A/N This is a companion story to Do You Feel Like A Man? It is not necessary to read that if you want to read this. I hope you enjoy!
When people thought of Sebastian Smythe the word 'kind' rarely came to mind. Nice, certainly, Caring, possibly. But not kind. Secretly, however, he was on a quest to be kind. Not to everyone, of course, that would be ridiculously optimistic. But there was a certain person he wanted to please.
Ben was kind. And nice and caring and downright perfect. He was a model Sebastian had met at a party for rising stars. Instantly they were together. Meant for each other, their friends would say. Couldn't be apart for more than a moment. But they hid their love like any self-preserving couple in hollywood to avoid the public eye. But nevertheless, the public found out. Yet they persevered, ignoring the cameras, waiting for the media to find some other scandal to latch onto. But suddenly Sebastian shot into the mainstream spotlight again and everyone forgot the name of his beautiful boyfriend.
Ben was kind, nice, and caring but even he hid his jealousy of his boyfriend. Each time Sebastian was pictured doing a mundane activity in a tabloid or was recognized in the street Ben grew slightly more distant. Sebastian didn't understand what he was doing wrong. He was trying to be kind and nice and caring. He listened to Ben. He held him on the bad days and kissed him on the good days. Yet Ben wasn't home as much and called him less when he was at work.
But then something amazing happened that dashed all problems from Sebastian's mind.
"Hey Claire, what's up?" it was his agent calling - strange for her to do so early in the day. He hoped nothing was wrong.
"I've got some news for you." She sounded chipper, but then again she always sounded chipper.
"What is it?" A seed of worry had buried itself in his chest.
"A theater company from Chicago called me." She paused. Sebastian allowed himself to hope. Chicago. "They want you to play Sweeney Todd."
"For publicity?" he asked.
"That what I gathered. Have a press tour and such." Claire, being the agent that she was, didn't intend her words to hurt Sebastian. She wholeheartedly thought that being recruited for publicity was what Sebastian wanted. That it meant he was getting famous. But he felt the opposite. He doubted that this company had actually heard him sing. Sure, they knew he could, he had talked about it in enough interviews. But it remained that this theater company wanted him for his fame, not his talent.
"Sebastian?" Claire's voice cut through his thoughts.
"Yes?"
"Will you do the job?" That was new. Before his new break he had to take anything he was offered. But now an option. His mind went straight to Ben. He couldn't leave him, could he? But the stage, oh how he missed the stage...
"I'll have to talk it over with Ben." He could hear Claire smile. She had always liked Ben. Everyone always liked Ben. Ben was perfect.
"OK, but get back to me soon?" Sebastian assented and listened half-heartedly to Claire's daily update on his life. While he listened he thought about how to broach the subject with Ben.
Ben was sitting patiently with his coffee. Sebastian paced back and forth, trying to form words. Ben said nothing. Sebastian loved that about him. He was eternally patient, always willing to listen. He was perfect. Sebastian stopped abruptly and sat across from his boyfriend.
"I got a job offer," he began. Ben continued to listen. "It's for a theater company in Chicago." Ben smiled.
"A theater gig, you're dream job. That's wonderful."
"I know, but it's in Chicago, far away from here. You. And they don't really want me for my talent, just my fame." Ben grabbed his hand.
"Who cares why they want you? Do it and prove how great you are. And don't worry about me, it's not forever, and it's not like we won't talk." Sebastian smiled, utterly in love. He couldn't believe that he had once thought he was better than everyone else when there was someone so selfless, so perfect in existence.
"I love you," he said in response.
"I love you too." It was constantly surprising to Sebastian that he could elicit such a response from so angelic a person.
Claire came over on Sunday to discuss the details of the week and how the move would affect his schedule. As it was, there were four months before he had to be in Chicago. Plenty of time to visit and find a suitable apartment and schedule all of his interviews to promote the musical and the movie he had coming out and attend the premiere and get a new tux for that and get a vocal coach to revitalize his vocal chords and, of course, spend plenty of time with Ben.
Sebastian knew all of this, but listened to Claire intently anyway. He wanted to make sure he had as much time with Ben as possible. Claire had synced his schedule with Ben's agent, so there was no way he would be lacking in time. Of course, he was always lacking in time.
"So this week you're not really up to anything but that interview Wednesday night." Claire finished.
"So plenty of time to fuck Ben," Sebastian said, smiling at the thought.
"In the evening, yes, but during the day ben has a shoot all week." Sebastian's smile faltered for a moment, he had forgotten about Ben's career. But then he brightened again. He had a model boyfriend who he got to be with for seven nights a week. I twas a dream come true.
Sebastian stroked the smoothly muscular back of his gorgeous boyfriend. Today he was going to Chicago to find an appropriate apartment. While he hated to go without Ben, there was no way he could have taken him with. Ben had a shoot and Sebastian could handle it alone. Theoretically. He leaned over and kissed Ben's ear.
"Mmmmmmmm," Ben mumbled, trying to look at Sebastian blearily.
"Morning sleepy." Sebastian said, softly kissing ben's perfect lips.
"Morning," he responded groggily. "You leaving?" he asked gesturing to Sebastian's clothed body.
"Yea... I'll see you in two days, alright?"
"Mmmmmmmm. Have fun. Pick something with a nice bed for when I visit." Sebastian smiled and kissed Ben again as he fell back asleep. He started at his beautiful boyfriend one last time before he was out the door.
"So how was your night?" Claire asked as he clicked the car door shut. "
Fabulous, as any night with Ben is," Sebastian replied as he settled into the car.
"You know, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I don't really think you two could be any more fond of each other."
"I suppose," Sebastian said, trying not to think about his time away from Ben. "It's only for a few months, then everything will be back to normal."
Sebastian walked into the upteenth apartment that day. This wasn't right either. None of them were right! He sighed and told Claire this. She sighed too and went to talk to the realtor. A stuffy man who kept grumbling about how he was being "too picky". Well he deserved to be picky. He was paying through the nose for an apartment in downtown Chicago and he wasn't going to settle for something he didn't feel comfortable in.
Claire came back and said the realtor was about to burst a blood vessel, so they were going to be taking a break for lunch. Claire wanted to go to a shop across the street, but Sebastian wanted to explore the city. Claire "wasn't wearing the shoes" for that so they separated. So Sebastian wandered.
After about twenty minutes and an autograph later he rounded a corner and was greeted with a sight he never thought he'd see again. Santana Lopez. Standing upright with a very business-like suit that she somehow pulled off as sexy. His mouth twitched in a smile as he remembered his relationship with Santana. He wondered if she'd repressed it yet. He pondered whether or not to approach her. On the one hand, she might slap him and storm off, on the other, she might be a friend in a new city. Just as he was about to decide, his phone rang.
"Sebastian, the realtor says he thinks he's found the perfect spot, but you have to come now."
"What? Why would I have to come now?" He stared at Santana, wishing that she would just come this way...
"I dunno, because he's an annoying prick who wants you gone? Just come!"
"OK, fine." He stared at the ground as he listened to the address, avoiding looking at Santana. His window of opportunity had closed.
But oh, was it worth it. The apartment was - as the realtor had said - perfect. The style was beautifully modern, but not to the point that it was uncomfortable. The counters were dark granite and the cabinets starkly white. The living room was filled with white plush chairs with pops of red pillows. Everything was versatile and elegant. There was a guest room and some bathrooms and a dining room, but Sebastian's real joy came in the master bedroom. A closet lined one wall, with the bed against the opposite. Ah the bed, layer upon layer of fluffy mattress and covered with the biggest comforter Sebastian had ever seen. Laying down on it for a second sold him completely. Of course, he was going to pay more than anyone else in the building, but he didn't care. This was what he wanted. No, needed. Claire warned that it wasn't very close to the theater, but he didn't care. All he could think about was fucking Ben on these sheets. But Ben wouldn't he there, he reminded himself. But he would visit, of course he would. Weekends would be for visits. And fucking. Yes, that sounded perfect.
A wrinkle in this wonderful plan came as he remembered Santana. Seeing her today could have been a freak occurrence, but he also might bump into her again once he lived here. He remembered their high school relationship quite clearly, regardless of whether or not she had repressed it. She had been his release, a way to tame the monster inside him. Without their adventures, he would have seriously hurt someone. Since he had met Ben his urges had all but disappeared. He no longer woke up at night, covered in sweat and filled with the need for pain. He hoped that feeling wouldn't return with Santana.