Chapter one: The accident
Meredith woke up from the sound of the baby monitor. Liam her 6 month old was crying. Liam not now, mommy is trying to sleep she thought. But Liam didn't listen and before Meredith got out of bed he was screaming his head off. She dragged herself to the kitchen and made a bottle for him and placed it in the warmer. Than she entered his room and picked him out of his crib. Liam calmed down immediately in his mothers arms. The six month old was happy to wait for his bottle safely in his mother's arms. She looked at him and she was amazed how much he looked like his father. She walked back in to the kitchen to pick up the bottle and sat down on the couch. Liam was gently sucking on the bottle and was looking up at her. Her mind wondered back to what happened in the summer last year. Finding out she was pregnant right after graduation, telling her mom that she was pregnant. Her mom had taken the news quit well. She was already paying for college but offers to pay for housing outside the dorm room as well as long as Meredith kept up her grades and got a side job. Cause having a baby in a dorm room was not an option. Moving to New York for pre med at NYU. And the accident right before the end of summer.
Meredith and Finn where on their way home from apartment hunting in New York. They spent the whole week looking for apartments and with success they found a nice little apartment close to NYU where they both were going to college. Meredith as pre med with the dream to one day become a surgeon. And Finn to veterinarian school. He always loved the animals and when Meredith told him she wanted to be a doctor. He told her that he wanted to be a veterinarian. So they started looking at colleges where they could go together. They could stay in Boston but Meredith wanted to get away from here mother and life on her own. Finn on the other hand who had a good relationship with his parents wanted to stay in Boston or at least close to it and not on the other side of the country. The drive to New York to Boston takes 3 to 4 hours so that wasn't that bad. Meredith was scared tough how would she manage a baby and going to college. They talked about it a lot and Finn promised they are going to make it work no matter what! They were in it together. They were almost home and Meredith was exhausted and than it happened. The truck came out of nowhere and hit them on the drives side and they where pushed off the road. Meredith hit her head against the window and was knocked out for a moment when she gained concisions again she looked to her side to see Finn a banged up with a big head wound. She called out his name but he didn't respond at all. Out of instinct she felt for a pulse but she couldn't find any and she knew it was very bad. She searched for her phone in her pocket and dialled 911. She was crying and waited for the ambulance to come. When the fireman had pulled her on the backboard and the c collar was on the paramedic asked how far along she was. Till that point Meredith didn't even think about the little life growing inside of her. She chocked out 3 months and her hands reached for her stomach. Hoping that the baby would be all right. In the emergency room she was check out by the doctors and they called OB for an ultra sound to see if the baby was oke. She felt so relieved when the tumps of the heartbeat filled the room. The OB told her that de baby was fine and she was very lucky. She just had a concussion. Finn on the other hand was not so lucky. After they pulled him out of the cart hey tried to resuscitate him but it didn't matter he was pronounced dead in the emergency room.
I was pulled back out of my trans when Liam made a noise, deciding he was finished after I burped him. I went to his room and got him ready for his day at day care. Clanging at the clock on the wall I noticed that I was already running late but I couldn't be bothered today. It was Friday and I had a full day of classes ahead of me and right after that I would take the train back to Boston for the first time after my move to New York. Cause tomorrow marked the day that it was one year ago that I lost him. I texted Izzie if she could save me a seat because I was running late. I was out of the door 15 min to late. Liam all packed up in his stroller I walked to the subway. It was a beautiful day and the sun was shining.
I dropped Liam at the day care close to the NYU campus. It wasn't easy to find a day care close to campus that she I could afford but after she made a deal with her mother that she would pay half of it she got him in the day care she wanted. My mom understood that I wanted him close so I didn't have to travel all the way across the city to find a good affordable day care.
Her relationship with her mother had improved so much since the birth of Liam. She had surprised her who she managed to keep her grades up have a side job and a new born. Her mother loved Liam very much. Which was a bit wired for Meredith because she was not the best mother when she grew up but Liam had softened her. And she came to visit every month.
After a quick goodbye to Liam I sprinted to campus and found my seat next to Izzie. The class had already started and Izzie whispered it is the first week of our second year and you are already late. I bit back I know. I was annoyed already this wasn't going to be a good day. Izzie looked hurt by my reaction but she let is slide for now I knew she would bring it up later but I focused on my biology professor. It was a long and hard lecture but it was very interesting. When lunch came around I sat down in the cafeteria with Izzie and later George joint us. Izzie asked me how I was doing. I'm fine I told her but she wouldn't believe me. Knowing me longer than today so she just pressed a little harder and I snapped at her it is one year tomorrow. That was al she needed to hear and left the issue alone.
George, who I haven't seen since before summer break asked me how my break went. I told him that I worked my butt off to save up money so I wouldn't have to work that much during the year and can focus on school and Liam. I worked as an orderlie at NYU medical centre. Sounds like a busy break George said. I knew George had a crush on me. Izzie told me. But I had no interest in dating him at all. He was like my little brother and to be fair I didn't have time to date between college, Liam and work. Izzie and George both went back home for the summer to Seattle.
After lunch we were all in the same chemlab. After chemlab I pick up Liam from day care and had home to pack my bags for the weekend. It is amazing who much stuff a little baby needs. And I needed to take his travel cot as well I used it sometimes when I would have a sleep over with Izzie but we didn't go away on weekend trips this was the first time traveling with Liam. I put the travel cot on the bottom of the stroller with all his sleeping stuff and I hang the nappy bag on the handlebars. Liam was lying in his playpen on his tummy and was looking at me. I could see in his eyes that he was thinking "why is mommy running around like a crazy person''. I stop for a moment and walk towards him. He is giving me a big smile as I pick him up. He has always been a happy baby! I decided to leave him on the bed while I pack my own bag for the weekend. I was standing in front of my closet. What the hell am I going to wear tomorrow! Probably something black but not to depressing and definitely not a dress. I hadn't worn a dress since Liam's birth and this weekend was not the weekend to start that. So I pulled out my black jeans and my black blazer. Finn always thought I looked hot in that one. Sometimes I can still her him say "Hi sexy" when I put in on. I also grab a white t-shirt full on knowing that it won't last an hour with Liam around but maybe he will behave tomorrow for once! I also grab some spare clothes. After everything is packed I walk to Penn station to catch the train to Boston. As I am waiting for the train I am calling my mother. And to my surprise she picks up. Meredith make it sort I am in surgery. I tell her I am on my way and the I should be home in about 4 hours. She promises me that she will be home on time and that we will order some diner. And that she is very excited to see her grandson!
It is not so busy in the train so I place Liam in the seat next to me in his maxicosi. It is such a hassle traveling with a baby. I had to put the rest of the stroller as baggage. Looking at the time I hoped that Liam would fall asleep after his bottle in a while. But for now there was no sign of tiredness in his eyes as he look around in his new surroundings. After the train left the station I pick him up and place him on my lap and get out his favourite book with all the animals. I am making all the funny animal sounds and Liam starts to giggle. He may look like his daddy but that giggle is all me! After I read the book 3 times Liam is loosing interest and is looking out of the window. I pull him close thinking of how hard this weekend is going to be and I fight back the tears, I have to be strong for the little guy that is in my arms! I notice Liam is getting restless in my arms and I know he might be getting hungry so I give him a little snack because it is to early for his bottle. He is munching happily on his cookie I gave him the hard one so I know he is occupied for a little while. And put him in his maxicosi while I take out my biology book and start doing some homework because I know there won't be much time to do it on the weekend with all the things going on. I hope to finish it tonight before I go to bed and maybe in the morning if my mother can watch Liam for a little while. After his cookie I toss him some toys and he plays happily with them. When we have 1 hour and a half to go I get his bottle out of the bag. Normally I give him a little bit of solids as well but as we are still trying and I know he is always making a mess a decide to make a bigger bottle and maybe feed him some solids when we have diner if he is up for it. The train ride has tired him out and I see his eyelid drooping as he almost finishes his bottle. I hold him for a while longer and replace the bottle with his dummy. When I know he is fast asleep I transfer him back in to the maxicosi and then go back to studying.
When we arrive in Boston I hale a cap not to be bothered to go on the bus with my sleeping baby. When we pull up at my childhood home I can see the lights on so that means my mother is actually home. I push open the front door and walk inside. It feels weird being home after a year. I place Liam still sound asleep on the living room floor and go search for my mother. I find her in the kitchen looking at the take out menu. I say hello and she looks at me. She walks to me and give me a big hug and that is when I let my tears go. After the tears I walk back to the living room pick up the maxicosi and take it with me into kitchen where I place him on the kitchen counter. My mom looks at him and says that he is getting big! While she orders the pizza I put Liam to bed in my old room. He doesn't even stir when I change him in to his jammys. And I know he won't be waking up before the morning. Place him in his cot tuck him in and whisper Night, night and I love you to him. Grab the baby monitor and go back downstairs. I talk with my mom about the last month. Working all summer to earn as much money as possible and still having time for Liam it is not easy but I am hanging in there. And she tells me about all here awesome surgeries. I ask my mother if she can watch Liam in the morning after breakfast so I can do some homework. She is happy to do it! After I check on Liam for one last time I go to bed.