Warnings: Angst.
Pairings: You'll see.
Sassy's Note: Jedi gave me this to write for therapy… it helped.
It Can't Rain All the Time
Riku pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders, blinking blearily and tiredly at the rain-spattered window. He tilted his head forward and let his long bangs tickle his nose before blowing them away gently. He'd been repeating the process for nearly an hour; he just didn't feel like doing anything else.
He hadn't felt like doing much over the past day or so. After seeing… them… he couldn't seem to do anything that held his attention and took his mind away from his worries. He wasn't acting emo, though. Oh no, he was fine. He was eating, and he hadn't forgotten how to smile. He was just…
Upset.
He couldn't sleep last night – didn't really want to sleep last night. Because every time he closed his eyes he could see a handsome face framed in blond spikes with eyes like crystal blue diamonds, and every time it was followed by a flash of raven hair and violet eyes and an infectious laugh that only made Riku sick at his stomach.
The teen closed his eyes and retreated further into his blanket. It wasn't their fault, he kept telling himself, but he wasn't sure who was to blame anymore. It had been easy, at first, to blame his teenage hormones for the light fluttering in his chest whenever Cloud looked his way. He told himself he was overreacting when the blond actually smiled at him those first few times. He was certainly imagining things when he felt cool fingertips brush his hand for a moment as they passed each other on the street.
It had been easy, but only at first – before an arm slipped around his shoulders and stayed there for an endless amount of time while he was trying vainly to concentrate on the movie; before warm, moist lips whispered almost dreamily into his ear about what Riku didn't catch for the shiver that ran up his spine; before spending almost an entire day with Cloud in the park – culminating with the teen awaking from the blond's shoulder some hours later while said blond just smiled and stroked the teen's wrist with gentle fingers.
How, then, could Riku be blamed for the feelings he had developed? It wasn't as if he'd asked for them or let himself purposely form them. He was just… he was attracted to Cloud. He wanted more than friendship where they were concerned, and he was sure – for just a moment – that the blond wanted it as well.
Until…
Riku grit his teeth, not in anger, not really. He couldn't be angry with Cloud; it just wasn't possible for him. He couldn't be angry with him because as far as he knew, Zack knew nothing about what had transpired between the other two, and he couldn't be angry with himself because all things considered… he felt like the victim more than anything.
He didn't want to believe that Cloud had led him on, but the memory of Zack's warm, happy voice as he called out to Cloud – "Hey, baby!" – and flirted with Cloud, only to have Cloud start flirting right back… it hurt. It hurt bad.
The silvered teen sighed and fell back onto the soft bed. His head was hurting. He should probably try to take a nap while he had some quiet time, but taking a nap meant sleeping, and he didn't want to sleep now any more than he did last night.
He wanted Cloud to be happy; that much he knew. If Zack made Cloud happy, then that was okay. Riku could deal with that, but he couldn't deal with being strung along after trying not-so-subtle hints to let the stupid chocobo-head know how he felt only to suddenly be crushed as Cloud grinned happily with only one name on his lips.
"Zack."
Riku never disliked Zack. In fact, he enjoyed Zack's company, but ZackZackZack had gotten old fast, especially coming from his love interest who only had eyes for another.
"Little brother" was how Cloud had described his relationship with Riku to Zack. Riku overheard him. Not that he was trying to eavesdrop, but he kind of lived here and Cloud and Zack were conversing rather loudly in the living room. Those two words tore at Riku's heart harder than should have been allowed, but that wasn't what had Riku so upset.
No, what upset him so much was the conversation the two had right in front of Sora, Leon and him at breakfast yesterday morning.
"You know, Cloud, if you were a girl, you'd be perfect for me."
"Why do I have to be a girl? I think we're perfect for each other already."
That one stung. After all the time spent together, after all the hints and all the long talks and just everything… right in front of his face.
If Cloud was trying to make him jealous… well, he'd done his job well. That's all Riku had to say.
So here he was, holed up in his room in Leon's house avoiding the world outside. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Kairi seemed offended when he'd told her he didn't want to talk about what was bothering him. Great… so she wouldn't be speaking to him for awhile.
He let out a frustrated sigh because he didn't know what to do and he ached all over from lack of sleep and goddamnit, Cloud, get out of my head! This wasn't getting any easier. Maybe it wouldn't for awhile. Maybe he was just being an angsty teenager. Maybe he really did love Cloud…
Whatever it was, for whatever reason it was… it hurt.
Riku didn't know he'd been dozing until he was jolted awake by a light weight settling across his shoulders. He opened his cyan eyes to meet a pair of deep ocean blues.
Sora bit his lip, patting down the placed blanket on Riku's shoulders and shuffling backward off the bed, but Riku, not wanted to be so alone anymore, reached out to him. Sora paused, staring for a moment at Riku's outstretched hand, and after a moment of uncertainty, placed his hand in his friends and came back.
Riku got to sleep that night with the gentle thrum of a heartbeat in his ears and warm all over from Sora's reassuring brotherly embrace.
He slept better than he had in a long time.
-end-
Sassy: Wish I had a Sora…
