect!" She laughed out loud in the dark.